03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009
01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009
02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009
03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009
04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009
05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009
06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009
09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009
10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009
11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009
12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010
01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010
02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010
03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010
09/01/2010 - 10/01/2010
10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010
08/01/2012 - 09/01/2012
Bituwin -
template
Dementee -
image
Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
Hit counter code here
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Yes finally getting a bit of life back!! *big grinz* But probably only for the weekend.. Horrible.. Gotta go back to school for extra lessons..
Went jogging along the Singapore River this morning.. Was so peaceful and quiet.. But damn tiring.. Jogged from great world city to the esplanade.. About 4km.. Heheh but at least not as unfit as I thought I was la.. Dad even worse.. Jogged until kallang river.. Then still can reach back to great world city faster than me.. =_=.. But went to check out the art display in the esplanade.. Quite interesting.. Think the security guard was a bit suspicious cuz I was the only one inside walking around.. Giving me this "if you don't get out, I'm going to throw you out" look.. Haiz.. But went to eat mee rebus and probably put on all the weight back again if not more..
So in trouble now. Everyone is STUDYING and MUGGING!! Bleah! Haven't started yet. This is not good. I'm going to owe a lot of people lunch!! Cannot cannot. Can't stick to the useless timetable I made.. Too many things to do.. Urgh.. Then spending all my time packing my room also.. So disorganised. Everything's all in a mess. Especially all my tutorials.. All in bits and pieces, mostly half done. *shakes head*.. Must must must do well!!!! No time already...
Yea anyway was just thinking.. What's wrong with fake people?? Fake people usually just act that way because they don't know how else to act. They just don't know what to do to be accepted, or don't feel accepted when they act themselves so they have to take on another character or just act differently. So some people don't like fakers. Like they haven't been fake before themselves. Maybe other than a few exceptions, everybody acts fake sometime in their life.. Being fake is necessary and is sometimes needed for socialising and teamwork. Cuz also, if things don't go your way but it needs to be like that for the better good sometimes.. Then it's pointless being all whiny and wilful and throwing a big fuss. Just go along with a smile and agree la.. Saves all the trouble too..
Slacking like crazy now.. hooked on the star wars 3 visual dictionary...
Went jogging along the Singapore River this morning.. Was so peaceful and quiet.. But damn tiring.. Jogged from great world city to the esplanade.. About 4km.. Heheh but at least not as unfit as I thought I was la.. Dad even worse.. Jogged until kallang river.. Then still can reach back to great world city faster than me.. =_=.. But went to check out the art display in the esplanade.. Quite interesting.. Think the security guard was a bit suspicious cuz I was the only one inside walking around.. Giving me this "if you don't get out, I'm going to throw you out" look.. Haiz.. But went to eat mee rebus and probably put on all the weight back again if not more..
So in trouble now. Everyone is STUDYING and MUGGING!! Bleah! Haven't started yet. This is not good. I'm going to owe a lot of people lunch!! Cannot cannot. Can't stick to the useless timetable I made.. Too many things to do.. Urgh.. Then spending all my time packing my room also.. So disorganised. Everything's all in a mess. Especially all my tutorials.. All in bits and pieces, mostly half done. *shakes head*.. Must must must do well!!!! No time already...
Yea anyway was just thinking.. What's wrong with fake people?? Fake people usually just act that way because they don't know how else to act. They just don't know what to do to be accepted, or don't feel accepted when they act themselves so they have to take on another character or just act differently. So some people don't like fakers. Like they haven't been fake before themselves. Maybe other than a few exceptions, everybody acts fake sometime in their life.. Being fake is necessary and is sometimes needed for socialising and teamwork. Cuz also, if things don't go your way but it needs to be like that for the better good sometimes.. Then it's pointless being all whiny and wilful and throwing a big fuss. Just go along with a smile and agree la.. Saves all the trouble too..
Slacking like crazy now.. hooked on the star wars 3 visual dictionary...
Friday, May 27, 2005
GP exam!!! =S.. Was quite bad.. See all the questions already dunno how to do all.. In the end went to do some greed question cuz it was so general.. Kinda ok la.. But then the last one I did I also thought was ok.. Then got like 20/50... So when I think it's ok, it's probably not.. Compre even worse.. All sorts of funny nonsense come out.. Healthism, me-to-ism... Wadeva they mean.. Glad it's OVER! For now..
Went for some breakdance thing in the evening with my mum, bro, her friend and her son.. Some american breakdance troupe.. Oh man.. So boring.. Felt kinda out too.. With people five, six years younger than me and other people one whole generation older.. Heh and I'm feeling guilty for thinking like this.. Well, for one thing, it was the stand up type of show with NO SEATS. And as usual we were late.. So all of us were stuck behind the sea of heads.. could hardly see a thing.. Except when their feet went up in the air.. Only could see shoes.. Then people cheer, we all also cheer.
And NOBODY DANCED!! Erm... These type of things, people are SUPPOSED TO DANCE! So we had this human boombox and this totally out-of-this-world american dj jamming the whole night with all those funky beats and everyone juz stood there with arms folded listening only.. *faintz* To think the government wants to make singapore a fun city. Yea we have more fun stuff going on now.. But will people participate??
