I had what I would say, a humiliating experience. I went to the bank today to do some banking. The teller looked like he was 16 complete with braces & blue bands on them. Nice. Anyway, I couldn't understand him because of the braces plus he was chewing gum at the same time. I told him, "You know, I'm having a hard time understanding you because you're chewing gum at the same time you're talking. I'm hard-of-hearing so please either spit out the gum so I can understand you or get me another teller to assist me." He just looked at me and TUCKED the gum in his cheek and repeated what he said. At that point, I was mad - and the curse in my family is... when we're mad, we start crying. Oy vey. It didn't help that the other tellers just stood there and stared at me too. Not once did they offer to help, not once did they even just nudge my teller to do something, NOTHING! I was so mad because it just brought up all my insecurities of being deaf trying to fit in some way. Argh.
As it stood, I left without completing my transaction. I just left and thought nasty things to write in a letter to the bank manager. Now... whether I'll follow through with that is another story. With a very predictable ending of: she didn't do it. *sigh*
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Um... there should be 16, not 11.
Not that I've even kissed any of these boys/men except for #11 - which would be my hubby, (see Men I've loved blog) but I suddenly remembered that there were other guys who have impacted me in some way in my life. Let me add to the list.
9a. Michael. Lol - I moved up from Mike to Michael! Seriously though, I didn't love him. My mother actually got me to write to him as he was serving a church mission and he was deaf and he was from Seattle. We pen-palled for a year or so. He came home and wanted to marry me. Kept asking me over and over and over. It was always in the company of others and... I think he was just a lonely guy. Last I heard, he's still not married.
9b. "First, you move your thumb." I met this guy during a local production of "My Fair Lady." He was one of the characters in the musical and he was studying his alphabet sign during rehearshal. I happened to walk by and noticed he was doing them wrong so I offered to show him the correct way. Since then, he became my best friend. He helped me shed the shyness & angst that I suffered through highschool. We had a blast together for a few years and then he went on his way. I have some awesome memories of our time spent together.
10b. Brent. He used to have a purple suit. Was a loner but always hung around me. He once tried to take me on a date on a ferry. We got to the dock late so - apparently we missed the ferry that would "ride off into the sunset." Hm. So, we went on a passenger ferry that doesn't have observation decks. He took me to the end of the ferry and he tried to make it a romantic thing by pointing out the sunset through a 12-inch open window. Um.... ok. Things just went downhill for him I guess. Me - I love ferry rides so it didn't bother me, besides, when I can't figure out what's going on as to the other person's intentions? Fuhgeht about it. Anyhoo - then I noticed that he only wanted to talk about my friend Buffy. About the mistakes she was making in the guy she was dating. You know... call me crazy, I just don't think that's really conducive to setting up a relationship with me.
10c. Skippy. We fought a lot... but in a nice way... and through letters. He had me meet him at the airport during one of his transfers. He also had me meet his family while he was gone. Lovely family and awesome friend.
10d. Danny-boy. While we didn't have any interest in each other beyond just being friends, he became one of my best friends. We would talk for hours and hours. He taught me the power of reflection.
Well, there you have it. I'm sure there are others but really... not as consequential as the ones I've listed. They have all in some way taught me things about myself and helped me to be more aware of others.
9a. Michael. Lol - I moved up from Mike to Michael! Seriously though, I didn't love him. My mother actually got me to write to him as he was serving a church mission and he was deaf and he was from Seattle. We pen-palled for a year or so. He came home and wanted to marry me. Kept asking me over and over and over. It was always in the company of others and... I think he was just a lonely guy. Last I heard, he's still not married.
9b. "First, you move your thumb." I met this guy during a local production of "My Fair Lady." He was one of the characters in the musical and he was studying his alphabet sign during rehearshal. I happened to walk by and noticed he was doing them wrong so I offered to show him the correct way. Since then, he became my best friend. He helped me shed the shyness & angst that I suffered through highschool. We had a blast together for a few years and then he went on his way. I have some awesome memories of our time spent together.
10b. Brent. He used to have a purple suit. Was a loner but always hung around me. He once tried to take me on a date on a ferry. We got to the dock late so - apparently we missed the ferry that would "ride off into the sunset." Hm. So, we went on a passenger ferry that doesn't have observation decks. He took me to the end of the ferry and he tried to make it a romantic thing by pointing out the sunset through a 12-inch open window. Um.... ok. Things just went downhill for him I guess. Me - I love ferry rides so it didn't bother me, besides, when I can't figure out what's going on as to the other person's intentions? Fuhgeht about it. Anyhoo - then I noticed that he only wanted to talk about my friend Buffy. About the mistakes she was making in the guy she was dating. You know... call me crazy, I just don't think that's really conducive to setting up a relationship with me.
10c. Skippy. We fought a lot... but in a nice way... and through letters. He had me meet him at the airport during one of his transfers. He also had me meet his family while he was gone. Lovely family and awesome friend.
10d. Danny-boy. While we didn't have any interest in each other beyond just being friends, he became one of my best friends. We would talk for hours and hours. He taught me the power of reflection.
