Life's crawling faster and faster...

In just a period of 4 days.. I fought 50% of the war..
total of 3 paper down.. 1 on Friday, and 2 on Monday.

Yesterday I just finished 2 paper in 1 day... 1st time in my 3 years of war plan.
9-11.30am Maths 4... and 1-3.30pm Strategic Management.

The weekends have been the worst of my life, struggling with that "practice crazy" maths and the "facts crazy" Strategic Management of Product Development, although all the "war plan" time slots (for the weekend plans) have been overrun by crazy and the "mini achievable goals" always ends me up with late lunch such as 2pm, when it's supposed to motivate me to work and eat at 11.30pm or something.. (it ended up un-achieved ya...)
and dinner at 8pm instead of 6pm.. for the fact that if I don't go down the canteen I won't have anymore food -.-

It's amazing to note that I only slept from 3-7am (4 hours) the previous night, and I can last through the morning and afternoon paper, with a calm enough and relax brain. (or am I too tired to get hyped up..)

Anyway, I shall note down the war plan for "survival" here and compare it to the future results..

Maths have 4 topics, and 4 questions per topic.

2 years ago, the plan ends up like this....
just grab whatever I can find in the war store, war-cried "this is SparTaAAA~!!!" and went for war....
results - end up with bullet and guns, without foresight tip (used to aim at target). Cannot shoot...
SBO have grenade, poncho, toggle rope, water bottle... with no water...
wear No 4 green camouflaged body clothing, wear black boots, camouflaged face, but forgot the headgear... end up trying to borrow something to wear.. anything will do.. because "this is SparTaaAAA....."

but....

my friend is a commando. (red beret)
(my China friend's knowledge is too "high" for me to understand anything)

which army idiot will go to war with a "target" placed on the head...

So I ended up RNIP...
Resting NOT in Peace.

This year.
it's the same war, by the same warlords, fought by the same type of soldiers...

It's World War 6 for me in NTU already.. am "old bird" war survivor to last this far..

And this time.

I didn't go to the armory to draw my rifle...
I wore my No 4 clothing.. and I brought my green jockey cap in my camo pants.
I packed my SBO... with just 2 bottles of FILLED water bottle only.

And I went to war.

This time.
It's the same type.. 4 questions.

I manage to use "unarm combat" to knock 1 out.. (Laplace Transform 100% done with 95% skills)
I concussed another with my water bottle "bomb" (Fourier 60% done with 80% knowledge)
I used my smelly jockey camp to "shock" the other out abit (Partial Differential Equation 50% done with 30% trained war instinct)
and the last one was so scared till he decided to escape...

okay actually the fact is that I don't have anything up my No 4 sleeve to attack anyway..
Complex No is ZERO percent done. Totally 0%. The 5% knowledge of "wearing the No 4" is not even a combat skill to begin with.

My actual warplan (this time):
to be, at least, able to do 2.5 questions out of 4, only. Instead of preparing ALL, and ended screwing everything up... without screw drivers in the pencil case...

Now I just hope that everything turns out fine bah... should be finer no matter what.. compared to the last World war 4 (Year 2, Sem 2).

................ I didn't plan to win the war.
........................ I just want to "survive" this.

Anyway, when I returned from my 2 battle grounds...
I was so awake...

I must have overshot my limit but I knew I must try to give it some rest..
but when I try to sleep for 1 hour, I can't fall asleep..

When I "woke up".. or should I say leave the bed..

I got emo again. (see I knew it -.-)
I miss peacetime...

Just came back from 1 week of Tainan, a place of heavenly bliss, and back to the sudden harsh reality that I signed on as a hell soldier..

I miss my fun caring angels over there...
I hate being alone in this war....



it's pathetic to even "need" a physical note to constantly remind myself not to "drift" off.. but I guess I am really pushing my limits.
......

ya, I think it's time to sleep more, and exercise again....

hahaha -.-

It seems like everyone needs some place, or someone, to "complain" about.

I think.... inside of me... I just hope that I can have someone who can ask "最经过得这么样？"

and my direct reply is "不好。"

without the need to think much, because of the fact that my response won't carry negative effects on the person (which is quite impossible if this "thing" is a human...)

Put it another more "technical" way, the criteria of the person, for me to be able to do that to him/her, must be:

- after hearing this straight blunt reply, he/she won't be too emotionally affected by my "sad" life, and won't put in "too much" effort to try to make me happy.. at the expense of his/her time of their life.

So if I know this person doesn't have this attribute, most probably I will look all normal...

hmm.. this person.. I think if I manage to find, this someone can be defined as a "soul mate" right... but maybe it's either a heartless one... or one who have super high EQ (+experience) and able to counsel me, without much personal effort on his/her side.

But then, chances seem like 0.1%.
-.-"
Or I should just look for some 1st class honours Psychology friend lol~!

But I know the best, is still, to have a heart which is able to conquer all adversities, and being able to treat all "不好" as normal (as in the heart really feel that way, not just being 坚强 to take it hardly).

Despite all these reflections, I am still quite affected.. I guess it's only normal since I am still learning to be a human.

maybe to remind myself with this motivational quote....

老天爱笨小孩啦。don't worry :)

My Singaporean friend who went Taiwan with me wrote this message on December 2 at 2:07pm :

是时候收拾一下零散的心情。。。
撒了一地的零零散散，不知从何下手。。

I do feel the same bah.. since I went from having lots of friends to work together, play together, eat together in Taiwan, then when I came back here, it's almost studying alone, eating alone, exercising along, most of the times. But sometimes it's not like I really want to be alone, I can always go find some of my friends, but sometimes, it's just not a good environment to study, cos.. let say it this way, the number of distractions (n) = contributed by the person with the shortest attention span.

So the number of distractions = no of ppl X n.

Plus the small table, other people walking around etc.. initial plan of studying together, so that we can ask each other, usually ends up with even lower productivity of studying alone...

anyway, to drift back, I replied this (copied and paste it, hope I (and perhaps those interested to learn as well) can review it back in future, if I ever "forgotten" and encounter this "problem" again.

我刚收拾了一下，了解了自己不少 :P
这里那里加起来，也有半天浪费了吧，但也好过接下来的日子都这样像Eugene的脸 (-.-)" 一样过。但经过今天，希望接下来会更充实！
考试后再见！
不管什么感情（友情，爱情，亲情　或什么情），它来匆匆，去得也匆匆。唯一人能适应的方法，不是靠坚强的态度，而是象水一般的随和。也就是要有一刻能容易放下，真正能看得开的心态。珍惜现在眼前对我们好的每一个人，而如果他们渐渐的消失，也是没办法的事，人生还是要过，何必太伤感，但有缘，还是会再见，没缘，也不要太强求。
The only constant in life is change. So I shall get a life, and change with it :)

Anyway, what I am trying to say for this 不是靠坚强的态度:
have more meaning: 再坚强的态度，也是会有脆弱的时刻。压力，睡眠，或者其它的事都随时随刻会导致"悲剧"发生，不能突然在最没准备就 cui 吧。（exams period leh)

although I think I manage to solve the problem with being "alone" without meeting much people (that I missed seeing), it's rather late since it's so near to exams (2 days to 1st paper) before I stabilize my mindset.. but better late than never~

With that, I hope I can survive through now...
like how I did for the past 3 years...
alone.

but this time, even stronger... I hope.
:)

I am not a attention seeker...

but seems like a part of me do hope I have the right attention given to me.. and I guess the only type of person who knows, is someone who have so called "Piscerean" attributes.

