The Mind Won't Rest

I so hate the heat, roll on autumn and winter. I would take these months over summer any day. I find I just get grumpy and tired when it gets too hot and that not someone who I want to be. And my diet has gone out the window a bit with all this heat. I am not eating too badly, but the exercise isn't happening. Hopefully when the weather settles a bit it will be easier to get back into it properly.
I have joined a birthday card swap and am really looking forward to seeing the cards that I will receieve. i have until March I think it is, but have made a head start on making the ones that I have chosen. My only worry is that they might be a little too amatuerish. But oh well I am sure they will be fine and I am having fun making them so that is something. I am really aiming at getting into some swaps and some more challenges this year.
I am going to start a BOM as well and I think it will be good for me to remember stuff and maybe even deal with some stuff while I am doing it.
I have found a little bit of my old confidence again it would appear, as I finally started asking questions and not just agreeing with thing because I feel like I should. It might not be a good thing so much as in some people may not like the confrontational, assertive type me. But I think is maybe a good sign.
We are heading off camping for Australia day weekend with some close friends, which will be fun except for the fact that the forcast is predicting hot and possible rain for the weekend. Fingers crossed it is not too bad. But I must say I am really looking forward to it.
The picture is of a LO I have done about Brad at creche over the last 2 1/2 years and is one of my favourites that I have done. Still pretty simple though. I would love to make my LO's more elaborate, but just not sure how I go about it. I know it should be easy enough but just doesn't seem to come to me very easily. Maybe with time....

I feel like I have crashed. I feel flat and exhausted and want to cry.
I think I might know whats causing it and hopefully it won't be too long and I will be back to happy me again. :)
I spent an hour in the garden this morning, and had an intersting time as the police were out the front with a breathaliser and they nabbed 2 people (at 10 am in the morning!!)
We then went for a walk to the post office and then I went back out into the garden for about half hour this afternoon. I think there is probably only another couple hours work out there!!! without the edging that Gareth will do this weekend.
I love our garden, but the upkeep - wow - I have never really been into gardening much though.
I am still waiting for the dreaded phone call from RE agent to say she is coming to inspect :( So not looking forward to that. I am going to do the carpets this weekend. and if we get the garden done, then at least the inside won't take me too long as it will only be a matter of picking up thekids toys and putting them away and a general straighten up. Everything else is in order pretty much. I am really going to try and not stress about it so much this time around.
Easier said than done lol

I went for my monthly visit with the doctor and I have put on 100gms since dec 10th. But I figure that isn't too bad considering we had xmas between then and now. But back on track, I have walked every day and am still eating well and have got the snacking under control. (I think)
But she also told me that she is going away for a year :( Just when I find a doctor I like she goes away!! She has recommended another doctor (her replacement) though and told me that I can now drop back to 3 monthly visits as I appear to have a grip on things now.
Well I jumped on my scales this morning and I showed I was 75kg, which is another loss, so I am happy.
Sian had her follow up hearing test today and her left ear is still (or again) congested and her results on that side were not great, right side is perfect though. So we are back there again in 4 months to have her left retested yet again. Fingers crossed that it is nothing but a cold symptom (she had a cold last week).
Gareth has done a budget for us for the next 12 months. Fingers crossed that my will power kicks in and I can actually stick to it, because if I can, we will be alot better off next year than we are now :) thats always a good thing!!
Kerryn and I have been talking about what to do with the fundraising this year and she suggested that the team get together soon so that she can introduce herself to everyone (she is co ordinator) but so that we can all get to know one another too. I am really looking forward to this year and being on a committee (well support team anyway).

DH bless his soul got up with the kids this morning and let me have a sleep in. yay!! Brekkie in bed followed (raisin toast, OK and coffee) and he told me to take my time and get up when I am ready, because Sian had gone back to bed and Brad was being good. I thought it might be a good time to catch up on some reading!! 1130 I decided I had better get up and face the world. DH went to mow the lawns while I organized lunch, we then went out and I got some really great photos of the kids (at least I think they are) playing with their new totem tennis set and their slide from last year. Can't wait to get that colour cartridge so I can print some photos!!
This afternoon I went out for a walk by myself and thoroughly enjoyed it. I must say I am really feeling enthusiastic about losing this excess weight I have. (helps that DH promised me a shopping spree when I reach my goal weight!!) Current weight 76kg - aim 56kg

I really hope the trend of the last few days is going to continue well into my future :) At the moment I feel I have the right attitude, as long as I can keep from falling back into my slump.

