sa tabi ng dagat: agosto 2006

miércoles, agosto 30, 2006

oh men

martes, agosto 29, 2006

mondays are for abandon

but friends stay with you all throughout.

from naya's blog:

"On the outskirts of Havana, they call friends mi tierra, my country, or mi sangre, my blood.

In Caracas, a friend is mi pana, my bread, or mi llave, my key: pana from panaderia, bakery, the source of wholesome bread to sate the hunger of the soul; llave, from . . .

'Key, from key,' Mario Benedetti tells me.

And he tells how, when he lived in Buenos Aires in times of terror, he would carry five alternate keys on his key ring: the keys to five houses, to five friends: the keys that proved his salvation."

- Eduardo Galeano

jueves, agosto 24, 2006

wow, in demand!

The Liberated Lover
72% partner focus, 57% aggressiveness, 60% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.

The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."

In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.

THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on partner focus
You scored higher than 99% on aggressiveness
You scored higher than 99% on adventurousness

feeling it

last saturday's party was a blast! to everyone who came, it was really great to see you. to those who didn't, well, sorry na lang. hehe.

i was happy to be with some of my favorite people as well as meet my husband's other friends (philo 143/college barkada, m-boys & girls aka poker friends). plus, avi met the best pinacolada ever with fresh buko juice, the soft flesh settling on the bottom of my glass. carlo and i must've split an entire pitcher.

alcohol count:
1 glass of sangria (too much apple)
3 glasses of pinacolada

augh. ang hina talaga. by the time i got home at around 2, i wasn't even anything close to tipsy. how sad! well, it's kinda difficult to focus on your drink when you have a party to attend to. when iyay arrived, i was still grilling quesadillas in the kitchen. but it's fun to play hostess and mingle with everyone. and it's funny, literally.

a guy in red was fumbling over the drinks area so i helped him out. and i asked him who he was (i love being blunt). it was toby, wappy's good friend. and he asked me how i was connected to avi. i grinned: i'm his girlfriend.

we really needed a shutterbug. i'm tired of being the person behind the camera. besides, i never said i was any good at it.

me, avi, and carlo with his fabulous pink lipgloss. i obviously did not take this picture.

i have a few shots on my multiply account. yes, they're dark and some are a little blurry but i'm too lazy to fix them up with photoshop. and if you're on multiply too, feel free to add me. wala lang. social networking chuva.

. . .

received an e-mail from vip this morning. apparently, some dude has posted my husband's poem on his LJ. quite flattering, i suppose, but i couldn't resist placing a comment. and since i must have some sort of (conjugal?) right to this poem, i'm posting it here, too.

Tulang Umiibig
R. Javier Bengzon

Hayaan mo't ihahayag ko nang buo:
iniibig kita.
Hindi tulad ng presyo ng bigas
o produktong petrolyo,
na tila walang humpay sa pagtaas-
baba, paglaki't pagliit.

Iniibig kita sa pamamagitan ng imahen at larawan,
na kailanman, hindi nagbabago
ng halaga.

Ipagpaumanhin kung ito lang
ang maialay ko ngayon:
nag-aaral pa lang, at wala pang kinikita.

Sa tuwing mauubusan ka
ng pamasahe,
hindi malaking sakripisyo
para sa akin ang ihatid ka pauwi,
gaano man kalayo
ang bahay mo sa amin.
Ang totoo'y higit pa sa kamahalan
ng limang litrong gasolina
ang bawat pintig ng puso,
samantalang magkapiling tayo.

Kung nagugutom ka,
pagbabaunan kita
ng ulam mula rito sa bahay.
Pagpasensiyahan mo na't kung minsan,
baka delata at kanin lamang
ang maihahain ko sa iyo,
gayong nagmamadali na't wala nang panahon upang magluto.
Umasa ka lang na hindi kita pinagdaramutan,
at kung ako ang masusunod,
araw-araw sana kitang pakakainin
ng lechon, paella,
o anuman ang iyong napupusuan.