Funny how emo this may look like. But I should be alright. Since it's "predicted"
It's time I should be exercising, the last run was on Sat.. a friend ask to join in for a run tonight, if not, I would have ran yesterday (Monday)..

But I know that, I can't live this, in a way, alone, for the rest of life to come.

Or I should seek to become a monk...
not fun la... :P

tomorrow, I am getting help from my Singaporean Maths major friend... since my China friend's Maths is seriously too high level for me to understand any "basic"...

I hope I won't appear too stupid tomorrow -.-"

(until now, I do not know why I am still looking down on myself for not being able to conquer Maths... although I do tell myself that no one should be look down upon for the inability to learn something despite trying their best... but then.. I still feel really stupid for not being able to even "pass" for trying my best... ok I ought to learn something out of this university experience... hai.. )

*out of oil... took 5 naps today and feel all tired. 30 mins each.. and slept 8 hr last night...

there's something wrong with my body repair system liao lah.. :(
God, Buddha, Allah.. give me some light..

1. Morning wake up drink cereal+oatmeal, with creative flavours of my own: Milo, horlick, ginseng cereal, Brown rice cereal, Plain cereal... but still, it's just cereal...
2. notes.
3. eating the same vegetable stall below my Hall 16.
4. laptop to research on summarized points on notes..
5. Facebook..
6. Dinner..
7. Supper: creative flavours with "corn flakes" or "Coco crunch" or "Banana nut crunch" etc.. it's may look quite expensive but compared to the tastier $1++ cup noodles, this is healthier and cheaper, and require so much less time to prepare.

Nothing much in life to "look forward" on.. hai.. and not being able to remember the notes properly doesn't seem any motivating as well. anyway, every night, I can't really have my "8 hrs" of rest when I am waking up after 5-6 hr automatically, and feel tired throughout the day...


Chocolate (on right): to make myself happier so I can study
Centre: I am getting sick from the lack of rest since I can't sleep enough...
Jin Du Nian Ci An Chuan Pei Pi Pa Gao (left): To neutralize the effect from the chocolate...

As if I am rich today sia..
Cost $5.90, $7.90, and $8.80

But I can't get sick and too "emo" to prevent knowledge from entering now sia..
Hope this "retail therapy" works..
(as if this can be called a therapy -_-)

Just bought this as well when I went out of Pulau NTU, to get my more "needed" purple pencil leads for Summary making.. if not, I can't find a better reason to go out of NTU.. pathetic life -.-"

jia you..
(to myself)

___________________________________________________
9.27 pm

Just woke up from a 1 hr nap, which is supposed to be a 19 mins one. Ended up feeling sad when I woke up.. I think I may be suffering from some "depression" condition sia.. whatever the reason, I just hope that I can still control it...

went for dinner, alone.. food just taste as bad as lunch..

After that, I decided to drop by to visit one of my closer China friends near me, and I didn't expect that I will end up "digging" out some happy news from him.

"我找到我的一百分了” (*grins)

sharing your woes is half the sorrow.
Sharing your joy is double the happiness.

Have heard of these 2 lines many times, but I didn't truly felt it before~
At least for now, I can feel the happiness (for him), and I guess tonight I will be "powered" by this happiness to work till 12am tonight.

Oh.. and not to forget to go for a quick jog too even when I feel ok :P
got to make it a habit :)


Life is such a interesting journey to be experienced, be it good or bad.
Treasure every moments...
since everything is... effectively,

"once in our life".

I keep forgetting... exercising produces endorphin...

and..
I couldn't sleep enough for the past 4 nights... and I feel just like my 3rd party "lousy" battery.. charging it is super fast, and power loss is as fast too.. through the day I have been feeling super lousy and too irritate with myself to do any revision..

but anyway, the thought of aiming to sleep at 11pm tonight does makes me excited, for buddha knows what reason.. but I shall test the hypothesis, that no matter how early/late I sleep, I will wake up at 8am nowadays.

Provided I won't 失眠 till 2 am instead tonight -.-"


a emo kid who doesn't wants to be emo...
must solve this problem :)

Not some lame post again. This is exactly what the title says. Uber cool. And it's exactly the how the thing works in the real movie.

Ok here goes:

On a Wed morning, I work up at 7.55am, and last night I slept at about 1.45am (total of about 6 hr 10 min sleep). Woke up feeling exhausted (as usual again), so I went to make my Power Combo drink: 1 pack of Milo + 3/5 pack of coffee + cereal. After attending a lesson from 8.30-10 am (lessons ended early), I decided that I am too tired to do anything, so I planned a 1 hr afternoon nap from 11.30-12.30pm, after lunch. Just nice that I am hungry so I went ahead to eat first, before coming back up to sleep, and sleeping with a full stomach will induce sleeping as well.

Ok the first 1 hr of nap from 11.30-12.30pm was perhaps a good "normal" power nap, since I felt that time flies, but am still quite awake I guess, since I can still feel my "strong" heart beating (and vibrating my whole body), and my ear piece in my ears, preventing my own head from turning left and right. I've put on the earpiece, because some workers started drilling the whole building down while I was trying to sleep. At 12.30pm on the dot, I can notice the hp's alarm "vibration" (with the alarm which cannot be heard since I am with my earpiece). So maybe I am sleeping relatively "lightly". I hypothesize that this is the "awake and calming" stabilizing of the brain effect from the coffee.

I reached out for the handphone, switch the alarm off, and went ahead my "overtime" nap (as usual, to "give in" to my body's need to recharge itself more). Then that's when the fun begins...

Next hour, from 12.30-1.18am (to be more exact)...
I have been "incepted".
By my own mind and body.

The head piece is in the ears as usual, playing my favourite calming piano piece from Yiruma - From the yellow room, and just like what it's for in the movie, this is the only "audio" sensory that can get through to the real "soul" that's (either trapped/deliberately placed) in the dream.

Of course, I have experience of the body "trapping" myself in, so I thought I am awake and doing things, but in actual fact, I am still in the "dream World", wasting my effort and brain cells doing ZERO work output things (and wasting time and not recharging as well)

Ok back to the topic, I was trying to say how I knew I was incepted...
the first time, I "woke up", and I tried to remove my earpiece. Then something weird happened.
the music is still playing in my ear with the same loudness~! At first, in my "clear state of mind", I thought the mp3 player must be playing "real" loud for me to even hear it after I pull out the earpiece. so I went ahead to check the Volume controls, etc.. anyway, after a while, I realised something is still wrong with the world, then I realised about... the inception.

