It's an adjustment having a kid. Learning what to take with you when you leave the house. It makes going places a little more involved. We have gotten out and gone hiking a couple times these past couple weeks and it feels so good to get out there again. The dogs love it, and Ava is none the wiser where she is as she snoozes in her infant wrap. Love that thing!

Ava is becoming more a fan of tummy time now that we use the boppy. It's so fun to watch her track objects and voices with her eyes and lift her head and turn it from side to side. We just have to be careful that she doesn't go feet over face pushing herself up and over the boppy. It's the small things in life and I love it that way. Let them be little :)

This is Ava's milk coma face. It's amazing to me the physical reaction this kid has to the taste of milk. mmm, mmm, good. love this girl!

There is a special bond between dad's and their daughters. Steve and Ava have it. I love to see them together. When we found out we were having a girl, we were both so excited. I think a little girl is just perfect for Steve and I as a first kid. At only 6 weeks old, she already has him wrapped around her little finger. I can't wait to watch their bond as she grows up.

Once I found out I was pregnant, I was elated. My mind was spinning with thoughts of the future and all the fun things I would do with this baby of mine. Being the type of person I am, I couldn't wait to find out the gender so I could plan and decorate for this babe. Then by about week 7, reality set in. I was TIRED=LAZY, SICK, UNMOTIVATED. TOTAL WASTE OF SPACE. it was so unlike me. i hated it. I had freak outs that I would never be normal again. it scared the crapola out of me.
then the 2nd trimester came and I felt much better. But unfortunately, the tiredness and lack of motivation hung around until a week ago. In fact, the nursery wasn't finished until about 2 weeks ago. those of you who know me, know that is very unlike me.
Anywho, I am very glad to be back to normal, both physically and mentally. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but toot toot. I was able to lose the baby weight within about 3 weeks of ava joining us. And now I am continuing to lose the weight I was in the process of losing when I got pregnant with our little gem. Honestly, pregnancy was pretty picture perfect for us. There were definitely hormonal/emotional changes, and then the weight gain, obscene swelling of my hands and feet, the numb fingers for the last month of pregnancy, but really I can't complain. the labor process was easy breezy, i almost feel bad. But for me it's a good thing. It means Ava won't be an only child :)
So, since I was neglectful for about 9 months, I will give you a quick review of what happened during that time.
September-we found out we were pregnant and were elated. Life was fantastic. We moved out of my sister's basement and back into our house in Taylorsville. Not that I love the house, but it is nice to be back in our own place, especially with a little one on the way.
October-Pregnant life hit me. I am tired and useless. I feel sick and start living off of zofran and miralax.
November-We take a trip to Cali for Thanksgiving. We tell family and friends we are expecting. We also notice that marley has a little tilt in his head to the left. little did we know what it was...
December-I am still feeling junky, but starting to feel a little better about mid month. We find out we are having a girl! We are ecstatic!! Marley gets a cut on the left side of his head. I take him to the vet, but am told everything is hunky dory and we go on our way.
January-It wasn't just a cut on marley's head. after losing muscle mass on the left side of his head, stumbling to the left, and being more unsteady on his feet, we get a second opinion. after lots of diagnosing=$$$, turns out he has a meningioma at the base of his brain stem. It is non operable. He starts on prednisone which helps curb the symptoms. we have to decide to pursue radiation=$$$$$$$$$$$ or let him live on prednisone as long as possible (6 months) and then put him down :( HEART WRENCHING decision. Marley is my little boy. It was him and me before steve, jack, or ava ever came along. I can't watch my guy die without giving him the best chance possible.
February-I pick up LOTS of extra shifts at work (so thankful for that flexibility) and we opt to go to colorado state for a round of radiation therapy for marley. After a couple hiccups before starting, he gets his full course of treatment and we head home with high hopes of complete remission.
March-I am starting to feel big and the extra work makes me uber tired. but it's worth it to give marley a fighting chance. he is doing great after radiation. symptoms are essentially non existent. he is doing better everyday. oh yeah, i turn the big 3-0.
April-time to start getting ready for the little miss. my family throws me an awesome baby shower and we get all the things we need for the babe to arrive. we start putting it all together. i am getting so excited to meet this baby. i can see and feel her kicking. she's so close, yet so far away. my feet and hands are swelling ridiculously. my fingers start to go numb from compressing nerves. awesome.
May-i am full term and ready for this girl to come anytime. i pack the hospital bags and start thinking OMG, i am going to have to push this thing out of me! D day comes and goes and it is AMAZING! it was nowhere near as awful as i imagined. We are sent home with a happy, healthy baby girl. she is greeted at home by 2, HEALTHY four legged brothers. Our life is never the same, in the best way possible.
here are some pics of the events that transpired...

