Why? Oh why, Normy do you cheese like a fool for the camera all day long, then as soon as I try and get a picture for the Christmas card this is the best I can get?



We fly to Kansas tomorrow!!!

Mind bogglingly enough, Normy turned 6 months old back on December 12th . AMAZING. How can it be that my sweet little guy is already half a year old? It seems impossible. Wasn’t he just a helpless blob who couldn’t hold his head up? Now he is standing on my lap, giving me kisses, and clinging around my neck when I pick him up. He’s come so far. The coolest trick in his repertoire is this crazy happy scream he does. It started back when Smoochy would tickle him and get him all riled up. Now Normy screams whenever he gets happy or excited. It’s hilarious when he and Smoochy do the kiss and scream routine. They kiss then scream then kiss then scream, you get the idea.

Other than marveling over our 22lb six month old, Smoochy and I have been trying to get everything ready for Christmas before we head to Kansas. I’ve been struggling to find some holiday cheer, the Christmas Spirit if you will. I’m guzzling eggnog like it’s my job and blasting the Andy Williams Christmas tunes, but nothing seems to quite do the job. Maybe it’s because we don’t have a tree up. Smooch suggested, “Maybe because it’s not hot.” Maybe. It’s true that as a Floridian I am used to Christmas in the 70s. But somehow I don’t really think that’s it.

Seasons are a little less than traditional out here in North California too. But, then I suppose so is a good bit of the population. The seasons compliment the inhabitants: an unusual mix of everything. I’ve got new running shoes so yesterday morning I saddled Norm up in the jogging stroller and took my new shoes out for their maiden voyage.

Through the early morning fog I could make out the rolling hills that encompass my neighborhood. All summer they have been a dry golden color due to the lack of precipitation. However, now they are slowly growing back to green, as we get a cold shower every few days now. I associate green with summer and barren with fall/winter not the other way around. And yet there are tree’s here with brilliantly hued fall leaves. Everywhere I look I see pockets of fall between the palm trees. There are piles of red, orange, and golden leaves collecting in the gutters and heaped neatly on people’s now lush green lawns.

All of this Willy Wonka like fall has me mesmerized. It is beautiful. Yesterday on my jog I was even moved to stop and take a picture of this awesome tree with yellow leaves because it was just such a sight. It was a loan yellow tree in a line of green ones and all the leaves that had fallen had collected around it in a perfect circle so that it looked like the top of the tree was being reflected by the bottom. Okay, it’s possible I made too much of the tree, but I stopped to take a picture anyway. If I could figure out how to download it from my camera-phone I’d show you.

Let me illustrate for you just how silly I must have looked. Imagine, if you came upon a women with her fancy jogging stroller broadcasting her iPod tunes out for everyone’s enjoyment (or not, I was listening to Mozart at that precise moment) through a speaker on said fancy stroller; taking a picture of some tree with her pink razor phone. What would be your first thought? Yuppie? Weirdo? Does it change anything that the next song that shuffled was Interlude by Morrissey and Siouxsie of the Banshees? That’s even worse, huh?

Alright, I’m done now. You can tell there’s not much going on because I am writing about the weather and some tree. At least I’m not telling ya’ll about the mold I bleached out of my shower today. I’m sure I’ll have some more exciting things to tell you about in a few days once we’ve made it to Kansas for Christmas.

Okay, so here’s my new hair cut. For those of you who have known me longer than a decade you’ll recognize this as a new take on a hairstyle I wore in high school; the 90’s slanted bob with the back shaved and stacked. However, the back of my current do is “texturized” so it flips out and looks cute and kinda’ sassy. However, this cut is much more mom and much less poser skater girl. I’m good with that.

So, it’s eight o’ clock in the evening and I am beat. Thank God Normy’s in the sack and Smoochy and I can finally enjoy some quiet time together, alone with our laptops. Hey, whatever makes the marriage work.

Speaking of what works, every night we have the same bedtime routine for Norm; as we have been told over and over and OVER is the key to healthy sleep habits for your wee one. At seven or seven thirty one of us bathes him (while the other person cleans the kitchen.) and then once he is bathed we switch and whomever wasn’t doing the bathing takes over and does the lotion-ing and the PJ-ing. After the boy is clean, sweet smelling, and jammied-up he gets some night-night-boobie. At this point we put on his night-night music. No, not your classic lullabies; but rather Moby’s album 18. This haunting, melodic, and otherwise numbing album sure does the trick. Not only is it Normy’s queue that the “Blanket Show” is about to start but it also seems to have a sedative effect on me as well…can’t keep eyes open…

So much for posting.

It's been three days since my surgery and I feel great. In case you've been living under a rock, I had surgery on a hernia. I didn't think it was a big deal but it really scared the crap out of mom and dad when my guts came out. Dad said I blew out my O ring. Not exactly sure what that means, anyway. So it's cool that i'm fixed now because they won't be such freakouts and chicks dig scars. Personally I thought it was a cool party trick. When mom and i'd get together with our peeps i'd totally show off to the other's. I was like, "Hey Lucas, Guess what I can do? I can make my guts come out of my stomach!" They were all so jealous. They could only drool all over and smear it in their face. Some could projectile poop, that was pretty funny.

