Rocking Dog Ranch

This morning, I wish I had some of Eminem's word magic so I could weave some wicked lyrical pictures for my 2013 farewell party.  No such luck, and maybe for the best anyway! 

Erin Stutland encourages me to make a top five list of what I loved about 2013.  I find it hard to whittle 365 days of experience down to a top five list.  I look to my vision board and find a year well lived with intention and purpose.  I qualified both Nell and Bella to run at the Finals.  I found personal courage to dig deep and face life head on.  I've found the most amazing support system of friends that not only encourage me to be more (or less as the case might be) but come along side me to see me through: helping at the airport so I would be comfortable flying dogs, driving days on end, welcoming impromptu visits, listening and talking through stinking thinking, trying to understand my college football passion all the while supporting the crazies......the list goes on. I've re-carpeted some of the house and actually made a guest bedroom with newly painted walls and a comfy bed. I've found some bones.

Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map is what's been in my mind as I look towards 2014.  I've never spruced up my vision board using "how do you want to feel" as any sort of reference point.  That idea is a little uncomfortable to me when I look at the question from a first glance, superficial point of view.  I've spent my life trying to feel comfortable, liked, pain-free.  I've wrapped myself in a protective covering, built walls, and a list of other actions that really did not actually make me feel a certain way nor did they keep me from feeling anything. I've been digging a little deeper on this "how do you want to feel" question and find that the answers I am uncovering aren't about NOT feeling...which is sort of what I was trying to do if I really look at things. 

How do I want to feel?  Healthy, strong, hungry, learning, drama-free, adventurous, focused, mindful, sharp, prepared, BADASS, improved, authentic.  For the things I long for, I know I need to be; so instead of building walls, maybe I'll build a small bridge with discernment as the gatekeeper. I also know I can risk, all the while checking in for function and health.

I know the thoughts I think are the sails filled with the wind of life, directing my boat.  My muscle memory of self talk needs positive core strength development.  I know, too well, I can be my hardest critique and my own worst enemy, which has allowed for some boundary-less endeavors.  I wonder if 2014 might be about quitting.....letting go......trying softer......in the drama side of life.  Having a bit of an overthinker side to me, some of modern technology seems to create or, at the least, allow more compulsion.  I ponder cold turkey or healthy boundary...but wonder if Facebook, with its competition posturing side, might be like sugar or crack.....better not even sampled as that one taste becomes a whole cake day after day.  I believe for 2014 I will follow some of my friends in the path of deeper relationships, even if it means fewer superficial. 

I've two days left to finish thinking about what I'd like to write on my blank pages of the coming year.  The opening line will type itself if I'm not diligent to living a life filled with my dreams unfolding,  The feeling words: healthy, strong, hungry, learning, drama-free, adventurous, focused, mindful, sharp, prepared, BADASS, improved, authentic, leave plenty of room for creativity to the dreams the words are attached to.  I say....bring on 2014! 

Seize the Day!!!!

I pulled my dog from the truck Friday morning to find, together, we had reverted back a few baby steps; darn muscle memory!!!  Dot was lit, pulling on her leash while trying to greet anyone or anything that might look like it wanted to meet her. For her, on this day, I was just the driver; 'thank you very much for bringing me to the party but you can go home now!'  Any correction I could dish out was met with indifference. I looked around for something, anything really, that could carry some respect.  I found a flag laying amongst the grass, becoming one with the terrain from lack of use.  I pried it up out of the grass's frosty grip and quickly reminded Dot of all we had been working on.  "Get behind", I quietly reminded her, her body complied while her mind teetered on that edge of wild, thoughtless abandon. 

Always after the fact, there at things I remember to remind myself about.  Just a few weeks ago, after trying with everything in me to get Dot to sort something out, I put her away and the next day she came out talented and gifted as if we had been doing that all her life.  After the fact, I remembered: Dot is a latent learner!  Much in the same was, I've seen and sorted over the past month that a flag creates tension in Dot.  I've stopped using a flag, or a whip of any fashion, at home because of this.  I'm a slow study, or maybe because I was hell bent on getting a few of my questions answered, I had a flag in my hand as I walked Miss Dot out into the clinic field. The Universe seems to always dish my plate with what I am to learn in the moment if I am willing.  Willing or not, as I walked up with my dog on a leash, her mind whirling a thousand thoughts a second, me feeling all that Dot was thinking mixed in with all my clinic anxiety creating one big huge toxic cocktail, I did indeed have a flag in my hand; all the better to stir with, baby!  I also did not put it down as I headed out to work her on the sheep. Old muscle memory: so many places where I could have made a different decision and the outcome might have changed.  I clung to the flag.

I look at Dot and see myself.  There are days where she is brilliant, a team mate trying to sort out the relationship heading towards understanding.  At home, I change the picture with different fields, different tasks, mixing up the sheep, we are finding that heady journey of partnership.  Then I take Dot to a new place, new sheep, different environment and she falls apart. She reverts to muscle memory: turning into that crazy, scared, reactionary, hell bent on beating, 20 month old girl that entered my life  Funny how I always fall back into wondering if we will ever "get this", Dottie Jean and me.  Will she every lose the tension? Will she trust me, trust herself, relax, mature?  I shake myself by the scruff and know of course she will....look at how far she has come for goodness sakes.  I'm back to being late to the party and have to yet again remind myself to remember this is a journey; it will happen. My attention leaves Dot and my doubt of what might lie ahead and I look at myself.  I'd  like to learn to let go of some of my self doubt....maybe find some trust in myself.. Will I ever get this?  Will I ever do what my dogs needs right as it happens?  Maybe one day, I can work a dog at a clinic being the exact same person I am while working a dog by myself anywhere else. Dot and I both need to strengthen our new, healthy muscle memory.

My clinic experience was priceless.  I got what I was looking for: watching the natural come out in Dot, the melting away of tension and finding a bit of trust in herself is one of the reasons I like working Dot with Jack.  I then work on the same for myself, letting go of some of the disappointment in my taking a flag out with me.  I know it creates tension in Dot, she needs to be able to trust that I will do what she needs to be tension free.  As I help Dot to develop new muscle memory, I wonder what I can do to join in her journey for myself?  I do know that if I were not on a good road with Dot, she would have never been able to settle in and find her method at the clinic for Jack in a minute's time.  As I sort, I find myself laughing; it's easier to make plans to help Dot with muscle memory.  I'll be sure to keep getting her new places, make sure I am consistent in myself and what I get from her every time I do, diligently watch to see if I am creating tension or relaxing her into suppleness, allowing her to find her answers.  The real question might be: How am I going to find a new muscle memory for me? How can I lose my tension at clinics?  How can I stay true to myself and not fall back into old habits?  I wonder if the sorting of me is the key to my dogs. I think somehow, this clinic was more about me than it was about Dot. So I soldier on, looking at myself, digging deeper, this journey certainly seems it might take a lifetime......

