o yeah...i shall go through a credit post...lolx..
for alll the super nice ppl whu gave me pressies n d ppl whu wished me happi bdae...
lolx.. ok..shall go by..when they giv..
so thank yew to...
fur, ave, pz for d globy tingy n d pencil case..
then erm....mudskipper for d lolx...cow com screen cleaner..
then mellon for d notebk..
then blanche for d cow tingy.. lolx..
and then theres aww.... the animal frens..
as in...NIGEL(see fishy..i use real name..) AFINA..n d lil boy, YANGY...
for d omg...so freaking super duper duper ruper raly dooper ARTEMIS FOWL: OPAL DECPETION
bookie...as in..omg... its the ONLY book i got lolx...
so touched *cries buckets*
ok...aniwax..todaes el paper was crap mann...
ig i got 40/50, or even 35, i v happi liao..
and yeah... i dun wana dwell on it...
yepx..todae wah..crazi mann...
12.30 finish then cheong to plae monopoly..
wahhh...me n wing liang dominate mann..
i damn "jian" extort $$ frm qing liang and everitin.. taico mann he..
but then he wldnt hav done it without d guy helping him..me me hor..no one help still manage to get 2nd..
i totally lyk...pack away 6000 bucks worth of cash and lyk...4000 worth of property not to mention life lines and everithing..
not bad liao..but then wah..aft that hor... wahh
avelyn was push ova...chang hong was neutral..lolx..
nice mann... me qing liang n d other 2 na bois wah...tyco...
me me cunning..then qing liang pro cuz got tt guy help..
actually, in d boy's terms im freaking branded "jian"... humph..
then i continue to crack d code whilst horsey n fishy duno....do wat..
then aft tt we sat at d bus stop..n talk..n talk..n talk..
nice mann..duno miss how mani 14s..sigh*
but if i didnt miss hor..then i wldnt see ting at d bus stop liao..lolx..
i was talking to her..she change alot..physically..
looks more lyk her bro now..duno lehx..
look more matured...looks weird without specs..
she told me she saw pig.. then she LET DOWN HER HAIR...ewwww
so about there lah..sigh* shall..go take a bath then..duno..deciper the code. lolx

ohhh..todae is soooo nice...actually, it jus became nice..
lolx...mi dad got me a soft toy!!! as in..i know its not biggie to sumppl..
but mi giraffe was supposed to b mi last..lolx :D
mi dad got me a bear!!! o yeah! its soooo cute! frm nici..
n its lyk...awww..it d spring collection..
i didnt see it in mi room until i came out frm d bath room..
lolx.. n it was on mi bed all along..awww..
so sweet!!! yepx..
todae is lobsters bdae... HAPPI BDAE LOBBY!
its her 15th bdae..shes getting OLD...
so close to 18..
aniwax... todae was so toot..
damn mdm chng... scold me n pz..
i cant help it if her lessons r boring n if i hav to fiddle wif SMTHG..
n tt smthg just so happened to b mi hair..humph..
then lyk...when she went off, the whole class got into.. tis..gender issue..n i duno y..
i onli noe tt i started it by calling her a blardy toot n horsey lyk..
'touch sumore...touch sumore' then duno wad...bald ting..then jun yuan started then wah..
nice. cree was talking too, tho he wasnt supposed to. kinda stupid lor..
chng cant....push him around...but..i suppose both sides r at fault..
hm....i went to eat at BK wif cher, blanche n edna todae..