I just wanted to let everyone know I was okay and feeling better. I get a real bath today which is great because according to dad my butt is starting to get funky. Well I gotta go and keep dad company, he's super bored. Wait, I almost forgot, mom's out getting her hair cut. LIKE CUT OFF! I'll post pictures when she gets back. 

We aren’t getting out of bed today. Normy is pretty uncomfortable; you would be too if you had a camera inserted into your bellybutton, your tummy pumped full of CO2, and some stitches on the inside and outside. In a nutshell, that was the procedure. They put in the laparoscopic camera, filled him with gas, took a look around, and sewed up the offending hernia. The surgery took less than an hour from the time they put him under until he was all stitched up. The good news is that his bowl was undamaged by the strangulation, he only had the one hernia, and he should be right as rain in just a couple of days.

The poor little guy slept solid from the moment we got home until four o’ clock this morning. Since then he’s only been awake for an hour so at a stretch. I definitely plan on spending the day in bed with him just kind of chilling out and helping my little man recover. I’ve got some good bed activities to keep myself busy, including our Christmas letter to compose, and a photo album to make. I’ll probably throw some stuff in the crock-pot for this evening, and I’m letting the dust bunny’s collect. *Sigh* It is really nice after everything to take a chance to recuperate myself. I feel exhausted. I know Smoochy does too. And the poor guy has to go back into work today. That daddy sure does love us!

Once again, thank you so much for checking in on all of us and making sure we’re doing okay! Knowing that you folks are out there pulling for us has been comforting. Thankfully this has been a comparatively uncomplicated, minimally painful, and mostly noninvasive procedure. My heart goes out to all the parents whose children can’t be as easily made all-better. We truly have been blessed.

Thank you so much everyone for thinking of us today. Your prayers and well wishes have meant the world to us. Normy's surgery was a success, and we were in and out of Stanford with no complications. I will write more tomorrow. But for now I just wanted you all to know that he is doing just fine. No surprise, he is sleeping like a rock right now. Smoochy and I are about to settle in and watch a movie. Ahhh decompression. Today has been one big sigh of relief.

Thursday night as we drove home from the Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford I thanked God for good doctors and nurses, the cancellation of our trip to South Korea, and mostly for my wonderful fat happy son. The drive home from our twenty four hour hospital stay felt like some strange limbo between our normal lives and this scary alternate universe we had somehow ended up in.

It all started as a normal night at casa de Smoochy. I was quietly nursing Normy when he started sputtering and choking on his boobie milk. I sat him right up and patted his back as he threw himself into a monster coughing and crying fit. By the time his daddy got home a half hour later he was still upset. He was fussing and whimpering and just would not settle down. Dad went to change his diaper to rule that out as the cause of distress and from the other room I heard Smoochy call out, “I’ve found it.”

I went into the bedroom to find Normy had a giant bulging knot in his groin area. If you remember from several months ago, we had been to Stanford once before to have what we thought might be a hernia checked out. At the time, the physicians assistant (PA) we saw told us that what Normy was experiencing was most likely something called a hydra seal, and would probably go away in time and that we were to simply watch and wait. When we were there the condition did not manifest so she could only base her conclusion on what we told her. However she told us that if it was a hernia and if it did eventually strangulate what to expect and that we should bring him STRAIGHT to Stanford as that would be an emergency condition.

We had not seen or thought about the bulges for several months. As predicted they vanished, the openings seemly closed up on their own; until Wednesday night that is. Just as the PA had described, this bump could not be pushed back inside him (unlike what we could do when it presented itself before). Plus, in the past we could touch it with no problem, but if we so much as breathed on this new bulge he would FLIP OUT. Smoochy and I looked into each others eyes with fear and unanimously decided to get out baby to the hospital.

I’ll gloss over the flurry of activity that ensued in the five minuets in between our decision to leave and us actually walking unprepared out the door. I will say Normy was only wearing a diaper and t-shirt, I hadn’t showered yet that day (after a jog), and Jacob hadn’t been home from work a half hour. We were a mess. Then to top it all off, we took the wrong bridge to get there. Awesome.

Thank God we were on our way to Stanford, and as far as hospitals go, they rock. From the time we got to the Emergency Room to the time we actually saw the first resident couldn’t have been more than an hour. The resident quickly deduced that in fact Normy had a strangulated hernia and that Smoochy and I were not over reactive first time parents. The resident, attending, and surgeon all agreed that the best course of action was to reduce the hernia as opposed to surgery, and they all took a turn trying to accomplish that goal.

“Reducing the hernia” meant that they wanted to push it back inside him in order to buy us some time so that we could schedule his surgery for a couple days later after his swelling had gone down. This sounds simple enough but it was the most agonizing thing in the world to watch as a parent. My baby was beside himself with fear and pain by this point. Every time someone touched his hernia he was set off again. Plus setting an IV was a monster challenge as he is such a chunky monkey that it was nearly impossible for the nurses to find a vein. They poked and poked and poked him in the arm before they at last gave up and poked him several more times in the foot before they finally hit there mark. I was a wreck.

To reduce the hernia they sedated him with a drug called Brevitol, for which we had to sign a pretty standard release. We were told the most serious risk to this fast acting and short lived (hence BREVitol) sedative was that it had rarely been known to cause kids to stop breathing, and so it would only be administered to him once every once was set and ready to go and only with a second doctor standing ready to resuscitate him if necessary. Once they had knocked Normy out they went to work vigorously kneading, pressing, and massaging his strangulated bowl trying to get it back inside. It. Was. Not. Gentle.