Well, there you have it. I'm sure there are others but really... not as consequential as the ones I've listed. They have all in some way taught me things about myself and helped me to be more aware of others.
Monday, June 25, 2007
All the men I have loved... okay, boys really except for #11.
- Mike. He was a 3 year old boy in my class who was deaf. I loved him! He had brown curly hair and the cutest smile. I remember at one point that he came to class in pretty much a full-body cast. Why? His dad didn't want a son that was deaf so he set the house on fire with Mike in it. It was the first time I experienced grief that my beloved friend Mikey would hurt so badly. And I also felt confusion as to why somebody's dad would do such a thing to their own child. Pretty deep for a 3 year old.
- Mark. I met him in elementary school. I was in Kindergarten and he was in 2nd grade. We were boy/girl-friends for the next 3 years. It was nothing more than chasing & saving each other in Tag. We would also hang out after school by the principal's office waiting for my bus. Oh... and he called me. "Foxy."
- Joe. I met him when I was mainstreamed into a "hearing" school. We were somehow always assigned to be desk partners. Our form of showing each other that we had a crush on each other was by always one-upping each other on what our mom's could bake. "My mom makes cinnamon rolls. " "Oh yeah? Well my mom can bake bread." Later, when we went into 6th grade, he had a 45 (that's a record) that played "Put Another Dime in the Jukebox Baby." He would play that during our lunch break... over and over and over again. It's a miracle that our teacher Mrs. Woodman didn't just break the darn thing!
- Mike. Another deaf boy who I met during Deaf Arts Camp. I liked him... but I liked a guy Mark better (What's up with the Mark/Mike thing?) Mark was ultra-cool, guess he would be a skater in today's world. Anyway... Mike... well, he made a literal bust of me in our pottery class. Literally. Boobs included. I was mortified and could barely look at him. Hello - we're supposed to be making coil-pots, remember?
- Red-head guy. I met him when I was 14 and he was 16. The attraction between us was WHOA! I SO wanted to be his girlfriend and apparently, he wanted to be my boyfriend. But... a friend of mine (ha, not anymore then) did um... favors for him so they ended up being the couple. I was heart-broken because we made a cute couple and we had so much FUN together. *sigh* But... doing "favors?" Um... no.
- Casey. I met him the same time I met the Red-head. He was a leader like I was. We gathered the gang together to have tea in the morning before early-morning exercise at Whidbey Island. (This is Deaf Arts Camp thing again, I went every year for 5 years.) We had a great time together. I later found out after several years that he's gay. Ah well.
- Ricky. Ah... here's HOTNESS. We were both 16. He was nice to me, hung out with me & my friends... but *sigh* he wasn't interested in me. But... this is the first time I realized that the smell of a certain shaving cream is sexy. Hm!
- Mike... again. Remember the dude in # 4? Yeah, I met up with him again and we became interested in each other and he did the moves of putting his arm around me but that's as far as it went. I guess the stars were not in my favor to ever get kissed by a boy.
- Craig. I SO thought we had a connection. Then... I realized he had a thing for my friend Suzy and he in a way, used me to get close to her. Stupid man-boy. He got my hopes up when he invited me over to bake cookies with him. We went grocery shopping and went to his apartment. We baked cookies and then he made me a sandwich... with horseradish on it. I almost threw up. Then he puts the cookies in a bowl and asked his roommate Jeff to take me home. He was on his way to deliver these cookies to another girl.... Ya. I crashed & burned on that one.
- Rocker-man. This is a special one. It was really the first time that somebody would watch out for me. Protect me from harm in any shape or form. I have a special place in my heart for him... I loved him and he loved me but we didn't love each other in the same way. I loved him as a friend. He loved me more. Hmm... I may just have to write about him some day as he deserves more than just a bullet-point note here.
- Hubby. He helped me lock up a building one night after volleyball when I was there by myself. It took him all summer to get the nerve to ask me out on a date, but it happened. He was the first man... alright... the only one of the male sex, to kiss me. We literally had sparks when our lips touched for the first time. We married 7 months later. Still married 12 years later. I've truly been blessed with him being in my life.
For the lack of ANYTHING to read... I picked up... my journal. Yes, I know - weird. Besides dealing with the guilt that I have not been faithful in writing, I found that I also had to deal with embarrassment from some of my writings. I found myself blushing and my eyes tearing up because I was mortified at my shallowness & immaturity that were rather BLATANT in some of the entries. Good grief... Seriously, it got to the point that I put it away so I wouldn't have to confront the issues that I apparently had. *sigh*
My hubby once asked me not too long ago if I would ever let him read my journals. I promptly told him no as thoughts raced through my head like, he'd see that I cursed a lot, that I had major crushes on bad boys, and that I was basically a dork. I asked him why he would want to and he told me it would let him learn more about me. Um.... no. I want him to just keep "knowing" me as this incredibly sophisticated, loving, beautiful, humble woman that he married. No need to go into my past when I was still working out the kinks of being who I am... not that I've got it all figured out now but no need to go into that!