Before I talked about how vivid the stories are within, shall just state out something even more intriguing....
I have "removed" my ear piece a total of 2 times, in the dreams, to "get off" the bed, only to realised that the music is still playing. This mean.....

I have been incepted for 3 levels!?

remove earpiece for the first time to wake up, dropped out from 3rd level to the 2nd, and remove 2nd time, drop from 2nd level to the first.....

then finally the last time, which is the real one.

A total of 3 levels by the body, a way to keep my body "on the bed".
remarkable, of Jiahe's mind and body.

Anyway, I felt "healthier" after this TOTALLY...
I can breath normally (with no short/lack of breathe, feeling like I am running some race when I doing things like reading lecture notes, or using the laptop for any purpose). I can focus now (am saying that all the previous times, I can't focus at all, so the things I said and do, CAN'T be processed (because the CPU have already overheated and broken down).

Ok going to drift off to write more of other things before writing the scenario again (ok after all these years of writing, the reason is clear to me now, on why I am always "able" to write SO LONG posts, even when I started off just wanting to write a "summary" haha. I just don't want to lose any details, or things, like a Garung guni, keeping EVERYTHING which may be of use)

To skip the "proving", just moved down to the 2nd line.
________________________________
The things that I do, such that I knew that I wasn't doing the "right" thing since my CPU of the brain is considered "down", yet I can't do anything about.

1. Year 4 NTU student, can't recall the standard steps to check out to print the notes in 4 slides, and forgetting about using the "collate" function to print for 4 friends. Friend reminded me not to be too "stressed". (yes of course I know, lack of sleep, even if I want to make it sleep, it can't)
~2 weeks back, after the recess week, 4 quiz upcoming.

2. Last night, when I was talking (forced by circumstances to talk back) to a group of people, I sense that every line that I say, wasn't the standard "right" things I will usually say when I was Jiahe~
I can't do anything about it, yet can only remember it..
They are asking me questions, and commenting about my camera, since one of the asked for my help to take a "resume shot" for his module. Freshie ask Senior, can't 见死不救 mah. So just do a simple setup, then started shooting for him. But in the end, they brought his 拉拉队 along, at 12.50am..
After the shoot, they say that they are curious on how I process my photos. So I say that they can come in my room... and that was like a super wrong move sia.. I got too many lame things for them to "notice". Like a paparazzi, they scanned through my whole room and commented. My large store of food (for the nights), my laptop wallpaper, and I am quite sure they seen the desktop noticeboard that's filled with own words to "talk" to myself, about what I can do to cope with "problem". But then, they decided not to continue asking bah.. dotz to the max. (if I have more sleep, I would have recalled about all these before even asking them to come in).

ok, shall just end abruptly here. Point made.
_________________________________

Back to the dreams.

after escaping 3rd level, I can't really recall now..
in the 2nd level, I was back in my old home place area, in the market along the roadside. Saw 2 friend, the female friend said that she is going home, the male friend only made a special guest appearance.. did nothing -_- Ok, I guess I've forgotten much details in the 2nd level as well... just like how the movie explained, when I move from levels to level, we can't really "understand" it too well, so we'll foolishly lose ourselves within...

In today's psychology point of explanation, they say that dreams happened very fast, and if we can remember, we can only remember the last few moments ONLY.

So I supposed here's the "last few moments".
The 1st level (fresh).

After I notice a trend in waking up "with music" still in my ears, I quickly decided to do something "lame", just to prove to myself that I knew I am still in a dream. I grabbed my bolster, and went out of the room. The whole hall floor plan changed, like how the "architect" in the movie made it as planned. The people are planted in as well, and sadly, I don't know any one of them now... no fun, can't "test" them out. Wanted to disturb them with things I will not normally do, and see their reactions, to see if they fit my memories of them.

Anyway, the whole Testing thing failed, I ended up eating some random steamboat of food, made up of 3 random food such as small dried shrimps, big prawns, and.. 1 more thing.. Anyway, it must be the "prawning gathering" that I missed last Saturday, since I don't feel like killing prawnies for BBQ dinner.

Ok, for the last time, I wake up, with super heavy eye lids, to remove my ear piece.
and this time, no more music.

The time: 1.18pm.
With 2 sms.

I realised that it's only when I am able to get the brain (mind) to be in a total state of relaxation, before all these can be done... most probably the mind secretes hormones which allow the mind to be in a "fight/flight" mode, or a rest mode. Getting stresses cause 1 to lose sleep. So in future, I hope I can find a way to have more "control" over it.

Anyway, I guess today's gonna make full use of the "productive" state of the body to do something useful.

It's been so long since I stopped going for wushu training because of school work.. today's the last one. So I'm going to go visit my 江湖好友 before we all 闭关修炼 for our individual school wars. But since I used so much time to type this post, and also the fact that I've manage to "charge" my battery properly after so long, I decided to go later, so shall do more work first, then go for training.

Ok that's the plan.

By the way, all these written are meant for myself to read, so some points are written so short that it may not seems "understandable", if you are really reading so throughly and carefully until the end of this line of word.. so..

don't spread about this blog.
It's here, just for entertainment.
And if you happen to have the same problem encountered, hope some of my methods help you as well.

And these "lengthy rubbish" will certainly be the most helpful, for Jiahe, when he needs to read back :P



Inception 是真的。
LOL~!

Today I threw away all my work, after my sec school group of friend asked me if I am free to chill at MBS skypark.

I must say, I really enjoyed going out... I guess old friends are the best to meet.

Singapore really changed a lot...
Or maybe it's because I stayed on Pulau NTU for too long.
But no matter which is the case, I think I should come out more often, and meet the same old few friends.



Forcing myself to be alone just because of work is really not good for health..
I think I shall unlock myself more often as a monk by providing myself with keys.

ha.
Then I will become a monkey.

Since I am dying here, there's emotion states that are worth noting down, so next time when I read back, I can recall and understand haha :)

1. Feel totally irritated with everything, easily - Time to sleep (just go sleep)

2. Rate of knowledge in rate of knowledge going out

3. Prolong period of time forcing the mind to continue will lead to" burnt" out ="heck care" everything. And at night, we will just dream of anything, that we like to do so much (eg: go out, have a holiday, gathering, take photo etc).

And those who got over this limit and also got too cracky, they may just do some other weird things: for example, steal, getting angry at people for no reason, go against law, etc.. because the mind have set the mode to "heck care" mode.

Lucky me, the higher HQ "Jiahe" (maybe I should try to name it: department of self control and discipline) have been monitoring the smaller "jiahe", so he is still... able to write down all these things, without much damages. anyway, this monitoring leads to another fun discovery, which is written in point 4.

