The Porter Crew: 2014

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Hard Providences

God Moves in a Mysterious Way by William Cowper

God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform;

He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.

Ye fearful saints fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread

Are big with mercy, and shall break with blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace;

behind a frowning providence he hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding ev'ry hour;

the bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flow'r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err, and scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.

In the last post I wrote, I made reference to the song "Broken Hallelujah" and to the story that God is writing in our lives. At the time I was writing, Ryan and I had already been made aware of some hard news, and the Lord was calming our anxious hearts and giving me the words to write which would hopefully encourage others that God is in control of our lives.
After serving as the head baseball coach at ECS for the last four years, Ryan was told that he was not going to be the head coach next year. Even though this has been hard news, God has truly blessed us through it all, and even though this is minor in comparison to other peoples' trials, God is good, and He is giving us peace and encouragement when we need it. We are praying and seeking the Lord to open the door where He would have us go and close ALL doors where He would not have us. This is truly a lesson in trusting Him, and we are praying for grace to do that!!
So what is next? We really don't know! Ryan still has a teaching position at ECS for this next year, so the Lord was gracious in allowing that cushion! When I look at our house and think of all the things I would need to do to get our house ready to put on the market and move within 2 months -- I literally start shaking inside! So, that's another way people can pray for me!! Ryan was given permission to send out his resume without a breach of contract, so we will start doing that soon. I know if God calls Ryan to another place, then He will give us the grace to make the move and sell our house. I try not to think of all the goodbyes and the uprooting, because again, He will provide the grace we need when and if the time comes. IF Ryan does stay and teach next year at ECS, he would be able to teach Maggie and possibly coach her in basketball, so there are definitely positives to staying!
In the above hymn by William Cowper when he writes of the clouds we dread breaking with blessings on our head, I truly know what that is like. We have been overwhelmed by the love and encouragement and prayers of so many friends. I have felt unbelievably blessed by the Lord's Spirit and by His people who have and are reaching out to us. After talking to Maggie about possibly moving -- since she would be affected more than the others -- she thought a while and then said, "You know it's really neat to think that God knows where we are going to be next year and we don't. It's kind of like an adventure!" And I feel the same way -- it's a roller coaster ride, and I get really scared on roller coasters, but when it's all over and I am shaking from adrenaline, I almost always say, "Let's do it again!"

Maggie and best school friend Laura Beth Baker on their way to the last spring basketball game

Sillies!

May 12, 2014 -- Celebrating Cat's 6th heavenly birthday with sno-cones, one of her favorite summer treats

Headed to ballet recital -- so excited about the make-up!!

Meredith and sweet friend Harper Farmer

FINALLY -- after keeping several types of cocoons for MONTHS now -- our first polyphemus moth has emerged

Wings outspread

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Broken Hallelujahs and Stories

I have always loved music, and I have always wished so badly that I had a a beautiful voice. One reason the Lord may not have blessed me with a gorgeous voice, I'm sure, is because of my pride. Would I point people to Christ or to myself if I had the voice of an angel? At least I know when I do have a heavenly voice, I will use it to worship and glorify my Lord. But because I don't have that voice on earth, I love music! Music has a way of capturing the cry of my heart at times. Currently, there are several songs that not only have beautiful accompaniment, but the lyrics echo the prayer that is inside my heart at times. One song is "Broken Hallelujah" by The Afters. I'll post the lyrics below, but if you haven't heard it, pull it up on Youtube or some other site and listen.
This past week as I was remembering my sister's life and her death, as well as other things, the Lord seemed to let me hear this song at just the right times. When I think back to what Catherine went through in her illness and how she truly desired to point to Christ through all the sufferings, I am convicted by how little I praise the Lord through the trivial, mundane, day-to-day struggles that come my way. None of my larger trials to date light a candle to what Catherine and others have gone through or are going through, but I again am reminded to let my light shine before men, even when I am frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, worried. The beauty of the gospel is that the Lord is made strong in my weaknesses. His grace abounds where my strength fails, and He makes beautiful things out of the ashes of my sin! I pray that I would remember His promises day in and day out, and that I would always sing Hallelujah!!
Another thing I love is stories! I have always loved to read, and I long to write a book of my own, but like my singing voice, my writing voice is just not there (except for this little blog). At our church's women's retreat that focused on prayer this year, I picked up a book by Paul Miller entitled A Praying Life. Everyone should read this book! God has used it to convict me and encourage me, and there are underlinings, stars and exclamation points throughout every chapter I've read. Maggie is reading it a little at a time of her own accord, and I will probably go back and reread it after I am done. Along the lines of the broken hallelujahs and the major and minor trials that come our way, Miller writes in the chapter "Praying Without a Story," "When the story isn't going your way, ask yourself, 'What is God doing?' Be on the lookout for strange gifts." I have found myself recently praying for what I want rather than what God wants -- for many things!! Yet as Miller points out, living in God's story requires that I "1) Don't demand that the story go your way. (In other words, surrender completely.)
2) Look for the Storyteller. Look for His hand, then pray in light of what you are seeing.
3) Stay in the story. Don't shut down when it goes the wrong way."
Ouch!! I am that typical first-born female who wants things a certain way, and I try to control my kids, my husband, and God! But God in His mercy does not give me what I deserve. He continues to write His beautiful story of grace in my life, in Ryan's life and in the lives our children. Things don't always go the way we want them to go or the way I dreamed they would be. But again, as Miller reminds me, "When confronted with suffering that won't go away or with even a minor problem, we instinctively focus on what is missing ... not on the Master's hand...If you watch the stories God is weaving in your life, you will begin to see patterns. You'll become a poet, sensitive to your Father's voice." And He is a much better storyteller than I could ever be!!