Went for some breakdance thing in the evening with my mum, bro, her friend and her son.. Some american breakdance troupe.. Oh man.. So boring.. Felt kinda out too.. With people five, six years younger than me and other people one whole generation older.. Heh and I'm feeling guilty for thinking like this.. Well, for one thing, it was the stand up type of show with NO SEATS. And as usual we were late.. So all of us were stuck behind the sea of heads.. could hardly see a thing.. Except when their feet went up in the air.. Only could see shoes.. Then people cheer, we all also cheer.
And NOBODY DANCED!! Erm... These type of things, people are SUPPOSED TO DANCE! So we had this human boombox and this totally out-of-this-world american dj jamming the whole night with all those funky beats and everyone juz stood there with arms folded listening only.. *faintz* To think the government wants to make singapore a fun city. Yea we have more fun stuff going on now.. But will people participate??
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Last day!!! Yes.... and quite a lot of lectures too so can slack.. A bit worried for gp on fri.. But at least can sleep in tomorrow.. Sianz.. think I have to spend half of tomorrow packing my room.. So messy. Glad that the lights are back.. Was so irritating.. The upstairs toilet lights had gone berserk the past few days.. Blinked on and off so rapidly.. Maybe this is how this contemporary artist won the modern art award by just switching the light off and on in an empty room.. Must have got berserk toilet lights too.. So everytime went toilet had to use torchlight.. Especially in the morning.. When it is so dark.. Bleah.. Then always have thoughts of the ju-on ghost haunting the toilet....
Maid also gone back to philippines for 2 weeks.. Argh!! Housework!!! Haha.. Doing the dishes is sooo disastrous.. Glad my mum's doing the cooking.. Never tried her cooking ever since p1.. Miss her cooking.. Kinda cuz she's doing the cooking.. It's like she's putting all the effort and love into it.. So it's different.. Had an interesting mix of brown rice with raisins, corn and cucumber yesterday.. Hmmm.. but the taste.. Don't quite know where to place it.. But she cooks the BEST mushroom omelette!!
Was supposed to go and learn openings for chess.. Ended up playing blitz like crazy heheh.. Have phobia playing with blee.. So must practise first.. So sad!! Left my chess book in the class!! Hope someone put it with the chess boards.. Or that's half my good openings gone!!
Still think vonzell should be in the american idol finals la.. Country vs rock.. Country is kinda... boring.. and this type of rock is... also boring.. No offence to carrie and bo fans... But i find that soul is still better than country and rock la... Hope carrie wins.. Still don't understand what bo's singing.. He can't sing slow songs.. Yar.. though I think he would still win..
haunting surreal reality
Maid also gone back to philippines for 2 weeks.. Argh!! Housework!!! Haha.. Doing the dishes is sooo disastrous.. Glad my mum's doing the cooking.. Never tried her cooking ever since p1.. Miss her cooking.. Kinda cuz she's doing the cooking.. It's like she's putting all the effort and love into it.. So it's different.. Had an interesting mix of brown rice with raisins, corn and cucumber yesterday.. Hmmm.. but the taste.. Don't quite know where to place it.. But she cooks the BEST mushroom omelette!!
Was supposed to go and learn openings for chess.. Ended up playing blitz like crazy heheh.. Have phobia playing with blee.. So must practise first.. So sad!! Left my chess book in the class!! Hope someone put it with the chess boards.. Or that's half my good openings gone!!
Still think vonzell should be in the american idol finals la.. Country vs rock.. Country is kinda... boring.. and this type of rock is... also boring.. No offence to carrie and bo fans... But i find that soul is still better than country and rock la... Hope carrie wins.. Still don't understand what bo's singing.. He can't sing slow songs.. Yar.. though I think he would still win..
haunting surreal reality
Monday, May 23, 2005
Great.. chess individuals today were totally so... BLEAH!!! See.. I'm just not cut out for individuals. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad!!!! Ya well at least not yet. Need to practise!!! Horrible horrible horrible!!!! K thank goodness I didn't go all the way down to board 100.. Which was what I feared.. But it's just not good la.. Team in july.. So little time left.. June holidays is ONLY for mugging midyrs.. BLEAH! At this rate, don't think I deserve to be put in already.. *TOTALLY FREAKS OUT* Some can win but never win. Got queen but still never win. The point is.. although it could have been, IT WASN'T! URGH!!!
But I guess I realised why I agreed to go.. Although I'm so anti-individuals.. Cuz I missed the chess scene-ish environment.. And the people there who don't just play for themselves but also rooting for you to win while you're thinking the same for them.. It's like.. Everybody's there for each other in an unspoken way.. Feel like the real fun is in there.. Hmm.. heheh.. maybe that's because I didn't even get into "The Room".. With all the zai people.. And I'm just consoling myself.. Ha yea yea...
Was quite funny this morning.. With everyone coming so late.. And SOME PEOPLE even making everybody wait outside their house.. *evil grinz*.. And other bus stop dramas.. Then this mr vincent chong kept on smsing EVERYONE of us (rich guy..) 3 times per person telling us how late we were.. Half wanted to zao to town cuz we thought we wouldn't be able to make it for registration and watch star wars with terry or something.. Prize presentation was also quite stupid la when we were waiting for it to start.. Like some birthday party like that.. With all the small kids and the over-enthu guy entertaining them.. Started snatching each others name tags which were damn obiang, arm wrestling and taking weird pictures..
