Just Between Us...

I’ve been wracking my brain for weeks trying to come up with topics to blog about. When I started this space a long long time ago I just wanted somewhere to journal and write down my thoughts and maybe be a little creative at the same time so its been a challenge after such a long break from it to come back and just plunge in head first!

Yesterday my husband and I built forms and poured concrete steps leading off of our new concrete patio we had poured a few weeks ago.  I LOVE working with my husband, although I have to admit, doing the heavy lifting or back breaking stuff doesn’t always come with a good attitude! We plunged in though and got it done. I had fun.  The part I loved the most was just knowing that I was making his job, this task, much easier and less stressful.

I kept thinking the whole time we were working about how grateful I am that he chooses to live his life with me.  We are coming up on our 36th wedding anniversary and it continues to blow my mind that he chose me to share his life.  I’m not gonna lie and say we have had it easy because we havent, but he has, over the many years we have shared, grown so much! He has a teachable heart that is incredibly tender toward me and his kids and grandkids.  He often reminds me that there are two sides to a “story” and not rush to judgment, he is wise and very forgiving, and, when he blows it, he is quick to repentance (at least with me he is) and he spends time in the Word, with the Lord and in prayer for people every day (that SO blesses my heart) I love him so much and value the many lessons he has taught me without even knowing he was!

One thing I am so grateful for is how the Lord has used him to teach me about grace (unmerited favor).  You see, I am very hard on myself and have worked very hard to overcome the self destructive criticism that often tries to tear me down. When I watch my husband blow it and then move on after that with confidence and commitment to change, I am so inspired and reminded of my own need to do the same. God is so good to give us just what we need!  He is not perfect, my husband, I mean, and yes, he does drive me crazy sometimes, but only sometimes.   As the years go by I am so grateful that we chose to stay together, to grow together, and MOST importantly, to love the Lord....together....

I read something today in the devotional I have called “New Morning Mercies” by Paul Tripp which just leapt off the page at me...

“Grace has the power to do what nothing else can do - rescue you from you, and in so doing, restore you to what you were created to be”  and this part....”It is an agenda of awesome grace extended to lost, rebellious, and self-excusing people, who even need that grace to understand just how much they need that grace. This grace had to include rescue because we could not escape ourselves, and it had to include restoration because we had no power to transform ourselves into what He created us and redeemed us to be” (Paul Tripp, New Morning Mercies, June 19)

Jeremiah 17:5 says, “Blessed is the man that trusts in the Lord and whose hope is in the Lord...

Blessings!!!

I almost forgot I had this blog its been so long since I logged in but the other day I suddenly remembered it was here and why I started it in the first place and once I visited this familiar site of mine, I began to want to write again!

John and I found out a few hours ago that our precious friend and cousin, Steve, passed away this morning.  It came as a shock as we had not been aware that he had been sick.  We went to bed and I laid there thinking of all of the times we spent with Steve and his wife Sandy over the years.  When our kids were little we would head over to their house a few hours away and spend the weekend. We would pass the time singing with Steve on his guitar, Sandy on the piano, laughing, sometimes crying, but always sharing our love of Jesus with each other. Those were some very good times! John said a little while ago, it feels like all of our spiritual greats are passing away.

Lately I have really been wrestling with some things I thought were long dead and gone. You know what I mean. You are going along, living your life, thinking that you are, you know, okay, and along comes something that smacks you across the head and runs off laughing, leaving you to wonder what in the world just happened, leaving you bent over and bleeding.  The wrestling match begins.  Do I know who will win? Yes...Ive been down this road before, which makes it easier in a way.  I’m sad really. I’m confused totally. I’m hanging onto Jesus completely.  I can only hope that I will learn a new facet of Grace and Mercy, a little something of letting go of my own need to be heard and just trust the Lord with my heart.  Yep...been here before...

Not a very cheerful re-start to my blog is it?  I started this blog way back, over 10 years ago and for three years I havent touched it! Gonna have to change that!  I hope, if you are reading this, you can relate to the things of life kind of crowding in and taking over, stealing time and treasure. And I hope you can relate to a single soul, finding her way back to her “writing place” and being reminded that this was a spot I loved to come and express the fun things, the sad things, the yucky things, the joyful things and yep, the hard things...the endings...

 Welcome Back....Welcome Back...

It never ceases to amaze me what kids can find as treasures in dirt or rocks!  As I watch four of our granddaughters play in the rocks and find "treasures"  I see rocks, dirt, sticks, nasty bugs and the like but our Brynnie, she sees golden rocks, little miniature agates that are within that wild bed of stuff, even a worm is a treasure to her.

It got me thinking just now.  I see all the yuck of my life,  my inner life I mean, and the Lord, because of Jesus in me, sees treasures.  I know He doesn't ignore the yucky things (the bugs and worms) but He somehow draws out the golden treasures and makes them pure while working on those things.  I will never understand it and the longer I walk with Him the less I think I understand and the less arrogant about any understanding I DO have, I become.  I'm so glad that He isn't limited by my understanding or I would truly be lost.  Which reminds me of this scripture:

Isaiah 55
8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
12 For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.  

