La la la laaaahhhh!

Dear Paula Deen,
I just wanted to take a moment and let you know that I truly love you more than m'luggage. You melt my butter. You sizzle my chops. (Like that last one? I came up with that.) I just... am a little sad. Perhaps even a little mopy.


You see, I was watching your show the other day and fell in love with the measuring cups you were using. The Tin Woodsman ones? I LOVE THEM!






So I set out to find them online. And that's when I became down in the dumps. You see, $179.95 is just a wee bit too much. I get that they're pewter. I get that they were designed for you. But... I'm a Stay-At-Home-Mom who is on a limited budget and while I would almost die for them, I'm going to have to file it away as one of those things I'd like to have when I've been reincarnated as a wealthy woman. And as I don't believe in reincarnation, it's just not going to happen. Alas and alack.


Anyway, love you. Love your shows. Keep melting that butter!


Truly,
sariqd aka random woman who covets loves your measuring cups.

Ick.

Things are a little shaky now that I'm no longer on my happy pills...

But I'm determined to pull through it.

Through running.

It's interesting to see that when I don't run, I think about it a LOT.

Don't get me wrong - I still have the "I don't feel like going, I'm too cold/tired, I just wanna stay home, wah-wah-wah" battle EVERY time I'm scheduled to go running with my friend.

But once I get going - I'm finding that I'm liking it.

The feeling of my lungs opening up and taking in all that fresh air.

The feeling of my heart working and getting stronger.

The sense of accomplishment each time I can go for longer stretches.

The feeling of finding balance... in my thoughts and emotions.

I really am hoping and praying that through this, I won't have a need to go back on those happy little things.

I'm hoping that I won't be stupid in not recognizing if I need that extra help again and getting it.

Btw - I do have an excellent support system in the form of Hero who is helping me recognize when things are sliding and when things are going well.

I love him.

Now, if somebody could just talk to Mother Nature about cranking up the heat a little bit? That would help a great deal too!

Arizona is looking mighty fine.... ;)

You know what is so AWESOME but LAME at the same time?

I bought some shirts just a short while ago.

But they're now too big for me.

I fit in old clothes from way back when.

But they're dated-looking.

I'm losing inches.

But I swear the weight is just settling around my hips.

I've had no pop for a week.

But I still fight the craving for "fizz."

I now experience euphoria when running.

But I still want to pass out from huffing & puffing.

I (mostly) don't care if people see me running anymore.

But I still get a little embarrassed running in front of others.

That's it for today. Go! And do! Get moving!

I did something today that I thought I would never, ever, in a million yearssssss do.

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I told my friend how much I weighed.

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And?

It was incredibly freeing.

Really!

Because I was actually proud of the # I'm at now. You see, at my heaviest ever in my life I weighed THIS MUCH.  And now I'm down to THIS MUCH!

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I guess I'm not ready to share with the blog-world those numbers.

So trust me. It really was an incredible feeling to share my before & after numbers with my friend.

So, remember how awesome I was feeling after day 2 of running? That afternoon I got hit with the worst headache ever. And believe me, as a migraine-girl, I know what I'm talking about. We went over to Hero's parent's house so I could take a hot bath (they have a huge tub) for my achy legs and uh oh... I got sick. I was sick until the next morning. Then had absolutely no energy to do anything.

While I was resting a lot on my bed the next day, my beautiful 8yo daughter took it upon herself to take care of her brothers. At one point, she brought the baby up and said he was a little too much for her to handle so I told her that I would get up but just give me a couple of minutes to get my head together. She looked at me and said, "Mom? You know what? You can nap again. He'll be fine. I've got it."

*sniff* That was a very mature thing she did. I felt very proud of her and also humbled in that she recognized how much it helped me to be able to rest and not have to worry about the kids. I just love that sweet girl of mine so much!!!

Now, tomorrow - we're running again. I'm looking forward to it. A little scared that I'll pass out or fall down but honestly looking forward to it. I'm doing something that I never thought I'd do. RUNNING. Not only is it great for my health, it is great for my emotional well-being. I feel as though... I'm gaining power back. Power to be ME. To fight off the vestiges of depression that had me feeling powerless, sad and lonely. Smiles come naturally to my face instead of having to make a conscious effort to plant one on.

It. Is. Awesome.

I hate jogging... or running. Yet, I'm doing it. Today marks day TWO of aforesaid activity. And my legs hurt. That good kind of hurt. Except for when I have to go up the stairs. That doesn't feel so good.

You know what else I've noticed? I'm not so cranky with the kids. I'm feeling content happier. I feel like things are within reach and that just rocks!

Who knew exercise could feel so good? Outside of the walking up the stairs part, I mean.

Ha.

What are you doing to get those endorphins going?

So my thoughts are just rambling in 37 different directions.

I was at a dance for Young Adults and when a guy friend came into the gym. My eyes about popped out of my head. He wore OshKosh B'Gosh overalls that were not only too small (read: tight in places that should not be tight) but YELLOW.

SUNSHINE yellow.

Really?

I still shudder when I have a flashback to that moment.

Did I mention that he asked me to marry him 5 times?

Oh, I didn't?

Huh.

I said "no" five times too.

Criminy, I wouldn't even let the guy kiss me and we were NEVER alone together.

He wasn't a bad guy.

Just... odd.


Hmm.

My husband is out of town and I'm missing him.

He asked me to marry him twice.

I said "yes" both times.

And I'm very happy that he has never had a pair of yellow OshKosh B'gosh overalls.

Hurry home, Hero! I don't like when you're out of town on business.