did i mention tt someone lyk..vandalize d sch? guess not..
it was pretty artistic or so the tchs saed frm d artistic pt of view..
as in..d person was real good in d control lor.. n d word b nice sumore.
onli ting was tt it was an eyesore..as in..OK lah..
it was in blue.. but apart frm d vulgarities, a job well done tho d person shld hav done it at his/her hse instead..
as in...sch doesnt reli lk nice wif those..
plus wah...instead of d dot on d i rite..there was a star.
cheryl was crazi ova it. heard tt 3/d n 2/a kana also..
then d star damn nice..duno how they do it..
mrs eng was lyk..' tts artistic! '
mdm tay n all d disapline ppl were furious.. literally..
and wah..they forbid anione frm lyk..walking past...
it was pretty settled..they just covered it wif white paint during reading.
then by d time it was about..9 smthg, already gone. v fast.
everione was talking about it...soooo cool.
as in...in a non disaplined POV. kinda exciting to hear wad everione was gona sae..
lolx. todae was kinda hyper too..
ms chua wasnt here..then the whole class was in liquid form..literally.
then our angelic reputation is GONE..
1/1 won d math challenge :D soooo take ova us.
but we're gona win it tis yr too. lyk last yr..n bring it along wif us in sec 3. lolx :D
we so pro seh. we were damn motivated cuz mdm salenah told us tt everitime, its 1/3 or 1/4 tt wins..
and lyk...wah..we reli gave it all last yr mann..
im gona b in d same gp again! :D
erm...tt means siti, wei yang, qing liang n me n....duno
lolx.............i shall go nerd. i jus finish learning gong han! as in..the yao qing one.

hm..i was reflecting on habakkuk..
in case u find tis name weird or smthg..
its one of d names of the minor prophets..
hm..hes an interesting person..
instead of god, questioning him on the people..
he questions god on why there is so much bad...
we christians sometimes/ always say/sing god is so good.
if he is so good, why is there still do much sin?
i think the answer lies in sin itself..
we created it, did we not?
as in..d whole adam and eve thing..
we were the cause..
and god cant just snap his fingers n sin disappears..
i think...god is like....i duno..
he tries to erase it..
but he can only erase sin when we allow him to...
by accepting, loving...and...believing..
hm...soooo weird... its like..analyzing some...lit bk..
when im analyzing d BIBLE, the most read book on earth...
hard to decipher...d minor prophets..
well...i shall go back to reading habakkuk..
his name means embrace...soooo cool...
aunty ginny gave tis talk on d minor prophets last last wk...
she saed tt they were seen as seers...as in..they prophesize b little..
but they talk more about the present..
known as sevants of god, gods word...etc..
it must be real cool to b lyk sum msger..lyk hermes tho of course, hes not real..
and then they get to see all d visions...tho some are bad n all...
dun mind mi senseless drivel if it sounds senseless to u..
hmmmmmmmmmmm...ponder...
carnt blive im studying for bible quiz..
lolx..havnt form gp yet..
i shall b lyk nat n eileen's gp tis yr..
eg...wad is d name of xxx isiah?
ans: mr isiah
i think they will test some weird ting on d minor prophets..
eg: what is d dimension of the fish which swallowed jonah?
ans: A math qn therefore, NA.
last time, they tested us on how many verses john had altogether..
and then how many chapters genesis was..
then they got crazy and asked how many words..
so cool..
im looking forward to church retreat and bible quiz..
so cool! im bunking wif yi mei n michelle foo..
i suspect a pillow fite n then singing of d cow song..lolx...
i tink its gona b real cool.
and while i grow spiritually, mi parents shall go to hk n get me clothes..yeah!
im lyk...soooo smart..
me organize everithing.. lolx..:D:D:D:D
k..gtg now..buaize..

i cant blive mi seniors left..
as in..they're so dear..
si hui.. melissa..gina..cindy...farhan...hanna..eden..
yi ling.... :'( no one wld ask me to...keep quiet animore..
and then...*sobs*
sigh* i'll nvr see them again..
as in... i wun b able to shout 'siiii huuuiiii!!! heeeellllppp!!!' animore..
or i duno..sigh*
eden wun b there to blast..
and lyk.. :'( *cries buckets*
i shall....plae d tenor..even if it kills me..
i willingly plae... n do d band proud..
dun worri xin yi... i shall take gd care of d band..
tho i duno how..
i shall...push mi juniors.. and make them up to standard..
no more bronze for bgss!! a silver AT LEAST we will hold
n make our seniors proud!
im supposed to post tis yesterdae...but was too tired..
i CRIED mann...sigh* nvr new i had it in me...
nvr had such great seniors...
actually...nvr xperienced it b4..
sigh* i suppose tis is a stepping stone...
we mus learn to b independent..
and thx melissa..for tt WONDERFUL note..
it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nice..
i hope u catch d sarcasm..
actually..it was nice...EXCEPT d last part n i shall NOT elaborate..humph
u wld prob hear bout me n nat competting on whu can plae tenor betta..lolx!
its war...again..lolx..
there were tears of happiness and sadness yesterdae in d band rm..
it was just..a sight to bhold..
so nice..so touching..
and lyk..jun jun was grabbing tissues.
talk bout saving d environment...seriously!
jian yu was distributing tissues..
claimed it was his 'job'....wonder how much his salary is..
o well..hav to go to tuiton now..
i will miss u seniors!!! the great times we had..
dun worri..i will create more world wars until adeline goes crazi n livid..:D:D:D:D:D
u can do it adeline!!! sl!!! :D