Like I said, the resident and the attending doctor gave it a try. After they were unsuccessful, they called in the surgeon from home to attempt as well. She too kneaded, and wrenched, and palpitated my baby’s poor little groin. The hernia would not reduce. I can not express to you how intense and frightening this was to watch as a parent. Dose after dose of this sedative was given to my baby as the last would wear off. He’s such a little tank that he took more to keep him down than they give most babies. I watched his heart beat get lower and lower on the screen that monitored his vitals.

The surgeon decided that the hernia was not going to reduce and began preparations for surgery. The operating room was readied and the anesthesiologist was called and on her way to our room. We were seriously 30 seconds from leaving for the OR when after one last try (accompanied by one more dose of sedative) the hernia finally reduced completely. The surgeon pumped her fist and said, “YES!” There was a collective sigh of relief from all the medical professionals who were crammed into the room.

From there they were on the fence about whether to send us home with instructions to watch Normy closely for various symptoms of trouble or whether to admit him to be monitored for the night. The doctors were leaning towards sending us home because they did not have the bed space and I was leaning towards asking to stay because I was so freaked out.

Normy decided for us. He passed the most giant enormous bright red IHOP pancake sized puddle of blood into his blanket. Though the doctors reassured us that this was a result of the strenuous palpitation on his bowl, and not necessarily bad they definitely wanted to observe him through the night to be sure that part of his bowl had not been choked to death (which would have necessitated that segment’s surgical removal). This sure put his sun burned cheeks into perspective.

However, as I just wrote the hospital was very short on beds so at midnight we were at last admitted into Lucile Packard’s NICU, which was the only spot they could find.

The NICU nurses were wonderful, and completely in love with their comparatively giant new charge. They set us up with what they called a “big boy crib” and a rocking chair in-between the islets of the tiniest of tiny little-bitty preemies. I tried to take the first watch with but it turned out that Normy really needed his daddy. When I tried to rock him to sleep all Normy wanted to do was nurse and he was prohibited from eating in the event he needed to have surgery immediately. In Smoochy’s arms however he could rest. So for the first four hours Daddy and Normy rocked and rocked and rocked.

It was about nine the next morning when the doctors told us they couldn’t get Normy into surgery until early next week and he was cleared to eat. From there out our hospital stay was fairly uneventful. We watched and waited as Normy proved to us that he was alright to be released. His temperature remained normal, he could keep his milk down, and by late afternoon there was no more blood in his poop. Yea! It was about five o’ clock when we started packing up and doing his check out exam.

It had been easy to ignore the far too small little bundles of babies in their clear plastic boxes. Most of the isolettes were covered with brightly colored blankets so that the eternal florescent day of the NICU lights wouldn’t intrude into the pseudo-wombs. The babies who's incubators were uncovered were themselves so tightly wrapped that there was hardly a tiny little face or foot exposed. Except for the occasional slight and small cry I think I had hardly been aware of the other babies.

It was easy to stay completely focused on OUR sick baby. We had worries of our own; after the stress of the ER and a sleepless night spent in a hospital rocker, both of us had become very withdrawn into ourselves and our family. However, once I was happily bundling Normy in his own jammies and chatting somewhat loudly with him about what a cute baby he was and so on, Smoochy leaned in close to me and whispered, “Shhh Becca, just remember there are other parents in here who won’t be taking there babies home tonight, if ever, and even if they do they might not ever be normal like our little guy. And just like that suddenly the gravity of the NICU finally reached me.

I had watched when they brought in an unfathomably tiny 26 week old girl and get her stable in the isolette next to us. I saw the tears streaming down the fathers face as he watched them attach the ventilator, the monitors, and the many many wires whose purpose I can’t image. But it wasn’t until Smoochy whispered to me that I finally took it all in. All along we had been there with our rosy cheeked smiling chubster with his scary but not to threatening strangulated hernia and these parents had babies they could not hold, babies who may never see, or count to ten, or be able to play sports.

I think whenever a parent brings a health baby home from a trip to the Emergency Room they have a new appreciation for the gift of their child. However, for us our trip to the NICU heightened that gratefulness. Normy is an amazingly tough and happy little boy. His resilience is impressive and we were so relieved to get home last night with our son. We were home to our shower, and our bed, and our family. As for his hernia: he is scheduled for out patient surgery this Tuesday. We are all just glad that in a few days this whole thing will be behind us!

Dear Mom,

Way to go. You suck. What? Were you to busy gabbing with your friend today on our walk to notice the sun was hitting me straight in the face? Sure, you had the shade up over the stroller, but it obviously did no good the way you had it positioned. Thank God I was wearing my beanie and hoodie (thank you Uncle Chuck) or this could have been much worse! Sheesh woman, pay attention!!!

Love, Normy

PS: I still love you.

I Spent WAY too much time on this. Thanks a lot South Park Lizzy.

The Amazing Normy is blossoming right before our eyes in to the cutest, coolest, and most advanced little boy on the face of the planet. This past month has been a whirlwind of milestones. He turned five months old on November 12^th, and really he has been taking off since a little before then. He came home from his visit at Grampy and Grammy’s in Naples a different baby than when he left. It was in Naples that he REALLY started getting grabby. Suddenly at meal times I had to start being cautious of what was within his reach. I was eating at a Taco Bell the afternoon before our first weekend trip to Tampa (So that was October 27^th) when he reached up and grabbed the paper from around the delicious 7-Layer Burrito I was snarffing and gave it a good tug, nearly sending my burrito to the floor.

