Candle fuse.

Can’t get enough of this.

Not exactly the best time to start writing down all these thoughts, but I figured that if I never try, I probably never would, at least for this year. Year 2010 breezed past faster than any of the recent years probably because of the fact that it was action packed.

Where do I start? I shall do this periodically then. My birthday was really pleasant and in a sense probably one of the more memorable ones. Nothing beats having your best friend organize all these heartwarming and touching scenarios which nearly made me tear. It was always nice being around friends who enjoy and value your company, so inviting everyone over to celebrate that special occasion to me was something that I really loved and treasured.

Year 2010 also marked the end of the peak of my student activities, since my involvement in such activities would most likely plummet to a high level of inactivity. Student activities such as the Freshman Orientation Camp, Programme as well as the DBA camp made me value school life a lot more than what I initially perceived it to be. I was probably one of the minorities that perceived tertiary education in polytechnic as nothing more than a passing phase in my life to get to that much larger in scale penultimate goal of my life before admission to a polytechnic. However, in reality it was much more than that. Education in polytechnic made me realize how school life should be – beyond books and academics and extending to school activities that allowed myself to develop and grow both sentimentally as well as psychologically.

In contrast, in terms of academics, it sparked the dawn of a true challenge and pressure to excel above my peers as well as taking up opportunities to further refine knowledge that were starting to be tough to comprehend. Fortunately, at the end of semester 2, my CGPA is still 4.0 and I am very thankful for that, given the fact that I had lost discipline and lapses of concentration during certain phases of this ongoing arduous journey.

With that, year 2010 was alright, and I hope year 2011 will be awesome.

According to Wikipedia, a “New Year’s resolution” is defined as follow:

“A New Year resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a personal goal, project, or the reforming of a habit. This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as advantageous. A New Years Resolution is generally a goal someone sets out to accomplish in the coming year.”

And so that led me thinking, commitments, what’s new? Everyone dedicate their lives to different goals and commitments; few follow through with consistency and discipline. Hate to say this (given how a big narcissist I am), but I am guilty of such exigency or urgency. Therefore, my New Year resolutions would probably consist mostly of unfulfilled ones which I made back then at the start of 2010.

Firstly, I want to dedicate more efforts into salvaging certain friendship ties which I have closed one eye on during the past year. It hurts to see friends that were close to me drift away, and therefore rather than whining on it which I used to do, I should really start doing something about it. In addition, for ties regarding my loved ones, I will put in even greater efforts to sustain them, since ties with such “lovelies” are hard to come by, and I shall not take them granted.

Secondly, I believed I had a personal fitness goal back then in 2010, to be able to achieve <9 minutes for a 2.4 KM run, and also to have a better exterior physique. Unfortunately, efforts were minimal to meet such a goal, so I will try even much harder to achieve such a goal this year. A good health is the best asset anyone can have. I also believe that goals without specific semi-goals would be impossible to achieve, and so here are the more specific ones regarding my physical health:

• To bulk up!

• Run and control my diet-levels so as to achieve that alluring 6-packs!

• Improve my flexibility and explosiveness in my jumps.

• Ultimately, achieve a timing of 8:50 for 2.4Km runs!

Lastly, this is an entirely new resolution. I need to start reading up on law books so that I can arrange for a possible internship after year 3! Also, with that, I aim to achieve a bare-minimum of CGPA 3.8 at the end of year 2 to have any possible chance of admission into a law school. How about my SAT grades? A score of 2000 should be sufficient I believe.

I am feeling motivated for year 2011 already, are you? Let us all work hard for our aims and goals, and I hereby wish all my readers a very wonderful year ahead and all the best for the incoming endeavours! Year 2011 will be awesome.

Should’ve anticipated people will be working and such.

A simple dinner would be fine really… Guess I was just too thick-skinned. (:

If you think I couldn’t bother to care anymore, you are partially-right. Would I be totally unmoved by all your death thoughts and thoughts of belonging again? Absolutely and 100% negative. I do care.

Close friends talk to each other with often intervals (i.e. 2-3 days at least) and closest friends just cannot leave each other at sight. I concur, and I believe that is your belief too.

However, (do not go bashing yourself on your blog/twitter) I am finding it amazingly difficult to breach that comfort barrier of talking to somebody every night and then, especially when it boils down to someone who is so close to me and someone I cannot bear to lose. I don’t know why. This is the reason why I have decided to stay single too, I just cannot… come online and talk to people with often intervals. I am a social recluse when I am given my own time (albeit impossible to deduce when I’m in school). Chance to ‘appear’ popular and be in the mix, that would be some of your thoughts. But no, the true purpose lies in having fun and friends who will be there for you in certain occasions.

I hope it’s not too abstract, I have clearly laid out what are my thoughts. If you have opened up, you would not be having such thoughts. If you had taken after my advice, you would not be in such pain. If you believe in making a new change to your life, you would be coping fine with every aspects of your life. Those are the assumptions I made. Selfish ones. I did not regard how your personality stood in the way, since we are all different in that aspects as much as how close in personality and character we may appear to be at times, and at those times, evidently so or conversely so.

All I plead for you to do now, is to take that leap of faith and find activities that trigger your interest, regardless of how lame they may appear to be (make sure their legal though). That was the first step I took to get myself out of the depressed state a few years ago. I’m not giving up on you or myself, but I’m not someone who says this kind of thing to a friend in a chat. I express it better through semi-essays like this. Keep yourself engaged; someday the thoughts will go away.

That’s all. The rest is up to you; since all the paths of our lives unravel differently, but the destiny and outcome remains closely parallel and related. Jiayous!

Stress is a term in psychology and biology, first coined in the biological context in the 1930s, which has in more recent decades become a commonplace of popular parlance. It refers to the consequence of the failure of an organism – human or animal – to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats, whether actual or imagined.^[1]

~From Wikipedia.org

🙂