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Wanting to maximize my efforts I sought to explain what I feel about trials and the following was written:
A divine mixture of trials and blessings baked in the oven of mortality will feed your soul. This is the recipe called growth."
-Shanna C. Hugie
Recently I pondered just what it means to "pledge your life" to Heavenly Father and I realized that there are many ways we do that.....
I would pledge my feet to follow
The footpath built for me
By a loving Father
A portal to eternity.
I would pledge to use my hands
To lift another soul
For in service to another
My part is added to the whole.
I would pledge to use my talents
To glorify His name
That another may be kindled
By an eternal flame.
I would pledge to leave my spirit
Open to the growth He sends
To be grateful for my trials
As my deep wound He mends.
I would pledge my ears to listen
To only heaven's voice
So when the adversary beckons
I'll make a better choice.
I would pledge my heart to love
Every being that I see
Never to forget
That I must first love me . . .
Shanna C. Hugie
I wrote this as I was waiting in the foyer for Church to start. Seated next to me was someone who hadn't attended their meetings in some time and had expressed that they were nervous and felt somewhat out of place. In walked a fairly young man who seemed really young (I learned later that he was small for his age). He came in the door and was focused on getting a room set up for a class presidency meeting. He checked his watch, turned on the light and set up the chairs. The following was inspired as I learned from him how to give valiant service----even if you believe no one is watching.
He came into the building
With scriptures in his hand
His suit was freshly pressed
His attendance he had planned.
He seemed to sense his purpose
As he entered he seemed tall
Yet, upon a closer look
Still a child’s frame so small.
His tie was not proportioned
To his neck or to his length
Still, his determination
Became the observer’s strength.
Unknown to his awareness
Were older searching eyes
Dimmed by the passing years
They’d forgotten to be wise.
Could it be that Father sent
A little child to show
Another soul much older
How a testimony grows.
Just as the boy grows up
In proportion to his tie
The lost sheep now returning
Will learn the way to try.
Was it just coincidence
That the older searching eyes
Had learned a new life lesson
From a little child so wise?
For the world would be such chaos
If man was left alone
But Father is in charge
Of the garden He has grown.
The harvest of true character
By the hand of Father here
Was cultivated first
Then moistened with our tears.
He tilled our surface open
Then dropped in seeds of time
The “Son” warms us for the growing
Into our destiny divine.
-Shanna C. Hugie
Sometimes in life we lose a loved one and no matter how hard we try we cannot make sense of the loss. I offer this as a source of comfort that we may all know that Heavenly Father sees the bigger picture.....We would have held them closely.
To hold them gently here
But, it wasn't meant to be
And . . . now we struggle through our tears.
We know that one day later
We'll see them endless times
But, for now, they are just healing
In the arms of the divine.
We cannot know the answers
To every question asked
So, for now we each must labor
To accomplish our own tasks.
May Father heal our wounded souls
And bless our minds to see
The essence of their spirit
That blessed our lives so perfectly.
May we be given solace
Father loves us each, you see
He knows the tests He gave us
To cloak us for eternity.
So, while we miss our loved one
Who has left us for a while
May we listen for their echo
Heard on our mortal mile.
Then, when we've learned the song
Father saved for us to sing
May we take it home with us
As our gifts from life we'll bring.
May we learn our lessons well
While Father teaches them above
Then one day in heaven's classroom
We'll find the circle of God's love.
-Shanna C. Hugie
Sometimes we watch loved ones struggle. Sometimes we struggle. I wrote this as I reflected how sometimes the prayers of another can and does make all the difference . . .I was born into the Gospel
And baptized then at eight.
I was taught the many truths
That the way I could locate.
As I grew I came to question
All that I had learned
I found no testimony
In my heart that burned.
I felt hope slip away
The world seemed dark and gray.
The sadness of this life
Filled my heart with deep dismay.
No longer did a sunrise
Stir my heart to fill
Gratitude escaped my being
As my spirit became ill...
My essence became vacant
As I drifted time to time
I forgot that I was precious
In the image of divine.
It was easy to despair
And impossible to dream
I started living counterfeit
As I fulfilled a black hole scheme.
Yet - - - someone from beyond
Kneeled down upon their knees
Praying fervently to Father
To throw a line to me.
My hands were thrashing wildly
In the darkness I was in
I felt a chord - I grabbed it firm
Then . . . I was lifted up to Him...
-Shanna C. Hugie
As I finished watching the first two sessions of October 2009 LDS Conference and felt a new resolve to "be in touch" and "run the Lord's Errand" daily, I thought of my family as they have given service in their lives. I wrote the following. Although it is about serving an LDS mission, that's really what life is all about----service...