From there on out we would hand him a spoon at dinner time so he could amuse himself while we ate. At first it would take him a little while to reach out and get his fat little fingers around it. However, by the end of our three week visit he was a pro. The spoon grab was one smooth move that lead straight to his mouth. The funniest thing was watching him cram it back a little too far. He’d make the cutest little gagging noise! Okay, I know that probably makes me a bad Mom, but it was freaking hilarious!

His biggest accomplishment in Naples was learning how to turn over from back to front. It happened for the first time after changing his diaper. I wish I had jotted down the exact date, but it was probably November 1^st which was a Wednesday. He did it just a couple of times that day, but the next day he rolled-over over and over! Every time I would lay him down he’d FLIP!!! It was funny because all of a sudden he wanted to rollover as soon as I put him down, even if it was to change his diaper. It was a riot trying to keep him from steam rolling poop everywhere. There was once in Naples he did a full 360 degree roll, but I haven’t seen that since.

So now that grabbing and rolling-over are a normal part of his daily routine, there are new skills for my darling Norman to accomplish. Right now he’s working pretty hard at sitting up all buy himself. Today he did so for the longest stretch yet. It was probably a whole 3 minutes!!! He’s still pretty tipsy, but I betchya’ that in two weeks he will have it DOWN.

Yesterday was a big day for my baby. We started him on cereal yesterday! Sort of. It went GREAT! He LOVED it! Of course I made his baby oatmeal with boobie milk, so it wasn’t so much of a new taste sensation. His dad and I had a blast shoveling big bite-fulls of yummyness in to his open and willing little mouth. He didn’t throw it up either, as we had speculated was likely.

That being said, I don’t think we will be giving him any more cereal for a week or two. By his bedtime he had developed a little rash on his butt and we notice just a touch of blood in his poop. We’re going to keep an eye on him; but I don’t think it’s serious. I think we just jumped the gun with the solid food. Maybe we should have started with baby rice cereal instead of baby oatmeal?

We ordered him a super cool highchair. I am totally STOKKED about it! Perhaps once it arrives and Smoochy gets it assembled we will give solids a try again. Next time we’ll try with rice instead of oatmeal and see how it goes. I am excited to introduce him to food. I guess a part of me is a little sad that soon he won’t be exclusively nursing. I will miss the feeling of knowing he doesn’t need anything but me to thrive; but it’s just a little part. I am mostly just looking forward to helping him discover all the wonderful tastes that are out there. It’s going to be so much fun. Plus, as an added bonus, Smoochy will be able to take on a more active roll in feeding the kiddo and I know he is looking forward to that as well.

My little baby is turning into such a big boy. He sure is strong. Just TRY and peal something (like my hair) out of those little hands if he wants to hold on. Plus, as of a few days ago he can pass objects from one hand to the other. And the cool thing is now he can stand up holding on to just your fingers. His balance is really developing. He’s even started bouncing a little once he gets good and steady. But the VERY BEST is now he gives kisses, wet open mouth soft baby kisses!

So, there you have it. Normy: on his way to greatness!

***UPDATE***

It’s almost been 24 hours since we noticed the bit of blood in his diaper and we haven’t seen any since. I really think it was the cereal. So, we’re going to wait a little before we try again with RICE!

Happy Thanksgiving! Right now Mom is running around like a chicken with her head cut off because Daddy surprised her with a two night stay in Monterey! She’s super excited and packing like a maniac. Of course Dad's pissed cause she always brings too many shoes clothes. They wanted me to let you all know that we love you and wish we could all be together tomorrow! See you soon!

Home is where the heart is. My heart is spread all over this huge country. My heart is in the capital of Kansas and another of that great state’s tiny towns. My heart is in a bustling Floridian city and in a sleepy farming village in New York. I am right at home with my friends/neighbors/family in the marshes of Georgia. But there is no other home like Smoochy’s arms. As long as we are together, home can be just about anywhere. Right now home is a little mother-in-law cottage in California.

California. Who’da thunk it? When we first started talking about separating from the Navy this was the ONE place we said we did not want to go. The thought of being so far from our families and the high cost of living out here was enough to convince us to stay further East. I will skip the process by which we changed our minds, but needless to say somewhere along the lines we became excited by the prospect of heading west. So, in the great tradition of the Gold Rush; we mustered our adventurous spirit, pulled up stakes, and headed west.

Now that we are here, many of our original concerns have manifested. Buying a home isn't a good idea for us right now. Who wants to mortgage half a million dollars for a house the size of a postage stamp? Also, the distance between our families some times makes me feel like we are living in a different country. While I am preparing our supper my folks are brushing their teeth for bed. Well, Dad’s in bed reading his latest book and my mom is furiously cutting out stuff for her kindergarteners’ craft projects; but you get the point.

Some days (especially the last few), when I get to thinking about all of Normy’s aunts, uncles, and grandparents who so badly want to be a part of his life I wish we lived someplace more central to all of them; someplace where we wouldn’t be thousands of dollars in airfare or thousands of miles in highway out of reach. Couldn’t we ALL relocate to a new town together? All the folks from Kansas and Florida could meet in the middle someplace and take over a whole neighborhood. Like in Charleston, SC! (Right, Kate?)