Oh Lord, thank you for Your unending mercy!  Help me to understand your Word better and walk in Your ways and abide in Your vine.  


On to other things now:  Last year I got a wild hair (among the thousands that I got) to make my own makeup from ingredients I had spied in the Glory Bee Catalogue.  My amazing and tolerant hubby agreed to let me try it and off we went!  Our daughter Kaylee helped me mix some up and I have been using the most awesome mineral makeup the past year.  Before that I was in the Bare Minerals club, which was and is a really great company and product, but if I can find a way to do something myself, I will at least try.  In this case, the product was as good as that so I was/am so happy!  As I shared with friends and family there has been some serious interest in making some for them so at some point when I get brave and smart enough for a website I will get that going.  This morning I even took some of my lotion and added some of my powder to it and experimented on my own face...LOVE!  I won't be replacing the powder since it's so easy but it's nice to know that it will work with lotion to make a cream makeup also.  I also made my own blush the other day, what a beautiful shade of pink I got and it looks lovely on my cheekiness!   I am excited by the possibilities but also nervous since I have no idea how to do anything like a web based business.  Guess it's time to learn!  

Wish me Luck and pray while you are at it!
                                                                                                                    

Yesterday I had an unplanned day off so decided to head out of town for the day and go to "the valley".  I love to shop in Corvallis and don't get to very often so it's nice to take a day and just wander around town.

Driving through the winding and curvy road I was praying and thinking aloud to the Lord.  I haven't had a lot of time to myself this past year, since sharing our home with various kids and grandkids so these little excursions away by myself are precious to me.  I was told by my sisters a few years ago that I always preferred my own company as a kid and that has held true over the years.  That makes me sound narcissistic and I'm not, I mean only that I need lots of time to process and think and talk to the Lord and work through things in my life.

I set out early yesterday and as I said, I was thinking and praying to the Lord.  I noticed the trees that look so dead around here (even though this part of our state is still very green) and that they look wasted and done.  I had the thought, "Lord, I feel that way, dry, brittle, brown and wasted, no good for anything". And then I remembered that soon those trees will begin to show signs of life.  Tiny green buds will begin to sprout off of the ends of the branches and grow new life again.  Something in that analogy (and remembering a very good sermon by Mike Hoggard on the seasons of life) made my heart skip a beat.  It has been a long season of dry, brittle, hurt, anger, loneliness, sadness, grief, loss, bitterness and unforgiveness.  Okay there I said it, unforgiveness.  I won't say that I feel all warm and fuzzy toward the people whom have hurt us but I will say that I am closer to just letting them go and yes, I have been asking for the ability to forgive, I have the WANT to.  But this has also been a season of fruitfulness in our family.  We have had three babies born in the last 15 months, we have remodeled a home (with the Lords help and a wonderful mans heart to help our kids).  We have had one of our kids move back with his little fam and we are moving forward on some things regarding church.  It has been one of the hardest seasons of our lives, but we've had harder.  

So as I looked out the windshield at the bleak trees lining the cold green river I was driving along, I had to admit that they held in them a quiet beauty.  They held a secret. They didn't worry about the fact that they didn't have leaves, they didn't have to, their creator was going to clothe them, much like the lilies of the valley.   So I think of this scripture in Luke and it comforts me and it challenges me:   Do I trust You Lord?  That's hard to answer sometimes....

27Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
28 If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and to morrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?
29 And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind.
30 For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.
31 But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you.
32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.

This has been a crazy week!  It all started last week....

Let me back up a bit.  I am at times, a forgetful person.  I do things like forget my phone, my purse, shopping lists, to do lists, phone calls etc.  Things like that.  Occasionally I forget to close the sunroof of my car.  Here's the irony...I hardly ever EVER use it!  Here's the rub....We live in the Pacific Northwest, where it rains ALL the time..well not all the time but 6 of the 12 months of the year.

Okay so back to my week. No, I did not leave the sun roof open or the windows down in my car, which I HAVE done and it has rained.  Not just rained a little rain but cats and dogs rained.  Over the course of the 12 years I have owned my car I have done it 3 times.  No biggie right?   Um...

Okay again, back to my story.  Awhile back I spilt some water on the floorboard of the back seat of my car and in the course of mopping it up I noticed that it was pretty WET.  I thought to myself, I haven't left the windows open for over a year, I don't get it.  I left towels out there and went on my merry way.  Then I was reaching into my car to put something in the back seat and happened to notice the floor looking wet, AGAIN!  So I went home and put towels on the floor, again, again...And again thought I had dealt with the problem.  I talked to my hubster and he decided it was time to look into why it kept being wet in spite of not having anything spilt on it or having me leave the windows open in it.  Looking online he decided that maybe it was the sun roof tubing that was plugged and that we would look at it on Saturday.

Saturday rolled around and we got up, had our coffee and took the car up to his mom and brothers shop to look at it.  Well.  One thing led to another and 5 hours later, we had the car down to the metal inside, looking like we needed to take it back to the factory, and found probably 3 gallons worth of water in my car!!! (I bet my gas mileage improves now!). I could go into a long explanation of where we think it was leaking but suffice it to say we think it was the luggage rack.  It took three days of drying but the car is back in our driveway and awaiting a test to see if problem is solved, I'm pretty sure it is.

