Little by little, we are adjusting to being a party of five around here. I'm feeling a little better and a little stronger every day. Ally is such a good baby. I think she has her days and nights mixed up, but if we can reverse that, she is going to be the easiest baby ever! Ryen and Maddie love to snuggle with her and sing her songs. They are so sweet with her. I'm half afraid to say it because I don't want to jinx us, but things are starting to finally chill around here. I feel so appreciative for the small "normal" things I'm rediscovering in my life.

Thank you Vonique for the GORGEOUS flowers you sent! They made me so happy!

Right now I am supposed to be resting. My mom took Ryen and Maddie to swimming lessons, Sonny is at work, Ally is sleeping. The house is so quiet. Sitting here, I can't help thinking about everything that has happened to me and our little family over the past year. We've been through a lot, but couldn't have gotten through any of it without my mom.

She had just moved into her new house and barely got it settled into when we asked her to leave it all behind and come to stay with us for a while. She has been our chef, our housekeeper, our nanny, and our moral support for months now. What a tremendous burden to ask someone to carry! It has been a truly humbling thing to see the way my mom has so selflessly sustained our family in my absence, and often Sonny's.

My mom was able to stay with me at the hospital during the labor and delivery. I know parts of that were agony for her, but I couldn't have made it through that experience without her. It has been one thing after another and she has been by my side through each and every trial. Since coming home from the hospital, I have gotten severely worse headaches which finally resulted in an ambulance ride and a spinal blood patch at the emergency room last night. As I was laying in one of the little rooms in the ER, I couldn't help thinking about my newborn at home and my other two sweet daughters. Because of my mom, they not only didn't even realize an ambulance had ever arrived at our house, but they had a wonderful evening watching "The Wizard of Oz" and playing with their Grammy. She was probably up most of the night worrying about me, but still got up with the girls first thing this morning, made them breakfast, and took them, giggling and squealing, to their swimming lessons. In times like these I become painfully aware of how inadequate the human language is. How can simple words like "I love you" or "thank you" possibly express the amount of love and gratitude I have for my mom? I don't think they really can. I guess all I can say to her is that one day, when she is very old, she will need someone to be her chef and maid and nanny. She'll need someone to drop everything and come take care of her. She'll need moral support and strength. When she does, I'll be there. (...But I'm hiring someone to change her diapers.)

Sonny and I left for the hospital a little after 5:00AM on Wednesday morning. We were scheduled to be induced so I thought they would get us in and get things moving along pretty quickly. That was not the case. I wasn't dilated at all and because of my previous C-section, they had to be very careful. (I know now that "careful" is hospital talk for SLOW.) They started me on a very low dose of Pitocin and bumped it up little by little. By late afternoon on Wednesday I was in labor, but it was a very slow process. I was relieved the next afternoon when I was far enough along to request an epidural. It took the anesthesiologist a few tries, but he finally got my epidural in... and then I blacked out. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but the next thing I knew I was being hit really hard on the back by the man who gave me the epidural and the room was swarming with people. Then I heard him say, "I found a pulse! I found a pulse!" For a brief while there, my poor husband thought he was losing his wife, as did the anesthesiologist- whom I refuse to feel sorry for because he ruined my epidural. After an hour or so, it became painfully clear that my epidural was ineffective. At some point, someone gave me shot of medicine in my IV line that helped for an hour or so, but besides that I was completely on my own. When it was finally time to push, it was discovered that the baby was facing the wrong way so they told me to lay on my side for an hour to see if she would shift on her own. Thankfully, she did, but that is an hour I don't ever want to think about again for the rest of my life. When a doctor came back to check on me, this time they discovered that my pubic bone (sorry to mention such things on a family blog, but I told you the details were gory) was obstructing the baby's exit route. It was determined that I could "push around it." Just one more fun challenge. There was no set doctor who seemed to be in charge of my delivery, but rather an endless stream of residents and interns who came and went as they felt the urge. After pushing for what felt like an eternity, it was my nurse who finally stepped in and delivered Allyson herself. The woman's name was Fran and I swear to you- she will live on in family lore for all of eternity. After 31 hours of labor, Allyson was born.