But before you all start thinking I am unhappy here, I’ve got to tell you. The Smoochy’s are thriving right where we are. Perhaps this time we are spending as an autonomous unit is strengthening us in some ways. The Jacobs are my whole world, and we are coalescing into a rock solid little clan. That’s pretty cool. We are working on so much positive way out here. Smoochy feels fulfilled and challenged by his career for the first time since he graduated college and that is making EVERYONE around here happier! We are setting ourselves up in many ways. We’re saving money, Smooch is working on a pretty impressive resume, and we are all learning how to be self-sufficient. (OK, we were both already strongly independent and self-sufficient people) ;-)

The truth of the matter is that we are doing what we need to right now. In the future I would like us plant roots in a place that’s not so far away from everyone we love. But in the mean time, Smoochy and I are blessed to be right where we are now. Together. I wish I could figure a way to post Itunes on the good’ol blog, because I would like to dedicate the following song to my lovin’ husband (Who has been so patient with me, who returned to California ready to go back to Florida!):

“That’s Where It Is”
By Carrie Underpants Underwood

In the circles I've been running,
I've covered many miles,
And I could search forever for what's right before my eyes,
Just when I thought I'd found it,
It was nothing like I'd planned,
When I got my heart around it, it slipped right through my hands,
Here with you I feel it,
I close my eyes and see it,

In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,
When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,
When we're tangled up and can't resist,
When we feel that rush, that's where it is,
That's where it is

When I'm crashing through the madness,
Not sure who I'm supposed to be,
When I'm caught up in the darkness,
It's your hand that's leading me,
You bring me back to solid ground,
You lift me up right here, right now

In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,
When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,
When we're tangled up and can't resist,
When we feel that rush, that's where it is

It's a life time filled with tight embraces
The biggest things in the smallest places,

In a midnight talk, in a morning kiss,
When I'm in your arms, that's where it is,
When we're tangled up and can't resist,
When we feel that rush, that's where it is

In the sweetest smile, on a night like this,
And a tender touch, that's where it is,
When we're tangled up, and can't resist,
When we feel that rush, that's where it is,
That's where it is

Normy and I are really fighting a case of the grumps…and jet lag. I just haven’t quite gotten my footing yet. The house needs some love, there are bills to be sent out, laundry, unpacking, and so much more (like a lunch date this afternoon). ;-) I really want to get back to regular blogging and returning emails (Lynne, you are top on my list! Thank you for that great note!) But for now the best I can do is post some pictures of Normy. Love to all, I'll be back with it in no time!

The blog is not dead. I have no excuse for not writing other than I just needed a break. This last week in Naples has been so chock full of parties, food, family visits, and even some long lost acquaintances that I hardly have had time for sleep. OK, not really. I always find time for sleep. Sleep and food.

The chaos all started last Monday when my parents and I started getting ready to host a party for about 30 folks. I volunteered my parents’ house to host a party on the 7th to celebrate the election. Our good family friend, Pat Carroll was running for re-election as Collier County School Board President, and the party was in her honor. I put together one heck of a spread if I do say so myself; complete with chocolate fondue! ;-) The party was wonderful, Pat won her re-election, and I thoroughly enjoyed the company and beer! The whole thing kept my family and I pretty busy the first half of the week, but it all paid off because my picture made it into the Naples Daily News! He He! I’m the girl with the long hair and Corona in hand if you scroll down the page.

So, that was Tuesday. Wednesday we visited with a family (I’ll call them the Fleshman’s though that is not really their name.) who was very close to my family many many years ago. The Fleshman’s have two older daughters who babysat for my family on many occasions; a daughter with whom I went to kindergarten and first grade; and then a son the same age as my little sister. We had much in common. Both my father and their father are in construction, and we went to the same church. Both families were transplants to Florida so we had several memorable holidays together before they moved away when I was in second grade. This week they were ALL back in Naples on a family vacation. It was great to catch up and reconnect.

Thursday my sister (Kate), brother (Zach), and brother’s girlfriend (Cathy) arrived from Tampa to join in the fun. It was at that point things really kicked into gear. I can’t possibly begin to tell you how much food has been cooked and consumed in my mother’s kitchen over this past week! I have gained 7 pounds since I’ve been here and I bet 3/4ths of that tonnage has been put on this week!

Friday my sister’s fiancé (Chuck) joined us, and our home was bursting at the seams. Smoochy was the only family member absent, and as you can imagine he was sorely missed. Especially by Chuck who no doubt would have loved a fellow son-in-law to commiserate with. On Friday Mr. & Mrs. Carroll joined us in the evening for a knock- down-drag-out Trivial Pursuit tournament. We had two teams, the Over 50s VS the Under 50s. I suggested these teams as a break from our usual teams: Girls VS Boys. It was quickly apparent that this was not a good strategy as the Over 50 team had far more knowledge and experience to draw from for the game. However, the Under 50 team actually took the victory because the old folks got too tired to finish the game! YES!

Saturday my family decided to celebrate Thanksgiving as this was the last time this many of us will be together before January. Oh brother. THE FOOD. The copious amounts of food. Along with the usual holiday trimmings, deep fried Cajun injected turkey, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole and the like, we also had pumpkin pie, german chocolate cake, and a peanut butter pie. I feel full just thinking about it all.

