Scott and Kristen Johnson

We decided that the best option for us was to bury him in the Alpine City Cemetery. My grandpa graciously said that we could bury him on top of his son, who died quite a few years ago. My dad made a beautiful casket for sweet Lee. Everything just came together perfectly. We are so blessed to have so many people that love us and "just did!" We buried him on January 3. It was one of the saddest, hardest day of my life. I don't think anyone should have to bury their child. No one. I felt like it was an out of body experience. I was there, I was doing the motions, but it didn't feel real. I couldn't believe that I was actually doing this. We had a beautiful Grave Side Service, and might I add that it was a beautiful day. For January it was unbelievable, I think it was 50 degrees that day. Perfect. My dad conducted, we sang Families can be Together Forever, my Grandpa Woodruff gave a prayer, Bob (Scott's Dad) Spoke (he did a wonderful job), my kids sang I Am a Child of God, Steve (Scott's Brother) said the closing prayer, Scott dedicated the grave, and then my wonderful Relief Society Sisters organized a balloon releasing. It was perfect. I think I have over a thousand pictures of that day. I don't know what to share, I will do my best.

I arrived at the American Fork Hospital at 11:00. I was taken back to get prepared for my surgery. My mom was working and was there with us the whole time, what a blessing. Scott's parents arrived shortly after. I was unsure what the protocol would be. Would I get to hold him, see him, what was going to happen? Everyone I asked wasn't sure. My mom was on the phone trying to get a hold of the social worker to see if he could get me some answers. My nurses thought that I was there for a D&C. They had me consent for a D&C. I was so unsure of what was actually happening. I thought I was having a C-Section. They put me on the operating table (I was just having general anesthesia), and I told them that I didn't want to be put out until I could talk to my doctor. My doctor came in and said, Kristen there has been some sort of miscommunication, but you know what I am doing so don't worry. We are doing a C-Section just like we talked about. I was relieved and still concerned. I asked if I would get to see my baby. He said as long as everything went perfectly, he would be waiting for me in my room. I would get to spend as long as I would like with him and he said he would send someone up to do hand molds and take pictures. That is the last thing I remember until I was awoken with lots and lots of pain. The first thing that I asked the nurse was, am I going to get to see/hold my baby. She said yes, they have already taken him up to your room. He is waiting there for you.....In the mean time, this was my 5th C-Section, so I knew what I was in store for, but I usually have a spinal/epideral and I didn't this time. Thank heavens for those because they keep you away from the pain for quite a while. They gave me some drugs to help with the pain, and then took me to my room. This is where I got to meet my sweet angel baby, Lee Beck Johnson. We had decided that if had a boy we were going to name him Lee. It is a family name on both sides of our families. My mom's middle name is Lee, Scott's mom's middle name is Lee, her dad was Lee, and my mom's Grandpa was Lee. It was the perfect name for him. We had not decided on a middle name. We were sitting there and Scott said let's name him after Beck. So that is where we got his beautiful name. I cannot describe to you the next few hours. They were sad, happy, peaceful, aweful, wonderful, but above all spiritual. I miss Lee, I am sad, and I can't wait to be with him again. I love him! We got to have him in our room as long as we wanted, and could bring him back in whenever we wanted for as long as we were at the hospital. We shared his first day with my mom, Bob and Linda, Jodi, My Grandparents, and Us. We had decided not to let my kids see him, I thought they did understand. Boy was I wrong. Lucy was really struggling. It was all she could talk about, she was drawing pictures, crying, etc. So, after some wise advise from my Bishop, we decided to let her hold him. I am so glad we did. It was just what she needed.




I forgot. While we were there a very sweet lady came in and did hand/foot molds, footprints/handprints, took tons of pictures, etc. These are his footprints...

I don't really know where to start, my heart is full and I want to share our sweet little Lee with everyone, so I will do my best.........

