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stupid dental appointment at kranji camp caused it.

was to take x-ray to check if i have wisdom teeth and the dentist stuck this freaking big plastic shit inside my mouth, twist and turn, twist and turn.

and then asked me to bite hard on it and in the end i think scratched my throat then now got some minor infection.

zzz. feels damn painful and uncomfortable man.

causes my mood to tale a dip.

if it doesnt get any better tomorrow, i think i shall go see a GP outside and get att C, means i no nid to go back to camp for a day =)

going to ion orchard later! excited!

update later ~

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reported sick today to endorse my letter from NUH and guess what, i have been TEMPORARILY downgraded from pes A for 3 months. to dunno what grade la. i hope its at least a C lol.

came as a shock as well, i didnt expect that such a small problem like damaged wrist TFCC ligament could lead to this.

well good and bad. the good being i can now really rest my wrist. the bad being it seriously looks bad on me lol.

being in army, giving your superiors a bad impression is not good news haha.

anyway the da vinci thing on sunday? not that interested but i will go anyway since its supposedly “once in a lifetime” (quoted from jh) opportunity and because that it is quite a rare gathering.

the entrance fee is $15 and its at the science centre. haha gonna spend a bomb this weekend i guess~

gonna watch public enemies with milk and jy soon. should be quite nice because got johnny depp. quite a weirdo, but he oozes charisma.

maybe today was a boring day, so much that i suddenly have an epiphany.

i realised that while i may my social circle, which is now stagnant and not expanding due to the fact im serving the nation diligently, sometimes i feel that i want to be alone. as in really alone, do my own things, stay at home and rot/rest, do whatever i like,  whatever.

maybe i am indeed becoming an otaku, maybe not. maybe i am a loner, maybe not.

i dunno but it struck that if my otaku-ism mentality continues, with me still chasing after anime and japanese pop culture, what will be left of my future? i fear that i may in turn become a hikikomori –

“a Japanese term to refer to the phenomenon of reclusive individuals who have chosen to withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement because of various personal and social factors in their lives. The term hikikomori refers to both the sociological phenomenon in general as well as to individuals belonging to this societal group.” (quoted from wikipedia)

and that i may not be even interested in getting a wife!

well, personally i feel that while im ABIT otaku, i still try to maintain my circle of friends and the bond with my family. so i dun think thats a very big problem. =)

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there are times i really feel that i am pretty much wasting all my time in army, especially when your operationally ready date (ORD) draws nearer.

i still remember clearly that about a year ago, fresh from course, i would be so busy that even taking a short nap during lunch time was difficult. we would be using every minute of the day trying to maintain our tanks, do maintenance and many random sai kang (random chores) but now, as my ORD draws nearer and nearer, we have less and even lesser things to do as we are to hand over our duties to the new batch of crew slowly and the new batch are going to graduate in less than a month. that means to say that by september, we, the old crew would really have nothing much to do, other than to rot our days away till the day we ORD.

just try to visual my life now…

i wake up at 6am in the morning, eat breakfast then it will usually be some physically conditioning from 7am till maybe 9+ am. then if theres nothing else for me to do, it would mean that we can only stay in bunk or office to rot our time again, till maybe 5.30pm. thats like more than 7 hours of rotting!!!

ok to clarify, rotting here means plugging into your mp3, mp4, maybe some handheld game consoles, reading newpapers and magazines, talk come rubbish and sleeping (discreetly).

imagine, this cycle will continue on and on till the day you get your pink IC…

AND I STILL HAVE ABOUT 140 DAYS TO GO!!!

omg zzz

some may think that this amount of time given to you to rot can be taken as a period of time to rest your mind and body before you subject yourself to the typical hectic lifestyle of singaporeans when you ORD. true i agree, but it still seems to me that i am truly, without a doubt wasting my time in army when i could be still earning more income than what im earning now, if not studying.

thing now is that this cannot be changed and my ORD is round the corner, i might as well just finish my term in army ya?

so now, i would love to find something interesting to do in camp. suggestions?

by the way i am a page titled my WANTS! and my birthday is near. *hint hint*

LOL. till next tyme ;p

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if only i had a greater earning power…

things would be so much easier.

i wouldn’t have to plan my budget so tightly T_T

haish damn sian.

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done with the 16km run and thats a load off my shoulders.

wow, i didn’t know 16km was actually such a long distance to cover but nevertheless, we conquered it with style~

ya, legs are pretty much aching now, but it may be due to the shopping i did after the run.

heh heh bought the eternity cologne from calvin klein today at some cheap cheap place at far east and man i realli do like its scent!

haha nothing much to blog about today so i shall blog maybe tomorrow =D

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running my maiden 16km tomorrow at seletar camp for some formation healthy lifestyle thingie…

its gonna be the longest distance i have ever ran and yea, i hope it won’t put my legs out of commission for too long cos i still have some shopping to do.

“suddenly” i realised that i need a bag and hence i wanted to get a tote bag.

but then again, i damn scared that i will look damn gay.

and this brings me to another issue.