Sunday our ranks swelled again when my Grandmother (on my dad’s side) and her husband Jim, along with my Aunt Lynn drove down from Lakeland to spend some time with us. It was a real treat as I had not seen any of them in over a year. We had such a lovely visit. My Aunt is one of the sweetest ladies you will meat and we had a great time chatting and catching up. Grandma was as wonderful as always and it was nice to get to know her new hubby a little better. They are enjoying all the Golden Years have to offer by traveling and visiting with family all over the country.
Today was the first day in a week that there hasn’t been any company other than myself. The quiet was nice. Normy and I started our day with a walk around down town Naples and to the end of the Naples Pier. From there we watched the pelicans dive bomb for fish, while listening to the sound of the wind and the quiet fishermen cast their lines again and again. It was peaceful and grey made perfect by the sighting of several dolphins circling and playing lazily in the calm waves. Afterward, I went for coffee and toast at the little diner where I once worked as the buss-girl. It was my first real job at the tender age of 14. All the same waitresses and cooks still work there, so it was fun to show off my baby boy.

So that’s been my week. As you can see, I have been busy unlike Smoochy accused in his last comment. I fly home to California and my lovin’ husband tomorrow, so it’s back to the real world. This post was probably a bit of a bore, but at least now I feel a little caught up. I still have a lot to document on Normy’s development. Especially considering this is as much of a baby book as I am keeping. He has grown leaps and bounds the last three weeks. He hasn’t put on any more weight, but he is doing more than ever; such as, rolling over back to front, grabbing for things, and ALMOST sitting up. It is AMAZING to watch him just take off. Oh well, more on that once I get settled in back in Fremont. Think of me tomorrow. Flying with Normy cross country is always a treat. Sigh.

Normy and I were reading Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein this morning and we came across the following poem:


Buddha, I mean Normy and I wish that in this coming election that the only politicians who are elected to office are men and women who espouse this philosophy. Am I being overly idealistic?

Have a great weekend, bloggers!

Seriously. How do you people with cable manage to live functioning and productive lives? I have spent just over a week at my folks' home and the TV has reduced me to a PJs lounging, coffee binging zombie. I wish I could tell you I haven't been blogging because I have been on adventure after adventure; soaking in this quality time with the family. However, the sad truth is once my parents leave for work, I start with the Today Show and eventually make my way to Discovery Health where I watch baby and birth shows until my head is fuzzy and my child is bored. Instead of reading books and blogging while we nurse we now watch videos on CMT. This is not good. I've just got to pull the plug. I have far too an addictive personality for moderation. More power to you stay-at-home moms out there who can just watch one program and walk away.

Oh well. It's only for two more weeks. And it's kind of nice to just veg. I've certainly been enjoying it. House of Babies and Birth Day have become my two most favoritest programs. For entirely different reasons. I love House of Babies, which is a show that documents the births at the midwife led Miami Maternity Center, because it shows birth as a normal and natural event that can proceed gently when healthy moms are given the time and safe space to give birth the way their bodies were meant to. Yea! Go natural birth!

Birth Day on the other hand is a show I love to hate. It is exactly opposite of House of Babies. This show makes my skin crawl every episode. All of the births documented are ultra-medicalized hospital births. Several shows (which usually feature three births each half hour) portray nothing but cesareans! Many are even elective, and the program is quick to point out that this is a growing trend. The mothers in these births receive intervention after intervention and there is never any discussion of the risks involved.

For example I have seen several high risk births (mothers with high blood pressure, over the age of 40, or with other complications.) where the mom is casually given an epidural or other drugs; only to have the birth result in a baby born with repertory difficulties and have to be transported to the NICU. Not once has there been a discussion about the potential of an epidural to have this kind of effect on the baby. It is so sad to me that women watching this show might believe this is the way birth needs to be.

Birth Day paints child birth as a crisis waiting to happen; the only thing saving these babies from certain doom is the scalpel wielding obstetrician and the mighty pitocin drip. I was appalled to watch today’s episode which featured Loretta, a mother committed to a natural child birth. It was the first such episode I had ever seen and they made natural childbirth out to be a frightening choice for moms and babies and as a rare occurrence only desired by the fringe of society.

This particular episode happily touted that only 15% of women in labor make it without an epidural. They flashed an interview with a labor nurse who said with a smug grin that there are plenty of mothers who think they want a natural child birth. Usually only the first time inexperienced moms, whose plans often change once they meet the realities of labor. It broke my heart to hear such a pessimistic attack on a woman's ability to birth her babies without medication. Let me tell you girls: I've done it. YOU CAN DO IT!

Loretta on this episode of Birth Day was one hell of a tough cookie. Her blood pressure started to spike about the time she was 4 centimeters dilated and so they started a magnesium drip to regulate her blood pressure. This worked but it also stopped her contractions. To get things moving again they augmented her labor with pitocin. This means that she was confined to bed, on her back, with continuous electronic fetal heart monitoring and a catheter...and she NEVER asked for pain relief! She is my new personal hero.