Seize the Day!

As I settle into my morning routine of coffee, Facebook, and blog rolls, I see the results from local trials start to make their appearance.  Scores are posted, run stories are recounted dressed out with a bit of embellishment, award pictures with handlers, dogs and esteemed judges provide proof.  I look over at the faces of those who don't understand why I can't get my hinny into the truck for a drive to spin some sheep around a course, and feel torn.

That's just where I am in life right now...."Hello, my name is Lora and I'm an addict".  If I could, I would trial every single weekend from now until Jesus comes back again. Living in the Pacific Northwest while coupled to the fact that I am not afraid to drive, days on end if necessary, I can legally and healthily feed my addiction.  No one would be the wiser because there are others that are addicts too; which helps in my justification and makes me look a little more normal (just a little). Oh, but I did not start out this life of mine as a dog/sheep/trail/clinic/lesson addict; which makes me wonder about the genetic makeup of my disease.  I can't slip into blaming my parents for this one.

This weekend, my son came home from college.  Thanksgiving was the first time since August that both of my boys sat on either side of me. I felt complete, there with my husband across the other end of the table.....adults all of us, conversing, laughing, sharing stories of lives well lived.  I'm getting better at management; family time is precious and football games a finite number when it comes to my flesh and blood in pads on the field.  Finding balance requires great imagination as well as patience from my friends.  I still chuckle about the day I listened to a football game while taking a break from a shedding clinic.....my son catching a touchdown pass and me going game day crazy.  I'm sure it does not surprise anyone that my game day crazy is CAARRRAAAZZZZYYYYY especially when its my son catching the touchdown pass!  But I missed it in real life.  Friends stood in the gap, posting the clip of the catch on Facebook for me to watch (time and time again) while another friend watched the rerun that night with me. If I had to do it again, knowing then what I know now, I'd do it just the same (other than I would have begged the gal living next door to let me watch it on TV)  Balance; I'm not sure there is any "program" that uses the word BALANCE...but I'm balancing.

"I can't; God can; I might as well let Him" becomes my mantra second to Seize the Day.  Then I dig deep and work at finding balance between the things that ignite my passions: family, friends, dogs.  I'm thankful that worlds collide: circles over-lapping circles as my family "gets" my dog passion and all of my besties understand my life outside the dogs. Next weekend, there is a local dog trail that I will miss.  Instead I will drive up north for some dog work and dog friends then cross the mountains heading east to a play-off football game and family.  Weather and roads cooperating, it will be the best of my balancing act.  Today, I'm missing yet another trial down the road.  I'm staying home to help pack my son's ride as he's heading back to college today.  I always feel a little sad in the hours and days after he leaves. I will not miss his send off.  I know too well, there will be a day where my home won't be his home and he will just visit me. 

Gyp and Nell have come in and put their heads in my lap.  I scratch them with deep affection, glad they don't have computers with Facebook or blog rolls. Thankfully, they don't know they are missing a local trial. Once the boy is packed and headed on his way, I think I'll take the girls out to feed my addiction, give them a spin on sheep while filling in the bit of void left behind by my boy and the unattended trial.  I'm balancing my addiction.....I'll let you know how that works out for me!

Seize the Day!

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend" ~ Melody Beattie

I took the long way home yesterday; the road that winds up through the timber dense hills breaking out into green fields of agriculture.  An early morning Thanksgiving visit to the ranch to feed was in order to allow for my busy Turkey Day schedule. The day's feast needed to be whipped up while honoring our long standing family tradition of a movie in the theatre which meant a good three hours away from home.  As I drove along, my mind making and checking lists, I looked up ahead around the corner darkened by thick overgrowth, just as four deer slowly stepped out onto the road.  I slowed down as I approached them, watching their elegant prancing trot as they crossed over to the forest waiting to swallow them up into unnoticed blending on the other side.  I came to a stop and looked left, my grandpa's forest training that has become instinct to me after years of hunting with him, and indeed it was as I knew....a big doe brought up the rear guard.  I watched her cross there in front of my big red truck, pronging quickly once she passed the far head light, ending with a  big leap to join her family who had already gone safely ahead. I sat still, trying to watch the family for as long as I could see them until their camouflage tricked my eyes and they could have privacy.  After they were gone, I felt like I had been given a gift....one of remembering yet again that life is full of tiny little gifts if I am willing to be open and watchful for them.  Willing and watchful while dying to my clock, allowing time to be filled with gratitude for small treasures I collect as life unfolds.

There are days where I allow myself to get caught up in a taken for granted life.  I focus on what needs to be done, what needs to be fixed, or worse yet what I don't have, what goals have fallen short, what requests have not yet been filled.   My to-do list never gets done.  Not that I am not productive but there are always things to add; more projects taken on, more goals to meet.  I guess I'm thankful for the awareness of this flaw in me. I'm hoping that awareness leads to a better, more noble quest to find gratitude.  And I'm not talking of the gratitude that is conjured up to meet some manifestation of more.....I'd like my quest to be a little different.  I'm searching for the Holy Grail of Gratitude; the kind that permeates my soul and comes out just because I'm open, looking, knowing that little gifts happen everyday if I'm available, without expectation to what they will look like. 

Last evening, as Thanksgiving 2013 began its sunset into Black Friday, I've thought over the past year, many of the deer crossing moments that came my way and I wondered if my friends know how grateful I am for their part in the gifts.  The friends that watched my ranch time and time again, lambing out culls while I attended Heppner, watching the flock while I hit the road for Kentucky, chicken sitting my flock of hens.  I think about the friend that drove with me for three weeks, living out of a little 17 foot travel trailer, 7 dogs 10 days of trailing, endless miles filled with the exchange of blood, sweat and tears. While another opened her ranch in Nebraska taking on two little known travel weary girls who sorely needed a washing machine and a bit of dog work. Then there was the friend in Missouri that allowed a helping hand during a time when having someone around might just make for more work.  Another friend being willing to share a ride and work out the details of a Washington DC airport with two dogs and all the stress and overwhelm that was trying to stop my trip to the Virginia Finals.  The phone calls when real life got a little heavy, the support when the impossible took courage, when many a superficial friend would bale, there were those who dug deep, stood in the gap, carried me for a little while.  The friend that I am thankful to call a mentor, speaking true words to me; giving precious time to watch my dogs run, to not give up on me. A friend that allows the trust of big fields and flocks of sheep for my pleasure.  The friends that decompress after runs with truth, honesty, death to ego....those who share the journey knowing it is more about self. The new friend that shares in the dogs, the work, the training.

Today, with everything in me, I want to thank you! Thank all of you who have given me a little bit of yourself....crossing in front of me on the road of life.  I can't even begin to express all the gratitude I have for each of the gifts given, big or small, known to the world or known just by me.......how thankful I am for what each of you helps mold me into.  

“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.” ~ Lao Tzu

May I be filled with gratitude every day I draw breath.....

Seize the day!!!!

