For 3-4 days consecutively, there's no problem. Felt refreshed for these mornings (after so many years.. Haha). Whole day have energy to do more work and behave "normally" without getting irritated too easily with myself!

Yes, and now, the key:

1. Meeting more friends, plan for breaks, like a real workplace.

2.  Maintain a happy feeling before going to bed

And 1 more extra "secret" technique.

The "do whatever you want in your dreams".

This have not happen for many years now. But this topic came up when I was randomly discussing with Max, of my sleeping issue... I think I discovered the way to become the "administrator" of the dream :P

Steps and criteria:

1.  Have complete control of the mind, being able to maintain a peaceful "emptiness" state, with complete awareness of what's happening within, and outside the body (surrounding)

2. Upon going into semi-conscious state, with the "full awareness" (80%) and imaginative "dreamy" (20%) state, start planning the dream. Haha :P

It looks like this rough ratio have to be maintain, if we get too conscious, we will get back to reality, and if we lost control, it will be back to weird dreams that are inescapable.

Ok, if I have time, shall try out this thing again.

-flying like a superman is so fun, next will controlling a ironman suit?  Haha

I just realized that the same hectic life, may be the problem.. Why didn't I change after so long? Think I forgotten -_-

AS EXPECTED.

Working in my own business.

One of the reason is:

1. to be able to plan my own time.

After that, it is: do what I wish to do. And not given impossible and work-your-ass-off-meaningless-goals-set-by-others

I failed to recall the first, and most important one..

And with these 2 points, come up with the 3rd:

have enough rest and play, and make life more meaningful for me as well.

During uni times, it's when this problem started.

During semester, I studied my shell off, pushing through weekends most of the times as well.

During sem break, I have CCAs or work. Pushed through everyday, trying to make it useful, or meaningful. Playing is usually considered a waste of time, and I am always pushed to 90% work, and 10% play, so imba that the 90% work is not becoming efficient, and I do not "recall" the fact that playing harder than work, is the key to recharging. The right ratio should be 40% work, 60% play.  Google company style.

Clearly a fact that I have noted before in here, and I didn't manage to tell myself again... Please read back here jiahe...

I have been working non stop...

for too long...

Better start the

- work a standard amount of hours a day. Total rest outside work hours.

- have good weekends. Or plan for rest days.

Finally, Jiahe is here again to help :P

By the way, I had a good 6 hours sleep last night. Maybe that's the reason I feel good enough to recall these.

Today, the plan was to meet the CAC bunch from 3-9pm.
Half a day, and at the back of my mind, it was telling me that it's way too long for a gathering... I have work to clear, shouldn't be going out for such long period.

Although I am also clear that if I force myself to stay at home, the efficiency would be too low to do much work anyway, considering the fact that I have been feeling low for too long.

This morning from 12-9am, I suffered from blocked nose while sleeping. Constricted airways too. I think the night was too cold, and I end up having breathing difficulties on top of having lousy dreams (climbing over some bed as a child, struggling to breath and what crap) which is directly linked to my ailed physical body.

Went back to sleep after I woke up.. ended up waking at 12pm.

Washed up, went out had lunch, came back about 1pm. 2pm had to go out, since the meeting place is at the other opposite end of Singapore, in Bukit Batok.

3.30pm met up with them, and had laser quest, went to the birthday boy's house, watch TV, bullied him with camo creams, ate pizza dinner till we full to the max, played a card game, chit chat, cam whore to the max with 2 polaroid and 1 DSLR, lots of laughters...

All in all, today, I did almost nothing, related to work.

And now, I feel wide awake.
But somehow, I feel that I am calm, feeling happy, perhaps also satisfied, to sleep peacefully tonight. I have a awareness of everything; the feelings, the 4 senses, the body's condition... feeling that everything is in control... like the state of being "choc-coffee-nated", minus the extra heighten sense of awareness, from the coffee.

I realised the workaholic me is pushing myself too hard. Squeezing even the 0% efficiency me into doing work, just because of the simple fact that, beside doing work, there's nothing else I can do anyway, isn't it? And I am left with watching some random videos, scrolling the facebook Newsfeed for scrimps of entertainment.

Relationships are the only ships that can sail us through hardships.
Just by recalling these certain people in our lives, the warm feeling that it gives, can have great effects on the mind.

Hmm... I guess that's also why the human minds is set to find relationships, go into courtships, gain strength from kinships, worked hard as a parent... I have lost sight of my pillars of strength, and they only appear now and then...

Why am I such a noob with maintaining relationships...
I guess I am becoming too wary of people... some people had already caused dents in my trust of "humans".. Sometimes I don't know who to trust, or to tell things. And if we tell the wrong people, it may end up getting more people worried, and more problems to arise. Happened too many times till I already came up with the conclusion that, I can only discuss the problem....

with myself.

So much words for this post again.

