Have you ever had a situation that you prayed about and the answer was no?  A little over four years ago Jason and I decided to try for baby # 3.  We had easily gotten pregnant with our girls and expected the same to happen that time.  After several months of no luck, I was praying about it one day and God spoke to me.  Not out loud, but it was His voice - no doubt.  He told me to adopt.  I remember saying, "What?  You want us to do what?"  Adoption was never something we has discussed.  It took God hitting me over the head a few more times and then I brought it up with Jason.  Jason had no interest at first and it took about three months of God working on him.  During this time we continued to try to get pregnant with no luck - God had a much bigger plan - Silas! 

Fast forward a year - we had Silas, and life got really crazy.  Adoption was harder than we anticipated, Silas had considerable attachment problems and our family was struggling.  Jason and I still kind of wanted a baby and at some point decided to not prevent and see what happened.  Well, nothing happened for months and the months turned into years.  I figured God knew what we needed and could handle.  His answer was no to having another baby.  Over time, we were content with our family of five.  I had always held onto some baby things "just in case" but decided early this spring to have a big yard sale and get rid of everything!  It all must go - we were so done with babies!  After four years it was not going to happen!  We are also heading to the beach this summer and I had been researching photographers to take a really nice family photo of us at the ocean since our family was complete.  I can see God laughing now - he had other plans for us!

The beginning of April brought quite a surprise!  We are having another baby!  We are very excited and I'm still a little shocked!  God knows what we need and when we need it.  Looking back, if I had gotten pregnant right away back in 2007 we would not have our precious Silas.  If it had happened in the first couple of years he was home, it would have been disastrous for our family.  We were maxed out caring for Silas' needs and having his surgeries and taking care of our girls.  Now, Silas has been home almost three years.  We still have hard days, but the good days far outweigh the bad!  He as made so much progress.  He is ready to be a big brother and I think it will be therapeutic for him.  He is so excited.  The girls are excited too and will be such big helpers.

Sometimes what seems like a "no" answer to a prayer might just be a "not right now" answer.  And what a joy to see it become a "yes"!  Our miracle is due Christmas Day - isn't that fitting?!  I have been very, very tired.  Jason has been even more of a super dad than normal taking up doing the laundry and basically anything else you can think of.  I'm 12 weeks now and hoping I get some more energy in the 2nd trimester.  It has been very challenging working full-time and having 3 kids to care for plus everything else.  I am VERY thankful for my awesome husband!  I would have Jason take a picture of my belly at 12 weeks - it is already big - MUCH bigger than I was with the girls!  I am sick right now with a sinus and eye infection and look like a big mess.  We'll wait on the picture until I'm more put together. : )  Below is a picture of baby though!  Head to the right, legs to the left.  Little arm raised in the air.