First, I want to say thank you to all of those who took time to write the kindest of words filled with encouragement and support.  The days are smoothing out the raw edges a little and the bottom of the wound is granulating, slowly starting to fill in. Memories swaddle the ache in balm and friends provide the compression bandage that holds my heart together while it gets used to the new Spark sized hole that's been left behind. I miss him. 

I am very glad I did not let grieving keep me from attending my fourth Scott Glen shedding clinic up at Fido's Farm.  The clinic was darn right amazing for me.  I'm not sure if I had heard the insight and wisdom that was shared before; if I have, it went in one ear and out the other.  Be to the fact that clinics are the bread and butter to clinicians, I am not one to tell the secrets of the trade with discussions about exercises and specifics with anyone other than those who paid to attend......but I will say the basic teaching was about ME!  Does that surprise anyone??  ME!  Yep, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!!!! Pretty self centered and self absorbed, eh?

If I were a dog, I would have a bit of eye, a lot of come forward...and I might be a little "on the muscle"!  I'm working on cleaning up my flanks, having open flanks be my first go-to, coming on when I need to, learning to saunter, working smart and using the clock as my friend, working in the middle of the ring, managing my sheep without shutting them down, having a plan but being able to see the bigger picture as contingency plans unfold, if I am going to do something radical: do it wholly, find enjoyment in speed and movement, and biggest and most important, accurately reading my sheep.  I don't think there are any "secrets" to the above.....

I think my biggest issue is focusing so hard on understanding shedding....all those teeny tiny nuances that feel like the stars in the universe that come together to allow a shed, especially of the international variety.  I'm not sure I remember the exact process of learning to drive a car....but I'm sure shedding is a lot like that....it becomes more familiar over time with miles and experiences. It was easier to claim driving my own when I had a driving instructor who helped show me the ropes with the safety net of a brake on his side of the vehicle.   Hence why I continue to go to this shedding clinic; I hope to develop good habits by way of osmosis from the fellow who gets the best shed at big trials on a regular basis.  It was good to sort out my natural inclinations...that way I can work on developing muscle memory in a more productive fashion.  When I concentrate, my flanks get tight, I focus on the specific sheep I want to cut off and I squeeze.  I'm a maker!  Sheep don't like to be made......maybe if I were a more powerful dog I could 'make them' on more occasions but I need to become a crafty dog, so to speak.   Now it is time to develop some new natural inclinations while not going to far in the other direction.  It might be time to put my name in the hat for some big flock winter work again, with or without my dogs.

The journey continues and life lessons are scooped out and served up with side dishes: self evaluation, learning, improvement.  I always expect so much from my dogs.....I'm glad for clinics that are about accountability for me to step up to become who my dogs need and, for that matter, deserve.  Where earlier years, I focused all on the dogs.....now I see, again and again, how this really is about me.  Relationships can not be meaningful and deeply rewarding without both parties holding up their ends of the commitment.  My dogs give me so much.....I'm thankful for the opportunities to learn how to develop more in me to give back!

Seize the Day!

Yesterday, I did the impossible.  Finding the courage to help a four-legged friend across the rainbow bridge is right up at the top of my list of impossible things......the drive to the vet's office taking 9 1/2 years, yet I blinked and I was there.  I tried to dig deep and find my inner Amazon Warrior Dragon Slaying Woman....but I burst into tears in front of the poor receptionist and crowded waiting room.  The receptionist is pretty new to the clinic; a young, cute blonde that I intimidate the hell out of....she did not understand the chokes coming out of my throat, but my vet did.  He saved her, coming around the corner, through the door and whisking me around back to the safety of my truck.  My truck that swaddled my dog in fleece on the front seat....DRIVE AWAY!  Drive back down those nine years; play a little more ball, work him on sheep, let go, laugh, be silly, have fun, embrace friendships and don't take the competition so freaking seriously. 

Spark was an old 12 1/2, very sick and I had promises that I had made to him.  Promises of quality of life, living pain-free, not making him suffer in days for me......and he was tired and sick and could not walk nor eat and a little bit of me was weak too. I did not want to see him struggle to survive to make me happy.  He had spent his whole life trying to make me happy.....now it was my turn to let him go. I held him, there on that front seat, all the way to the bridge and cried dark flooding winter cloud buckets of tears after he crossed. Please let there be Heaven where I can throw a mean tennis ball for my friend when I cross. 

I had no idea how damn sad it would be, the minutes turning to hours and now a day of a Spark-less life.  The pack adjusts and I had no idea how quiet it would be. Spark was the rebel-rouser and just a tad bit demented old dog that would go out and bark; maybe for the fun of barking, maybe barking at shadows, maybe barking to get me to come out and tell him to be quiet.  Snook is lost without her buddy.....in the younger years he would chase her around the Sport Court and it was always, for Snook anyway, a serious race to see who could win. Snook used to always win.  Mostly because she does everything serious while Spark did things to make his friends happy.  He never had that do-or-die attitude nor did he find he could not live without the win...so he let Snook be the Alpha Bee of the backyard.  In the past year, with age and creaking bones, Snook would pick on Spark.  He always took it like an older brother, "ya, ya, you snarkie old bitch" and I would go and have words with Snook sometimes dosing a time out with a side of Tramadol. Snook is lost.  This morning she had words with Bella and Bella isn't the kind of dog to "ya ya" Snook.  So I watch the pack with a stern vigilance, knowing 'this too shall pass".  Nell surprised me with her sadness.....she laid with me on the couch last night, putting her head on my shoulder, feeling my pain and looking for her buddy.  Spark and Nell would spend evenings together in the front room, sleeping on the "finer" furniture while the rest of us watched TV.  Nell is lost too.

It's too quiet here at my house today.  Me, I continue to let go, grieve, feel the sadness, and miss Spark.  I sort and resort, beating myself up and countering with forgiveness.  I find a bit of healing in the memories and sorting photos for Spark's life movie; if I could only print the pictures in my mind.  Instead I'll weave his story with words trying to capture his essence and hold it in my heart where he can live on.  Live on as the youngster that changed my life so radically by all he gave my son and all the rest of us that got to share in his life.  

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" - A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

I know I am not alone in my grief, many friends have had to help their best friends across the rainbow bridge.  I take comfort from their journeys of life after.....right now the missing consumes me but their survival gives me hope.  I'm off to, yes indeed, another shedding clinic.....on the one hand I don't want to go...I'm such bad company. On the other hand, it might be nice to get out and stretch my heart a little, give my tear ducts a break.

Life goes on, it's for the living, there are memories to make...be sure to pack a camera.....and hug each dog.

Seize the Day!

