I would... I will...

I could... I can...

I might... I must...


Be Good...

After some research, I've found that I'm suffering from Obsessive Retardation Disease (ORD).

Obsessive Retardation Disease:

Introduction - It is a mental disorder officially recognised by the Regimental Organisation of Doctors (ROD), a paramilitary medical organisation affiliated with the Singapore Armed Forces Medical Corps. First indentifid in 1967 by the pioneer batch of SAF Medical Officers nearing the end of their military draft, it has since been studied extensively and categorised, despite early controversy over its classification, as a legitimate mental disease.

Origin - It was first indentified and named by CPT (Dr) Orded Loh in 1967. It was christened as such it was characterised by psychologists specialising in neuroses as a obsessive-compulsive disorder which fixates its victim's attention on something in particulater, and in so doing degrades the cognitive abilities of its victim i.e. retards his mind. CPT (Dr) Loh. who himself succumbed to the disease, was the first to observe that the disease mainly occurred among NSFs, even among those who had no family or personal history of mental illness.

Symptoms -
Individuals afflicted by ORD exhibit a variety of symptoms, which upon first sight appear mutually contradictory. Apparent injuries formerly sustained by the afflicted victim, notably those inhibiting vigorous phyiscal activity necessary for rigorous training as a soldier, diminishes at an accelerated rate, usually without accompanying treatment of any form. The phenomenal rate of recuperation ensures that the ORD-stricken serviceman fully recovers by the time he leaves the army. Though less common, but ubiquitous is the observation that some formerly medically unfit servicemen, those assigned Pes C or E, recovers fast enough to be upgraded back to Pes B.
At the same time, perhaps somewhat ironically, the same individuals afflicted with the mental illness have been observed to fall ill more often to common minor illnesses, such as Influenza, diarrhoeas (perhaps the most common), fever and sore throats etc, resulting in an observed increment of medical sick leave (MCs) taken by the ORD personnel. Periods of such medical leave are known to occur in conjunction with outstanding leave or days off. Subjects afflicted with ORD also experiences reduced inhibitions: there individuals are often observed by their normal peers to appear relaxed and generally happier at all times.
General incompetence accompanies their reduced inhibitions; errors identified in the course of duty or owkr by fellow co-workers or peers are often left uncorrected by the victim even if their existence was acknowledged. The discrepancies in question are often shrugged off by the ORD-afflicted author. ORD also appears to reduce the attention span and concentration intensity of its victims with regards to their everyday work. Perhaps, most bizarrely, patients suffering from ORD have been known to at times, orally exclaim the very name of the disease, followed by a "Loh!".

Occurences - ORD has been observed to affect mostly Full-time National Servicemen (NSFs) though NSFs with an overzealous attitude in military service appear to be particularly resistant to the mental disorder, though most would eventually succumb to the disease. With few exceptions, regular servicemen appear to suffer from it only rarely, though the disease tends to affect regular servicemen nearing the ned of their military contract, largely those emplaced on short-term schemes. The disorder has also been observed to be mysteriously absent in NSFs pending absorption into regular service.

Diagnosis - As with most mental aberrations ORD is difficult to diagnose definitively because no physical symptoms manifest themselves in its victim. Prognosis of ORD consists of usually no more than verifying the date of official discharge of the NSF concerned as less than 3 months away, though early warning symptoms may present themselves earlier than expected. A serviceman may be diagnosed with ORD when he has been observed to have at most less than 3 months of service balance and exhibits most or all of the above symptoms.

Treatment - At present, no lasting form of treatment exists for victims of ORD. Drugs commonly prescibed for other obsessive-compulsive disorders appear to have little discernible effect on ORD. More paradoxically, befitting its status as a mental anomaly, victims of ORD are usually content to remain in their current state and often refuse attmepted treatment of any form. This observation concurs with its identified categorisation as an obsessive-compulsive disorder, with the exception that its presence is usually cheerfully acknowledged by the sufferer.
Effective short-term treatment include prologing the date of their official discharge, forfeiture of leave balance and days off, as well as assignment of extra weekend duties, all of which appears to damnpen the ecstasy experienced by ORD suffers. It is strongly not recommended though.

Preventive measures - At present no effective preventive measures exist to circumvent the inevitable onset of ORD for NSFs nearing the end of their service, though it has been observed that threatening the ORD sufferer with the treatment as outlined above depreciates the inception of the disorder.
As with treatment, would-be sufferers of ORD often refuse to take any form of preventive measure against ORD, and more often than not, in fact, eagerly await the onset of ORD.

Conclusion - Despite various extensive studies ever since its discovery, ORD remains an enigma to most SAF psychologists seeking to understand the disease better. The above exposition should serve to aid superiors in better understanding and elucidating the omnipresent mental disorder which would eventually befall their subordinates.

P.S.: The above content are purely satirical in nature and have zero informative value. The author accepts no responsiblity on any part on himself for any possible negative consequences stemming from the above.

cey-cey got a wish... "everyday is a holiday"

i've got mine too... perhaps greedier... "every moment spent with dumbo is like today"... i'm just too good at wasting life away :P

Probably i'm expecting a little too much...

"There are three types of people: people who watch things happen, people who wonders what happened and those who make it happen."

which one will i be?

a small pathetic weakling
twenty-one
12th Mar

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