Gayunpaman, ang lahat ng ito'y
mga pag-apuhap lamang sa
kung ano talaga ang pinakaiibig
kong sabihin:

na tumirik man ang sasakyan,
maubos man ang laman ng kaldero,
masaid na pati barya sa alkansya,

iniibig pa rin kita,
sa paraang hindi nagbabago ng halaga.

Published in Heights Seniors Folio, 2005

yes, sappy-sap-sap. needs some work, too. but i love my darling boy to itty-bitty little pieces. hahaha!

viernes, agosto 18, 2006

lingering

so yesterday was husband avi's 25th birthday. wow. a quarter of a century old. when i met this boy, he was just my age now. haha!

we had dinner at mezze in greenbelt. small plate dining is definitely my thing. we had the croquette sampler (very creamy, yum) and baby lamb burgers (a tad too much cumin). decided to save the wine for tomorrow evening. very nice ambiance and excellent service. go if you have the money and preferrably if you want a light yet filling meal.

he had wanted to see miami vice but the next movie screening was at 11 so we decided to see click instead.

omigod.

heavy!

i ended up weepy. *sniffle* kasi naman! you MUST watch it. not exactly a great movie but it's a must-see. well, medyo mababaw akong tao--it's so easy to make me laugh--but there are a lot of aww moments, too. plus, people at the office have been playing linger by the cranberries all week. they even had a jamming session with boss jonas (who wore a straw-cowboy-hat-thing for... wala lang).

(our office is sooo cool. how many of you guys have jammed with your boss? and have warcraft on your PCs? and watch dvds in your spare time? how many? huh?)

anywaaay. i gave him stuff I WILL BENEFIT from: lovely-smelling "sienna" shaving soap (in a pretty wooden bowl-case) and a canister of my favorite-st cinnamon butter cookies, all from crabtree and evelyn. i dragged my brother dave along when i shopped for them and he remarked that the soap was such a "pang-asawa" gift, whatever the hell that means. bakit ba? it's both practical and kikay. he loved it. now we have to go look for a shaving brush. rustan's, here we come!

happy birthday, my darling. here's to many more birthdays even better than this one.

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

jueves, agosto 17, 2006

fangirl mail

hi, den--many thanks for your message. i just straggled into virginia a few hours ago with my wife and mom,
groggy from both flight and food, and of course the first thing i did was to set up my internet, and your
message was nearly the the first thing that popped up.

even old writers like me need and appreciate confirmation that we are, indeed, being read by more than our
housemates, and that we might even make sense :) thanks for the encouragement. it's a constant labor to
try and say something worth my reader's time and yet also something fun to do (or otherwise, why bother? we
can all sell insurance instead), and i'll keep trying. hope to run into you one of these days back in manila, and
all the best to your own writing.

cheers
butch dalisay

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

martes, agosto 15, 2006

super cheesy excuse

from Guys and Dolls

I've never been in love before
Now all at once it's you
It's you forever more

I've never been in love before
I thought my heart was safe
I thought I knew the score

But this is wine that's all too strange and strong
I'm full of foolish song
And out my song must pour

So please forgive this helpless haze I'm in
I've really never been
In love before

viernes, agosto 04, 2006

sappy-sap-sap (or, a rather pathetic excuse to wax sentimental and post pictures)

work has been tiring but i manage to enjoy my job. the people (mostly artists) i work with are fun and our office atmosphere is pretty laid-back. at any rate, my (heartless? just kidding!) boss jonas decided to "put me on the floor" on just my second week at work. in other words, i was put in charge of EVERYTHING. and believe me, it can be hellish.