hi..todae was soooo cool...
lolx... as in...we played our marches...
then wow..we PARRRTTTYY!!!!
got cake..sparkling wine..etc..
it was sooo nice! and the animal frens took a pic...
sooooo coool..
not to mention the saxophones.. :D:D:D:D:D
we all took a pic.. baritone, alto, tenor..rox mann..
and i hav to trans to tenor..
no choice..
but nat has to go to baritone..awww
all d best ya..
some tings r sooo troubling..
onli trouble is...i cant even tell anione...cept miself lah..
sigh* sigh* sigh* so sad...i must keep it in..nvm..
a secret is a secret..
and i shall eat dinner n study for mi science test.
i jus found out smthg....scary about d band...v scary indeed...
i found out tt ______ has a secret of _____ in the band..
they __________and _________...soooo scary.. soooo scary..
the words r written in invisible ink..
so if u wana see, wet ur com..wet ur com! lolx..
whu will b TT stupid?
aniwax...d pw presentation was excellent...
totally mann..totally.
and we got losta stuff...for geog tmr..
sigh* bag is gona b heavy..
have to bring everitin home..
but luckily mi parents fetching me.. lolx..
i tink mi bag will b light..HOPE so..
sigh* stressed..xams r lyk..round d corner..
xams n xmas spelling almst the same..
yet entirely different..
soooo scary... as in.. u noe lah..
but.... i dun wana set high goals..
toodaloo!!