And yet when this amazingly strong woman got down to pushing the Birth Day narrators felt the need to say that because she chose not to use pain medication the obstetrician gave her special instructions on how to push effectively because a natural child birth requires tremendous effort and stamina and prolonged pushing can cause pain. What the heck is that? This show has never in the time that I've watched it (every day for one week) made a comment about the dangers that a woman who has had an epidural may face. She may not be able to push effectively because she can not feel her body, which as a result often leads to the use of forceps and vacuum extraction witch can seriously injure a baby!

As it often does it took a couple hours for Loretta to push her baby out. This too was made out to be a near crisis. The camera flashed to the doctor who "SUDDENLY KNOWS WHAT'S WRONG!" Loretta is going to have a big baby. Give me a break. From there the program launches into all of the "complications" a big baby can cause including tears, slow deliveries, and shoulder dystocia. Shoulder dystocia (when the baby's shoulders get caught on the mothers pelvic bone and impedes delivery) is a serious emergency but to mention it this context seemed to me like a way to sensationalize this otherwise beautiful and uneventful natural birth.

Of course the obstetrician and the show hyped up the possibility of a tear. Over and over they made this out to be a serious issue. And in fact Loretta did have a pretty nasty 3rd degree tear. (3rd degree tears extend to the anal sphincter that is torn but the rectal mucosa remains intact: SO NOT FUN.) But the thing that really bothered me was that instead of using perennial compress or otherwise supporting Loretta's perineum right before the baby crowned the OB simply gave her a shot of local anesthetic to numb the area... in case you tear, Sweetie. And of course the program highlighted the 35 minutes it took to stitch Loretta back up. However, I have never seen Birth Day treat the many episiotomies they've broadcast with the same spin. Episiotomies are always shown as a quick snip that heals like a dream. The truth is a woman may or may not tear, and most of the women who do, tear far less than poor Loretta and often don't even need stitches. However, a woman who receives an episiotomy will need stitches and a long time to heal.

OK, I am all worked up now and I have probably bored many of you who have taken the time to read through this. In closing all I will say is that I think it is such a shame that programs like Birth Day and many hospitals across the country make child birth out to be a crisis waiting to happen. I believe with my whole heart that if more doctors and nurses out there were willing to have trust and patience in a woman's body the outcome would improve for mother's and babies. Most of the time a laboring woman doesn’t need pitocin, she needs to get out of bed and walk; she doesn’t need an episiotomy, she needs a perennial compress; and she doesn’t need an epidural, she just needs a medical staff that believes in her and supports her.

And now your treat for making it through to the end of my rant... a little slice of Normy-Pie. That's why your here isn't it? ;-)

I LOVE FLORIDA!!! Words cannot express how good it feels to be home right now. But that picture says it all; bare foot and loving it. Funny though, I have become completely sensitised to the heat and humidity after living in the wonderful cool of the East Bay. Right now it is 62 degrees in Naples, and the South West Coast of FL is experiencing record lows for this time of year. It's only supposed to get up to 76 today! Ha Ha! Yesterday Normy and I walked around Coastland Mall and giggled at all the folks dressed in sweaters and pants to keep out the 70s! Brrrrr! ;-)

Getting here was all a blur after coming off the high of doula school. The weekend was pretty intense for both Smoochy and I. I was absorbed in learning a craft and having the most empowering and incredible bonding experience with about 12 other would be doulas; while Smoochy and Normy had their first real mono y mono time that lasted longer than a trip to the grocery store. It turned out to be great for all of us.

Doula Training was one of the most life altering experiences I have been through. I know that is a pretty big statement to make. However, I believe that as my life continues to unfold from this point that I will be able to look back on this one weekend with these amazing women and recognise it as the spark that set me on my path. The weekend seminar was hosted/taught/lead by Felica and Nicki, best friends and two of the most peaceful and profound women I have ever met. It is no surprise to me that their reputation is San Francisco provides them with FAR more potential clients than they can take on. The generosity and beauty of their souls created this amazing place in which my fellow doulas-to-be could learn, let go, and love.

Sounds a little hokie to you? Sorry, I guess you would just have to have been there. The women I met at the doula training are as valuable to me as the skill set and knowledge that I gained on the art of supporting a woman through her labor. I learned something from each and every one of the lovely and strong women that attended this seminar. I walked away from it knowing not only all of their names, but their stories, and secrets too. It was awesome and inspiring. Even if I am never to be a doula (which isn't the case!) I take away from the weekend the experience of sharing a passion with a group and how that passion can give you an instant camaraderie and bond that allows you to open up completely with one another.

It was great for Smoochy and I too. Night after night I came home to him lit up from my experiences and it rubbed off on him. We had some of the best conversations we have had in a long time, and as a result I feel reconnected and revitalized in our already steady and loving relationship. But more that that he really had some great bonding time with Normy. Smoochy has always been a very hands on and involved father. I have never had to ask for him to pay more attention to his son. However, there is nothing quite like the 24/7 care for a child all. by. yourself. It wasn't easy for him at first because Normy wasn't used to a bottle and not only did he refuse it initially but once he got going on it the bottle often made him puke. A LOT. That made it very challenging for Smooch. However, by Sunday the boys had hit there stride and that night I came home to not only a happy and full baby but a clean house!

