True Confessions of a Shopaholic

As everyone, I am absolutely sick about what happened yesterday in nearby Connecticut.  How anyone could go to a elementary school and do what was done is just unfathomable.  I have the privilege of going to a pre-school & kindergarten school three days a week.  Seeing the magic that those children are is absolutely amazing.  My heart is broken for the children and adults who were lost as well as all families involved in this tragedy.  God Bless the responders as their lives will never be the same either.

Kelly at Kelly's Korner shared this today:

On Tuesday, December 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence. We will post the button and that's it. Please try to not post anything else that day if possible.

Life is super busy and things are feeling pretty stressful at the moment.  I need to take some time and  vent.

I am not the type of person who does well under stress.  I am a perfectionist and when things aren't in order I start to freak.  I HATE this about myself but I can't help it and hating myself for it makes me stress even more.  Oh, it's just awful.  For some crazy reason, I feel like I have to be Super Mom.  I understand that no one expects me to be perfect & it's an expectation I have for myself but there isn't just a switch I can flip to turn myself off.  Jay will tell me to just not worry about it.  If it were only that easy.

It is really hard staying home with two children.  Most of the time Shane is so incredibly easy it's almost funny.  Savannah is the exact opposite.  She is almost 5 going on 16 and she is so so hard sometimes.  She doesn't always listen well, she makes messes and doesn't like to help clean up, has major attitude & her newest trick is using naughty language.  It is so discouraging sometimes & I often feel like I am failing.  Not to mention my mother often makes comments on how I need to "get her under control" & "show her who is boss before it's too late".  Yes, I know.  It's awesome.  My mother has been who she is for my whole life.  I should be used to her by now.  I often do a pretty good job of letting her just roll off my back but it gets to me sometimes.  And lately, it's been happening.

I feel like the kids are my responsibility 24/7.  I feel this way because THEY ARE!  On the weekends Jay helps with them but I still feel like I am the main one to care for them.  We need to try and work out a better system.  One where we each get time to do whatever it is that we need to do and the other is in charge for a bit.  Thank god my MIL takes Savannah for a few hours on most weekends so I can catch up on things while Shane naps.

I am stressing over Christmas.  I usually bake cookies and make fudge & chocolates from Thanksgiving until Christmas.  I haven't made a single cookie!  I still have gifts to buy for a few people.  I still have gifts to wrap.  I haven't told my Mom that we are skipping Christmas Eve with my Dad's side of the family this year.  My Mom doesn't know that my sister and her fiance are staying at my house next weekend and not hers.  She is gonna freak.  They aren't staying at her house because all she ever does is freak.

Savannah's birthday is in February & Shane's in January so I am party planning.  We are having a combined party for them in early February.  We haven't decided on a party location yet.  I wanted to have it at our house but we think our guest list it too long.  We can either rent a hall or ask Jay's grandparents if we can use their basement (they will be in FL for the winter).  My MIL was going to check on the basement but I haven't heard.  I don't know what to get Shane for his birthday.  Jay told me last night "Really.  Who cares.  What's the big deal.  He isn't going to remember.  Just give him money."  He also told me I was materialistic and I am going to make the kids that way too.  He isn't going to remember but he is my only son and it's his first birthday.  Awesome!  Thanks for the support.  Ugh!

OK so now I am going to figure out how to get myself out of this slump and back to enjoying my favorite season of the year.
-Make a to do list for Christmas gifts
-Finish wrapping Christmas gifts
-Go through cookie & fudge recipes to figure out which ones I can make 1/2 batches of.
-Do a few house related things a day to keep up with it all
-Make menu & grocery list for Christmas Brunch we are hosting next weekend

Thanks for listening people.  I seriously appreciate it!  XOXO

I know I have been a little MIA lately.  I have been so busy with the kids, Thanksgiving & now Christmas.  I thought I would do a post about my Christmas trees.  It's no secret, I love Christmas.  My husband and I joke that I am half human and half elf!  Every year I try and decorate things a little more around the house.  It is hard being on a tight budget, ugh, the down fall of being a 1 income family.  I plan to plug away at it every year but my goal is to someday have a Christmas tree in every room of our house.  We currently have 6!