…

a few weeks back i think i saw an article about the so called “feminisation” of the males in japan. these males, unlike those from the previous generations, place more emphasis on grooming themselves (in a negative way, i.e, excessive buying of skin care and beauty products) and being not that into females (you get what i mean).

despite being less manly, dependable, but probably alot more good looking than males of the previous generation, these “feminine” males seemed to be more popular than ever, with girls worldwide.

personally i would like to ask the opinion of girls (not that im against these pretty boys) on what they think of these men?

and whether they would prefer a extremely good looking pretty boy who puts his personal image above any other aspects of life or a much more dependable man, who is not that outstanding in the looks department.

this is a question i want to pose to females, so i hope to hear some replies!

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there is a chinese saying which states that money is not omnipotent and i would have to agree, but not completely.

of course, there are things money cannot purchase.

take health for example.

once you contract a terminal illness, no amount of money can save you.

yes, money is not omnipotent, but without money, one cannot do much.

as stated above, things like health can not be bought. however, without money one could not even afford the medical expenses when the need arises.

so let’s just face the sad fact that to survive in this world, you definitely need cold hard cash in your pockets.

…

and for myself, i know i am not rich and despite the fact, i have many wants.

that’s not really a good combination aye?

currently, i have a japan trip at hand, which could cost me up to S$3,000 ++ which is not really great news.

but, even i were to spend this amount on visiting japan, i would never live to regret it.

although i may have visited japan 2 times already (both times with my secondary school band), this time it is my pilgrimage to the holy land of otaku-ism, technology and rich culture.

as a “civil servant” i.e a dog of the military, i earn only S$590 a month, which makes it roughly 50 cents an hour for 24/7. pathetic eh?

so with this meagre income, i will have to pay for my transport fees and food during the weekends. which can be quite a hefty sum considering that when me and my friends eat out, it will usually be quite expensive.

what’s left of it will go to my bank account, which then will be drawn out for me to pay for my wants.

games for my ps3, gundam model kits, ipod accessories, clothes, electronics etc.

and usually i will end up spending most of my S$590, which leaves me very little to save.

oh wells. time to start saving up.

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somehow i got back here.

havent been posting since eons ago so i might be rusty.

looking back at this blog’s archives, i rediscovered that life is actually a bitter-sweet journey…

memories both good and bad lies here… well, some parts of it haha.

ya so it would be such a waste for me to totally abandon this blog.

someone once told me that memories, fond or not are, literally like parts and parcel of life and that when we move from one chapter of our lives to another, we wrap up these memories and carry it with us to our next destination.

and yea we would have to agree, won’t we?

back to me…

life has been well, pretty uneventful and not to mention pretty sad. nah, actually life sucks, really.

so far i still have not secured a place in NUS or NTU, which is really bad news, unless i apply next year and get in.

worst case scenario i would probably be off to an open U (like SIM) or maybe (just maybe, hopefully not) get sent to australia.

i don’t know what to do really… the days i spent in camp were so painfully slow (because we are in ORD mode) that i would be forced to think through my life, to the point of insanity (not yet)

is it just me or that my life is nothing but setbacks?

call me pessimistic or anything but i know optimism will just lead me on. geez.

what had i been doing in my JC days?

i wished i knew…

the way i spent my days in JC were, for a lack of a better word, horrendously stupid, dumb, whatever.

if i had study harder. really, if i just had studied harder…

well, i had come to terms with it already so i guess i will be trying for NUS and NTU next year again…

if not… well,  let’s just say i got my route well planned… =]

oh anyway, had a heart to heart talk to my bunk mate yingda (nice guy, trumpeter from ACJC) about “some stuff” (well you know the common topics) and it made me realize alot of things…

although it was me giving most of the advice, i learnt as well. not that i dunno about it but it made me rediscover myself.

i had talked about her, and her to him. i had confided my stupidity in him. and he confided his stupidity in me. we were talking like naive and innocent kids… which is good.

although these things do not really matter to us anymore, it really gets a load off our chest just by talking it out.

we shared experiences, we shared views and yes, im changed yet again.

we all need to talk, we all need to know answers, we all need closure.

yes, friends must talk.

yes, even enemies must talk.

most importantly i need to talk to you.

to talk, as friends. only friends.

to catch up, to relive the good old days, to rekindle a broken friendship.

what do you say? =D

haha i might sound scary here, but be assured im still sane.

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the countdown to wallaby begins. 8 days left…

to be gone from singapore from 20 days… i dunno, but i think 20 days is alot lor.

i dunno why i so emo also, its not like im not coming back?

but regardless, i feel very very sian.

just went to mandai hill camp to send my kit bag in the afternoon.

the stage is set. i will go.

hopefully i can get monday n tuesday off next week, so i can mentally prep myself (for the dunno 632784625154 times) for the exercise.

hong gan la.

oh yea, the neoprints i took on sunday? my mates said i look like a girl. preeeeetty sia. lol.

*thumbs up*

and yesh, i WILL wear contacts. dunno when, but its just a matter of time.

being influenced by beautiful people =]

i can only hope.

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