always.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

So glad we moved to this hotel with internet access!! yay =). Anyway there's like 15mins.. So anyway, my sis told me this thing.. "The Truth will set us free... But whenever I tell the Truth, I get sent to my room." Then after that, my auntie was like giving both of us this stare and said," Excuse me?! What sent to your room?! This is a bible phrase you know!!".. Meow..

Yay coming back soon =)!! I wanna go back nowww...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Will be on holiday until 30th.. but I'll be back from 23rd evening to 25th morning.. Yes.. So as for uploading of those pics.. Sorrieee it takes damn long!! So I'll be like uploading them sometime next year..? Hurhur..

Sunday, December 04, 2005

it really wasn't on purpose..

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Feeling confused over something. Don't know why I think so. No, actually I know why. But I shouldn't think this way. But, what feels right and what is right is different. Right..? So what is right? If it is right and doesn't feel right then is it wrong? But also, it doesn't necessarily mean that there is an absolute right or wrong. Which make things so unpredictable. But things were always unpredictable in the first place. But I can't just do nothing. Just that, there is nothing else better to do than to do nothing huh.. Bleah. Need some time to sort things out.. *reflect reflect*

MY GOSH EVERYONE IS ALREADY WORKING OR FINDING WORK. FEELING SO PRESSURISED TO DO THE SAME TOO!! ARGH. BUT I NEED TO PACK MY ROOM FIRST BEFORE I CAN FEEL ORGANISED ENOUGH TO START ON ANYTHING ELSE..

These few days are damn fun.. going out, slacking and going out again!! Yesterday went orchard for jiacheng's farewell with the rest. Yup.. was quite funny.. cuz we were all telling him again and again to take care, and must.. erm.. hurhur.. just all the advice and all that caring stuff. Then he was like.. Aiya it's not like the last time you all are going to see me again la!! Then all of us walked from orchard slowly to ps while looking at all the nice christmas lights. Check it out!

Nice right.. Haha.. Yup, just all the girls in the pic while the guys were helping us take photo.

Orchard is really very nice at night now. With all the chrismassy atmosphere and lights. Yup, oh and it was quite cool that the wrapping.. whatever you call that thing.. the plasticky thing wrapping the mineral bottle with the brand on it.. Ya, it was interesting that it could stick on your palm (which is faced downwards and the wrapping is at the bottom of the palm) after you rub it on some type of hair.. Haha, even the one on the arm also can.. Then we were all sitting at the centrepoint macs and all like quite amused watching gerald and jiacheng play with that thing. Damn funny. Yup, then walked around robinsons for a while and checked out all the cheaper clothes that we could have actually bought for prom before going back..

Then went back again to orchard again this afternoon with jo. Heheh.. but I won't get sick of orchard for now.. With so many things to see and do.. Oh and the new foodcourt at the top floor of wisma is open! Hmm.. is that old news? Don't care la it was just damn nice. It was like the good old days (1940s? Er.. Ya whoever is like good in history and have seen the place please tell me which time period they're trying to recreate..) with all the woody woody benches and tables, and loads of interesting people selling all sorts of food. There was an ice-cream man moving around selling his stuff, as well as another indian guy with the turban and everything (the full suit) selling all the yummy indian goodies. So I went to try out this chinese snack.. Dunno what it is but always see it in chinese shows, where all the small kids love to eat.

Found out it tastes like sour plums. Though the guy was telling me it was "hu lu". Not that I knew what that was.. Isn't "hu lu" radish? Or gourd? But it's probably some fruit. So many seeds! And so SOUR!! I CANNOT TAHAN SOUR STUFF!! =SSS

After that, we went to far east to walk around. And omg, jo is actually into alcohol!! Wahaha!! Surprise surprise.. Izzit my influence? No la cannot be right.. heehee. But she was thirsty, and wanted a place to sit. So guess what, she bought alcohol from 7-eleven to drink!! Yay!! *biggrin* Cuz we could share =). I just love ICs that are over 18. It's like a sense of power.. like there's nothing to stop you from buying what you want to buy. With the exception of R21 movie tickets and related stuff. But that one also doesn't really matter. Haha still remember the days she got tipsy after eating rum and raisin ice-cream. Sec2 I think.. Wah still buy alcohol to drink! You rawk. Tastes good.. Haha.. Had fun today :)

Drowning my sorrows. No la.. But ya it does lift your spirits up a little. But not strong enough to get you high though.. Tastes more like bitter cherry-ade.. Should buy choya next time. Haha.. It's stronger, but it's not the typical tasting alcohol.