Before going to sleep, I just want to note down, how, at this moment, I treasured the peaceful, sort of nice, in equilibrium, feeling that I am having now. It's been too long that I have been struggling with the negative mood and cycle thingy. I just can't get out of it.

Oh well... I am going to say the pessimist's phrase again...

Life goes on.

And the optimist phrase hoping to pull myself out..?

加油 Jiahe~

that's not too optimistic either...

I have stop believing that random items can be "lucky" and it's good to keep or bring them around.

random pieces of plastic stone..
can it save lives of dying or make the poor happy?

Don't give me such things, fellow human beings.. I rather work for it, than hope for miracles.

Using my skinny hands to work and brains to plan is the only way out.
Stop impeding me with weird ideas.

There are people whom I wish to send a merry christmas greeting... 

I don't know what's stopping me...

Anyway, I shall wish them a merry christmas...

Merry Christmas, my friends.

There's 2 types of job satisfaction.

Those who work for people, and those who work with people.
________________________________________

It's always exciting to be the Pro among the group.

You either keep amazing your group with your ideas.
Or,
you run out of ideas and get crazy with the imba stuff, with no help and see no shores.

Like what I have said on Facebook, I don't know how it ended up opened in my tab. Read it, and I can't agree more. I am also someone who self-created the theory of how stable BGRs are actually above BFF (Best Friend Forever).





Above is 1 diagram I made and saved while I explain to my friend few months back. Don't know if I did write it down before.. anyway, when I see this picture, I can explain it, so shall just paste it here to remind myself that... someone else does agrees with me too :)

Here's goes, copy and pasted, just in case it got delete off the site.

from http://sg.yahoo.matchmove.com/news/article/5-reasons-to-be-friends-with-your-significant-other

5 Reasons to be Friends with Your Significant Other

5 days ago by Maryanne Lee

A friend of mine, concerned with the regularity with which I switch boyfriends, recently told me that friendship and relationships should never mix.

This got me wondering, because after four months of being in a relationship with someone who could arguably be called (one of) my best friends, I completely and utterly disagree.

So here are some reasons for why I think you should be friends, if not best friends, with your significant other.

You mean she can’t be my friend and my girlfriend?

1. You can do stuff you both like together

The only way we'd get into an argument is if we disagree on what game to buy next, right, honey?

If you guys are friends, you will naturally have common interests. If you have common interests, the likelihood that you’ll have to accompany your significant other on some dreary forced pseudo-date to do something only they like will be lessened. Your relationship will suffer from less whining and disinterest and general dislike. You may actually have fun going out with your significant other.

Having the same interests and therefore enjoying and doing the same things together also leads to less arguments, less cold wars and definitely less money spent since you can both, for example, share an arcade machine (or a fish tank).

2. You know what they like

"Happy birthday sweetie, we've been together for six months now but I don't know what you like so I bought us an XboX so I could enjoy it at least.”(color)

And don’t have to ask their friends for help! This is one giant headache lifted off your Relationship Problems Palette because you will never have to wrack your brains for ideas on what to get your significant other for Christmas/birthdays/anniversaries. Also you can literally buy something at the very last minute and still come across as a nice, sensitive person because you know your sweetie so well you can read their mind. Awww.

The alternative?

You’d constantly have to ask your significant other about what they like, and they’d think, it’s been three years and you don’t know I hate the beach? Are you my boyfriend or a brick wall?

You are then faced with the dilemma of convincing your overly sensitive girlfriend that you actually truly love her, you just don’t know what she likes. And just how convincing does that sound?

3. You don’t play the break-up game

Break up? I thought we already broke up!

It’s easy to break up with some slag you’ve been together for 3 weeks, but not so easy to sever ties with a good friend. Being friends with your significant other makes you think twice about giving up when the going is tough. All the effort put into buying pointless presents and gifts and other material nonsense pales in comparison to all the effort put into the emotional support given and the attachment felt for a friend. Also, as friends, you’re likely to have fought before, and are therefore more likely to understand that it’s just a fight, it’ll blow over.

Of course, you may be like me and have a boyfriend who is a little childish. In that case, since you’re friends, it is perfectly okay to scold him, because as a friend, he’ll take it, or yell back. The friendship he shares with you is often infinitely more valuable than his ego.

But if he was just a boyfriend, well, you can bet your next Kate Spade bag from him that he’ll be walking away because he has no reason to stay.

Friendship always connects on a deeper level than just relationships, and that proves to be true even in arguments.

4. You actually enjoy talking to each other

It's nice that we're talking honey, but I really don't care if Wayne Rooney scored a hat-trick last night.

A lot of couples end up silent on the phone. Not because of that clichéd old adage that true friendship comes when silence isn’t awkward, but because they have nothing to say to each other. And this is because they are just boyfriend and girlfriend, and not friends, and have no idea what they enjoy talking about together.