In preparation for winter projects, yesterday I went to Ikea and bought the fixings for two stand up computer tables.  Sitting takes its toll on my psoas!  Mission accomplished, psoas saved,  however, my Ikea experience was purgatory verging on hell for me.  Thank goodness I made the mistake of going upstairs into the showroom first....I had my list of what I was after but had no idea I would need to know the aisle and bin number from the huge mother of a warehouse below.  Some marketing genius from Sweden came up with that never ending show room.....big, fat, winding,  yellow brick road and signs assuring me I was headed to checkout and store room down a level but I kept going around and around with those displays!  Thank GOD they did not have their crazy food bins at each change of room, I might have had a sit down and eaten a few Swedish Fish!   I did find a bed I want once I get the new carpet in.....bastard marketing people!

Indeed, I walked away with the items I needed to accomplish my mission, although I did not get the correct brackets, what I did get worked fine. The stand up computer desk turned out very slick......and the whole idea was borrowed from Colin Nederkoorn's Blog




So here's to a healthy psoas....and some extra calories burned in the process.....

Seize the Day!!!!

Dot came to me at the end of January.  I really was not looking for a dog, but she came anyway.  I love the challenge of starting a dog and winter was really getting to me.  Taking a young dog in for some time and miles was a fabulous cure for my short day, lack of sun blues. Dot unpacked her bags and decided to stay.  She is out of a little bitch from Ettrick Sheepdogs and her daddy is Marilyn Volpe's Tan, a son of Derek Scrimgeour's Ben. 


Starting Dot has been a journey of me. I had to die to any agenda, any time frame or expectation of what she should be doing. It's taken time to work my way into this little dog's heart, developing relationship and desire for teamwork.  In the beginning, she had her own M.O.  Corrections made her try harder doing exactly what she was doing to get the correction.  Pressure sped her up and created the challenge of "beat".  "That'll do" meant, 'go back to the sheep and bust 'em up and don't get caught because you might never, ever see sheep again!' One of her saving graces is: she is not grippy.   I've taken my time...working on relationship and respect, working her on sheep and allowing her to learn without forcing it upon her.  She is my first "latten learner"; there will be days where I'll put her away without feeling any accomplishment of learning and the next time out, Dot has sorted her answers in the off time. 


Since coming home from the finals, little Dot's "window of learning" has been wide open.  I've been working her every day on lambs.  Watching her sort, figure things out, finding her wanting to work with me and even calling off with the joy of "what's next?" Dot has taught me to allow things to unfold without "make", finding ways to help the sheep to show her answers.  I'm enjoying the journey with her trying to not care so much about when we "get there" but more "the beauty along the way". 

These are the things that make my heart sing......

Seize the Day!

I'm settling into my post Finals days.....my muscle memory is not developed for the knowing of what the days after a big, year long event goal look like after the passing of that event.  A part of me whispers "push on, trial hard, find points for Carbondale" and another part counters, in a little louder whisper, take time.  I'm taking some time......

Yesterday I went to the memorial for a 22 year old young man.  I can hardly type those words,  feeling the absolute grief of a mom who knows in her marrow this was not the way it was "supposed" to happen.  This young man grew up along side my boys: indoor park in the early single digit years of life that feel like the beginning of time and yet just yesterday.  Endless days at the Hoop, the basketball court beckoning the boys, teaching them about the game on one level though really, deep down, unaware, showing them the meaning of life.  Same song next verse on the football field, early double digit years, where this young man became the team manager.  Some might think it a glorified name for "water boy" yet looking back he was the ultimate "manager".  He, who taught these boys, those who grew up along side of him, so much about everything important.  The sports bringing them together, the learning sneaking up and into the boys' hearts.  This young man was special, as all of us moms know our boys are...but this one extra so.  He's mom shares: "When he was very young, he was diagnosed with Dyspraxia, a movement and sensory integration disorder that made everything he tried to do more difficult and time consuming. From moving his eyes along a line of print, to holding a pencil to write, to forming clear speech, he had to work very, very hard - often to exhaustion"  Maybe those boys on the football team never knew how hard this young man worked, yet they saw him: every day at practice, every game, every rally.  He was different.....they all knew that for sure, but the boys sorted through the different exterior and found underneath a kid just like them.  One with a wicked fun sense of humor, my youngest saying he was one of the funniest guys he ever knew.  A boy passionate about living life to its fullest and finding fun in everything he did. 

As I prepared to go to the memorial of this special young man, I thought of my words. What could I say to begin to share my gratitude to this boy for teaching mine about looking past the differences to see the real person?  What a gift!  What a gift that's been given to a group of boys at an early age.  I see compassion and understanding in both of my boys and am really thankful to the manager who helped nurture these qualities in each of them.  It's the fruit of a life well lived, the sharing of a gift of this magnitude.  Fingerprints that last a lifetime in those lives the manager touched.  As I looked at the group of men who formed the high school football team just a few years back, hugging the manager's mom and sharing in her deep grief, I was so proud of who the manager helped them become.  I hugged his mom too....told her those words of deep thanks for the gift that was given through the living of her boy's life.  He changed a group of boys and in so doing he changed the world!  May that knowledge be balm to the loss and missing and the knowing that this is not supposed to be......I know we will all miss the manger.

As with the passing of each of my days, I dig a little deeper to make sure I....

SEIZE THE DAY!

I am trying to finally get my body back onto West Coast time.  Maybe it is the age, maybe it is the let down of the event being finished but, I tell you what, I wake at 4 and fall asleep at 7!  That said, I had the best of times at the 2013 Finals in Virginia. 

It was my first time flying two dogs and I admit, I was a little nervous.  So much out of my control....but the girls did just fine.  I can't thank my friend Joe Haynes enough for picking me up at the airport and sharing a ride all week.  He was a trouper stopping at old houses


 and Civil War Cemeteries.




and driving through every single puddle I could find on the side of the road! 

Belle Grove Plantation......


exceeded any expectation I had in my mind's eye.


As I walked the fields with my girls, stretching them out and letting them run, we walked among the fallen dust of the civil war.  The Battle of Cedar Creek is memorialized in a field adjacent to the Plantation.


I ran a camera, filming runs for friends and my own personal homework.  I love filming because it makes me watch meticulously while keeping me from getting distracted...well for the most part.  I only have a few pictures of the trial...and none of me and my girls from the post.  That makes me a little sad but then Joe & Bryan filmed my runs so I have video AND commentary!

Dude at the post while I walked the cross drive

And then the skies opened up and the rain came....rain much like the Pacific Northwest but the January variety.

As I leave more years behind me, I've begun to really appreciate the value of a true and good friend.  I'm not one to collect "friends" as if they were flower arrangements; the bigger the better in quantity.  I've also come to embrace the fact that I am a pretty private person, my journey is one of becoming, and the word "friend" holds a special definition of quality, accountability, transparency, authenticity, loyalty, truth, with a smidge of unconditional love.  I love that line in the song, "your best friend sticking up for you, even when they know your wrong." 

As I prepare to head out to the Finals in Virginia....it was good to take time and work dogs with friends. 

Shedding on lambs at my little slice of Heaven.....


Lengthening outruns....