On December 28, 2011 I went to my regular 16 week appointment at 9:20 in the morning. I left my sweet kids and husband (who was off for the week, due to Christmas/New Years) at home, as I was just going to a boring regular ob check up. When I got there and the nurse brought me back, she took out the Doppler and couldn't find his heartbeat. She said that sometimes at 16 weeks it is really hard to find their heartbeats. She said she was going to get another nurse to come in and try. The second nurse came in and she too couldn't find the heartbeat. I started to panic, but kept telling myself that everything would be okay. They said they would go and get the ultrasound machine so the doctor could check for the heartbeat. I sent a quick text to Scott telling him that they couldn't find the heartbeat, he sent me a quick, stay calm-everything will be okay. The doctor came in and started the ultrasound and soon said, "I am so sorry Kristen, but your baby's heartbeat isn't there." Every pregnant mothers worst nightmare! He said that we needed to get a full ultrasound to see how big the baby actually is. We knew there was a heartbeat at 12 weeks, but it could be anywhere from there to the 16 weeks that I thought I was. While the doctor went to see if I could get right in to ultrasound I called Scott. I told him that the baby didn't have a heartbeat. I could hear the pain in his voice, I could tell that he was so sad that he couldn't be there to hold me, and cry with me. He said he would try and find someone to watch the kids as soon as he could and be right down to be with me. Right then the doctor was back and I had to go, I was swept away to ultrasound. In the ultrasound the tech asked me if I wanted to know if it was a boy or girl, I said yes and she then told me it was a little boy, the little boy that I wanted so badly. It crushed me. It was there that it was discovered that he was in actuality 17 weeks, I was farther along than I thought.


I was then sent back to the room to discuss what would be the plan. They only do D&C's if you are less than 15 weeks, and he was bigger than that. In the ultrasound they found that it was placenta previa (placenta is covering the cervix), so I was going to have to have a C-Section. The doctor proceeded to tell me that their regular surgery day was Monday (it was Wednesday). I couldn't believe that we were talking about waiting almost a week to do this. I said to him that our insurance was changing on January 1st and we had already met our out of pocket maximum for that year, so if we could do it before the end of the year it would really save us money, not to mention that I couldn't even fathom waiting a week!! So he said he would do his best, and would call me with what the plan was. I walked out of the office, pushed the button to the elevator (sobbing hysterically), as I walked into the elevator I felt like I was going to pass out. Was this really happening to me? I walked out of the elevator sraight into the arms of my sweet husband. He, not knowing anything except that our sweet baby didn't have a heartbeat. I ran into his arms, he held me, and through my sobs I told him that I was going to have to have a C-Section. We both cried together for a minute (in the lobby of the doctor's office, sorry to the people that were passing by). We decided that since we both had cars there that we would drive them both home. We both got into our own cars on our journey home. I got to about the temple, from my doctors office which is right by the hospital, when my phone rang. It was the nurse telling me that I needed to be at the hospital at 11:00 or they couldn't do it today.......it was 10:40. So, I decided to drive my car home, pick up Scott, have my Brother-in-law meet us at my house for a blessing, and turn around and go to the hospital. To be continued........

My little brother, Sam, plays on the Lone Peak Football Team. Scott took these pictures of him and my grandparents and family wanted to see them. I just figured this was the easiest way that they could all enjoy them! Good job Sammy! Go Knights!

Junie has RSV!! She was admitted to the hospital on Monday because she was so dehydrated. On Sunday, she wouldn't eat very well, but anything that she did eat she would throw up. On Monday she woke up with a dry diaper and I was really scared that she was dehydrated so I took her to the doctor. They told me to take her home and keep close track of her eating and diapers--if by evening she hadn't gone to the bathroom or eaten better then she would have to be admitted to the hospital. When the doctor called me to check on her that evening he decided that it would be best if they admitted her to give her IV fluids. As she has been here she has gotten worse. She stopped eating, had to be suctioned every 3 hours, and is currently on oxygen. We are hopeful that she is getting better, but we still may be here for a few days-until she can get off the oxygen! We appreciate every ones love, support, and prayers! Prayers are appreciated!!

Here are some more pictures of Baby June! Thanks Kim!!

My sister-in-law took these sweet pictures of baby June! Sorry it has taken me so long to post pictures of her. We sure do love our baby June!!