Eventually this lack of conversation negates the need for phone conversations. Then it goes onto do away with the need to actually meet up and talk. Eventually you’re left with your weekly date nights, or worse, nothing at all. I used to date a self absorbed dude who preferred playing World of WarCraft to talking to me, and who had little to talk about other than himself when we were out. We ended up meeting once a week or less, with nothing to do on those dates.

We broke up, naturally.

5. You know there’s more to them than just an ideal

They really should be more than just a picture.

A lot of people put on fronts when they date. My self-absorbed ex-boyfriend was prone to suggesting sappy things like matching our outfits when we went out on dates. It’s hard to see past these bedazzling exteriors, especially when you are young and stupid. You don’t know that there’s more to a person than just what they show you while out on a date.

If you’re their friend first, however, you’ll know through and through that they are terrible, selfish, childish folk who tear up their friends’ collectible trading cards when angry, or that they would let their dog chew up your brand new birkenstocks without admonishment or that they cry if denied their time watching Man U get trashed by Man C.

And having known all that, you still like them! On the other hand, if you were just getting into a relationship and found out they were any of the above or worse, you’d probably leave them.

A wise but sometimes childish friend once told me, if you see their ugly sides and their good sides and are still friends with them, then you know that love and friendship is unshakeable.

If you overlook the grammar mistake, it’s really quite sound advice.

And that is why you should be friends with your significant other.

“家家”有本难念的经。

Wish to die...
but...
can't die.

what kind of feeling sia.

Grabbed from http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts

Just in case that page got deleted due to whatever reasons, shall just save a copy here for me to read again in future.
Here goes.

In late-2008, I was lucky enough to discover a book called, The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D. It felt like someone had written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race of people to which I belong. Not only had it explained many of my eccentricities, it helped me to redefine my entire life in a new and productive context.

Sure, anyone who knows me would say, “Duh! Why did it take you so long to realize you’re an Introvert?” It’s not that simple. The problem is that labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that.

A section of Laney’s book maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of contemplation takes place.

Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.)

So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life experience):

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

“You cannot escape us, and to change us would lead to your demise.” <-- I made that up. I'm a screenwriter.

It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become "normal." Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.

Let me know your thoughts.

-Carl.

Was really glad that I had friends around to help me.
This time, it's a friend from NUS, who I always see during events, but never talked once. She is a intern over there, and called to ask me about shooting her company.

Was rather nervous since the last time I did a shoot, was at school. And now, I was bringing the Full Battle Order out.



This is my weight, with the camera. The tired looking legs are from walking the whole day and taken upon reaching home. My normal weight is 57.8 kg.

This was the equipments laid down, while I was having my late lunch at 4pm.



Seeing that it could occupy so much space, I took a photo. So... with all these on...



Added 23.6 kg.

。。。。

叔叔有炼过的。

Lightroom rocks. Epecially the "Library" category :)
I don't have all the time in the world for those who keep throwing cheap deals at me...

I've lost track of weekdays and weekends. Both doesn't seems too different for me now. In a way, it means I am busy shooting, so it should be good. The only down side is, I am accepting too "cheap" events, which is not much of a choice since I really need money too, and I shouldn't reject any deals from my friend's brother's company.

Today, it's another pre wedding shoot. It was at Bukit Gombak MRT, 小桂林. First time going, and didn't know that Bukit Batok Town Park (小桂林） is not really connected to Bukit Batok Nature Park. Anyway, it rain throughout the 4-7pm, so only manage to get a few shots when it stopped now and then. Missed lots of potential shots this time.. anyway, I am not feeling too well from not sleeping too well last night..

Oh now that I also mentioned about sleep, got to add that the 2 day worth of Chinese medicine that I got from the Buddhism Free Clinic is actually able to make me relax, and even if I dream heavily on the night, I still wake up feeling quite charged. Not getting too irritable easily.

Okay back to updating the last part of today.


My friend ask 2 of us to go Saint James for a gathering. This is the first time I am going into a club, for a gathering (not as some free entry from school's event). I got myself a Safra card, and my friend's ex-card actually allow 2 more other friend to join in too. I went in, there was almost no change of mood for me, and I thought, if I were to go to the zoo even for the 10th time, it will be more exciting. My friend turned to his girlfriend and told her that it's normal for us (the 2 guys) to look at girls over there. Well... I am looking at this category of humans in general. I guess they won't understand. Today I brought my wife and her accessories there, it's not nice to move around too. And in there, I saw Ms Sun shining at me for like 10 seconds. Then I turn around and it's interesting that we still can call out each other's name at the back of our minds.

And also to add, I tried to explore some way over to Saint James, walked up some stairs in Vivocity, interesting where it got me into. Ended up getting entertained and passed by 2 hours, by Ah Jiao and Chri-So-Pher. hahaha. Nice :)