Simply Victoria

My Bible study group is doing Priscilla Shirer's Jonah right now. What an awesome study! I am really enjoying the introspectiveness and the challenging "re-thinking" that it is making me do.

The start of Priscilla's study goes like this:
           I am Jonah.
       I want to serve God...as long as it is convenient.
    I desire to do His will...until it is a tad uncomfortable.
I want to hear His Word...as long as its message is one I'm suppose to pass on to
someone else...

Umm...yeah. That is me too. And this is some tough stuff to deal with when I want to have some control.

This past week we had a day to focus on the fact that we have nowhere to hide. Psalm 139:7 says, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?" The obvious answer is nowhere. He is ever present. Or more properly put: omnipresent.

Priscilla shared a small portion of a devotional from Sarah Young's God Calling which
says, "I am all around you, hovering over you even as you seek My Face. I am nearer than you dare believe, closer than the air you breathe."

When I first read this I thought how amazing it was to think about His very nearness hovering over me! All the time. Wherever I go! It's pretty indescribable how comforting and loved that makes me feel. He is nearer than I dare to believe. Closer than the air I breathe. Air is right around me all the time. It is just one breath away. His presence is less than one breath away. It is closer than the air I breathe.

The air I breathe is right up to my nostrils - there for my very life and sheer existence. When I thought about God being that close, for a minute it gave me pause. Being closer than the air I breathe would mean that He would right up against my nose - no space in between. I would not be able to breathe at all. I felt suffocated. It made me want to step back and literally take a deep breath. I felt a bit panicky thinking about His presence being right there, so close. Close enough to cut off my breath.

"Just give me an inch, Lord. To be able to breathe. You would still be super close."

 As I kept pondering this, God continued to show me more. If He truly was closer than the air I breathe, I would not be able to breathe. I would have no life from lack of air. I would no longer be breathing anything other than Him. He would be my air. I would not be living for me but living for Him and by Him. The beauty about this is that He showed me that is exactly how He wants me to be. Dead to myself and alive because He would be my supply, my breath of life. No longer would I live for myself but He would live in me.

But only as long as I did not step away, not even 1 little head movement of an inch.

 I want the Spirit of the Lord hovering over me and nearer than the air I breathe. Not fretting that I don't still get to breathe on "my own" and worrying that I will be suffocated. But rather resting in His nearness so very, very close.

"Don't give me an inch, Lord. Not even one. Be closer than the air I breathe."

"I didn't think it was actually possible to have such strong feelings for a place...an ache in one's heart to be filled with the sights, smells, sounds, and tastes of a place that is the very definition of home." JL






How can such a place feel like home when it never even has been home? Feeling homesick today... and missing Texas.