Enjoying the beauty of the dogs, discussing the goods and needs works....


I love the opportunity to get out and work as many places as I can.  It might sound crazy but it makes me happy to see the dogs sort out new sheep and different situations.  Even when it does not go as planned, the ride home sorting and evaluating and digging deeper to find ways to help the dogs find the answers with me, is one of the great pleasures of my life.

Gyp is just sure Mary needs her help!

I'm also finding some flexibility with age.....though that flexibility comes about much like birthing a 10 pound baby: lots of pain!!!  My thoughts of driving to the finals changed with the reality of autumn weather; shorter days, unsure of route to get there and back, changes at home requiring attention, grass needing planting, lambs needing sold.  Maybe all the above are just excuses for my butt not really wanting to sit in a truck seat for 3 days to Missouri then 2 more on to Virginia, but heck, I am now flying.  To be honest, there were a few days I contemplated not going. Then I gave myself the pep talk about not letting fear dictate what I do and don't do with my life. I really could not have gotten to this decision if it were not for my friends.  Nell, Bella and I are flying across America to experience the finals in Virginia.  I'll try to blog my adventure......probably not much on Facebook because I am trying to take that is smaller doses these days. 

Friends.......I'm so thankful for my good ones......

Seize the Day!!!!

Once again, sheepdogs imitate life and I learn the lesson that, sometimes, life doesn't manifest exactly as the dream....but it's still great.

I got a call from the sheep boss last week asking for some help with a flock of sheep over on the coast.  See, the shepherd had a baby and that baby has him wrapped around her little finger leaving the sheep boss desperate for company....well, okay, truth be told desperate for some dog work.  When he called to ask about the gather....I envisioned a slope of green grass allowing for a big huge outrun  from my Gypster.  Or maybe a flat big field, sheep scattered, grazing pastorally as if just waiting for their cab ride home; either scenario giving Gyp some much needed work and experience.  "Sure, how about Sunday!"

 We got to the field after winding our way across the coastal mountain range that protects our valley from winter storms, the fall rain I have been praying for starting the day off cool.  The sheep boss informed me the sheep were right over that hill there, and my job was to gather while he and his sidekick started making the catch pen.  "How far back does the field go?", I naively inquired. "Oh about a half mile or so, you'll see 'em"....could I hear a smirk in his voice?  So Gyp and I broke up over the hill...meeting a small flock of ewes on the road Just as the thought tickled my brain that it was my lucky day.....the wise and crafty ewes high tailed it, as far as a docked tail can be high, running in the other direction; me, hoping they were headed back to the mother flock.  The field lay before me, a tributary off the ocean to my left and marsh grass taller than my waist covering it entirely, broken up only by blackberry bush hills and sheep paths.  Not a ewe in sight but heck, it was raining and cool...a good day to get my 10,00 steps in.  Gyp and I picked a sheep trail that would lead us up and around.....and as we tromped I felt like I was hunting with my Gramps as a young girl....spooking out that which we hunted....although this day it was sheep and I took the leadership Gramps role while Gyp was my wing girl. 

I died to a lot of thoughts that day....honest nests, ground yellow jackets, bears, as we settled upon a newly laid pile of berry scat by the body of a dead ewe.  Bears must be opportunistic as well as hunters.....me, hoping the bear was full because Gyp and I were  not interested in being an appetizer and meal on this fine, cool Sunday gather.  And so it was that we walked the entire meadow and drove the flock of ewes and the seven new born lambs that were on the ground that day to the catch pen. 

On the way home, Gyp and I stopped for a well deserved skinny caramel latte, I knew we had done well.  It might not have been what I dreamed of, but it was a job that needed done and so we did it.  As I scruffed her ear, I was thankful for this little dog that was not running open just yet.  She can work without me worried about any trial in our near future. 

And so indeed, sheepdogging imitates life......days where it is not the dreamed of living turn into something special; memories created from the magic of getting it done. 

Seize the Day!

Four weeks.....28 days.....672 hours......40,320 minutes......then I hit the road.  No more making plans, it is time to start living them! 

Bella's physical therapy appointments have the Ortho vet telling me to "start working her".  For the past week I've been jogging her with the four wheeler and taking long walks with her.  Afterwards, I stretch her out and give her a massage and let her ride up front as "truck dog" and I wonder if she will ever really be 100% because she likes the special treatment so much.  Back on sheep, Bella is full over herself with push, tight and stop-less intensity; so we shed.  Shedding seems to bring sense to all the clean up for Bella and it works me out too.  It's good to have her back!  I'm looking forward to my next appointment with the Ortho vet to see how my week of work have played out on Bella's body.

Nell is really fun right now.  We are working on her listening and me being accurate; no guessing for either of us! We are shedding too but I'm doing bigger, longer work as well. 

Then there is me; right about now the dogs ask for the key board as they have some things they would like to share.  I tell them to start their own darn blog but I listen.  Nell would say, "keep to the whistle program. They are getting better but loose clarity with fatigue"  So I work on my whistles, work on my physical stamina and health, work on my head and mental toughness.  Then I break out MapQuest and start planning my journey to and from The Finals.  Idaho, Montana, Colorado, Missouri, Kentucky, Virginia there.......home might include a quick stop in Indiana and then I fantasize about making a southern tour.  There are friends in Georgia, Texas, and Nevada I'd like to spend time with.  All the while, I visualize Bella coming into heat and sorting through my list of potential husbands, some of which could be visited on the way home, which expands the list!

All the while, life goes on.  My ranchette and livestock need attention, the barn needs cleaned, more hay to haul, and dogs to train.  I'm thankful for the rhythm of my ranch; consistent mixed with a tang of unpredictable....such a metaphor to life.

Time to live my plan....there are sheep to be shed....and whistles to be practiced......

Seize the Day!

View it on TED

Seize the Day!!!

Once upon a time, there was a PAC 12 college football team by the name of Oregon State University that was scheduled to play an FCS division football team by the name of Eastern Washington.  Though OSU tried to get out of the contract, EWU held them to the commitment and Vegas predicted a three touchdown gap in score at the end of the game with OSU stomping EWU.

Oh wait....this ain't no fairy tale....this really happened!  And so I take a break from all things sheepdog and mental management and take this blog into my life of the mom of a college playing football son. 

Year after year, we've been OSU fans, going to many football games and wearing Orange and Black.  Living in the Willamette Valley, our friends are either OSU fans or they are U of O fans and that rivalry is enough to keep life fun filled with lighthearted bantering all year long.  This year, as we attended the game at Reeser Stadium, home to the OSU Beavers, we were clad in Black and Red with Eastern Washington Eagles wear....our friend still invited us to tailgate and all were wishing Jake well....but you could tell they were sort of feeling part sorry and part proud to kick our butts around the field.



The game began, we were seated at the far end of the end zone in the visitor's seats; not our usual seats by any means.  It was a hot day and we could hardly see the other end of the field....but we were Eagles and that meant something!  Every time we scored, I took a picture......I took lots of pictures!!




