Our Little Russian Peanut

Unfortunately, my northern friends are getting quite a dose of snow tonight!  It should be downright illegal for it to snow before Halloween.  I was complaining today about 50 degree temps and wind, but I think I’ll just shut up now. :-)

We went (in 50 degree weather, wind and all… hehehe) to get a pumpkin today.  Yes, we’re a bit late and yes, I forgot my camera but we did get a pumpkin.  That counts for something, right??  Andrew picked out a great pumpkin and so we carved it this evening.  Andrew can’t stand to touch the inside of the pumpkin, but at least he semi participated this year.

Andrew started out announcing that he was going to help clean out the pumpkin and separate the seeds this year.  At first glance, his dedication began to waver.

Then he poked around at the gooky stuff and thought “ohhhhh no…. I’m not touching that!!”

“Hey, look at me!  I found a way to help!”

Before starting the carving, Andrew drew a sketch of what he wanted to the face to look like.  He directed Daddy in the carving.

The finished product! 

We now have pumpkin seeds to roast, which we’ll take care of tomorrow.  Andrew has a nagging cough and is starting to sound a bit croupy.  Hoping it goes away with a lot of rest this weekend so that we can Trick or Treat on Monday! 

Baseball is over.  Bummer, bummer.  Andrew came SO far over the course of the season.  During his last 4 at bats, he hit the ball from the coach’s pitch each time!!  It was so exciting to see since before that he was completely scared of the ball.  We’re thinking about playing indoor soccer this winter, but haven’t actually signed up yet.  I think I have until Monday to make a decision.  No, I’m not a procrastinator.  Not at all.

Happy Halloween a bit early!  Stay warm and well!
Becky

My heart is heavy - heavy with worry.  Worrying about things I can’t control.  Worrying about things that won’t be resolved in my mind or heart for a good six months.  I suppose this could make me slightly crazy if I let it, but instead, I just let myself go through these bouts of worry and let Keith convince me it’s all okay.  :-)  Glass half empty works well with glass half full.

So what am I worried about?  Nathan.  I’m worried that he always looks so sad in the pictures.  He looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders.  Who has a chocolate cake in front of them and doesn’t smile?  I think back to when we first met Andrew and he didn’t smile at all.  He was so darn serious and sad looking.

(Andrew, June 2008)

BUT, the big difference was, we were there.  We could see him, we could see his eyes change as he wanted to smile a bit, but still had his guard up.  We could see the scared look in his eyes and we could love on him.  With Nathan, we have pictures but we can’t make his eyes light up or let him know it’s going to be okay.  That just plain old sucks.

I found myself pulling up all of Nathan’s records the other night.  Keith was traveling, Andrew was fast asleep next to me so I was left with my own thoughts.  I wanted to check (again) to make sure there was nothing I missed on his medical.  I’m not sure what I was looking for.  “Hates that he has to share the caregivers with a bazillion other kids.”?!?!  “Doesn’t like to smile.”?!?!  Whatever it was, I couldn’t find.  He was on target developmentally based on what I read, he was described as “active” and “energetic” and (drumroll please…) “has a ready smile”.

(Nathan, 2011, I think)

I asked Keith the next day if he thought Nathan was okay because he always looks sad.  His answer – “He probably is sad but as soon as he’s with us, he’ll be fine, just like Andrew was.”  How is it that a husband can make things that are so complicated seem so simple??  I’m still worried, but know that we can handle whatever is thrown our way and if our little guy needs to grieve then he can grieve with us, his mom and dad.

I thought having pictures and updates was going to make this an “easier” adoption than Andrew’s but I really think that not “meeting” him has made it hard because we have no personality to associate to the pictures we obsess over.  I wish I knew someone going to Nathan’s orphanage that could see him for me and let me know he’s okay, but instead I’ll just be counting down the days months until we head to pick him up.

Going to go enjoy this beautiful weekend.  Hope you all are doing the same!
Becky

Baseball has begun and we seem to have quite a little slugger on our hands.  Well, maybe not a slugger since he seems to be golfing each time he swings the bat but he is quite the short stop!  Andrew got the game ball after his game on Monday for an unassisted double play.  I, of course, missed it, but heard all about how he tagged the guy running to third and got the guy coming to second out because he wasn’t paying attention!  He really is enjoying baseball so much more this year.  He seems to “get” it.  He did say that next Fall he wants to play football so that he can get a middle name like “The Tornado”. :-)  (Thanks to Nana for the pictures below… Mama is slacking with the camera!.)

Baseball ready!!

Score!!!

As I mentioned previously, Nathan celebrated his third birthday in September.  We sent a cake and many other things in hopes that he could have a party, even though we couldn’t be there.  It turns out that another little boy had a birthday and his mommy and daddy had the same great idea so they had one big party!  There were SO many children in the pictures.  It made me happy to see them so happy but made me sad to see so many children without moms and dads.  Below are some of the pictures we received back.  I’ve blurred out the other children’s faces since they are not mine to post.

Nathan, sitting with his gifts and all of the goodies that were bought for the party!

Hmmm… what is this chocolaty goodness??  And what is this funny thing on my head?  They caregivers did a GREAT job picking out his cake because Mom and big brother are chocolate fiends!  He’ll fit right in.

I wish I didn’t have to crop this one so much and blur the little  boy’s face next to Nathan because it is the cutest thing.  I’m not sure if the little  boy next to him is his friend but he was SO excited watching Nathan get his first bite of cake.  Nathan, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be quite sure.

Helping himself to some soda.  I realize how little he is when I see those little hands!

It’s been 30 days since we received our log in date from China.  The average wait for LSC (official referral) is 70ish days.  On the short side, it’s about 40 days and on the long side it’s 120 days.  I trust that whatever is going to happen will happen and we’ll be ready for it.  I’m not 100% clear on the next steps but will hopefully have some time to read up in the next few weeks.

We have a house full of sickies.  I woke up Thursday night to the sound of a waterfall which turned out to be Andrew getting sick on our bedroom floor.  After he was done, he turned to me with this innocent little face and said “What is that called that I just did?”  Made me realize that at six years of age, this is the first time Andrew was ever sick to his stomach.  This momma is grateful because I almost lost it throughout the night.  Thankfully, Keith has a stomach of steel! 

Looking forward to the fall and to things slowing down a bit (HA!).  There hasn’t been a week over the past 4 weeks that we’ve all been home.  I’ve traveled or Keith has traveled.  While it’s been rough, we’re both thankful to have great jobs and beyond grateful to be able to balance things the way we do!

Hope everyone is doing well.  Only 21 days till Halloween!  Can’t wait to see everyone’s kiddos in their costumes this year!

Becky