"Broken Hallelujah"

I can barely stand right now.
Everything is crashing down,
And I wonder where You are.

I try to find the words to pray.
I don't always know what to say,
But You're the one that can hear my heart.

Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You're making beauty from these ashes.

I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
On my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

You know the things that have brought me here.
You know the story of every tear.
‘Cause You've been here from the very start.

Even though I don't know what your plan is,
I know You're making beauty from these ashes.

I've seen joy and I've seen pain.
On my knees, I call Your name.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

With nothing left to hold onto,
I raise these empty hands to You.
Here's my broken hallelujah.

When all is taken away, don't let my heart be changed.
Let me always sing Hallelujah
When I feel afraid, don't let my hope be erased
Let me always sing Hallelujah.
Let me always sing Hallelujah.

I will always sing
I will always sing
Here's my broken hallelujah.

Greco-Roman Day at ECS. These are a few of Maggie's close school friends

Maggie's braid wheel that I spent an agonizing amount of time on and which hopefully she will appreciate one day : )

Spring Break trip to Kentucky; Mammoth Caverns

Louisville Slugger Museum

Of course, Will had to have a picture in front of the Pirates jersey

Maggie in front of Babe Ruth's bat

Kentucky Derby Museum

Churchill Downs

Creation Museum

Replica of the printing press

Beautiful spring day at Shelby Farms back in Memphis

Pre-season scrimmage

Maggie practicing the long jump; she was ok at this, but the 7th graders were much stronger

Discus-throwing; Maggie discovered she had an arm after the first meet. She came in 5th place in the regionals -- competing agains 7th and 8th graders -- and had a personal record of over 64'

The baby turtle we rescued on a street and kept for a weekend before setting him free in a friend's pond

Maggie's new look for the next 18 months

5th place in region -- look at the competition!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Why I'm Kissing Social Media Goodbye

I know I have a very limited audience with this blog. I have not been faithful in posting since this is not a high priority for me, but I feel like I have to share something on my heart even if to a select handful of readers.

I recently took a “fast” from Facebook for most of the month of December, then soon after Christmas, I decided to take a more permanent one. My decision stems from a struggle I have with contentment among other things. Discontentment is an oft-overlooked sin which is fleshed out in the command “Do not covet.” The tenth commandment is probably for many people considered one of the “lesser” commandments (right down there with the 4th commandment on the Sabbath). It’s the commandment we least think about, but in reality it’s something most people, especially in western culture, struggle to follow. Although faced with it everywhere we turn, especially in the realm of advertising, social media, in my opinion, has only exponentially increased the struggle of contentment for many of us. Many people use the venue as a place to freely brag -- or feel connected and liked. If we happen to post something, then we have to continually check to see how many “likes” or “shares” or comments our post has gotten.

Galatians 1:10 states, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” The major areas in which I struggle with contentment are being a wife and mother and the actions and attitudes of my husband and children. In my head, I know that I am a sinner, married to a sinner, and we have sinful children; however, when it comes to the ways in which these truths manifest themselves, I often get overwhelmed and discouraged. Yes, Christ came to overcome sin and the world, and I have hope in Him. But the battle against sin is REAL in my own heart and the hearts of my husband and children. Christ calls me to “take every thought captive,” yet how am I to do that when I am thinking about how my life compares to that of others.

The part of my life that I end up comparing the most is my children. My children are not perfect, and neither am I! I am a fallen, redeemed sinner, and I should desire to be conformed to the image of Christ -- not the image of another mother or wife. Nor should I wish that my husband was like another man or my children were like other children, but that they should all, with me, be made more and more like our Savior! God has given me the exact perfect children to assist in performing His work of sanctification in me (and the perfect husband for that matter!). He chose me and Ryan to shepherd our three children, even though some of the traits are very difficult ones to parent. When it comes down to it, I would never want to trade our children for any other children (and at the worst of times no one would want to trade places with us!!). I am THANKFUL for these children!! I have sought the Lord more BECAUSE of our children! But these thoughts easily get drowned out if I am on Facebook (or Instagram, which I’m not) looking at countless pictures and posts about other parents’ seemingly amazing, darling, always-smiling children (even though this is not the reality of these parents!). I easily become discontent with the children God gave me!

So why get off Facebook? In examining my heart, I realize the sin is in my heart, not in Facebook or social media. I need to repent of what is going on in my heart. Just getting off Facebook will not make this struggle disappear -- nor has it! However, as an analogy, an alcoholic should not purposely go to a bar just to “hang out.” We pray that the Lord would not lead us into temptation, so why walk into temptation and see if God is really going to deliver us? I am choosing not to enter an area in which I know I will be tempted to compare and become discontent. I have a Redeemer who gave His life to set me free from the sin of comparison and discontentment.

I guess in closing, I am not asking anyone to follow in my footsteps and kiss social media goodbye. If anyone were going to take anything from what I have said (if anyone even reads this!), I would say be careful what you post. Take the old adage, “Think before you speak,” and apply it to the area of social media.

If anyone wants to comment on this, call me or email me. I will not be checking for likes or comments.

However, when Tasti-Lee tomato season rolls around, I will be making the exception of using Facebook for business reasons only! So until then, enjoy these pictures of my happy, smiling blessings!

Ryan's fake 40 surprise balloons -- the ECS middle school teachers helped me pull off the biggest prank for his actual 39th birthday. We had a lot of fun, and Ryan even enjoyed all the attention and humor!