4. just now 27 Oct 10, Wed afternoon 11.15am, when I just planned 30 min nap, it overshot to 2 hours - whatever...
First 30 min, alarm sound off - first reaction from "jiahe" => ignore. So "Jiahe" gave in (knew "I" cannot take it already, so better follow what "I" wants)

So next 30 min, the mind relax till (don't know how to name this state)... the state when you can almost feel that you are going into deep sleep (or dream land), and I feel like one is able to control what to "dream" (think) of. The first thing that came to my mind:

go out.. "have a tour!".

The process repeated 2 times! Although it was not quite a success since I didn't have a sound mind to control where I really "want to go", at least, I had another fun 2nd hour in dream land, and NOT DOING ANYTHING RELATED TO SCHOOL WORK". Anyway, the 2nd time, I planned to meet some friends by trying to plan myself in some area, hoping to "bump" into them. But the mind got confused, and I can't even place myself in a "logical" place -_-. Anyway, I should have written this as soon as I wake up, cos now I have forgotten like.. 70% of the details.. What a waste haha!

And before I end off, shall end with a line.
According to all my learnings, this line will summarize what is happening to NTU students:

The smart gets smarter, and the stupid get stupid-ier.


Explantion: The smart doesn't need to study too much, and when they study, they are in the "relax" state of mind since they knew that if they study, they will understand fast so no worries. And after that, they have time to relax and play. This is the best condition of the mind to study, for all types of people in general. But... the difference for the "weaker" students..

when they study, it takes so long, and they don't understand. And because it's so long, the mind gets tired more (normal even for smart people), and they start to learn slower, on top of not being able to finish their learnings. And when they drag, they don't even have time (or mood) to go relax. And even those "naps" and sleeps at night become more of a necessity, then a enjoyment. And all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.. in this case, Jack is the "brain". And if Jack is dull, it won't be "recharged" easily for the next study, so in a way, they continue to spiral downwards, and got into the "dumb cycle".

As a "hardworking" engineer in the making myself, shall just conclude what should be done, with a graph haha :P

Say, the number of people and the level of smartness, follow a normal distribution curve below.


Of course, so much being said, I must be belonging to some "group" before I label them. The solution to balance up (a little), and maybe make life better for those "stupid" people.... lies in the solution below.


be able to meet smarter (and helpful) people.
Glad that I am lucky to meet 1, a "Chinese" version of einstein.

Shall just work hard for now.
Ok, 2 more quiz this Fri.. insurance is not really covering me for now.

Ok, back to work (after 2 hours of nap, and 1 hour of writing..)

Time... well spent :P

The "do you best, and everything will be fine" theory doesn't applies to all NTU students...

So there's nothing I can do when I falls into this catagory when there's 4 quizzes next week...
It's more like I am studying for my final term exams like that, and it's becoming worst as this period is even shorter for me to prepare... and with the 2 project assignments to bug me now and then....

= CUI

Boo hoo... life's #$%^&*(&^%$#@

Something that I posted to a friend on Facebook, and I guess I will need it again if I forget in future, so shall just archive it here to help myself in future..

Friend's wall:

Feel like quitting school. Meaningless. There's so much more I can do with my life then being trapped in this stupid paper chase

My reply:

you can try a method that I am using now..
for those so called "factual modules", try to conquer them with short term goals, eg: 1 chapter to be completed every hr or something. so every time you complete 1 on time, you gets motivated a litt...le, so you can at least have strength to continue to the next chapter, feeling like you have achieved something :)

Start with all easier modules first. Then with those "harder" ones, can try using the method below.

For modules that requires understand, and most probably will end up taking so much time that we end up learning nothing => look for help from smarter friends. Don't waste time studying alone haha.
all the best *** **!! (by the way, I am also struggling like siao for the past 3 years, but manage to endure and survive till now! You can do it!! I have been thinking just like you for the past 3 years as well, but it's because of people like Pak and Co, that's what makes life in NTU stayable)

Getting more and more post here in a short period of time.. and this isn't good...

from previous years of data:

more post = more stress

I may be going near the stage of burning out.. sianz. And not to mentioned that I have not even started tackling the 2 killer modules for this recess week yet.. 1st killer quiz coming Mon hohoho.

This is the moment in history to note down.
All the best Jiahe hahahaha.

I will live to see this post and Laugh Out Loud and say "I'm so glad I am still ALIVE hahaha~!@#@%^%

A friend who knew that I have been caving for the past 3 days (Sun-Tues), decided to visit me and study together. ha so nice :)
Had brunch, then study till 5 pm. Was working throughout, but as predicted, work was still done at a turtle speed. In that period, 11 am till 5 pm, only manage to complete chapter 4 of a module called Biomaterials (out of 21, means 17 more to go), which is supposed to be complete within 2 days, and today is the 2nd, according to war plan.. also to mention that the 2-3.30 pm online meeting for another project does eat off time and energy as well.

anyway, after my friend left and I also went back up to my room, I decided to nap a while. Dunno why, but this body of mine decided to feel emo.. so I can't even nap for 25 min. After "waking up" from my bed (lie there emo-ing), I became too emo to even start work. What a interesting reaction from this "body" I am living in -_-
(when I write all these down I am temporary using a backup "hard disk" (brain) to run safe mode, so chances of resolving this mental "bug" is higher, instead of being in that emo state.
Wow I thought that's quite coOl for me to be able to do that!)

then I decided to just go for a jog, despite the haze. (2.2km half a round NTU. It did help bah. Research shows that exercising produces Endorphin so I felt better :))

then more things to note:

1. I was able to run super fast for the first 1 km - Don't know if it's because of the built up stress within that's making my body want to "release" or what.

2. Had 6 pimples in a roll, first time having such a outbreak, so most probably I am really stress despite trying to curb it all down.

3. It has been, maybe about 1 month, since I went for a jog. So a exercise is long due to "purge" the stress by-products? maybe I should really set a time regime to go for exercises despite having "no time".

Anyway, I was wondering if this recess week's plan was a bit too much for this body of mine to take.. maybe I should just cut some slack.. go out? But work really cui-ing at a breakneck speed even as I type down this entry, but even if I dedicate this time to furious studying, it won't be productive as well. (5 hours 1 chapter..??)

And after encountering a human, at least someone that I want to see just now, show that I really really want to go meet some friends and have fun.. maybe I should just go out for this Fri's gathering?

Hai.. maybe I should.
(hello.. it's recess week please go out....)

Anyway, I really thank my friend for his presence :)

Just trying my luck when I check out the S/U option in my NTU studentlink account...



How I wish I can, at least S/U away the 2 major prescribe electives on my list...

The 7 core modules are killing me....
Zzzz -_-"

I just realised that whatever I see, be it the notes, the clocks, the desktop wallpapers, the handphone reminders, the notice boards.. whatever.. are just constant reminders to ask me to do something...

to work....

For school work.

Life isn't really meaningful, when jiahe is restricted in this part of Jiahe's world bah...