I can't believe how fast time has gone by. I find myself saying that all the time, yet it seems to fly faster and faster which makes me sad. On one had, I can't wait for Ava to get bigger. Big enough for me to braid her hair, put her in all the cute outfits I see at the stores, big enough to talk and interact more with us. But on the other hand, I know she will only be this little once and I don't want to wish this time away. I try to take advantage of every day I have with her. To love and smooch on her. To soak it all in. Her expressions, demeanor. I want to have a snapshot of every day, so I never forget anything. If I wasn't a good journal writer before, I will be now.
Ava is now 1 month old (if i wrote this on june 9th). Here are some facts about the babe.

• She is becoming much more alert and making good eye contact with us. 
• She is not a fan of tummy time unless it is laying on mom or dad's chest.
• despite hating tummy time, she is very strong and is able to hold her head up and turn on her side.
• she refuses to have her arms swaddled. she was fine with it for about the first week, and then no more. 
• she nearly refuses to sleep on her back. we put her down and she is instantly on her side. 
• we had to buy some preemie clothes for her when we got her home from the hospital because none of the clothes we had for her fit. after all, we were expecting a 9 pounder.
• she quickly grew out of the preemie clothes after the first week and is solidly in newborn clothes.
• she is great with other people holding her.
• growing like a weed, eating like a champ, although we have to wake her up to feed her most of the time.
• she has the biggest blue eyes and i hope they stay that way.
• her cry is much louder than it was at birth. those lungs have really developed well.
• that being said, she doesn't really fuss much unless she is hungry or has a dirty diaper. No "fussy" time for her...yet.
• her eyelashes and eyebrows are very light they are almost hard to see at times. 
• not a fan of bath time which is odd because i thought all babies liked bath time.
• speaking of bath time, your hair dries in a frizzy fro afterward. it's pretty cute.
• loves skin to skin time with mom and dad. 
• everyone comments on her long fingers and legs. 
• she hiccups after nearly every feeding.
• likes pacifiers once she gets them in her mouth. they usually choke her at first. 
• she likes to listen to nursery rhymes on the ipad.
• has cute dimples by her mouth when she eats. also lifts her pinky up when she eats or sleeps. 
• likes to sleep with her arms above her head.

Steve and I really timed this baby thing pretty perfectly. Ava was born in May and will have plenty of time to build up her immune system before RSV season strikes. Steve and I are off of work all summer to enjoy the sun, good weather, and time with the babe. We figure we may as well take advantage of this time off to do some good traveling.
This summer we are off for a trip to Idaho where we will make stops in McCall, Lewiston (where Steve went to college), and Coeur D'Lene/Post Falls. Then we are off to Whitefish, Montana for a week at a cabin on the lake to relax with family and friends. After a quick week home, we are off again for some divine time in California. I can't wait! Ava will be able to meet her great grandmother, more cousins, aunts, uncles, and other extended family and friends. I can't wait to dip her little toes in the pacific and dig them in the sand. It will be good for the soul!
then, it will be time to dig back into the grind. but i have a feeling it will be a little more fun with this little girl around.