All finished! But I didn't do it all by myself. Heheh.. had some help from jo. Okk.. Lots of help. It's seriously is not strong.. Ya.. so we were still totally sober. Just for the taste =).

Haha her face is a bit red. But not as red as her ears!! Sigh.. but I am forbidden to put that up.. Yay let's buy more next time heehee.. (And I shall put loads of pics up!! Especially everyone's super red ears!!) But by that time, it'll be my turn to show my ic. Oh ya, just thinking.. if you feel that your face is hot and it turns out to be all red after drinking, then would it be the same story if you felt your stomach was hot too? I mean.. a lot of people get that warm feeling in their stomach after drinking, don't they..?

Haiz the pics look a bit weird after all that resizing. Is there a way to put pics straight from the camera without having to make them all smaller manually??

but still.

Oh are we considered j3s now??

I just realised something.. No matter how hard I try, I can never write letters that express everything I want to say...

Friday, December 02, 2005

It's slowly sinking in now.. That we are no longer part of cj anymore. No more torturous pe lessons, no more slacking around in class during break, no more suicide runs during bball, no more getting thrashed (especially by some cruel person) during chess, no more checking out who cut what hair during lectures, no more messaging under the table during lessons, no more photocopying prelim papers, no more uniforms and finding stuff (earrings/hairbands/watches/shoes) to match it, no more gossip sessions.

It has been fun while it lasted though. And it was interesting to meet all sorts of people. It was a slight culture shock initially. First it just felt so weird that there were guys.. And there were people who actually talked to each other in chinese.. And separated from my ij bunch.. Only got auddie left but her class was like so far away in j1. After being familiar with everyone for 10 years, cj felt like such a foreign and unwelcoming place in a sense. Everything was so different and it was like we had to start anew again. Then for people like me, who find it hard to mingle and chat with people I don't know.. My gosh it was just so.. bleah..

People talked about thing that were so different from what I was used to back in secondary school.. Their interests were also different. And there were so many spontaneous and outgoing people that it somehow scared me. Then everyone wore shirts with the first button unbuttoned (aiya last time I didn't know it was supposed to be like that k..) and all the girls came in short (shorter than what I was used to) skirts, coloured bands and funky shoes and bags.. And I was like.. Big fat schoolbag and normal shoes and dark blue band.. Super normal.. So normal when everybody was so unique that I felt so out. And it because of this, I slowly grew to be more self-conscious. And changed my perspective of what can or can't be done about an image.. It's something fake sometimes, but necessary. And also, at other times, maybe it is your image that shapes your personality. Cuz, most people behave the way they think others think of them. And, the way others think of them, especially first impression, is dependent on image.

Another thing was also the friends you have. It felt very different also, in the sense that it feels so fluid. Of course there are still people that will be there for ya and can depend on. But there are so many other people that you just feel so uncertain about. Whether they truly want to be your friend, or just pretend to be out of courtesy or other things. And at times like these, people's true colours do show and you start seeing how people can be so different from what you made them out to be. And from there I also start to learn about myself, and realise that I am actually capable of doing the same, though I try not to. And that sucks. During these two years, there also have been quick friendships, those that are good but short-lived. There have been people who also move around from different groups of people. Dunno whether that's good or bad. Cuz it shows that people generally like them.. Kinda.. But, when they have a problem, or they're feeling down, then who do they turn to? People will feel it if you just turn to them when you're feeling down, then join another group when you want to have some fun. Cuz that would make that person seem like.. a fair-weathered friend or something like that. Who's true and who's not..? But I know for one thing that I also have made great friends here. =)

~Some things are meant to be forgotten, and others are to be remembered and cherished

Your Subconscious Self
What's Really on Your Mind?

your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your family life

On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your family relations. But it's also possible that family issues have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why.

You may feel slightly bothered by situations or relationships in your family, or you may find that your family just isn't fulfilling you in critical ways you desire. You also might find you spend a lot of time worrying, or thinking about your family members and their situations. You might feel that family issues take up a lot of your energy. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together.

Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Thoughts – Trapped in a box

I remember once someone told me watermelons were sold in squares.
“Squares?” I asked, “Aren’t watermelons round?”
“They were squares then.” She told me with a smile on her face.
She looked at my face all contorted with disbelief and laughed.

Then, she started to tell me, “They were moulded; shaped to suit our needs.”
“It was due to that that they could be packed and shipped across countries.”
“More conveniently, that is.” She paused for a while before continuing.
“They became like that due to Man’s manipulation.”

“How?” I asked, “How is this possible?”
She looked down at the crate she was sitting on and said,
“They were put into square boxes, just like this one.” She tapped the crate.
“They were left to grow there, compressed till it took form into a square,”

It was then I began to ponder, to think things over.
Perhaps I had let my thoughts grow wild.
Even this story had a moral; an insight to life.
An insight about the people around us…

There are many types of people.
Some are like the box, manipulative and in total control.
Others are like the watermelon, trying to grow in a limited space;
Hardly given the freedom to develop into who they really are.

Sometimes I feel like the watermelon, being confined by a box.
A box that seems to be becoming smaller as I grow.
A box that feeds on confidence and self-assuredness.
A box that gives rise to an atmosphere of fear and guilt.

This box is a cage engineered not only trap something inside,
But also to prevent its growth.
It enshrouds the watermelon in a world of darkness,
Hiding tufts of truth and reality in its nooks and crannies.

I look out at a tiny hole that I have made in this box,
And see a beautiful, rising sun at the horizon.
I know that if I break free from this box, there is hope.
My dream of being free will be fulfilled.

If only I can find some type of key…
Now, I am still continuing my search,
And I know, one day, I will be out there,
Out of the box’s grasp – I will be free.