We really struggled with her name. I mean really. It wasn't until we were about to be discharged from the hospital that we finally filled out her birth certificate- much to the frustration of the hospital staff. :) She is named after her two great-grandmothers, Alice and Ida, both of whom I know were present at her birth.

Even though it's early to say, so far Ally is the perfect baby. Even when she was born, she barely cried. She is easy-going and has a gentle and loving little spirit. What an experience bringing her into this world has been!

So now I am once again out of the hospital. The doctors felt (with a little persuasion from a highly emotional pregnant mother) that I could go back to strict resting at home until they induce me next week. Honestly, I feel terrible health-wise, but I would rather feel terrible at home than terrible in a hospital- or anywhere else, for that matter. I've been through a lot. From eight IV attempts to being pumped full of magnesium- an anti-seizure medication that I don't even want to discuss, I have already surprised myself by what I am able to live through... and we haven't even gotten to the labor part yet! I'm scheduled to be induced next Wednesday morning unless something opens up on Tuesday. On the other hand, my preeclampsia may worsen before then and I will get induced earlier ...or I may just go into labor on my own. Who knows? This whole pregnancy has just been one roller coaster ride after another!

I just can't believe that my little Maddie is 3 years old! The night before her birthday, she and Ryen were up so late goofing around. I should have gone into their room and put the smack down, but instead a wave of nostalgia hit me right in the face and I ended up inviting my mischievous duo into bed with me instead. When we were all snuggled up together, I realized that at that exact moment, three years before, I was laying in that exact spot when my water broke. I told the girls how Sonny and I didn't know whether to panic or laugh- so we did both as we ran around like the house was on fire. We dropped Ryen off with some really great people from church and then Sonny FLEW me to the hospital at warp speed! I spent the night with my contractions and the next morning I was wheeled into surgery. (Madelyn was breech so we had to have a C-section.) It was scary and strange and not at all how I pictured bringing a child into the world. But... she was beautiful and she was here and she was mine. I am grateful for her dancing little spirit and the way it has lit up the minutes and hours and days of my life. How I love my little big girl!

We finished our 4th of July by walking to the end of our street to watch the fireworks. I was SO exhausted, but it was worth it. The weather cooled off and there was the most perfect little breeze. It's impossible to not feel so blessed in moments like those.

Our 4th of July was quite the extravaganza- thanks to my mom. You wouldn't believe the magical world she created for the event! No detail was overlooked. It was a party we won't be forgetting anytime soon, that's for sure! Madelyn felt so special and it was such a relief for me to see her having so much fun. I had really been worrying about her birthday since there is so little I am able to do these days. We'll still have her fancy tea party, but in the meantime, she is not hurting for lack of attention or excitement! What a BLAST!

My mom has planned a carnival to celebrate the 4th of July. It's going to be so fun! We've decided to combine it with Madelyn's 3rd birthday since there is a chance I may be in the hospital next week and unable to celebrate with her on The Big Day. I hope I can stay home though. We've planned a tea party for Maddie and I feel like I already miss so much. But, no matter what happens, our 4th (and Maddie's 3rd) is sure to be a seriously fun time! Hope you all have a smashing Independence Day!

Okay, seriously... Does anyone else feel like I have been pregnant for the last 20 years!?! I am SO ready for this baby to come out! We didn't take very many pictures when I was pregnant with Madelyn because I am NOT one of those stunning pregnant beauties you see on TV or in magazines. I swell up like a balloon and look like I got run over by a freight train. I'm like a cross between Shrek and a hippopotamus. (Sadly, it looks better than it feels.) I am coming up on 35 weeks now, so please pray that my doctors will grant me what I can only call a "mercy delivery." If this sweet little baby isn't born soon, I may riot.