Wanted to go chomp chomp to eat but apparently the rest of the chess people who skipped the prize presentation got there first.. Ended up going to macs.. Took more "disturbing" pics.. Especially the sauce one.. Ewww.. Haha...
Went for my much-needed retail therapy when I got back to novena.. Though this is not good.. Too spendthrift. It's turning quite addictive.. Like those wonderful dark chocolate m&ms in the fridge.. I'll be broke in no time.. Must save money!!!
Watched starwars again on sunday.. Cuz my dad was treating.. Though kinda thought I would be damn bored watching the same thing again.. But it wasn't as bad as I expected..
MORE SPOILERS
At first, I thought that the reason why anakin went to the dark side was because circumstances gradually steered him towards that path and it was something that couldn't be changed. But now, after knowing how things would end, I realised that he was steered towards that direction entirely from lord sidious. Every action and sentence said by lord sidious slowly planted seeds of doubts into anakin's mind and fertilised these seeds to sprout into something so concretely terrible.
Lord sidious is such a total genius! First, he told anakin to kill count dooku (what a stupid name.. cuckoo dooku..) so that he could gain the trust of the jedi and ensure that there would be a position open for his new apprentice - anakin. Then, he requested that anakin become his bodyguard in the council(sth along those lines..) so that he could make use of all the private time they had together to slowly influence him onto joining the dark force.
At the same time, he knew that the jedi would be compelled to agree with his decision much as they were against it, because they knew that anakin had gained his trust. So, this would make anakin the best candidate to spy on him. Lord sidious also knew that the jedi would ask anakin to do such a thing out of his conscience, which would just shake the trust anakin had in the jedi.
Then, in the conference of the star systems, he told anakin where count grievous (another stupid unimaginative name) to gain even more trust from the jedi, while using this as an opportunity to appoint anakin to kill count grievous. Doing this while knowing fully well that the jedi council will never agree to such a thing, thus sparking anakin's resentment in them. In the conference, he was also sharing snippets of information of the dark side to bring about immortality as he knew about anakin being unable to let go of padme.
Hence, anakin grew loyal to lord sidious and doubted the jedi, and also saw that the only way to save his wife was to turn to the dark side because that was the only option he knew of available to him. Moreover, it wasn't very hard for him to change sides as he slowly grew to see the jedi in bad light, so his attachment to them wasn't as strong.
So beautiful, the strategising. If only my games were like that today.. Heh. Yea.. lord sidious has such a strong, manipulative grasp of what he wants to get. If only he weren't so merciless and ruthless to innocent lives.. Then he's damn worthy of respect.. What a brilliant mind.
But I guess I realised why I agreed to go.. Although I'm so anti-individuals.. Cuz I missed the chess scene-ish environment.. And the people there who don't just play for themselves but also rooting for you to win while you're thinking the same for them.. It's like.. Everybody's there for each other in an unspoken way.. Feel like the real fun is in there.. Hmm.. heheh.. maybe that's because I didn't even get into "The Room".. With all the zai people.. And I'm just consoling myself.. Ha yea yea...
Was quite funny this morning.. With everyone coming so late.. And SOME PEOPLE even making everybody wait outside their house.. *evil grinz*.. And other bus stop dramas.. Then this mr vincent chong kept on smsing EVERYONE of us (rich guy..) 3 times per person telling us how late we were.. Half wanted to zao to town cuz we thought we wouldn't be able to make it for registration and watch star wars with terry or something.. Prize presentation was also quite stupid la when we were waiting for it to start.. Like some birthday party like that.. With all the small kids and the over-enthu guy entertaining them.. Started snatching each others name tags which were damn obiang, arm wrestling and taking weird pictures..
Wanted to go chomp chomp to eat but apparently the rest of the chess people who skipped the prize presentation got there first.. Ended up going to macs.. Took more "disturbing" pics.. Especially the sauce one.. Ewww.. Haha...
Went for my much-needed retail therapy when I got back to novena.. Though this is not good.. Too spendthrift. It's turning quite addictive.. Like those wonderful dark chocolate m&ms in the fridge.. I'll be broke in no time.. Must save money!!!
Watched starwars again on sunday.. Cuz my dad was treating.. Though kinda thought I would be damn bored watching the same thing again.. But it wasn't as bad as I expected..
MORE SPOILERS
At first, I thought that the reason why anakin went to the dark side was because circumstances gradually steered him towards that path and it was something that couldn't be changed. But now, after knowing how things would end, I realised that he was steered towards that direction entirely from lord sidious. Every action and sentence said by lord sidious slowly planted seeds of doubts into anakin's mind and fertilised these seeds to sprout into something so concretely terrible.
Lord sidious is such a total genius! First, he told anakin to kill count dooku (what a stupid name.. cuckoo dooku..) so that he could gain the trust of the jedi and ensure that there would be a position open for his new apprentice - anakin. Then, he requested that anakin become his bodyguard in the council(sth along those lines..) so that he could make use of all the private time they had together to slowly influence him onto joining the dark force.
At the same time, he knew that the jedi would be compelled to agree with his decision much as they were against it, because they knew that anakin had gained his trust. So, this would make anakin the best candidate to spy on him. Lord sidious also knew that the jedi would ask anakin to do such a thing out of his conscience, which would just shake the trust anakin had in the jedi.