Now I am in Florida and Smoochy is on a plane to Germany. (As you all know!) As I mentioned in my last post this is a whirlwind trip for both of us. Neither of us had much of a chance to process it, much less pack! Doula training was over at 8:00 pm Sunday night and Monday morning at 9:00 am Normy and I were in the air on our way to Naples. If it wasn't for Smoochy I would never have gotten packed. Well, Normy has JUST woken up from his nap and we've got things to do, so I am going to leave you with a couple of the cutest shots so far from our Florida vacation!

Well honey, the plane hasn't crashed... yet. Currently I'm somewhere over Europe (If I'd paid any attention during Geography or World History or even German class I could venture a guess based on speed and other uber geek stuff but since I didn't, whatever) at 35,000 ft, going some insane speed, in the world's largest class of Airplane (I think it's called an Airbus). And who'd ah thunk it, they put the internet in this darn thing, tarnation! And it's free. You have to pay to make a phone call but you can get on the internet for free and do so much more. That's logic for ya. Leave it to the Germans to use some common sense, well kind of. They have the internet but no Jack Daniels (or any bourbon for that matter), or maybe I didn't pour on enough of the ol' Smoochy schmooze. I bet they have some Jack in business class. BASTARDS! To use the bathroom you have the choice of going downstairs or staying upstairs. FYI I guess.
Well I don't really have much to say. My seat sucks (up against a bulkhead, doesn't recline as far as the other shitty economy seats), I can't sleep on airplanes, I miss my wife bad, I miss my son worse and I'm sober. However, we're over half-way there and hey, I'm going to Germany for 2 weeks on the Companies' dime. WAIT! Maybe they have some decent Gin. A Gin and Tonic sounds about right.

Well, we still haven't crashed… yet.

I love you Smoochy, be sure and kiss that fat son of mine for me.

UPDATE: No Sapphire, no Tanqueray, only Gordon's dry. Yuck! I'm sure it'll get the job done. Still in the air.

UPDATE #2: Samsonite? Man I was way off. Passed Iceland, now over the Norwegian Sea. Gordon's sucks! Still flying, still sober.

Moments ago my son was sleeping in the very crib I slept in as a baby. He just awoke from what was far too short a nap and he's now sitting on my lap as I type this. Life has been a blur the last few days. My weekend of doula training in San Francisco was a life changing experience that I could devote a book to. For now I am just popping in to let everyone know we are alive and well. We found out last Wednesday that Smoochy was going to Germany for two weeks on business. Because I couldn't go with him my parents flew me home to be with them. They wanted them some Normy time! Look at his face, can you blame them? I am so grateful to be home with them I can hardly describe it. As you can see, I have TONS to blog about, but for now I just need to kinda' settle and take in Florida. With the exception of already missing my hubby, life is incredible right now. Perhaps I'll come back tonight after Normy's in bed and tell you all about it. Sometimes life moves too fast to write about it. In this moment it is all I can do to just live it.

Well folks, doula training starts this evening and I don’t think I’ve been this excited since Christmas of 1985. I was six years, old which means I was finally old enough according to my mother’s rules to have a Barbie doll. My mother was meticulous about keeping us kids “even” when it came to Christmas gifts, so this presented a real problem for her. She couldn’t give both Katie and I Barbie dolls because Kate was only four…and Mom was very adamant that we not receive a much coveted Barbie until reaching the magic and mature age of six. (Incidentally, that was also the age at which we were allowed to pierce our ears.) And yet the Christmas presents had to be EVEN! What would she get Katie? And how would I play alone with my one Barbie? Her solution; Kate got Barbie’s little sister…Skipper.


Thus began my long career as the Barbie Tyrant. I was a completely dominant Barbie Overlord for at least two years, if not always. Kate was firmly entrenched in her roll of “little sister” even after Kate turned six and got Barbies of her own. My mom would tell you we played great together, and really we did. But very little went on in the Barbie mansion that I did not sanction. Everything that happened in Barbie world had to be properly planned out.

We (read “I”) came up with various “scenes” that would be played out with our Barbies. Often once we could, we would write these scenes down in the order to be executed. Then we would dress the dolls and set the stage. Once everything was in order we would announce “Play!” and the action would begin. If Mom called us for lunch or we were otherwise interrupted we would shout “Pause!” like on a tape recorder to hold the scene. If we didn’t like the way things went or came up with something else we would use “rewind” or “fast forward” to get the Barbies doing what we wanted. We played like this for YEARS.

I can’t wait to play Barbies with my kids. I know it will be hard for me not to become the Barbie Tyrant again; but I will do my best to fill the role that my own mother did when Kate and I (and sometimes Zach with his Pilot Ken or Ernie doll) played Barbies. Mom was the mistress of braiding Barbie’s hair and helping them into their all too often far too tight clothes. Mom had the BEST system for getting those tube dresses on. She would wrap Barbie in wax paper and then pull the dress over it and finally peal the wax paper out. I can remember her doing it over and over with this one particular shiny silver tube dress that had a maroon skirt you could put over it to send Barbie to the ball.


Anyway, I wonder if they make a doula Barbie? What about midwife Barbie? Probably not, huh? You know they make Doctor Barbie and Ken. But the two of them are ALWAYS pediatric doctors. I mean what other kind of Doctor would a nice little girl want her Barbie to be? Duh! Oh well, at least Barbie wants to be SOMETHING. The only thing the Btatz dolls seem to aspire to is being a slut. My question is, when you played with Barbies did you have the make-out? What about sex? I think our Barbies even got freaky once or twice once we got a little older? Did yours?