Lord, you called me on this mission
Then, I started to prepare
The earthly things I needed
To give my service there.
The “to dos” seemed overwhelming
As I planned what I would need
Clothing, books and all supplies
That would help me to succeed.
From the time that I was small
My parents helped me to
Prepare my inner spirit
To give my all to You.
My spirit had been clothed
With a testimony strong.
The spirit blessed me often
To choose the right from wrong.
The clothing purchased carefully
Would announce me to the world
That they might know in spirit
I would share a treasured pearl.
For my outer self must reflect
What my spirit had become
So my message could be heard
I was there to find someone.
My clothing started new
My shoes were tight at first
Yet, walking on the Lord’s path
Worn soles and seams did burst.
Although I had been careful
And my clothing lasted well
My shoes wore out quite often
As I walked the service trail.
May my feet be led in wisdom
Down the pathway I am led
May my footsteps wear out the shoes of time
That Father’s children may be fed.
-Shanna C. Hugie
Yesterday was an LDS Temple Dedication for the Oquirrh Temple in Utah. As I contemplated the beautiful chandeliers that always adorn our temples and their significance, I couldn't help but reflect on how we each, like an individual crystal, make up the beautiful celestial light of our Heavenly Father's family. I offer the following:
The light of a small candle
In the brilliance of the day
Often goes unnoticed
Yet . . . in darkness shows the way.
The facets of a crystal
In a darkened room
Melt unto the background
When the light source comes from gloom
So many tiny pieces
Scattered on the floor
Yet, when crafted by the Savior
Each one added then is more . . .
When the source of light is heaven
To illuminate the soul
Every piece is added skillfully
Then - - - the chandelier is whole . . .
-Shanna C. Hugie
Sometimes in life we feel mowed down by the frequency of our trials and we forget who we are. I wrote this to remind myself that if I'll just remember where to look then those trials will serve to refine me not defeat me.
She heard the words there spoken
Prepared to be shared with all
Yet, she couldn't quite imagine
Rising from her need to crawl.
She heard the speaker say
That each soul had priceless worth
Yet, she felt that she had lacked
That value given us at birth.
When she looked into a mirror
She saw no beauty there.
When it came to living life
She felt so unprepared.
Her eyes were often downward
As though they were afraid
That someone would see beyond
The fortress she had made.
Sometimes she would glimpse
At the light another cast
She longed to make a change
Yet, she managed to be last.
She imagined she was missed
As talents were handed out.
She knew she was deficient
Self worth was filled with doubt.
Her smile was long forgotten
Replaced with those worried lines
She wondered if Father noticed
Her there-----that place----that time.....
Still, there on the row ahead
A child's eyes of heaven's blue
Looked deep into her spirit
Then they spoke the words so true...
"Are you Heddy Fadders Welative"?
And she couldn't help but smile
Then she answered "I'm His daughter"
To the question of the child
Then something quite amazing
Happened there that day
Father sent a small reminder....
A child to show the way.
She became his favorite friend
An adopted grandma there
She learned her royal heritage
Was found when she would share.
Her countenance was altered
She glowed from deep within
What changed? . . . she just looked up
Then reflected light from Him...
-Shanna C. Hugie
Somehow, I've never yet "loved" Mother's Day - that is, until I put my mind to it....
This poem is my attempt to remind myself what I'm sure my Heavenly Father has been trying to get through to me (and all of His daughters) throughout this mortal attempt.
She had come to feel so small
As she lived throughout her days.
She felt she was invisible
In Heavenly Father's gaze.
She had tried to do it right
But, felt that she had failed
Thinking she was drifting
On life's sea without a sail.
She often would evaluate
Her worth as second rate
Feeling almost hopeless
Believing it was too late.
She was reading from a text
Written by the hand of man
It lacked the truth once written
On life's pages by God's hand.
So many years she faltered
To believe her destiny
A cherished daughter to her Father
She'd forgotten just to see.
For to feel so unimportant
Is to listen to a lie
Every daughter here is cherished----
Here on earth she'll learn to fly...........
For if she decides to listen
To the adversary here
She may not hear God's whisper
"You're enough . . . . " within her ear.....
Shanna C. Hugie
We are all imperfect human beings and sometimes we do something to someone that is hurtful or they to us. I wrote the following as I contemplated the need to forgive and to be forgiven.
When someone says "I'm sorry"
And they've apologized
Then, we will let it go
If we indeed are wise.
But, what of those who err
Then say "I'm sorry" with a smile
Then do it wrong again
Should we walk with them a mile?
When someone needs forgiveness
It is up to us to try
To turn the other cheek
And then help them learn to fly.
Or, perhaps we could just listen
And give the benefit of doubt
And then on bended knee
Ask God to help them out.