that means Gareth is home for 2 days and we can all spend some time together, after mowing lawns and doing some gardening LOL.
I have had another pretty good day, this morning I went over to my best friends place so that our boys (and girls) could have a play together. I must say the boys are a handful when they are together (and when they are not sometimes) I didn't feel too stressed, but felt sorry for Kerryn who is not well at the moment. The boys were being poops and it wasn't helping. I kinda feel guilty that we stayed as long as we did, but I haven't seen Kerryn myself for over 2 weeks and was really enjoying our catch up. I hope she is better soon, it's horrible when you don't feel the best, I am thankful that I finally got rid of my cough/cold that I had before Christmas.
Dinner tonight was Coq au vin and turned out well. Kinda surprised about that because half way through cooking I went to get my corn flour to add and when picking up the canister a huge huntsman decided to crawl across my hand, now I am and always have been a massive aracnaphobe, so here is me screaming and dancing my way across the kitchen and telling DH to get it!! By the time he got there it had disappeared, but I wasn't going anywhere close until he got it, so we were in a standoff. DH decided to spray with the spider spray. So I was kinda happy with that and went back to cooking. Then..... as I was serving dinner I hear DH say, don't freak, of course I knew what he was going to say, I was just praying it wasn't on me. Thankfully it wasn't but still sent me racing to the other side of the room. He then caught it and I could relax finally!! Funny thing is that Kerryn and I were only talking about one that was in my letterbox today and I said I hope that when I bought the mail in the other day that it wasn't in amongst it and then this happened. Coincidence maybe??
Anyway I walked again today and have stayed on track for Day 4 so I am proud of myself, will be happier when it is week 4 and I am still on track though.
Tonight I managed to clean a little bit of my scrap space and have decided I seriously need to get a storage/organization system in place. I also got half the circle journal entry done and although simple I am really pleased with it.
Now I think it's bedtime - I hope tomorrow is as productive as today.

I am struggling to work out quite why I am so tired all the time. I seem to be getting between 6 & 8 hours sleep a night and still find myself tired during the day. The last couple of nights Brad has woken during the night. Strange for him. Maybe it's adjusting to being back home after nearly 2 weeks at my mum & dad's.
I really want to make a start on the circle journal entry that I need to do, but due to feeling tired I can't seem to motivate myself. (And needing a new cartridge for the printer LOL)
The kids and I have had a pretty good day today :)
Sian went back to bed at 830 this morning much to Brad's disappointment. But it gave me some cleaning and forum time so that was good. Once Sian woke up we all had some lunch (mine slimfast and a nectarine, Day 3 and still on track, yay!) and then went for a walk around to the shop. Brad decided he was sad because he thinks he is big enough to cross the road without holding my hand. I tried to explain that I don't want him to get hurt, but it didn't work and he told me he was a big boy and can do it himself. He is growing up too fast!! I am too wary to let him cross without holding my hand, especially as we were witness to a pedestrian accident last week. :(
We got home and had some quiet time, with Sian going back to bed and Brad falling asleep in front of the telly watching Monsters Inc. (yay mummy quiet time) I could have scrapped, I should have scrapped LOL, but I didn't I used time to read forums and have a quiet coffee. Oh well there is always tomorrow.
I am trying to stick to making healthy recipes from the weight watchers book, so tonight we are having a very yummy tasting Beef Goulash. I think tomorrow night I might try out the Coq au Vin recipe mmmmmmmmmm m.
Threshold on TV tonight, so I might even move some scrapping stuff to the lounge and have a go in there, or not... :)

I have read and heard so much about blogs and blogging and it all sounds great, I thought maybe I should give it a go.
A New Year and some new adventures. It might be a good way for me to make sense of my moods. I have decided this year I want to lose 20kg, get myself back into shape so I CAN wear those really gorgeous clothes that I look at longingly every time I walk into a shop.

I want to get my 'happy' persona back and think I need to look at ways to escape my depression.(if thats the right term) I think every time I visit my mum and dad I decide I don't want to end up as bad as my dad. Don't get me wrong I love him dearly, but he can be such a grump, it seems he has more bad days than good.I worry for my mum, it really is alot for her to cope with. Dad no longer works, and almost appears to have forgotten the value of the $$. Mum works 5 days a week, and has given up most of her little pleasures. Anyway.....

New Year aims for me would be Happy, Healthy and to improve my scrapping skills
Looking forward to turning over a new leaf this year.