Then, in the conference of the star systems, he told anakin where count grievous (another stupid unimaginative name) to gain even more trust from the jedi, while using this as an opportunity to appoint anakin to kill count grievous. Doing this while knowing fully well that the jedi council will never agree to such a thing, thus sparking anakin's resentment in them. In the conference, he was also sharing snippets of information of the dark side to bring about immortality as he knew about anakin being unable to let go of padme.
Hence, anakin grew loyal to lord sidious and doubted the jedi, and also saw that the only way to save his wife was to turn to the dark side because that was the only option he knew of available to him. Moreover, it wasn't very hard for him to change sides as he slowly grew to see the jedi in bad light, so his attachment to them wasn't as strong.
So beautiful, the strategising. If only my games were like that today.. Heh. Yea.. lord sidious has such a strong, manipulative grasp of what he wants to get. If only he weren't so merciless and ruthless to innocent lives.. Then he's damn worthy of respect.. What a brilliant mind.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Sports dayyyy!!! Finally, no school no mugging no cramming no sitting and listening to tutorials which are totally too fast to catch up.. Had to wake up soooo early.. Urgh... But was real fun.. Our class got second for the 4x400 girls relay!! Was quite funny.. When our class was running, all the supporters kept on running across the field and back to support when the runners were halfway around.. Teachers also ran and ms lim's and mr chin's team quite fast.. Surprisingly faster.. So in the end they won first.
Played volleyball later.. Cannot play volleyball!! Can't serve!! Never ever goes straight!! Out of the whole game, only hit the ball like 3 times.. Yup, but there were quite a few good players. So was a CLOSE match.. 23-25.. Considering none of us has any volleyball experience quite good already la.. Heheh.. Yes t31 combined class rawkz! Went to support the floorball people after that. Damn nice ta watch.. Then felt like we had all that class spirit with all that cheering.. Didn't win anything also.. But everyone had fun. So it was good. Especially sijia!! Wahaha with all that "toilet jalan jalan" drama.. Funneh....
Prize presentation was like.. everyone was so bored we were all doing nonsense.. Taking pictures.. Especially of those sleepy people *evil evil grinz* =P.. Then at one stage, we felt the ground vibrate but it's not the phone type of vibrate.. So we were all like.. O_o.. Looked at each other and burst out laughing.. Damn silly haha.. Then after the prize presentation, sey was like playing with melia's trophy (hm.. k they've gone quite cheapo this year so it's more like a gigantic coin kinda thing).. Haha.. She was like putting it on the palm of her hands and started clapping nonstop while getting her palmprints all over that shiny thing..
Went to eat lunch at tp with sijia, gerald, xiwei and jiacheng.. xw had to leave for training.. so the rest of us went to watch star wars 3!!! Yay!!! Damn nice!!! And found out sijia was a big big big rotiboy fan.. Heheh.. Urgh.. But then have to sit through it again on sunday.. Hate watching the same show twice.. It's not fun when I already know the story..
Argh... no time to practise chess!!! Still got a bit la.. But I'm feeling too lazy to! Oh no.. This is bad.. And of all days it had to be vesak day. Want to go kbox!!! Now have to wait till after gp exam. Bleah. And what if I get stuck in the bottom few last boards?? Then it's even more malu with all the ij people all at the top boards (you guys better get there k.. =P) What if I get 0?? Or I get 1 point because of a bye?! Freaking out!!! Why did I agree to go??? =S.. I'm damn scared of losing.
SPOILERS
It was so damn cool!!! My gosh!! Especially evil evil anakin! So wonderfully evil! Haha.. But just his evil expression only.. And the way he walked evilly with that evil glint with the whole evil army behind him!! The power and control he had. So cool. *winkz*
But what was nice is his character development. It's sometimes quite reflective of when you're being caught in between two groups of people. Sometimes, your loyalties lie on both sides but by being loyal to one side, you betray the other. It's hard because either way, no matter what you do, there will always be the guilty feeling. Of betrayal. It's just not nice to carry around. Sometimes it's just damn confusing. Choices are so tough when the stakes are so high, especially when it means ruining one friendship for the sake of another. Of course things don't turn out so drastic usually, but there is always that risk.
It just seemed like circumstances forced him to join the dark side. What yoda said about letting go what was close to him is just too much to ask. Life is all about forming attachments - commitments to your goals, dreams and passions as well as a sense of responsibility, no matter how big or small, to the people around you. Without forming attachments to things, places and people, life somehow loses its colour and zest.. Even monks, who are supposed to have no attachment to material goods and desires, still have spiritual attachments to those whom they worship as well as to their physical and mental training.. It's what keeps them going.
By doing so, yoda only made him even more determined not to let go because he was so dissatisfied with the answer. It made him desperately seek so hard for an answer, which eventually, he found laid in the dark side. But, all this is really ironic because the reason why he turned to the dark side was to ensure Padme could live through giving birth. However, that was the cause of why she died. It was because he couldn't tolerate the fact that Padme was against him going to the dark side so he killed her. Maybe, if he didn't believe in those dreams and joined forces with the sith lord, his dreams would not have come true.