todae..was...stressed..
i was quite gloomy and totally PMSed..
reason? got PMS lah... sooooo prone to irritating now.. sorri..
and so i stared the day..really tired and all... it dragged on n on..on n on..
wahhh..can DIE man..then still got rehersal..
didnt reli eat todae cuz got no appetite n having mood swing..
first i was happi then gloomy..
hyper then totally... sooooo dejected..
if ya get wad i mean..
i was quite snappy towards d end of the dae..
as in..i snapped at nat...oops.. but nvm...:D *smirks*
was pissed off wif d junior band instructor..
he is so...sigh*
and sad to sae..throughout the whole rehersal
the band was...gloomy..
we were sooo gloomy.. our gloominess totally radiated.
as in..it spread sooooo much tt choir was affected...
malay dance didnt reli smile..
and well...d onli ppl unaffected were some COLD HEARTED ppl n the dance n drama..
they sooooo rocked the kallang threatre man!!!!
y? they got GOLD WITH HONOURS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
aniwax.....we were gloomy cuz the sch didnt reli giv us support..n we didnt do our best.
n then when everione started talking about it..i was feeling sooo... i duno..sad...
we didnt blame anione. we just thought we lacked experience.
so yeah. the gloominess radiated so much, even mr toh n mrs tan came to comfort us..
saying that the sch was bhind us. yeah right!
as in... 'we wld now lyk to introduce the dance n drama for making the sch proud 4 getting gold with honours!'
as in..soooo bias..didnt the concert band, choir and malay dance make the sch proud?
***** them mann... lyk as if we didnt do anitin! lyk we didnt practice..lyk we didnt work lyk slaves..
the more i thought about it..the more sad i felt..
and i tink everyone was sad.. save SOME people..
wad can i sae? girls r more emotional..
i ALMOST cried..TWICE..
once during d rehersal when i was so fed up..
then another time when mrs quek was talking to us and then she was crying...
the clarinets cried..
and the cornets..
alto sax was...neutral.. i was holding bak...
it was sooo painful..then o mann..was so freaking moody throughout the whole keeping instrument ting..
then went to change..
sigh* was sighing the whole time...
as in...yes..lyk wad horsey saed, cannot cry ova spilt milk..
but hes devoid of emotion..
and well...fishy n natalie lack d passion..they reli lack it..
as in..they didnt even feel sad..not once!
i tink the onli ppl whu were into it were edna, blanche, d clarinet, flutes..
sigh* im dissappointed in the animal frens..as in..the animal animal frens..
as in..dun they feel anitin? yes..cannot cry ova spilt milk but at least feel a LITTLE remorsful rite?
sigh* duno lah... feel so sad and stressed..
i MUST get a silver at LEAST b4 i leave this sch..
if not, all d hard work for NOTHING!
must aim..must work..must practice..
and together, we will do it!
the sec 2s '05 will do it! we will make it..
we will seize it..
we will come back..
we will rule.
we will do it...
we will get silver..AT LEAST!
we will do our sch prouder than it eva was made..
we will make mrs quek CRY and mr tan CRY not bcuz of sum other sch but bcuz of US!
we will make ms yip proud.
we will improve and practice..
we will do our very best..
we will clinch it.
we will make all the other bands b in disgrace.
y? bcuz at our 2nd time, we will DO IT!
sec 2s... we will make our seniors proud..
we will not play..
we will take it seriously..
and slap everyone in d face for looking down on us.
we will enter the hall..we will face everyone..and look at them
and WIN!

haix...mi sch got a BRONZE for SYF..
i tink tts not bad considering tt its our FIRST time entering.
lolx... i tink everitin was real nice.
until d ONE squeek and erm..some flats..according to the flute master class tch.
i thot it was pretty gd..
as in..we practiced real hard..
and all we have to do now is to do BETTER!
as wat d sec 2s saed..
if someone's band is gd, we r betta..
if they are betta, we r d best..
if they r d best, we r super..
if they r super, we r supercalifragilisticespialidocious..
you all realised tt we're sooooo naive but...yeah mann..
i tink we rule..
it was kinda sad tho..to know tt the bloody sch didnt support us..
as in..they didnt even annouce n no one wished us gd luck lor...
so toot...so terrible...sigh*
aniwax...we all went bak tired lyk crap..
and then wahh...i still stay bak n study science mann...
but...its finally OVER...so relieved... but it was super..
there was this part where the whole band just climaxed..
it was..wow.. sooooooo melodious!!!
it was OK lah..we kept our nerves even tho there was a lil screwing up..
and....it was just..wow.. wow wow..
n the bus ride was NICE..
there were COWS all over the place!!! sooo nice!!!
and the whole band was like..sher!!! cows!!!!
lolx.. then i started bcuming hungry when we were heading bak..
luckily mrs quek had d decency to distribute biscuits..
but tt idiot dumbass mr tan... went to support bedok view instead of bedok green..
wad an ass shit mann..tt guy..cry not bcuz we get bronze but bcuz his dumb ex sch got silver..wad a toot..
tt damn *****
bak to d story... she got us biscuits..
but not enough..
so how? natalie n horsey stole half of mine n fishy's ..soooo toot..
but it was weird..
got rasin...n nuts..n it was butter..
then wah..when i change n eat noodles n all tt hor..
mi stomach cldnt take it mann..
hurt lyk shit...as in..wah..super pain..
then sumore still got rehersal tmr..
duno if our band can do well d nxt 2 yrs or not..
as in..u see d standard of d sec 1s lyk crap shit..
sigh* they've got alot to learn mann..they've got alot to learn..
so yepx..alls well tt ends well...
n the most amusing thing?
all those schs who got bronze cried lyk shit..
and then our sch walked away smiling..soooo priceless mann...so priceless..
and i gave horsey a scar...retribution mann..retribution..
n when we were walking home..
got this cockroach n grasshopper or cricket on d middle of d ting..
n i unfortunately screamed bloody shit..
then wah.... was stuck there for 3 mins until i got enough courage to.....run past it..
as in..stupid rite..
got guts to talk, to present to plae n all tt but not guts to lyk..walk past a 6 legged ting..lolx!!!
sooooo ridiculous!!!! shall eat din now....