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Hit counter code here	Thursday, December 22, 2005 So glad we moved to this hotel with internet access!! yay =). Anyway there's like 15mins.. So anyway, my sis told me this thing.. "The Truth will set us free... But whenever I tell the Truth, I get sent to my room." Then after that, my auntie was like giving both of us this stare and said," Excuse me?! What sent to your room?! This is a bible phrase you know!!".. Meow.. Yay coming back soon =)!! I wanna go back nowww... 12:54 pm · Wednesday, December 14, 2005 Will be on holiday until 30th.. but I'll be back from 23rd evening to 25th morning.. Yes.. So as for uploading of those pics.. Sorrieee it takes damn long!! So I'll be like uploading them sometime next year..? Hurhur.. 1:56 pm · Sunday, December 04, 2005 it really wasn't on purpose.. 5:23 pm · Saturday, December 03, 2005 Feeling confused over something. Don't know why I think so. No, actually I know why. But I shouldn't think this way. But, what feels right and what is right is different. Right..? So what is right? If it is right and doesn't feel right then is it wrong? But also, it doesn't necessarily mean that there is an absolute right or wrong. Which make things so unpredictable. But things were always unpredictable in the first place. But I can't just do nothing. Just that, there is nothing else better to do than to do nothing huh.. Bleah. Need some time to sort things out.. reflect reflect MY GOSH EVERYONE IS ALREADY WORKING OR FINDING WORK. FEELING SO PRESSURISED TO DO THE SAME TOO!! ARGH. BUT I NEED TO PACK MY ROOM FIRST BEFORE I CAN FEEL ORGANISED ENOUGH TO START ON ANYTHING ELSE.. These few days are damn fun.. going out, slacking and going out again!! Yesterday went orchard for jiacheng's farewell with the rest. Yup.. was quite funny.. cuz we were all telling him again and again to take care, and must.. erm.. hurhur.. just all the advice and all that caring stuff. Then he was like.. Aiya it's not like the last time you all are going to see me again la!! Then all of us walked from orchard slowly to ps while looking at all the nice christmas lights. Check it out! Nice right.. Haha.. Yup, just all the girls in the pic while the guys were helping us take photo. Orchard is really very nice at night now. With all the chrismassy atmosphere and lights. Yup, oh and it was quite cool that the wrapping.. whatever you call that thing.. the plasticky thing wrapping the mineral bottle with the brand on it.. Ya, it was interesting that it could stick on your palm (which is faced downwards and the wrapping is at the bottom of the palm) after you rub it on some type of hair.. Haha, even the one on the arm also can.. Then we were all sitting at the centrepoint macs and all like quite amused watching gerald and jiacheng play with that thing. Damn funny. Yup, then walked around robinsons for a while and checked out all the cheaper clothes that we could have actually bought for prom before going back.. Then went back again to orchard again this afternoon with jo. Heheh.. but I won't get sick of orchard for now.. With so many things to see and do.. Oh and the new foodcourt at the top floor of wisma is open! Hmm.. is that old news? Don't care la it was just damn nice. It was like the good old days (1940s? Er.. Ya whoever is like good in history and have seen the place please tell me which time period they're trying to recreate..) with all the woody woody benches and tables, and loads of interesting people selling all sorts of food. There was an ice-cream man moving around selling his stuff, as well as another indian guy with the turban and everything (the full suit) selling all the yummy indian goodies. So I went to try out this chinese snack.. Dunno what it is but always see it in chinese shows, where all the small kids love to eat. Found out it tastes like sour plums. Though the guy was telling me it was "hu lu". Not that I knew what that was.. Isn't "hu lu" radish? Or gourd? But it's probably some fruit. So many seeds! And so SOUR!! I CANNOT TAHAN SOUR STUFF!! =SSS After that, we went to far east to walk around. And omg, jo is actually into alcohol!! Wahaha!! Surprise surprise.. Izzit my influence? No la cannot be right.. heehee. But she was thirsty, and wanted a place to sit. So guess what, she bought alcohol from 7-eleven to drink!! Yay!! biggrin Cuz we could share =). I just love ICs that are over 18. It's like a sense of power.. like there's nothing to stop you from buying what you want to buy. With the exception of R21 movie tickets and related stuff. But that one also doesn't really matter. Haha still remember the days she got tipsy after eating rum and raisin ice-cream. Sec2 I think.. Wah still buy alcohol to drink! You rawk. Tastes good.. Haha.. Had fun today :) Drowning my sorrows. No la.. But ya it does lift your spirits up a little. But not strong enough to get you high though.. Tastes more like bitter cherry-ade.. Should buy choya next time. Haha.. It's stronger, but it's not the typical tasting alcohol. All finished! But I didn't do it all by myself. Heheh.. had some help from jo. Okk.. Lots of help. It's seriously is not strong.. Ya.. so we were still totally sober. Just for the taste =). Haha her face is a bit red. But not as red as her ears!! Sigh.. but I am forbidden to put that up.. Yay let's buy more next time heehee.. (And I shall put loads of pics up!! Especially everyone's super red ears!!) But by that time, it'll be my turn to show my ic. Oh ya, just thinking.. if you feel that your face is hot and it turns out to be all red after drinking, then would it be the same story if you felt your stomach was hot too? I mean.. a lot of people get that warm feeling in their stomach after drinking, don't they..? Haiz the pics look a bit weird after all that resizing. Is there a way to put pics straight from the camera without having to make them all smaller manually?? but still. 