I recalled a friend using a picture that I took, showing a happy looking group photo, as a Facebook profile, and I also saw that even the desktop wallpaper have another different, but still happy looking group photo. Comparing to this friend, I think I am lots more "emo" bah.. Facebook profile pic only contains myself.. hidden behind my camera (I don't like putting my face actually..), Desktop wallpaper is just asking me to "wake up my idea"... am wide awake please... just cannot face the fact that I am learning those supposedly logical engineering stuff now...




Anyway, shall just use today to tell myself that, I am not alone.. just endure pass this stage again and I will be stronger.



The new desktop wallpaper.

At least now and then, there's still some fun happening around me isn't it :)

Anyway, I realised that a a blog that I named "emo girl" was deleted off already.. I hope she's doing alright now bah..


Instead of praying for less work...
pray for more strength to conquer them all.

Summary of things happened, and things that are going to happened.

Basically, the last previous post on the method to sleep.. was still quite a failure, if stress are too overwhelming.. at the very least, letting the brain rest (doing no brain activity) for like 30 min to an hour will increase the chances of letting the brain go into sleep (not deep ones) using that method.

And it's recess... but this time, a war plan is up............

For the past 3 years, a war plan is only up just 1 month before exams.. and this time, if this is up during recess... meant that things are turning out real bad..



The desk, which had 2 clocks now.. a war plan, 3 notes to remind me... then a timetable of 3 (need to plan time for FYP mate for meetups as well, then 1 more for fun...)

The war plan is a 8 days plan for recess... and it's not including project meetups yet... so based on my super experience in Pulau NTU... it WILL fail... which makes a "war plan" even sadder.

who goes to war, knowing that they'll lose...
At least... I've time for a coffin to be prepared now, so I can RIP bah..

Some notes:
1. was "lucky" to get selected to go for some taiwan workshop.. yeah... totally sponsored... yeah... it's on week 11.. yeah.... week 14 is exams... yeahEe....

2. after recess week there's 4 quizzes... and 3 of them are Maths based... yeahEee.... Engineering logistic = Statistics = yeahee... deformable solid = lots of equations = yeahEee... and Maths.. yeahEEeee......

The war plan for recess...



And with this... I've to turn myself into a "caveman" again... means no friendship interaction at all... and minimal human interactions....

sadly turned down CAC FOC seniors meetup.. a hall K session with the new friends, a Hall BBQ, a Wushu training (and future ones as well...) and a wushu 1st gathering after the training... a wushu 2nd "big" gathering... maybe a not appear for a "already paid $10" Canon Photo Marathon on next week's Sat... and not going home for the weekends....

3. And I am cutting off ALL of my wushu trainings for the semester as well...

4. no photography stuff too...

Okay this whole journey thing is yet another "training".. I must not die just yet. 修行 bah..

Be strong Jiahe.

Since school started, most of the nights I have been so fed up with trying to relax so that I can sleep, that I always ended with a morning getting more irritated that I have a lousy night dreaming of totally stupid things which are mostly absurd.

I've realised since long time ago, that sleeping is the key to be able to control everything: the mood, the concentration level, the memory, and everything else that need to make life correct (or in good control)



It's all a cycle.
If any one of the points is affected, it affects all the rest after it (and also back to it).

so if it's a good cycle, it's a good one. (when all happens to be all well and within control)
If' it's a vicious cycle.... sadly, it will just get worst...

So here I am, coming in here to write down something that's derived from a nap that I took, 45 mins ago. The result that shows that a sleep/rest is a good one: The period appears "short", 30 min appears as if it's just 5 mins. (and if it's a 8 hours, it may appeared like 30 mins just passed).

Another way to show how a "deep sleep" feels like: a General Anesthetic (whole body, for my case, removal of 4 wisdom tooth at 1 time) will feel like, you just closed your eyes, and when you opened, everything's done.

The Art of Relaxation, from the most stressed up mind possible in Lim Jiahe....
Old defination
(learnt from reading, listening to others, anyone, and compiled):

Defocus and concentration on nothing, just on a simple idea of relaxing, or sleeping. When your mind started to drift to think of things, pull it back, to think of something simple; eg: sheeps. or a white dot. (of course there's more, shall just keep this short)

But the negative results (so far): The mind sometimes spend too much energy trying to concentrate on "not drifting" that it usually ended up stressed, and when the mind cannot take it anymore, the flood gate of thoughts opens again... and here comes all the stored up "mess" from blocking it, just to be "temporary" away from this dam of thoughts and placing ourselves in a unknowingly, "forced out" state called "relax".


The new Defination:
(which just worked, and worth testing in future!)

The mental state of being able to accept, anything. Seriously anything, that happens.

I call it mental acceptance.

Firstly, we can forget all about all the things that we have learnt from yoga, art of deep breathing, concentration on just a simple sheep counting method, etc.

We just have to accept.

If the television in the living room is loud.... yeah... it's loud....
If there's work left to do... ya... I agree...
If the wind is blowing you... ok... it's the wind...
If the family below is quarrelling... ya it's normal...
If my heart is beating too loudly.... hmm... ok....
Hmm... if I am breathing.... I am breathing...

If this doesn't seems to make sense to you (if you are reading)

Compare it to the following:

If the television in the living room is loud.... why can't they be more considerate..?
If there's work left to do... nevermind, I sleep first, later when I wake up I will do it.. so meanwhile just sleep... (a "not so useful" method to bluff the mind that it's okay to just sleep first)
If the wind is blowing you... it's too cold, should I prepare the blanket just next to me? (thinking too much again)
If the family below is quarrelling... wah every night also like that...
If my heart is beating too loudly.... it's shaking me too hard. (getting a bit irritating?)
Hmm... if I am breathing.... why this DEEP breathing method is not making me sleep now after 1 hour :(

Of course not all of these are actual scenarios happening to me, just to illustrate some points. Depending on the amount of sleep I manage to catch the night before, and the amount of stress, my thoughts can go out of control, as my brains "automatically" links everything up and turns my thoughts into a nightmare, a jail which locks me within my brain, and "tortures" me till I wake up, feeling all tired... the beginning of the "vicious cycle".

Yup, it's that's scary to be me at night. But if "anyone" is reading this, don't worry about me okay (if you are). I'm still alive so it's still not enough to "kill" me yet! (super tough ha ha ha!)

But I hope with this new method, I will be the most relax being on Earth every night... Wait till I made a improvement on this technique, I will be able to SAVE the world and the universe, and finally everyone can have a good game of chess with Mr Zhou :)

Life's crawling faster and faster.....

So be it....

=)

Just some updates. No time to write what I am pondering about. Shall just let the future me do it next time, assuming that, that future "Jiahe" will remember. (I say don't depend on him.. but it's okay la.. no time liao...)

28/09/10 - Tues
1. Went to Hall 16's mid autumn Celebration at ADM rooftop, 1 of my new friend "helped" me to make more new friends... as if a suPer enThU Orientation Group Leader is introducing a freshie like that -_-
Now there's like 10 new friends who knew me, in the dark. Anyway, I think I will meet them in the "day" again, at least some people in hall 16 already, so won't feel so "hotel-ish" bah.