hi all...i just want to wish d band gd luck n all d best..
we've gone sooooo far..wow..
o mann..im already getting d jitters..
d positive ones tt is..but i shall not dwell on syf..
todae was utter hell...had a damn boring dae...
but i still managed to scrape and A for mi cl..lolx..
aniting is possible mann.
now i just hope that mi math n science will improve..
i did pretty well for mi el...
81 and for geog, 85..
at least im maintaining..
but i didnt tink i did tt well for el..
rachel beat me..AGAIN!
n its all due to some careless mistake on mi part!
urgh...*** her...
she seems to beat me in el every. single. time. humph..
mi throne is gone..*** her lah..
but her tenses still not so gd..
n she STUDIES..i dun.. :D:D:D:D
i get d pic tt im comforting miself..lolx...
but nvm lah..at least i have reputation..she dun have..
even if she de throne me..nthg will happen..
lolx..comforting miself again..realised this is NOT healthy..
mi mum is trying..to...plait mi hair..eww..
aniwax... if all fails, i shall tie it in a freaking tail..
lolx..xuan is considering giving me one of those orange/yellow/ pink cows found on d street..
lolx..so sweet! but i doubt it..lolx. so yeah... i shall ...do smthg contructive..
lyk make hist notes n prepare mi gp for.. d presentation. lolx..yepx.

SYF is in 2 days and all d band members as well as some of the other non band members r feeling the heat.
all anxious. the day in which we would make history would be forever etched into our memories.
wow. concert band making history. ME setting history..
as in...wow..pioneer batch of concert band mates going into SYF for the FIRST time.
i was like...remebering the hard work we all put in..to make sure we could play..
but most importantly for us however, was the experience we gained..
or the satisfaction we felt when we achieved our goals.
thinking back, i rememberd how the band progressed.
how hard the tenor, altos, clarinets and cornets put into get the malody going..
how we learned the rythm and the second voice..
how we did the fortes and pianicimos..
i remembered 2 particular inccidents..maybe more..when me and blache just looked at each other and smiled.
not an ordinary smile. no words were needed to tell each other that...they did it!
there was the inccident whereby jia hui was finally heard...
when the euphoniums were finally able to do the cords..
i was just..wow..music..so incredible..
i just hope that the band would get a silver or bronze.
but i dont think it really matters. what matters is that we knew that we tried our best..
and the only thing we can do is to improve and to bring glory to our school.
its such an incredible thing, is it not?
all the diffuculties we overcome...how we helped each other..
shows true friendship to the core.
thank the heavens for good seniors! and of course, good friends :D:D:D
i just hope that the band would be satisfied when we play our piece.
think almost one year of practice...heart, body, mind and soul..
we have put our everything and winning, is only the icing on the cake.
experience is filling enough. its just a case of mind over matter now for the band members...
wish us all good luck yal!