That leads me to the rest of this crazy week.  We were planning to go to Portland on Sunday for a family event and since my car was beyond soggy, we had to take my hubbys truck,  not much of a city rig but what the heck.  We got to Porland after some fun shopping along the way and got to our motel room my sweet hubby had reserved. He surprised me with the honeymoon suite!  Yes, I LOVE him!!!!!  We hung out with our middle son and his wife, whose life event we were there to attend, and went back to our room, heading to bed around 10:30-11. Around 12:30 the motel phone rings, dragging both of us out of sleep.  I COULD NOT for the life of me figure out what the heck that noise was!  My cell phone rang moments later, which made much more sense to my sleep addled brain, and I answered it to our daughter in law, telling us that she was having contractions and they were on their way to the hospital.  Now I know I hadn't actually said anything about a child birth but that's because it was a scheduled C-section due to a breech baby that they had tried twice to get to turn.  (Not to mention all sorts of semi medieval maneuvers) but that little girl WOULD not turn.  Our little granddaughter, number 10 of the total and number 7 of the girls side of things, decided she was gonna come in her own time! Stinker!  We were up all night with the process and at 5:30 got to meet our little gem, our little granddaughter, Adalind Rose and what a sweet little package!  Bliss!!!!

At around 9:30 we decided we better head back to the coast or we would never make it, we were beyond exhausted!  Neither one of us can remember the ride!   So now my car is dry and put back together, our granddaughter and her mommy and daddy are home from the hospital and we are still worn out!  I don't have room to tell you all the other things that took place this week so far, just too many to list.   I have learned a few things though, Mostly? That 30 plus years of marriage means so many things. To some, it can mean being bored, lonely, frustrated, and sadly, unfulfilled.  To us, to me, it means I get to hang out with my very best friend. He is the most fun human and my sweet heart.  As the years pass he works hard to bless me and show me how much he loves me.  I LOVE doing life with him, even when it's dismantling my car!

I have to admit, I love cool bottles and containers.  I have been known to buy shampoo or lotion based on the type of bottle or jar it is in!

About five years ago I got a little bit more discretionary about what was IN those gorgeous bottles, jars and containers and had to stop buying most of them.  I admit, I went through a bit of a detox and still would wander down the shampoo aisle to see what was being offered.  But, alas, most of them are so full of toxins that I just couldn't buy them.  Once I know what's in something, it's hard for me to eat it, drink it or put it on my skin or hair.  About that time I found a gal who made lotion and I begged her to make me some.  Anything...I LOVED it.  It was so yummy.  A year or so later we went our seperate ways and she got busier and I ended up not getting lotion from her any more.  I was desperate.  I began to search You Tube for ways to make lotion and after many starts and stops I finally found one that was close to the one that I had been buying for a year or so and began making it.  Soon I had other people loving it and wanting to get it from me and a small enterprise was formed.

Bringing me to now...

I am working on starting up an Etsy shop.  I love making lotion. The chemistry of it is so much fun and formulating the different oils and butters into a combination that not only smells amazing (oh my goodness have you ever smelled Cocoa Butter?) but feels great on the skin.  I am told that my lotion isn't oily or sticky but absorbs very quickly and can be used on the face without fear.  That last one I knew since that's where I started with this process, with lotion for my face.  I use organic ingredients - after all if I eat mostly organic it makes sense to put organic on my face and body also. I use distilled water (someday I want to formulate a lotion without water in it but haven't gotten that advanced yet).  I use what is called an ECOCERT preservative which means it's approved for organic formulations and also use one that is made from Radish Root (!) of all things!!!  After all of that, ya wanna know the one thing that has stopped me from doing this whole thing?  LABELS!!!!  I haven't been able to figure out the label that I want, the whole thing has been overwhelming on that front.  I am gaining though and have enlisted help from my daughter and daughter in laws for input, opinions, even Guinea pig stuff!  I have great kids!

I'm excited...

I can't seem to get much done these days.

I suppose it for several reasons.  One, I'm kinda worn out from so many Christmas projects...Two, I got a post New Years cold...but most of all, Three:  I really can't land on ONE knitting project!!!

Long ago I just knitted in the winter but this last year I kept knitting and knitting and knitting...So many "want to's" and so little time!  Darn!!!

I want to make felted knit slippers, mittens, hats, a PONCHO or some such other cool drapey thing to wear, an infinity scarf, socks socks and more socks, and of course a baby blanket, baby jacket, baby hat, baby socks, baby baby baby!

We are expecting grand baby number 10 pretty soon.  A little girl whom I am so excited to meet.

I don't really have much to say at the moment as I sniff my way through a roll of toilet paper and dread getting ready for work...then grocery shopping....I'm gonna collapse later for sure!!!

So if you can't tell, the coffee hasn't settled my brain yet either!

I hope you all have a good day!  And if you are a knitter?  Oh my gosh, Pinterest is amazing and DEADLY!!! Hahahaha!