Ava had her first photo shoot when she was just a couple weeks old. Our friend Brittany from Stolen Moments Photography came to the house and took these darling shots for us. We love them! Anyone needing photos should look her up. She does a great job and has shot family pictures for us before. Thanks Brittany!

quite a few things have changed since this little girl came into our lives. and all for the better. sure the sleepless nights, the cries, the spit up, the necessity for my life to revolve around my boobs isn't the greatest, but it's all for this perfect child we have.
with all that said, she really is a good baby. it took about a week or two for her real cry to set in. at first it was this adorable little whimper, but alas her lungs are fully developed and strong. she makes sure she is heard when she has something to say. she eats like a champ and is growing like a weed. being as small as she was at birth, the girl has some catching up to do. by her 1 week appointment, she had not only gained back her weight that she lost after birth, but was above 6 lbs! and by her 2 week appointment, above 7 lbs. she has leveled off somewhat and is probably around 8 lbs at this point, but we don't go back to the dr until mid july. the first set of stats we got at her 2 week appointment show her in the 0% for head, 7% for weight, but 66% for height! at least she is measuring on one of the scales. i can only hope this girl gets some height.
she has gorgeous blue eyes and a fabulous male patterned baldness with full hair in the back and little to none on top. poor girl. of course, at this point she has rubbed off some of the hair in the back and is growing a fine amount of hair on the top. hopefully before too long, it will be even all around.
she looks IDENTICAL to her dad in his baby pictures. in fact, i don't see a whole lot of me in her at all. but i can assure you, she's mine. i have the stitches to prove it.
this girl is a freaking houdini in her crib. i put her to sleep one way and when i go check on her, she has done a complete 180 and is out of her swaddle across the crib. it's crazy.
we adopted the babywise method in the first week of her life and she is a pretty darn good sleeper. for a few nights there, she was sleeping 6 hour stretches, but has reverted back to waking up once in the night. but hey, i can't complain. it either isn't that bad, or i have learned to survive on less sleep. for the first few weeks, i was sure i would never be able to function as a normal human being again.
my nesting kicked in, oh, about a week ago. somehow during the whole pregnancy, i not only didn't nest, but i was lazier and messier than i had ever been in my life. now though, i am back to what i once was and on a cleaning, organizing spree throughout the house. in fact, i want a new house so we can start fresh. maybe one in california! :)
i have been off of work for 6 weeks and it has been divine to have so much free time to spend adoring my little girl. with that said, i do have moments when i miss work and i think it will be nice to go back in 6 more weeks. i'm sure the full time status will quickly wear off, but i gotta help bring home the bacon for now.
we are leaving in a couple days for some summer travel and vacation before getting back to reality in august.  more on that later.
overall, life is grand and i love being a mom. in the beginning, there were some rough moments when i couldn't believe the hospital would allow this baby to come home with someone so unqualified. but i am finding my feet. every time i see this little girl, i get a huge smile on my face. it feels like my life is so much fuller than it was before. i think this is by far my favorite role i have had in life thus far. now i wish she would just gain a little more weight so we can put her in all the cute clothes. they don't make a whole lot of cute things that i can find in newborn size. but i don't want to wish away this time for anything. it's already flown by faster than i can believe!