My hubby once asked me not too long ago if I would ever let him read my journals. I promptly told him no as thoughts raced through my head like, he'd see that I cursed a lot, that I had major crushes on bad boys, and that I was basically a dork. I asked him why he would want to and he told me it would let him learn more about me. Um.... no. I want him to just keep "knowing" me as this incredibly sophisticated, loving, beautiful, humble woman that he married. No need to go into my past when I was still working out the kinks of being who I am... not that I've got it all figured out now but no need to go into that!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Last night, my husband and I watched the 2004 MiniSeries "North & South" with Richard Armitage & Daniela Denby-Ashe.
After watching the INCREDIBLY romantic ending of the movie, my hubby turns to me and says, "We should go on a train ride..." Ooh! I'm good with that, I thought to myself. He continues, "We should go on a Pullman...and take the kids, they'd have fun!" Uh... the whole prospect of taking what should be a romantic trip with my hubby, and taking the kids? Good grief. I called him a goober and went to bed. *sigh* Why would we want to take the kids on a train ride where we could have a romantic time... just like Mr. Thornton and Margaret Hale?
*sigh*
Monday, June 04, 2007
Stupid yogurt cups...
So. Ya. It all started with trying to be "eco-friendly." I was simply peeling off the little bit of foil around the rim of a yogurt cup when I got sliced on my thumb. It wouldn't stop bleeding for an hour. Hmph. Crabby. Anyway, it's my left thumb so - really, don't use it too much to notice it hurting or not. Then... a few days later, same deal... kinda sorta. I was just peeling the plastic lid off and I get sliced AGAIN! This time, on my forefinger, right on the very tippy-top. That cut didn't bleed for an hour - but... now it HURTS! I can't hardly use it when I type or play the piano so I try to compensate by using my fingernail. That doesn't really work either. Shipoopie. What's really lame is... it's been 4 days since slicing my forefinger and it hurts as if I had just cut it.
Stupid yogurt cups.
Stupid yogurt cups.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Smells of Summer...
With the weather having been (and continues to be) in the 80's, I thought I'd list my favorite summer-time smells...
1. Coppertone sunblock - slathered on my kids, just love it!
2. Hawaiian Tropic Suntan Oil - c'mon, who can resist the smell of coconut?
3. Ripe strawberries, peaches, pineapple - or should I just say FRUIT?! Yum!
4. Ocean - how grateful I am to live near beaches! (MARINA BEACH ROCKS!)
5. Fresh waffle-cones - just love it... especially with chocolate ice-cream :)
Friday, June 01, 2007
J'aime le parfum...mais trop de parfum est stinky!
My sis-in-law and I went to a department store to see about trying new perfumes. How come nobody ever told me that you can ask them to make you small samples! Argh! I've always just got those perfume strips in magazines and rubbed them on my wrist and called it good! Yet... more often than not, I would hate the perfume because it didn't really mesh well with my body chemistry. Zut alors! What a waste of money! *sigh* ANYHOO - long story even longer... My friend warns me not to like Gucci 2 because she likes it and is going to get a sample to try out at home. Which brought up the whole discussion of perfumes & colognes and the association they carry. That being for example, I can't have my husband wear certain colognes that I know his Dad & his brother wears. I just don't want the connection! So - besides being on a quest for a new perfume for myself, I'm now on one for my husband. My husband used to wear Drakkar but 5 minutes after putting it on, it no longer "works." I'm feeling quite meloncholy about it as I love it, good memories....
But! I digress! (I love that word, 'digress.') We ran the whole gamut of smelling, squirting, smelling the perfumes. I secretly am liking the Gucci 2 but, out of....whatever, I won't try that one out. The whole association thing, you know?
The results of the perfume detective work is that I have 3 samples. 1) DKNY-Red Delicious, 2) DKNY-Green Apple (-?) and 3) Shi. At first whiff, I'm thinking #3 might be the winner as it's a little reminiscent of my current (hahahah - the one I've been wearing for about 15 years!) perfume which is Oscar de la Renta.
But! I digress! (I love that word, 'digress.') We ran the whole gamut of smelling, squirting, smelling the perfumes. I secretly am liking the Gucci 2 but, out of....whatever, I won't try that one out. The whole association thing, you know?
The results of the perfume detective work is that I have 3 samples. 1) DKNY-Red Delicious, 2) DKNY-Green Apple (-?) and 3) Shi. At first whiff, I'm thinking #3 might be the winner as it's a little reminiscent of my current (hahahah - the one I've been wearing for about 15 years!) perfume which is Oscar de la Renta.
What the dickens?
My hubby asked me the other day, "What does it mean when one says, 'Hurts like the dickens?' What does 'dickens' mean?" Um.... I don't know and I'm afraid to examine it too closely to figure it out. The only thing that popped into my head was Charles Dickens. But... why would one refer to his last name as a meaning of some sort of pain? Was he a painful person? Or was it that his writings painful? In either case, it seems... stupid. Any thoughts?
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