Thinking about that also leads to something else. Can you imagine if we were allowed to see into the future.. And we see ourselves as a certain person with a certain personality, character and image.. Then the reason why we see ourselves like that is because we were given the chance to see our future.. And if we weren't given such an opportunity, things might have been different..?
For instance, lets say an aesthetically challenged person was given such a chance, and they see themselves as an older but still aesthetically challenged person.. Then the person may not be bothered to put in effort in improving their looks as he/she think it is hopeless.. Then in the end, he/she would be the very person they saw in the future.. This as opposed to if that person didn't see the future.. Then the person may feel like he/she should do something about their looks and exercises more, eats better dadada.. Then in the end, the person may ultimately look really good in the future.. So, the fact that they have looked into the future have caused really big changes.. Hmm...
Ya, so back to star wars.. Yoda is so funky!! So old and small-sized yet he can execute all those clean, deadly moves with such speed, strength and confidence. K, I am now a yoda supporter wahaha! Shall learn how he talks and must try to master drawing him.. But maybe after "A"s.. YODA RAWKS!! And of course EVIL ANAKIN RAWKS TOO!! Haha.. only the evil expression. Not the evil killing part.
Played volleyball later.. Cannot play volleyball!! Can't serve!! Never ever goes straight!! Out of the whole game, only hit the ball like 3 times.. Yup, but there were quite a few good players. So was a CLOSE match.. 23-25.. Considering none of us has any volleyball experience quite good already la.. Heheh.. Yes t31 combined class rawkz! Went to support the floorball people after that. Damn nice ta watch.. Then felt like we had all that class spirit with all that cheering.. Didn't win anything also.. But everyone had fun. So it was good. Especially sijia!! Wahaha with all that "toilet jalan jalan" drama.. Funneh....
Prize presentation was like.. everyone was so bored we were all doing nonsense.. Taking pictures.. Especially of those sleepy people *evil evil grinz* =P.. Then at one stage, we felt the ground vibrate but it's not the phone type of vibrate.. So we were all like.. O_o.. Looked at each other and burst out laughing.. Damn silly haha.. Then after the prize presentation, sey was like playing with melia's trophy (hm.. k they've gone quite cheapo this year so it's more like a gigantic coin kinda thing).. Haha.. She was like putting it on the palm of her hands and started clapping nonstop while getting her palmprints all over that shiny thing..
Went to eat lunch at tp with sijia, gerald, xiwei and jiacheng.. xw had to leave for training.. so the rest of us went to watch star wars 3!!! Yay!!! Damn nice!!! And found out sijia was a big big big rotiboy fan.. Heheh.. Urgh.. But then have to sit through it again on sunday.. Hate watching the same show twice.. It's not fun when I already know the story..
Argh... no time to practise chess!!! Still got a bit la.. But I'm feeling too lazy to! Oh no.. This is bad.. And of all days it had to be vesak day. Want to go kbox!!! Now have to wait till after gp exam. Bleah. And what if I get stuck in the bottom few last boards?? Then it's even more malu with all the ij people all at the top boards (you guys better get there k.. =P) What if I get 0?? Or I get 1 point because of a bye?! Freaking out!!! Why did I agree to go??? =S.. I'm damn scared of losing.
SPOILERS
It was so damn cool!!! My gosh!! Especially evil evil anakin! So wonderfully evil! Haha.. But just his evil expression only.. And the way he walked evilly with that evil glint with the whole evil army behind him!! The power and control he had. So cool. *winkz*
But what was nice is his character development. It's sometimes quite reflective of when you're being caught in between two groups of people. Sometimes, your loyalties lie on both sides but by being loyal to one side, you betray the other. It's hard because either way, no matter what you do, there will always be the guilty feeling. Of betrayal. It's just not nice to carry around. Sometimes it's just damn confusing. Choices are so tough when the stakes are so high, especially when it means ruining one friendship for the sake of another. Of course things don't turn out so drastic usually, but there is always that risk.
It just seemed like circumstances forced him to join the dark side. What yoda said about letting go what was close to him is just too much to ask. Life is all about forming attachments - commitments to your goals, dreams and passions as well as a sense of responsibility, no matter how big or small, to the people around you. Without forming attachments to things, places and people, life somehow loses its colour and zest.. Even monks, who are supposed to have no attachment to material goods and desires, still have spiritual attachments to those whom they worship as well as to their physical and mental training.. It's what keeps them going.
By doing so, yoda only made him even more determined not to let go because he was so dissatisfied with the answer. It made him desperately seek so hard for an answer, which eventually, he found laid in the dark side. But, all this is really ironic because the reason why he turned to the dark side was to ensure Padme could live through giving birth. However, that was the cause of why she died. It was because he couldn't tolerate the fact that Padme was against him going to the dark side so he killed her. Maybe, if he didn't believe in those dreams and joined forces with the sith lord, his dreams would not have come true.
Thinking about that also leads to something else. Can you imagine if we were allowed to see into the future.. And we see ourselves as a certain person with a certain personality, character and image.. Then the reason why we see ourselves like that is because we were given the chance to see our future.. And if we weren't given such an opportunity, things might have been different..?