That was the final score......OSU 46 Eastern Washington 49.  I could hardly breath for the last 18 seconds of the game as OSU pressed down the field into what they hoped was field goal range. It was so close to going into over time.  What a great day......I was so proud of the Eastern boys, each of them giving all to make their team strong.

This is one of the reasons I love sports.  I love that fact that anything can happen.  Each team was well prepared, both went out and played well, neither gave up or quit.  On this day, the underdog (take that Vegas) won.  Somehow living a story like this gives me great hope. Train with focus, do the work, put in the time with passion, compete and never give up........

Seize the Day!!!

In six short weeks, I'll be back on the road again...this time pushing past Kentucky, further east...all the way to Virginia.  As I sit here and put words to my feelings, this is what I see.....all the way across America.  There are days where I can not believe I am driving...and days where I am very excited for the adventures that are sure to fill trip.

Bella and Nell are all signed up for the 2013 finals.  Gosh, pinching myself, I write again, Bella and Nell are all signed up and in on the first cut for the 2013 finals. 

Me, well I have six weeks to continue to get ready.  Bella has a soft tissue injury that I am working on rehabbing.  It is good to practice the art of letting go. Where I might be drilling and adding in a bit of more drill......stops and open flanks and look backs, oh my.......Bella and I are taking time off from sheep.  Nell and I work a bit...me on reading sheep....her on listening; however, no drilling.  Just sticking to relationship and knowing the finals are not an end destination but just a scenic stop on the road to where I'm headed. 

Then there is me, I have six weeks to get me ready.  I'm continue my whistle work and I'm looking at my brain and thoughts: Mental Management and Toughness.  I love listening to sport psychologist and their take on what keeps the athletes from reaching their full potential. How to really access the most from my brain is a challenge for sure.

So the count down begins......and I'm right back to working on me. Funny how dogs bring perspective to life......all about me becoming if I'm up to the challenge.

Seize the Day!

 


What matters most in life is often viewed as peripheral to the things that we usually focus on.  Passion takes a backseat to production, wellness to working, and balance to busyness.  The old adage that "life is not a dress rehearsal" is so true, and yet we act to the contrary by putting off what is truly important or indulging in things that are not.  On your birthday, stop focusing on your age and start meditation on your life at this exact moment.  How can you make it better?  During the next year, reshuffle your priorities.  Spend more time with family and friends, take care of your body and health by eating well and exercising regularly, and offer to help others in need. Discover what matters most to you, and make your daily life into a true reflection of those ideas, beliefs, and attitudes.

From SparkPeople



Time to seize the year....one day at a time! 

 

Okay, okay I got me a little Tom Petty on the brain today.  Lambing season was Tom Petty too...the waiting is the hardest part.  If life is a country song.....then Tom must be some southern rock country!

I've spent the summer with a few new friends.  Many an evening was spent with Buck Brannaman, Ray Hunt, Tom Dorrance, and his brother Bill.  Ideas were shared and, though based on horses and training, they crossed over the species barrier allowing me to  find much application to dogs; more specifically my dogs.  When I took a bigger step back and really looked at the ideas shared, not so surprisingly they transcended four legged species to include all of life.  The emphasis was on relationship: digging deep and listening to the animal's feedback while presenting opportunity to learn at that animals pace of readiness.  Tom Dorrance simply said, "people are like that too."

"The best thing I try to do for myself is to try and listen to the horse. I don't mean let him take over.  I listen to how he's operating" What he's understanding or what he doesn't understand; what's bothering him and what isn't bother him.  I try to feel what the horse is feeling and operate from where the horse is." ~ Tom Dorrance

When taking a break from these training writers, I filled in time with Deepak Chopra, James Loehr, Barabra  Schulte......people who invested in my mind and how I think. "You attract what you are", Deepak told me. Brene Brown shared about shame resilience and ordinary courage, while Katherine Center shared what she might tell her "buck tooth self at eight", if she could go back in time; "See yourself with kinder eyes."  I step back from my new friends a changed woman, and I ponder what I would tell myself taking the first steps into the world of the working sheepdog back what will be nine years ago this Sunday.  I know the date because that is exactly what I did on my 40th birthday.....I took my first step into the world of the working sheepdog with my frightened, broken mirror of a Snook dog...and it changed my life forever. 

I'd tell myself:  *Sheepdogs are a journey and if I listens with all my senses the dog and sheep will tell the entire story.  * Trying to make things happen by force will lead to no sheds and timing out at the pen or maybe even too wide of an outrun. * Avoiding the hard topics can leave tension that rears its ugly head later in uncontrollable circumstances. * Who I am is not defined by winning nor by beating anybody.  * The quality of my run is not determined by my scores or placement. * Beauty and improvement can be had in a retire, a dq, and a score, but I have to look.  * Beauty and improvement with my dogs might not be seen by other people and that's okay.  * I'm not a good person if I win nor a bad person if I loose. * Win or loose, few people will remember who won Heppner the first round in 2013 nor will they remember who gripped out 5 of 7 runs on the way to the Bluegrass and back in the same year.  * Relationship; deep understanding and working together is what I long for with each of my dogs. * Other people are on a journey of their own and it is none of my business. * When I make other people's journeys my business, my judgment is who I really am.* Instead of passing judgment, I might want to see if I can figure out why a run is going wrong or right. * Mistakes happen, I can work to minimize them but they will happen. * "See myself with kinder eyes" but don't expect others to do the same. * Negativity and criticism is like an infection...the tiniest of seeds can grow into an oak tree over time, especially if fed and watered regularly. * Good and true friends are to be cherished, gather them up and be thankful. * Sheepdog trials are not life...they are just a small part of my life. * Nobody can make me feel any certain way. * Whether somebody agrees with what I do or not, I do not have to accept shame or change to fit in. * When I go to a trial, put down the best run I can for the day...there is greatness in that. * It's good to work at getting better.  * I can't expect my dogs to function at their peak all year long, nor it is fair to expect myself to function at peak all year long. * The better I get, the better my true friends get.  * The dogs that are put into my life are going to teach me something if I am up to learning....be up to the challenge! * Seize every day with my dogs as their lives are short and time flies by; there is no stopping that.

I really believe this; deep in my heart I believe this.  When challenged, I might have to ruminate over and over but I come back to my roots of belief.  Bella and Nell are qualified and signed up to go back to Virginia for the 2013 finals.  My Bella is struggling with a soft tissue injury.  I am working on finding a good and functional rehab plan to see if I can get her all healed up and ready to go.  I also have some work to do in myself with my mental management, toughness training and self discipline.  My recent trials showed me some work I need to sort out.  "Avoiding the hard topics can leave tension", I remind myself.  These dogs and my journey with them, as I've said a few times over, really it is about me finding the beauty and improvement in myself. So with great thankfulness to my dogs and kindness to myself, I soldier on...........I am!