on my first day of training, we had a hell-lot of work from one of the UK PM's and i felt too tired to even cry. plus i felt frustrated about not being able to go to iyay's event in greenbelt, which is only a few blocks away. at around 11pm, my knight-in-shining-armor (it was more of a preppy get-up, actually) showed up at my office with comfort goodies:

what remains of the strawberry shortcake

coffee and strawberry shortcake from one of the best dessert places around. yum. they were supposed to help keep me awake but it was not to be. i'm anaemic and working too late isn't advisable for people like me. besides, we were almost done with our projects so laya (resident office goddess) sent me home. (she and i devoured the cake before i remembered to take pictures.)

it felt great to have my boyfriend support me on a particularly trying day. since i've been working late, i've been living at my lola's house in makati, the one near rockwell. i occupy the room she used to share with my lolo (she moved to my titas' room which has airconditioning) and it's pretty nice to have a place to myself. my room is on the front part of the house and a glass sliding door opens to the balcony. when sunlight streams in, it feels glorious.

sometimes i sit on one of the rocking chairs to catch up on my reading or watch people pass by. when i dress for work in the morning, it feels somewhat exhibitionist(ic?) because i'm not entirely sure if outsiders can peer in, or if they even try. hehe.

i must admit i miss going home to paranaque. i haven't seen my papi for about a week now. yesterday, lola cleared out some cabinets so i can quit living out of a bag. i frequently send for things from home: books, clothes, and other various elements i need to indulge my impulses. i fear i may soon fill the room with my knick-knacks.

okay, my brain is freezing from the aircon again. and i haven't had dinner. and i'm running on sugar from cheap chocolate. hoo-boy!

miércoles, agosto 02, 2006

2 years

even i can hardly believe that we've been together this long.

we met three years ago, at the 9th heights writers workshop held yearly at the sacred heart novitiate in far-flung novaliches. that fateful evening, i was looking for jilly and i went into the session room. he was there by himself, writing, and he looked up when i came in. and smiled.

so i smiled, said 'hi', and turned on my heel in one swift movement that somehow forever etched on his memory, as i found out later.

when i returned, the other faci's were giddy. i'd passed him on the corridor and he gave me a cheshire cat grin. he had written me a poem and my friends were beside themselves with kilig-ness. and i said, oh god, i thought he was a panelist.

they gave me his nameplate so i'd remember: R. Javier Bengzon, fellow (poetry in filipino)

the next day, i went home. he'd pop into the pub room every now and then, always with that silly-boy smile. he wrote me another poem, complaining of how i was always in a rush. once, i found a stack of books on my shelf, a reading list of sorts that i only managed to browse through. for christmas, he gave me a pretty blue box. inside the box was a copy of coraline and a gorgeous bound-leather journal for writing my poetry in.

but i had my eyes (and my heart, ugh!) set elsewhere. (what the hell was i thinking? i wasn't thinking!)

so, take 2: we were together again for the 10th workshop, this time both as faci's. on our way to shn, we took a detour to his house in capitol so he could pick up his stuff. jilly was riding shotgun and i stayed with polly at the backseat. because no one wanted to hold ralph, his teddy bear, i did and drifted in and out of sleep. it was raining.

when we finally arrived at shn, it was pitch-black and we were hungry. i thought it had made me delirious, but no, those flickering things were not ghosts or mini ufo's. they were fireflies and i'd never seen fireflies before. pretty, pretty lights that danced in the darkness, calling for love.

he drove me home two nights after. while crossing the bridge over santolan, he teased me about taking me home there instead, knowing somehow that the 'object of my (misplaced) affection' lived there. that was when i decided to stop being a lunatic and finally get over it and move on to greener pastures.

and move on i did.

today, i find myself incredibly loved by someone so wonderful. and when i cry at night, it's because i'm overwhelmed by this realization. the truth is, we've gone through more problems than i can enumerate. but we're still here and as crazy-in-love-love with each other as ever. sabi niya nga sakin minsan: tayo lang ang tumagal sa kabila ng kalungkutan.

he calls me his firefly, a light dancing in the darkness that once enveloped him. and he is my habi, a weaving that i cannot and will not leave, until the last knot is in place.

sa tabi ng dagat