A picture that I "wrote" for them, after it seems like they are having some difficulty writing "individually". Anyway, I was amazed by how I can write it that "straight" too, after I went back to my camera to see this picture. It's my 2nd time writing, the first was in Tioman Island, using handphone light. Cool stuff that I've learnt :)

With these series of pictures, he granted me the "10 year rec list". He got so much stuff to say about recommending me back to hall 16 for the next 10 year that I have to label him the "King of Crap". Sia la.. he got 1245 friends.. so he must really be crappy to become this popular~
(My Facebook account is a different case... I had this similar number because of the camera and the pictures taken, a common trait I see from all my photographer friends. People just seems to like "adding" the photographer as friend after being tagged I guess...)

2. 28 and 30/09/10 Tues and Thurs

went to help out my studio boss in his mobile studio at Nanyang Auditorium in NTU for the 2 nights, from about 4.30-10pm. It's sort of a boring job scope to me, but anyway, just do it since he asked for help...

and the most interesting about this period of my life is....
3. I notice that when I reached year 4, many people started to tell me to get a girlfriend..

- during gathering with my wushu friends who have graduated...

- my hall 16's 2nd friend whom I discovered (he's from my stream as well) started introducing me to his female friend that I am single, out of a sudden during a chat -_-

- someone said that I am available, openly to a group.

~some friend said that I am such a "eligible" bachelor in front of another female friend (dunno what plan/shit he is trying to stir/help me stir) and "reminded" me not to graduate with a double bachelor's degree, like what our funny senior always describe himself...

At first the female friend thought I was a First CLASS honours or something.

Anyway, I wonder what achievements in my life (in my friend's opinion) labeled me as eligible? And I thought it's good to find out from some "closer" friends cos I really don't know what conclusion they have drawn about me... should be interesting to know bah.

I would like to ask:
why do people think I am popular...?

Everytime in real/virtual life,
I'll hear/see this:

" Aiya, you so popular.... (then followed by some random stuff then...) haha~"
"you popular mah...."

For now, I think Jiahe the photographer is popular...
but Jiahe is not.. who knows about me, other than the person behind the BIG camera?

ya the 拍照 one right~!"

For now, it seems like no one really know the person behind the camera... but I know there's still some friends out there who can, either read me like a book, but not around me most of the times, or
attempted to read me like a book, but not much chance...
or
can't read me, but he hopes he can learn about me
(I hope the Jiahe that I've wished for is appearing in my life... but doesn't seems so.. my life's still in a busy mess it seems...)

- And now even my studio boss, and also his photographer friend, ask me to get a girlfriend in school before I leave.

~HOW do people tell that I don't have a girlfriend/have a girlfriend/ semi hidden one somewhere/I decided to be a monk or something~???

anyway, this whole journey is something worth taking note of. So it's written down.
Shall think about it when I am less "NTU stress Syndrome".

Hmm... with my 3 years in Engineering, I think it's "NTU - Nice To Understand".

but when we get too stressed, we should just learn that it's okay because there's "Nothing to Understand" in the first place. So we shouldn't worry too much and just study, and pray hard. And "most" of us should pass... haha...

Hmm.. seems like a good mentally to adopt, for those struggling.

all the best bah 笨小孩们 ：）

老天 will 爱我们 de~！
(and I ended up pondering quite a bit again -_-")

after 2 weeks in Hall 16, this is the first time to try "opening my mouth", to introduce myself, to someone I totally have no idea of... and I was glad that I "opened" that golden mouth of mine, which have been left "closed" for quite some time now.. since... 1 year ago..?

Anyway, shall just note down what entertaining points this new friends said.

He is also a Yr 4 Student, in Econs. Shall not put his name (just in case he have a fanclub, and decided to google him, and find him "here" instead lol!

To take the first step to step out of my "emo state" in Hall 16, I forced this line out of myself...

"Hi, I am new to Hall 16, don't know anyone here. Can I know you? My name is Jiahe *shag smile" (cos after a jog around NTU, so still cooling down outside corridor)

wah.. this line sounds totally LAME sia....

Anyway, the chat proceed on and he start to chat things which I didn't expected.

1. So since you are a senior from Hall 10 for the past 3 years, you must be quite high profile?

I replied that I am just useful and friendly I guess.

2. So you are a extrovert?

In a way, I thought that's quite a interesting observation for him to guessed that of me, cos the way I introduced myself, doesn't seems extrovert, it's more like a "emo kid who just want A friend outside his door"...

Anyway, I forgot what I replied, but I said something that I am not a extrovert. Just happen to learn how to talk to people for the past 3 years in Hall or something... then again, it's true mah. No one would agree that I am talkative.

I am not an extrovert. I am just a introvert, who is able to talk when there's a need to.

(And all these lengthy words just shows that I am typer-tive.. one who types alot, cos.. that's a introvert's skill actually~)

3. haha, you don't have to be humble here. I also joined FOC since Yr 1, and stayed till now. I understand how you feel to be shifted to an different place. If we have dinner gatherings I will call you out k :)

ok thanks :)

Anyway, nice meeting such a interesting super senior. I don't know why... a big part of me is asking me to stop making new friends and start retaining old friends.... but another small part of me is asking me not to be emo "alone" in this hall... cos the little Jiahe within is going crazy when he's placed, back in a hall, after 3 years of "open door" concept in hall 10, and now all he faces is a long stretch of closed doors, and when he's back in the BIG room which cost $215 per month, with a roomie who doesn't really talk much to me... not that I like talking, but "sharing is caring". I also need some love from "humans" sia...

Anyway, I had created this concept of life, didn't know if I have posted it here before....

We should all learn to move on, friends come and go, don't try too hard to hold on too long, or the only one getting hurt is yourself...

learn to move on...

This rule of my life is suppose to make me less emo, when all my friends have just "disappear" from my life due to many life's changes, and for myself to adapt better... Just taking my hall life as an example.... in all my 3 years of my hall, I have (been forced to) changed all 3 roomies due to Hall points issue.

There's so many points in my life that the cycle of "friends changing-&-going" ended me up... with an unexpected 1000+ Facebook friends... which I didn't really want to make (just for the simple rule that if I can't even remember your name, I am not fit to be your friend.... so I shouldn't make the effort to talk to you, if I am "not" sincere about remember you, although it's due to a physical ability to do with my pea brain, but then again, I shouldn't be making any new friends... if I will just end up failing to recall). But when people tried to add you, they do "like" you enough to want to be your friend. So ignoring is just simply rude... and that's why I ended up with 1000+ friends in my list..

Even now when I have someone I want to "add" in Facebook, I also hope that he/she don't think that I just "add" for fun, cos my friends list is just showing that, most probably, I am some crazy guy who just love adding EVERYONE I see... or just heard of... or someone who just wants to act popular... or whatever -_-"


But I realised that at EVERY POINT of my life, my friends keep coming and going... and the cycle repeated so much that I just label my life "pathetic"... always too busy for a meetup...? Ya, great life when school just starts, I am just a prisoner of Pulau NTU... I just hope I survive this last year "happily" (if it's even possible...).