Seize the Day!!!!

Every year, from what feels like the beginning of time, I attend one ASCA trial.  I started my journey into sheepdogs with an all-breed trainer and competing in arena trials.  True confessions, I really enjoyed "them".....the people I met, the trials I attended, and the relationship I developed with my redheaded rescue border collie.  Where distance created much insecurity, the arena trials allowed me to give her great confidence; I was right there for Miss Snook and she liked it.  At one of my first ever AHBA trials, I met the folks from Vaquero Australian Shepherds; finding they were "local", had lots of property and sheep, were pretty darn knowledgeable about stock and handling, and were willing to share all the above plus their friendship. They host an annual ASCA trial and every year I attend.

I took a quick trip down memory lane as I packed up panels and a few other odds and ends to take out in preparation for their trial this year.  Gosh could it have been so long ago when Snook and I were new to "herding" and together we gave the started course a try some seven years back.  That year, the sheep were brought in and I remember they were quite the challenge in the arena, as they were not used to being worked in groups of five nor confined in a field of that size.  I was so scared, I think I laid Snook down most of her run but we got it done and all the sheep were taken off the field ; twenty legs moving through the gate opening.  That evening, Ken asked if I wanted to give Snook a look at ducks as two runs the next day would be more fun. And so the entire duck flock was turned out and Snook was hooked on; the beginning of a long love affair with ducks for Snook. I remember watching people get their awards at the end of the trial and thinking, "Someday, I want to put a WTCH on a dog" (Working Trial Champion)

Time ticks on, Snook got older, new dogs arrived and buckles became the prize for high combined.  Yes, BUCKLES!  Buckles required a dog to be able to work all three stock because, regardless of the scores, a dog had to be entered in sheep, ducks and cows to be qualified for high combined. So I took a quick lesson on cows with Nell and Bella thinking they would be a lot like ducks and all it would take is "hooking on" or at least the knowledge that it was okay to work the cows. 


That year, Bella became the "Most Promising Started" Dog and I received my first buckle.


The next year, I decided to lay off the cows for Nell while Bella seemed to enjoy working them...so Bella continued on.  Maybe Bella, with her cow roots from her L&M breeding, would help me attain my WTCH goal. The stakes were raised as moving to open required penning cows which, after the fact, I realized was a little more difficult than what I had anticipated. 

For 2013, I needed all my advanced runs to WTCH Bella.  Sheep are familiar both of us, ducks are funny and Bella takes them very serious, and then there are cows.  I knew I needed some counseling on my half of the cow run.....little known to most is the fact that I raised registered horned Herefords while growing up and so I have a deep respect for what a cow can do.  I did not want to just get around, I wanted to gain understanding and have a good and decent relationship for my run.  So I packed up Bella and Gyp (who was debuting in started) and headed down to Shane Harley's for a couple of cow lessons.

Funny how life unfolds.  Gyp seemed to enjoy the cows at Shane's once she gained some confidence and started fetching them.  The cows brought out some tendencies in Gyp that I was not consciously seeing on sheep......they are a little more subtle while she works sheep and I manage them. As I left the cow lesson with Gyp, I had a list going of things we needed to look at and work on with the sheep.... developing confidence while driving distances, holding pressure longer, sticking the pressure if need be, and biting a head when called for.  Gyps' cow runs at the trial were very hard on her and as I left, I wondered if I might have damaged some of her confidence and trust in me.  Time will tell and I do plan on taking her back for some more cow time with Shane....not to make her a cow dog but to further develop her confidence on cows that are honest and not sour.

Then there is Bella....Bella, Bella Mozzarella....Bella Mia....Beautiful Bella.  Her cow runs this year at my one ASCA trial were a thing of beauty.  She was the only dog to get any cows in the pen one day, and the only dog to get her Y chute the next.  And while the last year she was on cows, the judge told me I held her back and it was like watching paint dry....this year, Bella worked the cows with the quiet authority that I know would make her cow heritage proud.


It's funny, after her Saturday cow run, her Sunday sheep run was crazy!  All day I fretted and laughed....would it not be an irony if it was her one sheep run that kept her from her WTCH! Oh but it all worked out in the end and Miss Bella is now L&M Belle WTCH.  That plus High Combined "other" breed which indeed earned a buckle.

So what did I learn from all this?  As I continue to read and learn from the horse masters of years gone by, I learned a lot from running my dogs at an ASCA trial.  I learned that both my open dogs have square flanks verbally but not as open on whistles.  I learned that any day working dogs with friends is a good day...although I already knew that one.  I also learned that striving for knowledge and understanding with my partners brings amazing results.  My lessons with Bella on cows allowed her to really work, me to trust her, and her to trust me...which at the end of the day, is what I am striving for with each of my dogs. 

The journey continues and now I watch the Finals list, obsessing, hoping, praying Nell has enough to get through to Virginia.  After the months of trialing and working to keep my head "right", the ASCA trial was a fabulous way to end the year.  Now it is time to get serious........there is work to be done.

Seize the Day!

SEIZE THE DAY!!!!!!

I pulled my young dog from her box in the back seat of the truck and snapped her leash to middle ring on her collar.  She's used to traveling every day in a box with me, all the way to Kentucky and back, the long way around. This day, the second her fourth foot hit the ground the fight was on.  She was excited to be somewhere new; other people's dogs, sheep, fields and lots of new people meant something was going to happen.  The dance began right there, five feet from the truck: she'd pull, I'd correct, she would lay down or come back or just ignore, and depending on her response or lack, I'd correct again. 

There was another young dog in the round pen, working sheep as young dogs do.  In the dog's defense, it really was not chasing; the sheep thought a bit different, as they do with young dogs.  The motion and excitement of the dog created even more fight between me and my youngster.  My mind went back to the first sessions between me and this young Dot.  I used to think Dot likes to fight to get her way, over time I've begun to think she just wants her way.  My challenge would be partnering up with her, my methods of doing this not found in text books or training seminars.  A little of this, a bit of that and a whole lot of consistent.  Give Dot an inch and she'd throw out the best wide-receiver juke to beat me....SCORE!

That is what my clinician saw as my turn opened up.  Dot, leaning away from me at the very end of her leash; not even leaning towards the sheep but definitely away from me.  And there I was, arms crossed and most certainly leaning away from Dot!  I'm thinking, "here we go" and strategizing how I could hand the dog over to the clinician and just watch.  This good and fair clinician pointed this all out to me.

