I rolled out of bed today. Mom looked at me expectantly.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

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btw a song came to my mind suddenly. i learnt it in primary school, when my principal taught us to sing for the teachers on teachers day. i can't remember the title.

I hope people who are stressing out from studies or anything else in life feel better:

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile!
While you have lucifer to light your fag
Smile boys that's the style!
What's the use of worrying?
It never was worth while...
SO!
Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
and smile, smile, smile!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

ive grown so much since last year (NO! NOT in the physical way!!!)... im kinda impressed by myself.

im glad of everything that happened in my life, because nothing bad came out of it. ive got wonderful friends, met horrible people whom ive learnt to disregard and learn so much from everything.

most importantly, ive come to know how crucial control of oneself is. control is the most difficult thing to do, but it is also really simple once you get it. im glad i found my control.

i really miss everyone who ive spent the most wonderful times with and also with who im hanging out with now... i guess in real life people are basically nice, unlike those movies, serials and melodramatic plays that we read and watch everytime.

and i think to myself... what a wonderful world...

the reason why i havent been blogging is because of THIS!

i think there's abt 3 weeks or so before the prelims. gotta start soon... the others are scaring me with their massive mugging.

HMM... LOOKS LIKE THERES SOME OCCASSION ON 5 MORE DAYS... I WONDER WHAT ISSIT? *HINT HINT*

mom stubbed her finger real bad... there's this big bandage on her fourth finger. (what's the 4th finger called anyway?) now im assuming the filial daughter role once again... just to make things easier for her...

anyways ive been a real bad girl... ive been a pirate! hint hint. *sniggers* i found out ive a strong liking for british bands, or bands with the australian/british accent... they sound so nice man.


my Goh-dilocks! 

down with LHL!!!!

yo pple... this is bananaman's webpage! he's a joke, and i find him pathetic.

anyways... quite a big eruption from joan today... after the weekly cheng teng session just now, we trashed everything out from everyone and sorted out what actually happened with regards to the someone.

i think i should not mention the name though its not a secret anymore but i still feel that he is quite sway lah... telling different things to different people is normal... but telling different things to different people of the same group is another thing altogether. i feel quite sad for him la...

anyways. what kind of swearing in session was that?!?! come on, what the fucking hell was zoe tay and fann wong doing there?!? its totally crazy! and HELLO?!? wad OUTDOOR ceremony is that?!? what if it had rained?!? its totally not formal looking and this new PM is maximum BS. such a wannabe. he carries children, he smiles fakishly, he conducts an orchestra (ong teng cheong wannabe) what else is in his sleeves?!?

i still love my Goh-dilocks...

honestly, i have NO excitement in national day. why?

-PM Goh is leaving
-LHL is going to take over
-prelims are coming
-im not prepared
-im still fat

this is the first time my family didnt hang the stupid flag. does this mean something? i think singapore is the only country where the citizens feel so strongly against the country. esp for teenagers.

tell me, who actually sings the national anthem and takes the pledge with unmost pride everyday?!? we either use the time to close our eyes and take a wink or we just stone completely.

there's no NE lessons, and even if there is, its a lousy one and everyone, even the teachers will be slacking and everyone wants to get it over and done with. wait. what teachers? many are from overseas, not to mention the students. why the hell would they want to feel patriotic?!?

in kindergarden we trick the kids by giving them singapore flags with sweets in the pole, so that when they wave the flags frantically trying to get the sweets out, adults interpret it as excitement and happiness.

in primary school they can still cheat us by making us draw the singapore flag and enter competitions so everyone tries to be number one.

be number one. yes. thats when the reality strikes us. what EM1, EM2, EM3... (now they try to make things look nicer by merging 2 and 3) some stupid band 1 2 3 4, WHATEVER. PSLE.
so if you get under 220 you're a goner. if you get more than 240 you're average. if you get 250 and above ooh. you're good. but not gd enuf. 260 is good. and 270 and above would be sufficient to get you to top schools. SO WHAT?

in secondary sch its another aimless rush. isnt the best thing in sec sch the friends and sometimes, the teachers? just keep doing TYS, practice practice, occasionally if you are good at the subject, you'll think that "YES. i LOVE the subject, its my FAVE subject!" its totally not because you REALLY like it.

you like chemistry. oh really? do you know what it is actually? WHY do you like the subject? is it because you ALWAYS get the answers correct? is it because you like adding chemicals with each other and identifying the right effervescent? is there REALLY a noble reason why you like it? i dont think so.

you like maths. WHY? because you like getting the most difficult questions right by using the formula that you've memorised?? who's REALLY interested to know how formulas are derived by whom and by which theory? in a time like the O and A-levels, who really has the time to find out such stuff?

so in JC you'll think oh those in poly seldom make it. and those in poly will think oh most of those in JC are stuck up shits. and those in ITE will think oh those in JC AND poly are fuckers. if you're good, you either get better or maintain it, if you're ok, you're ok. if you're lousy, no one cares about you.

so what now?

watched "the return", the russian movie with mel yesterday. its like, one of the best shows ive ever watched. at first after the movie it was so overwhelming that i needed to take some time and think about the film. PLEASE PLEASE everybody, go and watch it!

some issues in the movie:
-russia's shift from communism
-role of the male/female in russian society
-biblical perversion
-illusion/reality
-family structure
-responsibility of men

there were LOADS of religious references in the movie, with a tiny weeny supernatural occurance that freaked me out, and these two things made it slightly gothic. it was wonderful cos of the acting of the boys. a zillion thumbs up!

i think the most horrifying part was when joel told me Vladimir Garin (the elder brother) died after the film finished. in the VERY SAME lake that they filmed in. apparently he drowned after being taunted by some silly girls daring him to swim across the bloody lake. STUPID BOY.
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today's andy's 18th bdae, happy bdae! bought for him a "ou de yang" CD. whoever THAT is?!? must be some ugly chinese singer. anyways, i wrote at the back of the CD:

"qing zhi chi zhen ban. xie xie ni de zhi chi. -ocean, de yang"
(please support original. thank you for your support. -ocean"

apparently i got him to believe its really the guy himself who autographed it and we managed to get it imported. but i revealed the truth an hour ago. i was afraid he might sell it on e-bay or something.
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