For instance, lets say an aesthetically challenged person was given such a chance, and they see themselves as an older but still aesthetically challenged person.. Then the person may not be bothered to put in effort in improving their looks as he/she think it is hopeless.. Then in the end, he/she would be the very person they saw in the future.. This as opposed to if that person didn't see the future.. Then the person may feel like he/she should do something about their looks and exercises more, eats better dadada.. Then in the end, the person may ultimately look really good in the future.. So, the fact that they have looked into the future have caused really big changes.. Hmm...
Ya, so back to star wars.. Yoda is so funky!! So old and small-sized yet he can execute all those clean, deadly moves with such speed, strength and confidence. K, I am now a yoda supporter wahaha! Shall learn how he talks and must try to master drawing him.. But maybe after "A"s.. YODA RAWKS!! And of course EVIL ANAKIN RAWKS TOO!! Haha.. only the evil expression. Not the evil killing part.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an
out-cast because of their narrow minds or you
have adjusted yourself to them, and never
letting them see who you are deep inside. You
now think that no one will ever understand you
and you hate that fact. Though you are scared
of what the effects might be if you would
decide to let someone in so you keep a safe
distance that you both curse and bless.
What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla
Feeling kind of mixed up again. Getting so irritated with myself. Sometimes I just feel so happy out of no reason. Sometimes I force myself to talk and socialise and whatever else. It's so cyclical in a sense. Like, I'm in a good mood, then I suddenly feel so alone, then I suddenly feel so hyper. And I have to try and keep it contained behind the same, aspiring-to-be indifferent face that I have. What else can I do. I can't suddenly express being all happy then sad then dadada all in a short time. It's weird. It's incomprehensible. But what.. I can't just walk around with a black face the whole day..
I find the great irony in wanting something is that, the more you want it, the more it opposes you straight in the face. So is there no point in moving foward towards what you want? Sometimes it may work.. But it comes with a price. How much can be given up for it? Ok whatever. There's no proper link. Everything's all messed up. Yet in a nice, messy organised way.
I hate this life yet I like it. I like the stress. I hate the pressure build-up. I like the fact that there is never any time for me to get bored. I hate it that I still don't do what I should do and end up being bored. Things are so fixed. Yet things are so fluid. Things look bleak. But in bleak times, there are greater opportunities for the light to shine through. My life is in my hands. Yet I control it so little. I'm pushed along with the current but I'm not going with the flow. I stick out like a sore thumb yet I play a part with four more fingers. I know how it works but I don't know how to work it.
Feel so affected over the slightest little things. Just one thing I said and felt so guilty I've been mentally beating myself up after that. I don't know what's gotten into me. Now I realise why I'm feeling so fake and pretentious in school sometimes. It's because I'm just not acting who I want to be. I don't dare to. Just behaving what others are expecting me to. It's so much easier.. I have this issue making noise and over worrying about what people think. So I just keep so painfully quiet but I hate it. Once I open my mouth, I'll be just pulling down the barriers to be judged even more. When I talk, it'll just appear fake. Cuz it'll just look like I'm talking for the sole purpose of gaining another person's liking or whatever and not because I genuinely mean it. But the thing is, I'm not. That's who I naturally am. I'm not the horribly silent type. It depends.. Then if that's the case, then acting myself makes me seem fake and pretentious?
Sunday, May 15, 2005
It's family day today!! Hmm though I only can celebrate with half of them each time... It's never everyone...... Haha was quite silly.. During assembly on friday, there were these two guys advertising for it.. So out came "Darth Vadar" (or izzit darth vader?) who made that funny athsma-sounding breathing.. And everytime he made that sound, the garbage bag thingy (the thing he used over his mouth as part of his DV mask) kept on flipping up and down.. Then out came "luke skywalker" who swished out his lightsaber at DV (think it's those "light swords" you get from national day) and both started fighting. Then halfway during the fight, luke skywalker was like saying.. Dad, how come you never ever come home for dinner?? Everyone watching was like.. HUH?? Then they turned to us and said.. IT'S EAT OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY DAY! GO OUT WITH YOUR FAMILY TO EAT!! Haha super funny!!
Later that night went with sijia, xiwei and ruyin to watch scarlet silhouette by the cj drama. Haha and maxine was the maid.. Acted super hilarious!! Actually the whole thing was real funny with the fussy taitai and the blur policeman and all.. My gosh.. everyone was dressed sooooooo nice and we were like in uniform.. But good thing la.. Cuz if dress in outside clothes then will look so.. ya.. compared to the rest..
Was just reading my xanga blog.. the one I was using the first part of last year.. And I realised that I have almost totally no life now!! It's like.. Most of the entries then were about how much I've been enjoying life outside and having fun and making all those lame comments.. Then now.. What do I talk about? School school and more school. I guess there are still stuff happening in school.. But it's like.. A big huge chunk is still missing... Holidays are just as bad.. Tried making one holiday timetable.. And everyday, even if I study 1 chapt for 2 subjects, I still can't finish studying all the topics for midyrs.. Not that I can finish cramming so much in one day too..
Out of time.. Need ta go out... Shall finish this up another time..
Later that night went with sijia, xiwei and ruyin to watch scarlet silhouette by the cj drama. Haha and maxine was the maid.. Acted super hilarious!! Actually the whole thing was real funny with the fussy taitai and the blur policeman and all.. My gosh.. everyone was dressed sooooooo nice and we were like in uniform.. But good thing la.. Cuz if dress in outside clothes then will look so.. ya.. compared to the rest..
