Our Little Russian Peanut

Can you believe it's taken me 3 posts to tell about my weekend? I think I've come to realize that I'm just a wordy individual and can't summarize things. Must. Give. Details. How annoying!

So... the highlight of our weekend trip to Alabama was our visit with Melissa, Nathan and Iliya (and Melissa's friend, Ginger, who was so sweet!). We headed straight to Melissa's (about 45 mins from B'ham) after the IA clinic was over. Melissa was kind enough to make us dinner (yummy taco soup and chili!). She must have known that those are 2 of my husband's most favorite fall meals. If he could eat taco soup everyday, he would. Anyhoo... there I go with the details again!

As soon as we walked in we saw this little ittle bittle guy toddling around. No introduction was needed - I would recognize that face and little belly anywhere! It was Iliya. Ladies and Gents, let me just brag on Melissa and Nathan for a second. He is so comfortable in his surroundings, knows who/where mom and dad are, is communicating with sign language and seems so well adjusted! We brought him a few gifts - some books and Little People stacking blocks. What he loved more than the gifts was the packaging everything came in. He took his time shredding tissue paper and then wore the packaging from the Little People on his head as a hat and boy was he the cutest!

We sat down to have dinner and I was amazed at Iliya's communication while he ate. He signed "more" "please" and made sure to open up his mouth to prove his food was all gone before was given more! He signed when he was ready for a drink and was such a good little eater. After dinner he entertained us by showing us how he climbs up and goes down the slide - I think that was the highlight. All eyes were on him and we all cheered him on with a big "GO" and when he got to the bottom we all said "YEY!!!". He was so delighted at all of the cheering.

Melissa and I talked about their adoption, getting through airports, strollers, slings, etc... She showed me pictures from their 1st and 2nd trip (can you believe she has them all in albums already!?!?!). Iliya helped flip the pages from time to time. :-) What a cutie. When bath time came, Iliya definitely wanted his mommy to get started - what a great sign of attachment. We took some pictures before we left (at the top) and I really wish I knew it was "primary color" day... boy do I clash with the Alabama Red and Keith's orange shirt! :-)

I am so grateful for my blog friends! There is no one else in this world that "gets" you more than those that have been through it. THANKS, Melissa, for being my first meet-in-real-life blogger person! :-) Couldn't have asked to meet a sweeter family.

Being at Melissa's and seeing little Iliya made Keith and I realize even more how excited we are to have a little boy of our own. Just watching the little things Iliya did amazed me and I can't wait to see my own child do the same. Iliya's attachment and demeanor helped ease Keith's mind. I realized that I read so much about adoption and I always tell him the bad, scary stories.

After we left Melissa's we headed to our hotel (a new one - not the same one as Friday night - ut uh, no way). It was a full service Marriott. I loooovvveeee full service Marriott's. We splurged and bought a bottle of wine, watched the rest of the Alabama/Arkansas game and then crashed! I don't think either of us got through a full glass of wine. We were out cold and slept about 12 hours. This is unheard of for Keith - the boy usually sleeps 5, if that.

We woke up to a flat tire (big nail in it), had some Mexican for lunch and then headed on home. It was such a great weekend. I think I needed time with my husband, we both needed sleep and Alex needed time without us. A big thank you to my sister and brother-in-law for entertaining Alex all weekend. I know he was soooo happy to get away from his nagging step-mother. :-)

So... that's it for the weekend. I swear. :-) Thanks for sticking around for Pt II. :-)

Have a fabulous night!
Becky

Our weekend was quite the fun and interesting one. Apparently my project at work has caused me to lose common sense. It started out on Friday, after work, when we were heading to Alex's football game. I saw the location was "Marietta" so we went to Marietta HS, paid to get in and low and behold - that wasn't our team playing!! Yep - I took us to the wrong school. To top that off, once we got to the game, we were sitting two rows back from the field. I see a back-up quarterback warming up and I said to Keith "Who is that quarterback? Look! Someone else is warming up - who's going in Who's #16?" He looks at me weird and laughs. I said "WHO is it?" He said "Are you serious? That's Alex!" Ummmm... he was 10 feet away, I've been to 4 games, he has the same number as last year and I still didn't know it was him. THAT set the tone for the weekend. :-)

We arrived in Birmingham around 2am (EST), checked into our hotel and crashed about 15 mins later. We had some hotel room problems - not to bore you with details - so bottom line is I got the night refunded. We headed to the church where the clinic was being held and dove right in. They broke us out into groups - little kids and older kids. Obviously, we were in the little kids group. Dr. Chambers started the discussion and went through the medical side of the UAB Clinic.