5:28 pm · Oh are we considered j3s now?? I just realised something.. No matter how hard I try, I can never write letters that express everything I want to say... 4:57 am · Friday, December 02, 2005 It's slowly sinking in now.. That we are no longer part of cj anymore. No more torturous pe lessons, no more slacking around in class during break, no more suicide runs during bball, no more getting thrashed (especially by some cruel person) during chess, no more checking out who cut what hair during lectures, no more messaging under the table during lessons, no more photocopying prelim papers, no more uniforms and finding stuff (earrings/hairbands/watches/shoes) to match it, no more gossip sessions. It has been fun while it lasted though. And it was interesting to meet all sorts of people. It was a slight culture shock initially. First it just felt so weird that there were guys.. And there were people who actually talked to each other in chinese.. And separated from my ij bunch.. Only got auddie left but her class was like so far away in j1. After being familiar with everyone for 10 years, cj felt like such a foreign and unwelcoming place in a sense. Everything was so different and it was like we had to start anew again. Then for people like me, who find it hard to mingle and chat with people I don't know.. My gosh it was just so.. bleah.. People talked about thing that were so different from what I was used to back in secondary school.. Their interests were also different. And there were so many spontaneous and outgoing people that it somehow scared me. Then everyone wore shirts with the first button unbuttoned (aiya last time I didn't know it was supposed to be like that k..) and all the girls came in short (shorter than what I was used to) skirts, coloured bands and funky shoes and bags.. And I was like.. Big fat schoolbag and normal shoes and dark blue band.. Super normal.. So normal when everybody was so unique that I felt so out. And it because of this, I slowly grew to be more self-conscious. And changed my perspective of what can or can't be done about an image.. It's something fake sometimes, but necessary. And also, at other times, maybe it is your image that shapes your personality. Cuz, most people behave the way they think others think of them. And, the way others think of them, especially first impression, is dependent on image. Another thing was also the friends you have. It felt very different also, in the sense that it feels so fluid. Of course there are still people that will be there for ya and can depend on. But there are so many other people that you just feel so uncertain about. Whether they truly want to be your friend, or just pretend to be out of courtesy or other things. And at times like these, people's true colours do show and you start seeing how people can be so different from what you made them out to be. And from there I also start to learn about myself, and realise that I am actually capable of doing the same, though I try not to. And that sucks. During these two years, there also have been quick friendships, those that are good but short-lived. There have been people who also move around from different groups of people. Dunno whether that's good or bad. Cuz it shows that people generally like them.. Kinda.. But, when they have a problem, or they're feeling down, then who do they turn to? People will feel it if you just turn to them when you're feeling down, then join another group when you want to have some fun. Cuz that would make that person seem like.. a fair-weathered friend or something like that. Who's true and who's not..? But I know for one thing that I also have made great friends here. =) ~Some things are meant to be forgotten, and others are to be remembered and cherished 5:30 am · Your Subconscious Self What's Really on Your Mind? your subconscious mind is most preoccupied with issues around your family life On a conscious level, you might already be aware that something is troubling you, or eating up a lot of time when it comes to your family relations. But it's also possible that family issues have been preoccupying your subconscious mind — leaving you with nothing more than a general sense that things just don't feel 100% right in your life though you can't quite figure out why. You may feel slightly bothered by situations or relationships in your family, or you may find that your family just isn't fulfilling you in critical ways you desire. You also might find you spend a lot of time worrying, or thinking about your family members and their situations. You might feel that family issues take up a lot of your energy. Or maybe you're so frustrated with your situation that you avoid the topic all together. Whichever feelings hold true, your test results indicate that right now, your subconscious mind is working overtime to resolve the issues confronting you in this area of your life — even if you don't feel aware of it. 4:56 am · Thursday, December 01, 2005 Thoughts – Trapped in a box I remember once someone told me watermelons were sold in squares. “Squares?” I asked, “Aren’t watermelons round?” “They were squares then.” She told me with a smile on her face. She looked at my face all contorted with disbelief and laughed. Then, she started to tell me, “They were moulded; shaped to suit our needs.” “It was due to that that they could be packed and shipped across countries.” “More conveniently, that is.” She paused for a while before continuing. “They became like that due to Man’s manipulation.” “How?” I asked, “How is this possible?” She looked down at the crate she was sitting on and said, “They were put into square boxes, just like this one.” She tapped the crate. “They were left to grow there, compressed till it took form into a square,” It was then I began to ponder, to think things over. Perhaps I had let my thoughts grow wild. Even this story had a moral; an insight to life. An insight about the people around us… There are many types of people. Some are like the box, manipulative and in total control. Others are like the watermelon, trying to grow in a limited space; Hardly given the freedom to develop into who they really are. Sometimes I feel like the watermelon, being confined by a box. A box that seems to be becoming smaller as I grow. A box that feeds on confidence and self-assuredness. A box that gives rise to an atmosphere of fear and guilt. This box is a cage engineered not only trap something inside, But also to prevent its growth. It enshrouds the watermelon in a world of darkness, Hiding tufts of truth and reality in its nooks and crannies. I look out at a tiny hole that I have made in this box, And see a beautiful, rising sun at the horizon. I know that if I break free from this box, there is hope. My dream of being free will be fulfilled. If only I can find some type of key… Now, I am still continuing my search, And I know, one day, I will be out there, Out of the box’s grasp – I will be free. 8:37 am ·