Meet Ava. It was a Wednesday. I had just finished up working a few night shifts and was in the middle of my days off. Steve was working graves so I was up late and slept in until about 11:30am when I woke up with some abdominal pain, cramp like. I didn't think much about it and got up to start my day. Well the cramps kept coming every 10-15 minutes, but they felt different from the contractions I had been feeling here and there for the weeks previous. I figured they were not regular, and they didn't feel anything like what I expected labor to feel like. I called my doctors just to let them know what was going on. The doctors office said I should go check in to the hospital to get checked. Thinking they were being ridiculous, I took my sweet time showering and getting ready. All the while, Steve kept sleeping as he had to work again that night. I wasn't due for another 5 days and was convinced she wouldn't come early. I woke Steve up to tell him I was going to the hospital but that I was us it was nothing and that I would be back soon. As a first time mom, I was expecting a long drawn out labor so I knew this was no big deal.
2:00pm-At my last OB appointment 6 days earlier, I was dilated to a whopping 1cm and was 50% effaced. When I checked into the hospital, I was 3cm and 80% effaced. The cramps were getting a bit stronger and closer together but I still wasn't to the point that they needed to keep me. They gave me the option to walk around for awhile and see if I dilated anymore as they would admit me at 4cm. I opted to go home and wait things out there.
3:15-As I drove home, the contractions as I now knew they were, were getting stronger, closer, more painful. Holy crap I was in labor! But I still expected it to be hours before anything really happened. For kicks I started timing these contractions on my handy iPhone app. By the time I got home, they were consistently every 2-4 minutes apart Steve was awake and getting ready for an overtime shift he couldn't get out of. He asked if I wanted him to try and find coverage, but I assured him I would be home for hours before it was time for anything to happen. He continued to get ready and by the time he left for work, I followed behind to go back to the hospital. These things were getting stronger and closer together FAST! I have always thought I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but ouch!
5:30pm-I checked back into the hospital to get rechecked and I was 5cm, fully effaced. They asked me if I wanted an epidural and it then sank in...I wasn't leaving this hospital pregnant. It was go time.
6:00pm-I was officially admitted and taken across the hall to l&d. I never thought I would go au natural during labor but thought I would go as long as I could without an epidural. That point was at about 6cm. I had a fantastic epidural which was so not as bad as I thought it would be. I had been on the other end of watching residents do spinal taps and it ain't pretty. I thought for sure it would be botched, but I couldn't have asked for a better experience. The worst part was trying to hold still with an 5 inch needle in my spine while contracting like a #%*^!
6:30pm-Around this time the staff at the hospital were trying to ask me in as nice a way as possible if I had a baby daddy coming or if i was in this all by my lonesome. I assured them I had a husband who was trying to get here from work. As the epidural was kicking in, Steve walked in as the anesthesiologist was walking out.
For the next few hours, life was good. We watched NBA playoffs while I contracted away, feeling very little of anything. Around 7cm I got nauseous which I learned is pretty normal.
9:00pm-My water still had not broken so the docs asked if we wanted them to do it. We decided to go ahead since the doctor said I could be pushing for awhile. Steve promptly left with his mom to get some food while I chatted with my sister-in-law.
10:00pm-I get checked and I'm at 10cm. It's time to push. At that moment, my mind is saying what the...how did I get here??? I'm 9 months pregnant and fully dilated, and ready to push. I am going to be a freaking mom! Whoa.
10:30pm-the doctors are in getting all gowned up. Steve hurries back from food with his mom. We are doing some practice pushes and getting a pep talk on the instruments that may need to be used to get the baby out. For weeks they had been estimating her to be around 9 lbs.
10:45pm-start pushing. It's not as hard as I expected it to be. I'm told I'm doing great.
11:04pm-after a total of 9 pushes over about 10 minutes, we have a baby girl ! Not a 9lb girl, but a 5.7lb girl. Guess those estimations really are just that. An estimation. And this time they were way off. I am frantically asking if she has all her fingers, toes, limbs, etc. I'm asking if she is healthy and if she should be crying more. I am assured she is perfectly fine. Steve cuts the umbilical cord, they suction out her mouth, and she is laid on my chest. Finally, after waiting for and anticipating this moment for what seems like forever, I am skin to skin with my daughter. Talk about surreal. There really is no other word I can think of other than surreal. I am just staring at her, loving her so much, when she poops all over me. And so it starts...
Parenthood has been a trip. Amazing, bewildering, surreal, but mostly just amazingly fantastic. My life has a whole new level to it and I couldn't be happier. I feel like I have been walking around with a sleep deprived perma grin on my face since that moment. And I don't think it will ever leave.


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Enjoying dad's baseball game...




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