Ok nevermind.

Just survive. It's okay Jiahe.

Go fill the empty stomach... and sleep bah....
(and why do I ended up sounding emo again -_-... no worries, this should be a fun post, just had a sad looking ending. I will be totally fine :))

Ok, tomorrow is cycling to old IA workplace to start my "Salvation plan" of iron parts for my FYP named "design of an automatic Ironing machine". Have great ex-colleagues who have prepared the stuff for me, so I will just be there to do a little more of Garung Guni-ing.

And Mon-Wed I will be seeing my "old" friends!
Mon, GIP friends for Olivia campus concert.
Tues Dance, most prob will see another old friend there as well.
and Wed, going out to try Wendy's at JP, to have lunch with my "newest" old friend.

Hmm.. not bad. I still do meetup with "old friends" haha...
good night and enjoy the fun packed week!
Till we meet again....

run turtle run.
:)

Tried that high tech method in lecture today. It worked and it's fun :P
(ignoring the negative side that I am acting high tech while sitting all the way at the front, and in front of the lecturer)

Tomorrow's going to have "good food" at Can 5. hoho!

Good night. And good morning 8.30am class. It's SpRiNg equation time -_-

Btw, last night my brain was back with the "lousy dreams" which I was suffering heavily from last semester in school (Year 3 sem 1). Made the effort to stop "thinking hard" 45 mins ago. (I wonder if I am thinking hard now when I am writing these). Oh well. wish myself good night.

Good night!

Yeap. Just a summary, for a start, after so long without writing anything. (and I hope I won't end up with chunks of words again)

Holiday ended:
1. GIP china prelude was super fun. Made new friends whom I still keep in contact with.

2. CAC FOC was fun. Didn't try to make friends, but many knew me as the photographer.

3. Didn't go back for hall 10 camp in case I get emo after seeing that hall, and not able to stay in hall after that.

4. Learnt many more go0d! stuff, to do with video, photography... but because holiday ended before I can even practise it properly, it's going to be "delete" soon after the memory gets overloaded (unwillingly) after 1 semester in NTU.

5. 26/08/10 (Thurs), I cleared my IPPT... phew. As always, ran for my life.
But it's good that I don't have to go back again till next Feb. Happened to go with 3 person 1 knew, Kah Hui, Da Neng and Junfeng. Met another whom I know the face... but dunno the name. anyway, each of us have their own worries (except for someone who's there for the 7th time to "clear" the lesson.

Something to note: IPPT always give me anxiety attacks. 2.4km runs are always ran with numb legs... but at least using 老命 to run, I made it again.

Start of school (30 Aug 10)
1. Felt lost in school after 9 months of not studying anything. (Dec holiday, the IA from Jan till June, holiday till Aug). Anyway, had fun waving like crazy, seeing all those OLD friends makes me happy.

2. Temporary putting up in in my ex-roomie's place, to save the travelling time. Most prob will know if I got a hall in the 2nd round after end of this week, Friday.

3. Came up with my new method to take down notes. It hasn't been proven effective (by me), but for now, my hypothesis tells me that it will be, so I will be bringing my laptop to lecture to take down notes electronically. And to be able to make myself do "that", I will have to 1st convince myself that I know "no one" in class and I can act as "high tech" as I want... if this works, I will have my own recorded lectures (of course without the video, just the audio). And the best part is, I can replay the audio clip as many times as I need to pea-brained Jiahe after the lesson, so that "he" won't bother anyone (as much as possible). And as the notes are being typed out, it will be much faster, with different colour codings somemore (compared to writing down and irreversible highlighting on notes).

4. Last year already, still thinking if I should end off with a blast in CAC... but my school work will be enough to blast me off... love the 21 AUs without the FYP counted in yet.

Cheers to being a Final year student! Eat my life if you can, you stupidly bell curved modules@#$%&*&%

5. Hall 12 is so near to school sia.

6.I can't sleep properly at night again in NTU area....

7. I turned back into a hungry ghost when I stay in NTU area... ate 4th meal already... now going for "supper" cos I am hungry... before 10pm -_-
Being in lectures just simply burns more mana bah...

8. Bought studio equipments, going to earn from the school committees if they ask if I do take photos this time. And another plan is to take passport size photos (studio quality lighting) after I get a hall and shift everything in.

9. I love FYP so much, that I haven't even started.
awesome.

10. I love Maths.. and there's 2 killer modules with super cool equations this time. Great. I love life so I will survive.

11. I need food right now. Most probably for the rest of the nights to come so I will have to prepare for it.


Okay now.. Good night to this place, and good morning to the 8.30am class tomorrow!


I love being able to squat in hall :)

______________________________________________
Updates 10.51pm (1 hr later)

And I am still hungry after a MacChicken.... -_-
Seriously spent too much on food.

Sleep early bah.

Wow.. I realised that it's been a long while since I came back here.. and because some old friend pop out of Facebook, I was reminded about this place, so I came back to look for our "old conversations".

And just simply reading back a few most "recent" post... I really find Jiahe's brain rather "interesting" to be able to come up with those "descriptions" of his life... For some warp logic, I hope that, if "he" is able to continue writing, I will continue reading...

but HE is ME...

how is this possible if I don't write... and if I write..... I already know what I write, while I am reading.... ok nevermind. This post is to serve as a reminder from...
the Jiahe now....

"I want you to continue writing okay... I really enjoy reading about your life"
from Jiahe 17/08/10, 1:33pm.
_______________________________________________________

As a final note just in case my friends think Jiahe (now) have turned crazy, after like 2 months.
This will probably explain why the "scenario" above happens.

Jiahe (in any time of his life) is usually unable to remember all the things that happened, since he's always busy, (or trying to make himself busy), so he makes use of this place to note down things that fly pass him so fast, yet that what matters to him...

So since he is reading back and getting all entertained, most probably, his memory have been "lost", so it seems like another new person, before he "recovers" his old past...

So I am still sane. Don't worry my... friends... (is there any..? nevermind it's okay, I just want to have a assurance if my friends happen to be seeing this :P)

See you again... Jiahe..
(yup I love talking to myself the most I guess, as in seriously talking to myself, not meant to insult my friends who just come here and read... if there's any. Didn't want people to find out about this place anyway :P)

Ok, IA finally finished today on 11/06/2010, Friday. ORD loh. But not at all happy.. quoting my friend's words.

Honeymoon just started and we had to leave...

Tomorrow it's Seniors Camp. Wonder any joker will be there to entertain me... I don't want to be alone with my wife... or maybe 2.

Then Sun come back.... Pack pack.. cos I am going for another 2 weeks of In Camp Training.

And my right arm which is used to do many stuff (including taking photos) is cui-ed due to a light fall... old injury so it caused a bigger damage. Anyway, this means that I will be "excused upper limb" liao.