I loved Dr. Chambers from the start. She is an adoptive parent (2 girls from China) ** ETA: Thanks Melissa for pointing out by boo-boo! CHINA not Russia! I have Russia on the brain! As a matter of fact, everyone that spoke was an adoptive parent. It really gave you comfort knowing that they've been through what you're about to go through AND they have the science and training to know what to do about it. She described what they would do with our referral. Since we're most likely traveling blind, we would give her what little information we have when we leave and then send her a questionnaire (provided) as well as photos and video. She will review it and get back to us within 24/48 hours. We'll have an on-call number as well. She also took some time and went over common skin rashes and how to treat, things to take with us and the prescriptions that she'll prescribe for the Peanut for Trip 2.

UAB also does post-adoption medical. They communicate very closely with your pediatrician to ensure your child goes through the least amount of agony when it comes to shots and blood draws. They do an extensive medical screening and also rule out/confirm any strange diagnoses on your child's medical. She went over FAS and told us what they look for and what kind of pictures she'll need to check out facial features.

Next up was Leigh Anne Harrington a Clinical Social Worker. She talked a lot about attachment and bonding. She was gave us realistic expectations for some of the things we may face when we come home with the Peanut. There were so many handouts included in our packet - things to do to encourage eye contact, how to encourage attachment, a letter to give family and friends discussing guidelines for promoting attachment, pre-travel tips and info and an article on how to raise sound sleepers. She talked about post-adoption depression and encouraged us to call her office immediately if we feel overwhelmed or like we're getting depressed. She said it's so much more common that anyone realizes.

Closing out the day was Jill Barnhart, Developmental/Education Specialist. She talked about sensory integration and how children react to being outside of their orphanage surroundings. It was either Jill or Leigh that told us that some children spend (brace yourselves) 20 - 22 hours PER DAY in their cribs with nothing more than themselves and a stuffed animal or toy. I'm sure that is the extreme, but to think that many of these children don't leave the four walls that surround them for months at a time just blows my mind. Jill gave us a handout on developmental milestones, language issues and how that affects future issues in school and baby sign language. The baby sign language really intrigued Keith and then when he saw Iliya signing (see tomorrow night's post) he was sold. My husband now signs "more" quite regularly. :-)

All of these doctors were so good to listen to. They absolutely LOVE their jobs and that means so much. We will definitely be using them for our evaluation as well as for our post-adoption visit. It is a drive for us - about 2 hours - but worth it if you feel confident in the evaluation you are given. I spoke with Dr. Chambers and she said that since we're from Atlanta, they could combine our 1st and 2nd visit into one visit to make it easier for us. It would just be a 4 - 5 hour day at the clinic. Keith and I are open to taking two trips. I suppose we'll see how good the little one is in the car before deciding. :-)

I know I didn't cover details regarding attachment, bonding, sensory integration so if you have specific questions, please just leave them in the comments. For those of you with CHI, you probably had to take the 10 hours of education on DVD and that covered a lot of those topics. I will tell you that I got a LOT more from this UAB seminar then I did the DVDs. It reinforced a lot of what I had already heard about but it gave us a look into what the majority face - not the extreme cases. It was more about educating you and calming your fears.

Coming up tomorrow night on "Sweet Alabama Pt 2" - our visit with Melissa and family, 12 hours of sleep and a flat tire!

Let's start with the good, shall we? After all, it is over the hump day which means there's only 2 more days of this looonnnggg week left!

A big THANKS to those of you that ordered a magazine from Alex. He has met his goal, thanks to all of you!

Congrats to Laura and Andres! They received their referral from Colombia this week.

Congrats to Brandy and Cody! The also received their referral and their travel dates for their first trip to Kemerovo.

Good luck and safe travels to Carey and Norman who are on their way to Vladivostok to meet their little girl!

And a special "thanks" (insert sarcasm here) to President Putin for dissolving the Russian government. Ohhh... wait. That's not part of the good. Enter the bad.

Virginia tells it best on her blog, but the jist of it is this. (Disclaimer: This is summarized in "Becky-speak". If you're not familiar with "Becky-speak" it's a bunch of jumble with lots of opinion thrown in) The entire Russian government resigned. Everyone apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed and said "ya know what?!? I've had it with this place. I'm gonna quit and talk everyone into quitting with me." Yeah, right. The prime minister stepped down as did the minister of education. Stepped down with a little bit of nudging, I'm sure. For those of you not married to the Russian adoption process, the Ministry of Education (MOE) is key. They are the governing body that has the ability to grant accreditation to the remaining agencies. They issue referrals, process our paperwork, etc...

Putin has announced his new choice for prime minister, Viktor Zubkov, and he'll most likely be Putin's successor in the 2008 Presidential elections. Keith told me that this same thing happened back when Boris Yeltsin was on his way out of office. Who did he choose as the new prime minister? Why, Putin of course! The real important question is who will head up the MOE and what will that person do going forward.

I'm really getting a crash course in geography, history and politics with this adoption. Those that know me, know how much I hated those subjects in high school. As I'm getting older, I find I like to learn these things. Don't ever tell my high school history teacher if you run into him. I can't ruin my image.