ok...final verdict, mi parents r literally RIDICULOUS....
as in..its soooo stupid!
mi bdae is AGES away..
and they already got me a bdae gift..
ok..i had 2 but i rejected the other one.
as in..which freak who is...gona b 14 wld accept a freaking rolex watch.
i bloody freaked on tt..
i sat on d bed then i was lyk...quiet for....3 mins?!?!?!?!
then i literally freaked as in.
i was lyk..'how old m i?'
' wat is TT for?'
wahh...priceless man..mi dad sorta had this defeated look on his face..
and wow wee..i didnt get books!
as in...geeze..ok...i know im supposed to be satisfied with what i have but cant i just
freaking bloody ask for something SIMPLE?!?!?!?!
o yeah..eileen..b prepared to get another tiffany ting frm mi dad..
luckily tt was 'for the future' as what mi dad called it...*phew*
the real one lyk..came much later.
i got smthg tiffany!!! o yeah!
they got me a charm bracelet and an ever soooo nice necklace!!!!
and mi aunty..she got me smthg from perlini!!! o yeah!
im lyk...jumping allll over the place..
i tink mi dad n aunt share sum telepathical link or smthg..
as in... wah..they all got me hearth shapped stufff...sooooo nice mann!!!
im not supposed to take sides or b bias or aniting..but o mann..i soooo LOVE the necklace mi parents gave ME...
lolx...lolx...sigh* havnt study for test yet...pooooooo....
i still wan abhorsen trilogy....sigh*
nxt time prehaps....so cool. mi mum stil owes me a 'pipping hot' tee mann..
soooo cool. *jumps on d bed*
i had a sorta OK day lah..
cant blive i left mi cross n all tt in mi gran's hse..sigh*
o yeah... btw...the REAL HORRIBLE thig is GONE!!!!
im soooo happi..now i can RIP!!
okkk..now d bad thing...the really bad thing..
*shoots miself*
*@&(#^0(&!)(#&)(!*$*_)*!)&&!*&# so guess wad im talking..lolx
stabs d table...
sigh*....shall sleep n rejoice!!!

im bored..
im dying..
as in not really...
but i tink i've lost mi hyperness
as in todae..
sudd..
i felt soooo tired and just stopped bouncing altogether.
sigh*
dun feel lyk blogging. so sian! and the fact that i dun feel lyk....
went to band todae..
and learnt chapter 6 n 7. nice mann. justina's a total xpert!
thanks mann!!! so now im completely understand. lolx.

i shall type in THIS so totally pink colour todae..onli wae in d sch...lolx.
so lyk..im so bored..fnished mi researchin in...how long? 5-7 mins max. so totally rule..
i for one know that not everybody has finished so must as well use the time right? i know..
i know too well... im just hoping ms chua isnt near..lolx
d it room not tt small wad.so yepx. cross fingers.
i have speech dae rehersal todae not to mention i have to lyk... prepare
some geog thing for the speech dae exhitbition.
lolx.... sigh* cant blive im doing it again..
now in BAND uni..sigh*
last year kabaya this yr band u..
im gona DIE mann...
ave, pz, fur, li ping, eileen and shimin r in it too..again.
this is gona be a sooo not to good year mann..
i have mani tests lined up nxt wk and NONE of them fall on 14th april! which is of course, SYF.
haix.... this is bad rite? so sad...
and im supposed to study geog now but whats the point when i already memorised everything?
the good thing about sec 2 geog is that well... its really kinda common sense so
lyk..u dun reli hav to do ANITIN...
im so happi..n hyper..but super super hungry..
u wld b if u jumped here n there...so freaking hyper and onli ate half a guava for recess..
i spent the whole recess lyk..choosing books for the library again.
it was mrs b this time. but she still let me choose.
mrs tan actually called me SHERMAINE..as in..whoa..
seriously.. she spent her whole life calling me denise or florence. same for candy..
hm..i wonder y..
then mrs lee called me shAmaine todae..sigh*
and yeah..i dun tink i'll EVER hav mi name pronounced correctly ..EVER.
as in...in all mi young lil life..not to mention innocent..
most adults have been calling me shAmaine!!!
seriously..sigh* anwiax.........i tink i shall do smthg else now..
so tiring. hav el programe and speech dae rehersal aft this..

sigh* mi world is sooo NOT getting better..
well...aniwax...todae was pretty normal and all..
i got a new gp for juniors!!!
rachels gona b mi gp leader n xuan's gona assist.
dustin n chris r there too
so is cheryl and.... shermaine!
yepx....lil shermaine. not me lah..d other one. lolx
so cute...
we had this... qs n it was sooo lame! but it was real fun.
i tink rachel will make a gd gp leader..
yi wen was nice but then..she didnt xactly have time.
so interaction btween d whole gp wasnt tt great.
but rachel..whoa..interaction damn high seh..
so nice..i LOVE mi gp..so warm..
as in..i cant stand services which r soooo crowded
them interaction is soo limitted.
sigh* aniwax...i hav to nerd now..
as in..do math olympiad qs again..sigh*

okkk..
i just found out smthg real horrid..
but i shall not sae lest it gets worse...
o mann..fate has dealt a cruel blow..
i shall just cross mi fingers n pray..
pray real hard..