Was just reading my xanga blog.. the one I was using the first part of last year.. And I realised that I have almost totally no life now!! It's like.. Most of the entries then were about how much I've been enjoying life outside and having fun and making all those lame comments.. Then now.. What do I talk about? School school and more school. I guess there are still stuff happening in school.. But it's like.. A big huge chunk is still missing... Holidays are just as bad.. Tried making one holiday timetable.. And everyday, even if I study 1 chapt for 2 subjects, I still can't finish studying all the topics for midyrs.. Not that I can finish cramming so much in one day too..
Out of time.. Need ta go out... Shall finish this up another time..
Sunday, May 01, 2005
K... I am outdated as usual.. Spent the whole of today slacking though I was supposed to mug.. Dunno what's up with all the teachers.. Saying it's a long weekend and giving so much hw when it's only one extra day.. Seriously would appreciate it if they would cut down and give us one day to sleep in without worrying about getting anything done and recuperate.. Stupid voice.. Still getting worse and I had to resort to whispering.. I WANT MY VOICE BACK!! Heh.. and my mean mcp uncle was joking that all females should lose their voices so that there would be more peace in the world.. O_o..... Niwaez.. Juz wanna say something.. Cedele cakes are healthy and goooood!! Shall go there and eat more often!!
Stuff that happened in the past month..
Had napfa.. And finally.. after 9 years.. I got wanted with so much satisfying results heehee.. My first gold!! Just afraid I wouldn't be able to get results like these again.. Ya but I guess still can go running or something in the hols..
Bball season started.. and ended.. Played with jj, sa and mj.. The game with jj wasnt too good.. Cuz they had this ntional player.. national player ever since sec2.. Then she played about 3/4 of the game.. So we were all dying la.. Cuz of her.. Then when she was not playing, we were actually beginning to pick up the points again.. But when she came back again, we started dying again.. And her 3-pointers were so super accurate.. So.. Oh wellz.. sa was even worse.. But mj was a real close match.. Didn't go that day.. Sick.. But heard it was damn exciting.. And it was drawish till the end of the game.. Where it ended with 2 free throws for mj before the final whistle.. Whatever it was, everyone still put in a great effort. That's what matters. Yup and with that, bball is over. Was great picking up the game and learning all the strategies and tips..
Jo's bdae!! Supposed to go out and celebrate in sentosa last last sat.. But of all days I just had to get sick on that day.. So after much complications, the whole thing kinda got cancelled.. So sad.. Then had all those evil plans for her to do.. *evil cackle*
Luckily last fri we had chess friendly with aj.. So could pass her the stuff over dinner.. Then so malu got lost looking for the f block although we got some stupid punishment to run from the f block to our class and back to the f block again.. Only one person is capable of meting out such a ridiculous punishment.. Go figure.. But yay! Was damn fun!! Played transfer again!! Teamed up with jo and jia le!! Then played so many games while poor ben was stuck playing the proper game with the physics teacher (mr wee?) haha..
Then after that went to bishan with jo, terence, ben, jia le and er.. one more aj girl.. forgot her name *sheepish grinz*.. Heheh.. then terry was complaining that we pangsei him cuz everyone took e 156 bus.. Though he was supposed to come along cuz at first everyone was supposed to go there to eat.. But when he found out he was the only one who agreed to go then he didn't go.. Then we all last minute on the bus decided to take neoprint.. So in the end he was the only one who wasn't inside..
At last got to eat with jo!! After soooo long.. Must have had a blue moon that night.. And made some person jealous wahaha!! Too bad la.. Don't answer your calls.. Some more 3 days in a row.. K shan't be mean.. Heheh next time la..
Went to support the cldds people on sat.. They all had this chinese drama thing.. And at teochew building of all places!! I stopped at dhoby ghaut then totally didn't know how to get there.. Haha then asked for directions and this security guard gave me one humongous map of singapore.. Found out it was next to sacred heart.. Got lots of memories there.. Cuz it was where I took my cathechism class last time.. Haha.. ya I think I was in the same class as eugenia lee-tan's son.. K that's beside the point.. Wonder how's auntie helen and auntie elizabeth.. But I don't think they have lessons there already so can't go back to visit them.. Wanted to also last time but I didn't really want to go back cuz I didn't really like the people there..
Was like an hour late.. Luckily cj haven't performed yet.. Saw sijia!! So chio la with all the make-up and french plaits!! But totally didn't understand what they were acting.. Only understood "sheng" and "si".. Some life and death thing.. Then the main actress like "gave birth" and "died" I think and started crying when she was talking about life.. And I was like.. HUH?! What's going on?! Chiminology.. And was also quite surprised to see the only two other cj people there.. jy and domi!! Haha.. Heard that domi was helping with the make-up.. Hmm next time prom can bring sijia to her again mwahaha!!
They all went to taka to eat later.. Wah best man got treated to crystal jade.. So nice then even ask me along!! No la but I feel weird getting a free meal like that.. Went to shop for mother's day prezzies instead.. Got my mum a pig mogu cuz she's born in the year of a pig and my grandma a cow mogu cuz she's a taurus.. They're damn cute la!!
