10:37:00 AM
5:25:00 PM
So far, my days have been punctuated by irregular periods of studying. :\
I like studying by myself, at Coffee Bean, at Holland Vee. Not saying that I don't love my studying partners, but I think solitude suits me. Just a warm caramel latte in a tall glass, my ipod, math, a double table and liquid paper. The feeling that you're watching people like they don't see you.. It's voyueristic pleasure.
Recently, I keep seeing magazines on self-improvement, and I keep watching shows that teach me how to be skinny and tall and sexy. One day, just one day, I'll realize that I cannot keep on pushing myself to improve my old self to be something that's new shiny and plastique, and that's the day I'll realize how much my self-worth is worth. One day. Right now.. that's a story for a different day.
And Blogger refuses to allow me to blog, and so I'm doing this in Gmail and saving it in my drafts! >:(
It's late at night and I've just finished reading another Fictionpress story, so pardon the mellowness and nostalgia. I'm justifying my read by the supposed improvement it will have on my GP, which by the way, I'm deathly afraid of. If I fail.. there goes the 2 years of work.
Sophie stayed over to study the past day, and we ended up in front of MTV at 2 AM in the morning. And at 1 PM the next afternoon. That's the extent of my slackness. GRAWRR.
On a completely unrelated note, I wonder how we'll be at the end of the day.
And on another completely unrelated note, I love Panic! At The Disco. Their lyrics are awesome. :D
Submitting my Boston application early tomorrow morning, fingers crossed and eyes squeezed shut. I just hope I get it.
Oh, and P.S., Rhoda, I love you. <3
/edited.
Okay, I'm now in Lumpsy Dumpsy's house posting, cos my dumb comptuer still refuses to let me post! >:(
Unproductive day at Beauty World Macs with weird people and weird erm people. The rain made it worse!
GP tomorrow, I hope it goes well. Too many people I can't afford to disappoint.
Okay, I can't think of anything else to say! :D
Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety.
6:41:00 PM
Okay, happy post today! : DDDD
My computer was horrble last night and didn't manage to post. Bahs!
A's are coming, and I'm as prepared as I was for the first common test in J1, which is not. At all. Today I went out with Lumps to study, and all I managed to do was eat, stone, stare, buy mags and stare at them for a long period of time and read about breasts implants.
Hmm.
And I need to go shopping! >:(
Much love to Lumps, who managed to tolerate my singing and nonsensical comments.
Right now, what I've completed this week is a lot of rubbish singing, slacking, stoning and sleeping in front of the tv.
Right.
Came across quite a number of blogs whose owners are part of a long time relationship. It's a wonder, really.
Okay why am I blogging like that I suddenly find myself irritating GRAWR.
<3!
8:14:00 PM
So, this is the end.
Right now, every day seems to be passing in a blur and I don't seem to realize that A's are in 2 weeks. People around me seem more and more like strangers, faces I wouldn't have recognized if I passed them by on the street.
Behind all those faces, I never knew what thoughts lay beneath them. And the more I find out, the more I realize maybe it's better left untouched.
Yes, I don't believe in true love anymore. And yes, I don't believe in faith anymore. I feel disillusioned because of my apathy, but if I don't think too deeply about it, I don't feel anything. Everyday is about passing jokes and laughter. Then I return home to an empty room and an even emptier heart.
But I like it this way, and I don't need your fucking pity, because as unbelievable as it is, I rather feel this way then feel anything at all.
And maybe one day, maybe this carousel ride will stop.
It's time for a change.
2:36:00 AM
So I like to eat junk food in the dead of the night, read Archie comics when I should be bathing, divide car plate numbers by three, drink way too much coffee, can't differentiate between fairytale love and real love, spend money like water, eat too much, drink too little water, hate public transport, want to strangle people, secretly think cats are cute but are scared of them, think you're disgusting, hate cheese and math, love the feeling of having something to do, procrastinate and watch oprah, rent dvds and not watch them, lose wires, cry much too easily, borrow library books and not return them, get food cravings in the middle of the night, am scared of the dark, love online shopping, more inclined to cliques within cliques, hate talking on the phone, love my friends, wonder whether I really believe in God, blast music in my ears to drown out voices, secretly love my mum even though I tell the world she's irritating, secretly isn't pissed half the time I say I am, can't pull myself away from the Internet, miss my HAT, love and despise responsibility, have a secret desire for striped undies, hard to satisfy, love my dogs, don't want children but rabbits, have an urgent need to lie in bed all day and do nothing, want to live by the beach, dance in the rain/snow, sleep till I sincerely feel like getting up, love peaches and oranges and Lumps.
What's it to you?
I love it, how you pluck words from blank air and shape them into my thoughts.