Could we think of things to do
That will help their life along
Or, if they've really hurt us
Will forgiveness right the wrong?
For when we have been wounded
And our spirit hasn't healed
Then holding onto rancor
Will rip open our heart's seal.
What if you are the one
Who hurt another on your way
Apologize, then change
Live exactly what you say.
Tomorrow may bring sorrow
At the hands of one you love
If you embrace forgiveness
You'll see heaven up above.
But, if you hold a grudge
And hide from others here
You'll have a life of sadness
As you choose to live in fear.
Father wants us to love others
And pray for all we meet
Forgive, then do all kindness
As eternity you seek.
Shanna C. Hugie
I just came across the following poem I wrote shortly after my mother passed away. Even though she has been gone for a time now, this poem continues to be a poignant reminder of how much I miss her.....Though you have gone on
To an eternal better place
I wonder, do you see me?
Can you remember my face?
Although I cannot hug you
Can I somehow hug the wind?
Are you busy, on a schedule?
Do you feel my love within?
When now you write your thoughts
Are they written on the clouds?
If I will look above
Can I read them? Am I allowed?
Who can I call to tell
About a blessing in my day?
If I say it soft out loud
Will sound waves carry it away?
What was it like to see
Your dear departed mate?
Was he waiting with a rose?
Did he open heaven’s gate?
I suppose the losing
Of those we love so dear
Helps us to understand
Father’s sacrifice – his Son – right here.
It seems the only time
My eyes can see the way
Is when I close my eyelids
As I bow my head to pray.
For our mortal eyes can see
The beauty of the earth.
But the vision of our spirit
Sees long before our birth.
Oh, may I strive to offer
My hands so willingly
To run the errands of my Father
And remember I’m your posterity.
And, when I see you once again.
When I am called back home.
May I bring you Heaven’s Daisies
From the seeds your life has sown.
Shanna C. Hugie
I wrote the following on Father's Day for my Dad. So many good memories....so many treasures he taught me....so good to remember---
You held me by the hand
As you steadied learning feet.
You taught to me integrity
And to learn from my defeat.
You taught me by example
How to work for all I have.
You were strong with gentle hands
As your footsteps made a path.
You taught me I was precious
Worth more than gems on earth
I knew to seek a husband
Who would love each child at birth.
You had a sense of humor
Your hands could hold the world
Though you were my super hero
You were tender to your girls.
You lived your testimony
And taught lessons with your life
The way you cherished mother
Taught me to be a wife.
Although you live in heaven
Sometimes I see you smile
You're my Dad and I remember
When you walked with me a mile.
-Shanna C. Hugie
I wrote this on a recent trip to Idaho. Most of the trip I experienced the warmth of sunshine. Interlaced throughout my journey was sudden banks of fog and ice-glazed roads when I came around the next bend. I was blessed with a more seasoned driver in front of me who would slow his truck and seemed to know what was about to come.....if I had passed him I believe that I wouldn't have been here to write the following for there were other less fortunate drivers in various stages of up-ended-ness on the sides of the road who were caught unprepared....it seems to me that life is a lot like that trip to Idaho:
Life gives us each experience
To prepare the way to grow
We prefer the warmth of calmness
And would choose that path to go
But, Father from his lofty place
Can see the growth beds here
So, He leads us to the highway
Where our mortal eyes know fear.
For what we see ahead
Is the fog once faced before.
We can stop or turn away….
To seek a safer shore.
But, if we seek the Pilot
He will bring us through the haze
Only then can we embrace
A light sent on heaven’s rays.
For life can seem to fade
When we choose to never try
When we surrender our control
Father then teaches us to fly. -Shanna C. Hugie
I have often been grateful for "being a girl" for many reasons. One of them happens every time I am in Sacrament Meeting and I hear a young man have to start over the Sacrament Prayer because of an "error".....I don't think I could bear the "shame".......and, I always feel for him----always wish I could think of a way to offer comfort. Until I wrote the following, I was lacking in knowing what to do or say and then the inspiration happened. It seems I was "responsible" all along-----my Heavenly Father was trying to get MY attention!I prepared to take the Sacrament. I sang the hymnal tune. Blocking my weekday thoughts I felt the spirit in the room. As the blessing on the bread Began, my thoughts then dimmed. I didn't mean to daydream. My promises seemed thin. But then, the young man stumbled And the prayer was not approved So, he started once again For a moment. . . I was moved. But again, my thoughts were melted Then, for the second time I thought of mortal woes And lost touch with the divine. When I thought the time had passed And was about to say "Amen" I noticed for the third time The young man started up again. Perhaps, instead of it being A struggle for this young man Could it be that it was Father Giving ME a chance to listen---again.... - Shanna C. Hugie