im nerding..was nerding..
currently..reading..
i feel as if everything is tearing mi world apart..
the wall that i have built around me is crumbling..
its falling and im left alone... unprotected from the outside world..
m i mentally strong? can i hold on?
can i pick miself up when i fall?
can i even bring miself to say that i have failed and have to try again?
can i face the future and forget the past?
i have failed once, can i now pass?
all these questions through mi head..
there is so much talent in spore. where m i?
will i b able to get past d ppl in RI...RGS..NYGH...CH? NEVER.
so mani ppl better than i...so mani ppl surrounding me..choking..
taking mi very last breath..
im competing against the world..against every living thing..
to pick miself up..and show the world..that i can do it...?
what m i talking about? what m i typing?
sounds and looks like senseless gibberish...
this is tearing mi world apart..
what if i fail mi math again? what if..i dont make it?
what if i dont improve in science...what will i do?
i have to do well im math and science..or so mi father told me..
if i dont, mi future would b bleak..dark..and horrid..
everything is math and science..
but i want to study the different languages..i want to see the world..
i want to understand and comprehend and make it to the top...
so if u ask me how can i study, i ask u why cant i?
how insecure i feel if i dont study..
how scared i will feel if i do it at the last minute..
how i can say that i have at least tried and not tried to do it at the last minute..
mi security blanket is gone..mi walls r breaking..
im going to be left defenceless soon...i think mi spirit is dying..
no one can help me..i can feel it..no one can save me...i just know it..
im left alone in this world..with no one close to me..
no one to relate to...no one to tell..
no one to share with...no one to laugh with..
no one to cry with...no one to play with..
i feel as if mi world is falling..
held by a thin line, vunerable as a spider's web...
bit by bit... piece by piece..breaking.. falling..crushing..
some times, i wonder how ppl look at me..
wat wld happen if i wasnt there..not much wld change..
just one less person in d world, one more dead..
no one wld care ...right?
as in...seriously.. no one wld..im sure of it...

hiya!!!
realised mi blog is soooo screwed..but nvm..shall find a new skin..dots..
im nerding now.
have been nerding a bit here n there since 5...lolx
plus eating dinner and watching tv..
i have come to a realisation that i can study ANYWHERE be it concrete, carpet, noisey and all that
as in..i can take notes and remember ANYTHING. whoa..
i have super natural powers mann!!! super shermaine!!!..tt was sooo LAME..
aniwax... i just finished revising for geography and m now doing science.
y one earth wld i wana mug soooo earli?
simple. time constraint. got tennis, got piano, got qing ming, got mi auntys n uncles cuming ova..
alllll this in d month of april. INCLUDING mi precious bdae n of course, mid yr.
sigh* im not xactly feeling d stress but now, wif no books to occupy me and no tv channels to watch..
well...i sorta needed to do smthg. and tt smthg happens to be STUDY..
n here i m, trying to blog to no avail..
as in..wat m i supposed to talk about?
u guys wld b soooo bored if i EVER EVER EVER talked about nerding..lyk...now.
so wat to do? ramble senselessly.
i duno wats got into me but i seriously need to nerd. to some extent. i can literally watch tv n absorb. so much for needing peace n quiet..
i just freaking need a 'table' actually..just paper, books n pen.
as in..during sports dae when i was doing geog notes, horsey was d table lolx.. now i hav mi books spread allll ova d table.
im sooooooo interested in d transport system of man. its lyk..soooo cool!
okk..i just had a senseless chat wif....haz, omar n alvin/max..
seriously..2/2 boys ahhh...i got nthg to sae???? dotters!
aniwax..got tennis now..buaize!!!