" Chao Geng" all the way -_-

Updates again if I can.. for my own historical footstep sake.

Anyway, many things, just to note down major "key points".

1. Learnt 1/2 of Adobe after effects, think I'm going to forget everything after 2 weeks of "army" camp.

2. Went for 2 course. DISC and MBTI. Now I know why I can talk to Jiahe so much. It's "normal" actually, and there's other people too.

3. Going to IA was just sian.. but staying there for the day is just fun. Anyway it ended, and I guess my schedule will not allow us to meet again "easily". So I learnt to let go very easily, and I use my old phrase lots...

有缘再见。

And I seriously meant it... towards the slightly sad side. I guess some people may just thought that I meant that I don't want to see them, but history has repeated itself too many times.. it will just happen again so it's better not to disappoint people too much by raising hopes such as "free come out drink kopi".

k lots of photos from ORD-ing today, shall filter out tomorrow before I go camp maybe... shagg-ed.

good night world :)

My life is so sian that...

everytime when I reach home and left with 2-3 hours of civilian time, it gets eaten away when I decided to check my email..



Both jobs... the morning 8 to evening 5.35pm job....
and the school one ate it from 8-10pm.

And I spend 3 hours travelling everyday.

And I am sleeping 6 hours a day again....
Shall welcome the next 18 hours of awake sian time...


for now, I shall go lie on my bed and welcome the stupid dreams... what a exciting night again...

Guess I have been feeling down for too long, as every weekday is just too crap at work... there's totally no sense of achivement at all. Been wasting time and, being unable to do anything that I "like" to learn/do (eg: making improvement to my job scope's idea/ discussion or what)

So from today onwards, I shall dedicate the night to learning something that I want.

Adobe After effects video tutorial!!

Ok, there's video competition which will end in 31 May, shall learn for 2 hours every night, till 10pm, then sleep as a happy man who felt that he have accomplished something before the day ends.

And if I am able to sleep at 10pm every night, most probably will have enough rest to be "less irritated" with whatever crap that's happening around me.




In fact, I still have been taking note of my daily life, just that it's in my IA report.

Hope that when week 22 is finally written, I shall start a new proper life again :)

Can't wait for Week 22 to be finished!

It's been about a month since my last "summary post".
And it's not like I am going to write another long summary post again... won't have time for that since I plan to sleep in 25 mins time, and I still haven't wash up.

So, the summary of all summaries.

1. Work was lousy. I am not learning anymore "new" stuff within my job scope. No job satisfaction at all. (ya we are all told not to complain about this in "public sites" like facebook/ blog). But I hope my boss sees this and give me something "proper" to do... or fire me or what. Feels better, but of course not, cos it's going to affect my grade... so maybe just give me a pass and I can move on.

2. Many other things on my mind.. I haven't been talking to anyone, (not even blogging). Was choking with 心事 liao lah.. but it's okay... shall treat it as leveling up on my "character" for the crap that I met up with, mostly work related.

With that, I have assured myself that I won't "die" just yet :)

3. I have no life, or at least a life that I want.

4. I am contributing my time onto my Photography page... but since I even have much free time left to begin with, I can't do much also.

And because I don't even have much time to do anything else "personal", I think I lost my life...


Whatever...
I still have 76 more years to spent before I reach 100 :P

(having this thinking at least make me feel "less wasteful" of life now hahaha!!)

ok 14th week already, 8 more weeks to go before IA finishes... but that means doing many more uncomplete logbook entries.... and then the 2500-5000 words report. Hohohoho.

That's life....



uni life -_-

Today's gonna be the coolest day at work.. lol!
(nvm, if you know why then you know haha (there's only 1 detail in this post)

To do for today:

1. Print 1 super 8R photo.
2. Go work.
3. Collect photo.

Long time no post, cos I am too tired = not happy = emo (most of the time.. I want to do so many things.. and I don't have enough sleep too -_-)

But since it's so cool! today, shall put something here :)

Just a summary of "bigger events" which happened for as long as can remember now.

1. Hall production (25 Feb 2010, Fri evening)




Dunno why, but I thought it felt more like a "job" more than a "gathering" for me.. guessed I really lost touch with hall people haha... maybe it's like that when people gets "older". (there's usually not much senior left because it's hard to stay in hall, but most probably it's my problem -_-)

2. Impresario (talent time) competition (06 Mar, Sat evening)



It was super worth the money. $12. Since my ticket was the "cheaper" one, so my seat is also the "cheaper" one. But it's also on the higher level, so I too the chance to really "use" my super zoom lens for the first time (since I kana "chop" when I bought it last time)




Anyway, it's really fun. Long time never had this "sniper" feeling since I changed to DSLR. My
previous camera (FZ18) can go up to 18X optical zoom.

Check out the distance I am from!



3. NTU Open house (last Sat, 13 Mar 10, whole day)

Signed up already, but already knew it will end up as one of a canvassing project. So I don't really know the reason why I signed up.

Anyway, here's a group photo.
The External bus group.



By the way, the longest phrase I said to them was....

"This way to the NTU shutter bus".

Whatever, it's boring throughout, just writing it here :P

But the highlight was this.




My picture was there! hohoho :)

4. IT Show 2010 @ Suntec City, (14 Mar 2010, evening)

My mum actually accompanied me out when I said it's super boring to be walking along. She knew nothing about technology lol!

Anyway, I took the chance to bring her out too bah :)

Wanted to buy so many things. (I mentioned so many things in my previous post)

But I've set a rule before I go there - Do not get anything.

Objective: To review and get update on price.

With that, I was "saved".
Seeing all those huge drop in price really can make people "grab".

The touchscreen computer I was aiming was previously about $2000.
Now it was $1699, with 3 years extended on site warranty @_@!

My dream phone HTC HD2 was $378, not $588 liao.. in 1 month!

1 more month before I meet the 21 months upgrading period.. and looks like I have to choose back my lousy hp provider cos the price seems cheaper again... everytime I always kana bluffed by the lousy advertisements and salesperson for the wrong info.

2 times recontract = 4 years liao. + the first 2 years.

-__- totally.

Anyway, now that I went, I was glad I didn't bought the Acer touchscreen, for now. Didn't know there's a big difference.

I did a search on the processor nowadays cos I really lost touch.

The "dream" computer was in the 3rd bar.



Also 3rd slowest...

This comparison hit my soft spot.. using the program that I will have to use, and showing a 2X "SLOWER" comparison @_@

But in fact... it's actually in the top 3 fastest catagory already.

If I see this comparison at the "wrong" time, I may really just buy the first computer, without thinking! It's SUPER EX. But one of my Jiahe's business rule: Do not compromise $ for quality. Will just burn my whole pants up along with the hole...

Lucky. haha! Shall just wait for price to drop :)

Ok, I've spent like 1 hour 30 mins to write all these again. Been so long since I said "anything" to "anyone".

But still glad that it's said out and recorded down :)