"It seems to go in pieces.  That's how it seems to go even for a horse.  There's a "time" in there; it's just as well not to crowd the horse if he isn't ready for it.  You keep offering, trying to help as much as you can without troubling him too much about it.  Then, there will be a day when it will just clear right up.  I think it's a lot the same with the person." ~ Tom Dorrance

It's funny how, a person can be right where they are at for good reason with a dog that is exactly what a person needs to learn the lessons of life for that time.  I'm also ever thankful for clinicians that understand me and give me those extra pushes heading me into those lessons.  I worked Dot, after a good talking to about letting go and living in the moment.  Letting go of my nerves and past Dot behavior and what she did or did not do on the way to work.  I worked Dot, there in that round pen on lighter sheep than she has ever seen before and while I worked her, I worked me.  I went home that night and read:

"I have helped riders who thought they had a horse problem, but I tell them the horse is having a " people problem". These riders don't seem to realize that the horse thinks he is supposed to do just what he is doing; even though the horse doesn't know why or what it is for. He is sure he is supposed to do it and does all he possibly can to do it.

When this is happening, often the rider feels just as sure that the horse is doing what he is doing because he doesn't want to do what the rider is asking. The rider may completely miss that the horse is doing just what he has been trained to do" ~ Tom Dorrance

I went to sleep thinking on Dot and her pulling on my leash as I walked to the round pen that day.  She was doing just what she was sure she was supposed to do.  I woke up with a new resolve with a smidge of belief in myself.  It was time for me to partner up with Miss Dot; it needed to be a give and take relationship; instead of me thinking Dot needed to partner with me.  When I went to call Dot off that second go, and Dot wondered if she really should keep working, I was able to work from the mindset of partnership.  Amazing how Dot was able to meet me the other half of the way.

Seize the Day!

All quotes taken from True Unity by Tom Dorrance

"The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." ~ Les Brown

I've been giving thought to sorting out what beliefs I hold that limit me.  The thing about limiting self beliefs (LSB's) is, generally, there is not a whole lot of validity to them.  And if they are partially true, the falseness come from the fact that only I allow them to limit me!  I'm working a little program for myself...I really believe I have to identify my LSBs before I can slay them. See these little beliefs are my dragons and I really do not want to keep them around. However, slaying is hard...it is much easier to chase them off to return much like a homing pigeon. 

First, I am sorting out what my goals really are.  End result goals that I are really mine to accomplish. I'm kicking all others to the curb.  Second, I am honestly seeking out my limiting self beliefs and naming them.  This second step is hard.....well, at lest the honesty part is.  LSB can hide themselves as truths....and can also be disguised as excuses.  Third, I am making a "T" account list of the truths and lies of my LSBs.  And then, lastly, I am working a slay program.

A pretty safe example of a Limiting Self Belief would be.......

MY PLACE IS TOO SMALL TO TRAIN DOGS TO BE COMPETITIVE

Step 1:  Goal-run Nell and Bella at the 2013 USBCHA National Finals

Step 2: LSB- My place is too small to train my dogs up to be competitive at the Finals

Step 3: T Account-
left side truth to confirm the LSB:
I have 10 acres
People have told me my place is too small

right side that slays LSB:
I have 10 acres
there are highly competitive handlers that only have 10 acres or less
mentors have shown me how I can train on 10 acres and be very effective
I can haul out to get bigger outruns when needed
I can visit friend's who have bigger places to work/rent sheep
I can work for sheep people to get bigger work
I can train understanding close at hand before stretching it out
I can work my dogs through tension of being close to sheep
stop comparing personal situations to other's (focus on my choice)
stop allowing other's comments/opinions to foxtail their way into my head (be a duck)


Step 4: Make a plan

I'm now making my plan that includes a bit of mental retraining.  Some of my stinking thinking, muscle memory is quite strong, or maybe more the homing instinct of the chased-off dragons is strong. 

I find putting all this down in writing helps me to stay to my plan on days like today.  Today, after a very successful trial weekend but not much sleep, crappy eating and a LONG drive home.....I might entertain the idea of taking a break.  But then, I look at my real goals and plan of action and I know, I just need to take some time for self care.  I think I'll go make a green juice and head back to bed....NOT. Instead, I will be thankful for my slice of Heaven knowing it is enough, then I'll make a green juice and

Seize the Day!

*  an explanation offered in defense of some fault I don't find this definition from dictionary.com to be how I define "excuse".  My personal list of excuses are those things that I am not willing to see as "changeable".  I do have a small list of personal 'go to' excuses.  When it comes to training and running dogs, I have been sorting out "excuse" versus "assessment" as I look at my progress and goals.  When discussing 'evaluation' or "assessment" it is easy for some to think diagnosing is excuse making.  However, right, wrong, or indifferent......I assess why things don't go as planned and use these assessments to train through to the other side.  I like taking my assessments to lessons; getting feedback from trainers I respect to see if my skills of observation are getting better and if my plan of treatment needs tweaking.  For example, my Gyp is tight on the top end of her outrun.  I've been pondering opening her up a bit.  After a lesson with Gyp and  watching a friend sort out another dog...I'm working on finding a balance of bringing Gyp into the sheep and helping her work through covering from inside the pressure point in addition to helping her sort top end distance.  I'm seeing greater understanding in her and she is turning into a very nice and handy dog.  Will it help at trials?  Only trialing will tell....time and miles and miles and miles.  I've been doing a few other things to encourage good approach and understanding. I've also been diligent to make sure the sheep don't come running when I send her while also making sure the sheep are not always up against a fence on bigger outruns. With each of my dogs, I find myself thinking about the "why's" of what they are doing.  From this I try to make a plan to help them gain understanding, confidence and trust in me.  For me, if I only opened Gyp up without working her through covering and approach from inside the pressure point, I would leave her hanging without tools when situations came up that required that particular skill and experience.  I think this might be synonymous with "ground work" with horses.  A trainer friend of mine told me that he likes to put his dog in all sorts of situations so when they get to a trial, there is nothing the dog has not seen and worked through.  Sometimes when I trial, I see holes in my "groundwork" with my dogs...each different because of the different strengths and weaknesses the dogs bring, and I bring, to our relationship.  When I see something, that I thought we had worked through, rear it's head at a trial.....I am thankful so I can go back and do more "groundwork".  On my trip to Kentucky and back, each of my dogs had moments where they told me, "I trust you in some situations but not this one." and, with the help of mentors, I am going back and working on them trusting me and themselves more; further out, in situations that are new, on sheep that are different, no matter terrain, weather, or time of day.  Where we have come from is important to me, but I don't expect it to be important to anyone else including my mentors.  Much like, where I have come from is important to me.  I don't make excuses or blame any more, but I am aware of muscle memory triggers and am working at weakening those while strengthening the functional muscles that need more memory in my life. This journey really is about me...which makes me laugh.  I love having friends that share their journey; love learning from them, seeing things different through their eyes.  There are days when I blog that I feel very vulnerable.....the moment the letters are typed out, putting my thoughts into words which often are not put together to convey to each reader "exactly" what I mean for them to say.....knowing as well, as with all of life, there are those who will twist and tangle with glee;  I come back to knowing....this is about me.  I blog to remember where I have come from; assessing progress and making a plan to become more of me.  One of my sincerest wishes is that those who read what I share are encouraged to keep to their journey of becoming them!  Seize the Day!