On Friday night, Keith and I are taking a little road trip to the great state of Alabama! We have our International Adoption Clinic on Saturday from 9 - 3. I'm very excited about it. Knowing what I know now about wait times for referrals I kind of wish we were going later in the year, but the good thing is that we can go back again for a refresher. We're going to spend the night in Birmingham on Friday and we're playing Saturday night by ear. Part of me wants to spend another night just so we can go to sleep at 7pm without dogs or having to nag a teenager to write his language arts paper and oh yeah - QUIT TEXT MESSAGING! :-) And to spend a weekend with my husband, of course. :-)

Say a prayer, wish on a star, hop up and down on one foot - we need this situation in Russia to work itself out for the best. Good luck to everyone waiting for referrals, court dates and the like! I know there's definitely been a pick-up in activity lately which is a GOOD thing!

I'll be back Sunday to post about my IAD appt. I'll take copious notes and be sure to entertain you with everything I've learned about assessing a referral. I know you can't wait!!

Hugs!
Becky

Happy Tuesday! So very glad to say that instead of "Happy Monday!". I hope everyone had a fabo weekend and is nice and rested. Me? I'm not rested! I just don't get it. I think I'm going to feel a suddenly ill one of these days so that I can stay home alone and veg out. Not that I don't love my family, but there is nothing that beats an empty house and HGTV/TLC all day long.

I've spent a lot of time catching up on blogs and reading things on FRUA (Families for Russian and Ukranian Adoption). FRUA is such a great resource for those of us adopting. There has been some chatter about the next round accreditation. It seemed as though things were getting resolved (there was an issue with Interpol and background checks - if you want more info, let me know, otherwise I won't bore you with the nitty gritty) but then I log in this morning, so excited to see some more good news and I hear "POP POP POP"! That was the sound of my bubbles bursting. According to someone's blog (and who knows if this is true since noone knows how this person gets their info, so take it for what it's worth) accreditations are at a complete standstill with no end in sight. This what life is like as a PAP (pre-adoptive parent) - a big UP and then a big DOWN. The good news is that I think I've gotten a bit used to the accreditation roller coaster because I just find myself rolling my eyes and moving on.

Something else I found on FRUA was a post about what to pack. I jotted down some things that made me go "Hmmm..." (okay - who's singing that song now?? "Things that make you go hmmm...") and decided to share them with you. This list is all mixed up - some things for Trip 1 and some for Trip 2 and some for both! Keep in mind, this is not an all encompassing list - I left off the obvious (like cold medicine, tylenol, etc..)

• Cleaning stuff: Febreeze or wrinkle release, packages of woolite, antibacterial cleaner
• Small packages of kleenex (carry them around in case you need TP)
• Short extension cord with 3 outlets so that you can charge everything at once (digi camera, camcorder, etc...)
• Rubber Stopper for the tub or sink (for trip 2 when you have to wash clothes in the sink)
• Twine (to make a clothesline on trip 2)
• ziplock bags in all shapes and sizes (for dirty clothes and things like that)
• Masking Tape (this is a good one! Used to "childproof" your hotel room - cover outlets, tape cabinets and drawers closed, section off the room, etc...)
• ear plugs (I think I might invest in those noise canceling headphones for the plane ride)
• Meds: Ambien (or some kind of sleep aid), Dramamine (driving in Moscow is not for the faint stomach), bug wipes (for the fall, spring, summer - no A/C so windows will be open)
• Food you can pack: pull top meats (tuna, chicken, etc...), oatmeal, cup-a-soup, ramen noodles, hot chocolate, peanut butter, crackers, nuts, beef jerky

A few other little tips:

• Don't pack one suitcase for you and one for your husband (I learned this going to Paris when my suitcase was there but Keith's decided to go to LA (because THAT'S on the way to Paris from Atlanta, right??)) - Anyhow, back to my point, 50/50 in each suitcase in case one gets lost.
• There is no such thing as a carry on suitcase in Russia - they all get checked so carry a backpack on the plane.
• Pack food in your backpack just in case you get stuck somewhere for a while
• On trip 2, take a DVD of your animals (dogs in particular) to show your little one on the way home over and over and over again so he/she can get used to the sounds and sights of your furry kids.

We're still waiting to hear any news about the Kras families waiting for court. We're also about to approach Mini Milestone #1 - Clinic with the International Adoption doctor which is Sept 15th. Well, I guess Mini Milestone #1a comes first but we're trying not to think about the horrible vaccination shots we're getting on Thursday. I have Milestone #3 to add to the list (#2 is the Pre-Adopt class at CHI in Nashville in October). My project management class for the Masters-Program-That-Never-Ends will be over November 1st. It's at this point I'm hoping and praying and wishing on a star that we'll have seen some serious movement in Kras.

Well, there's my update for the night! I'm sure you'll be hearing from me after my wonderful experience on Thursday unless my arm is too sore from all of those shots!

Toodley-do!