Realise how short time is now. So many things to do.. So I have decided.. Shall come online only monthly to update.. Or if I can't resist then fortnightly.. Have to start mugging now.. Especially for the mid-yrs.. For one thing if I don't get those As, I'm going to owe a lot of people lunch and coffee treats.. Heheh...
I think that to make life worth living, we musn't miss out what life has to offer.. So.. shall post stuff that I appreciate..
Cat's eye
The Cat's Eye Nebula, estimated to be 1,000 years old, provides a visual "fossil record" of a dying star - or perhaps a double star system. Such planetary nebulae are created when a star depletes its nuclear fuel and begins puffing away layers of material. The result is often stunningly beautiful.
"You can't make footprints in the sands of Time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of Time?"
-Bob Moawad
Stuff that happened in the past month..
Had napfa.. And finally.. after 9 years.. I got wanted with so much satisfying results heehee.. My first gold!! Just afraid I wouldn't be able to get results like these again.. Ya but I guess still can go running or something in the hols..
Bball season started.. and ended.. Played with jj, sa and mj.. The game with jj wasnt too good.. Cuz they had this ntional player.. national player ever since sec2.. Then she played about 3/4 of the game.. So we were all dying la.. Cuz of her.. Then when she was not playing, we were actually beginning to pick up the points again.. But when she came back again, we started dying again.. And her 3-pointers were so super accurate.. So.. Oh wellz.. sa was even worse.. But mj was a real close match.. Didn't go that day.. Sick.. But heard it was damn exciting.. And it was drawish till the end of the game.. Where it ended with 2 free throws for mj before the final whistle.. Whatever it was, everyone still put in a great effort. That's what matters. Yup and with that, bball is over. Was great picking up the game and learning all the strategies and tips..
Jo's bdae!! Supposed to go out and celebrate in sentosa last last sat.. But of all days I just had to get sick on that day.. So after much complications, the whole thing kinda got cancelled.. So sad.. Then had all those evil plans for her to do.. *evil cackle*
Luckily last fri we had chess friendly with aj.. So could pass her the stuff over dinner.. Then so malu got lost looking for the f block although we got some stupid punishment to run from the f block to our class and back to the f block again.. Only one person is capable of meting out such a ridiculous punishment.. Go figure.. But yay! Was damn fun!! Played transfer again!! Teamed up with jo and jia le!! Then played so many games while poor ben was stuck playing the proper game with the physics teacher (mr wee?) haha..
Then after that went to bishan with jo, terence, ben, jia le and er.. one more aj girl.. forgot her name *sheepish grinz*.. Heheh.. then terry was complaining that we pangsei him cuz everyone took e 156 bus.. Though he was supposed to come along cuz at first everyone was supposed to go there to eat.. But when he found out he was the only one who agreed to go then he didn't go.. Then we all last minute on the bus decided to take neoprint.. So in the end he was the only one who wasn't inside..
At last got to eat with jo!! After soooo long.. Must have had a blue moon that night.. And made some person jealous wahaha!! Too bad la.. Don't answer your calls.. Some more 3 days in a row.. K shan't be mean.. Heheh next time la..
Went to support the cldds people on sat.. They all had this chinese drama thing.. And at teochew building of all places!! I stopped at dhoby ghaut then totally didn't know how to get there.. Haha then asked for directions and this security guard gave me one humongous map of singapore.. Found out it was next to sacred heart.. Got lots of memories there.. Cuz it was where I took my cathechism class last time.. Haha.. ya I think I was in the same class as eugenia lee-tan's son.. K that's beside the point.. Wonder how's auntie helen and auntie elizabeth.. But I don't think they have lessons there already so can't go back to visit them.. Wanted to also last time but I didn't really want to go back cuz I didn't really like the people there..
Was like an hour late.. Luckily cj haven't performed yet.. Saw sijia!! So chio la with all the make-up and french plaits!! But totally didn't understand what they were acting.. Only understood "sheng" and "si".. Some life and death thing.. Then the main actress like "gave birth" and "died" I think and started crying when she was talking about life.. And I was like.. HUH?! What's going on?! Chiminology.. And was also quite surprised to see the only two other cj people there.. jy and domi!! Haha.. Heard that domi was helping with the make-up.. Hmm next time prom can bring sijia to her again mwahaha!!
They all went to taka to eat later.. Wah best man got treated to crystal jade.. So nice then even ask me along!! No la but I feel weird getting a free meal like that.. Went to shop for mother's day prezzies instead.. Got my mum a pig mogu cuz she's born in the year of a pig and my grandma a cow mogu cuz she's a taurus.. They're damn cute la!!
Realise how short time is now. So many things to do.. So I have decided.. Shall come online only monthly to update.. Or if I can't resist then fortnightly.. Have to start mugging now.. Especially for the mid-yrs.. For one thing if I don't get those As, I'm going to owe a lot of people lunch and coffee treats.. Heheh...
I think that to make life worth living, we musn't miss out what life has to offer.. So.. shall post stuff that I appreciate..
Cat's eye
The Cat's Eye Nebula, estimated to be 1,000 years old, provides a visual "fossil record" of a dying star - or perhaps a double star system. Such planetary nebulae are created when a star depletes its nuclear fuel and begins puffing away layers of material. The result is often stunningly beautiful.
"You can't make footprints in the sands of Time by sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of Time?"
-Bob Moawad