the subway is a rollercoaster that takes you to work.

First Things:
DAVID in all caps looks like an upside down word.
My inner clock is messed up. I feel like a really long time ago.
I like watching things blow up.
The other day I was talking to a guy who said he was smart, but then qualified it by saying he read some article that said smart people are less happy than dumb people. I could just tell the whole time he was trying to compliment me to cover for letting the cat out of the bag that he is some kind of genius. I thought that was kind of a weird thing for him to even bring up. Because I don't care that you're depressed, you just called me dumb to my face.

I am not posting as much since I have no home computer. OK, I sort of have one, it's broken though, so I have to shine a flashlight on the screen to see anything, and then just barely, and it's hard to find the cursor or watch videos. It works for the basic things, but it's pretty humiliating. Being this kind of poor is weird? But I guess it will give me character and shiny hair and make boys like me.
I have to buy a computer though because I have got something on my burners. A SOUP OF CREATIVENESS. ON MY BURNERS.

I am currently at work at it's the worst. For some reason Jeopardy is the hardest thing I've ever written. Though it's possible my editor just bites.
I finished this survey at 9! and he is still taking his sweet time giving me edits! IT'S 2AM.

Last thing: Writing trivia questions about a trivia show is the definition of something so stupid I don't even know.

I am just not the kind of person who can get away with being a dick.

Dear Future self,
I hope this finds you well.
I have more hopes.
I hope, by the time you get this, you'll have cleaned up the bedroom and paid those bills you've been putting off. I hope you've been ok to just eat and not be a crazy person. I hope you've been more normal in certain ways and less normal in others.
And the laughing thing, I hope you live there like I do.
I hope you are doing something in exchange for money that makes you happy and feel fulfilled. I hope you are doing things for other people who need help, and that you can speak French and Spanish.
I hope you are going places that you want to go to, like Norway and Alaska and The Cloisters.
I hope you are spending time with people who are cool and support you and love you and who are totally into you loving them back, whole hog.
I hope cats are still cute in your time! Because, jeez!
I hope your body is cool and moves nicely and that you are ok with it.
I hope those things I am worried about turn out to not be a big deal in your time.
Things are ok here, I just hope things get even better by the time you happen.

ok, anyway. If you ever find a a mode of transport to come visit the past, let me know. We could make toms of money. Otherwise, I'll see ya when I see ya.
love,
past self

Almost 100% of the time I am attracted to someone, that someone is someone to whom I I should not be attracted. Alas.

Bro, I'm sleep!

Last night I worked on a NASCAR race at Talladega, and then Rupaul's Drag Race. One was all "He was up in his bumper" and "he pulled out fast", and then the other one was a drag competition. LOLZ.

My biological clock is completely farked. After more than a year of staying up until 3am and then sleeping until I am done, when I try to get up at a specific time, it is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's a ridiculous thing to complain about, I guess, but in my dreams I'd be getting my work outs in the early morning before work. Pipedreamtown.

I currently have too many jobs.
I am trying to quit my cleaning job, but I don't have the heart. I tried to prepare them for a transition, so that I can work full time during the day and they can work with one of my unemployed friends. I prepared them, with the occasional mention. Then an official email, and a list of friends who need the dough. Instead, they want me to come on weekends, or every other Saturday, and work 10 hours if that's what it takes.
I also have this TV workjob which, while lonely as hell at times like this, is not the worst thing I've ever had to do. I just wish it wasn't at night when I am trying to do shows and rehearsals and classes and see movies and drink Dos Equis with single men at an outdoor cafe.

I love darkroastedblend

smush21 @snowak you are quite possibly the funniest female I've ever had the pleasure if watching on stage. Thanks for being awesome.

just want to enjoy this again at some later date. nothing to see here. :)

so, guys!
I guess I am back to posting more than 140 characters of tipsy comments . I like it.
Today I taught the improvs to a tight groups of promising peeps, had a tuna melt, ran to a show. Went to the boring bar, then another bar, attempted heading to a third location, but when a guy you're with voms in 2 consecutive cabs, you have to let it go. I can party, you guys, but bodies need tending to.

I just ate a whole jar of salsa I made a few days ago. it's like, 10 calories so whatever and also it's fine so don't worry about it.

Ok, so whatever. I missed this and didn't realize it. so here is what I should have done in January.
Some of this stuff might apply for 2010, because my mind is going. Whatever.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
remained unemployed for almost the entire year, except for the last week, when I got a job watching TV.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I lost 30 pounds!
and yes-my resolutions this year are as follows:
lose 50 more
work out 5x a week
pay off my debt
feel good about myself
do a job that is a good one that I like and am good at.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
MY BROBRO had a peach named Ruby! she is THE BOMB!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
We lost a family friend in flight 3407, and my cousins father in law. Not close close, though, but it is still sad.

5. What countries did you visit?
Toronotville, Canadatown

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
I am sooo ready for love. Seriously. So joyful and crazy and like, not desperate, just full of like, i don't know. Passion? I feel like a goddess sometimes and it would be so cool to share it all over somebody. So yeah, that.
And upper arms that don't make me ashamed.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I grew up a lot, I think.

9. What was your biggest failure?
No sex for the calendar year. (possible win)

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
. . . no. Weird.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I got some on-sale asics at the mall back home. they have served me well.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
This answer will always be "my friends", because they are better than anything I could ask for. But also my parents have helped me out financially this year which has been like a blessing from the Big Man himself.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I mean, this is a dumb question. Because I will not be honest here.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Where it was supposed to.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Baldwins, fixing my body.

16. A quick mix that will always remind you of 2008?
Phoenix, Lisztomania
Mat and Kim, Daylight
single ladies
all Bill Withers songs

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier by a mile
b) thinner or fatter? thinner
c) richer or poorer? FLAT BROKE.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Career minded stuff.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
panic attacks.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Spent is with my sister mostly butin Buffalo with family. Best, per usual.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
singing an impromptu 90's medley with the greatest people ever at the greatest party of my life.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
dipped my toe.

23. How many one-night stands?
sex-free.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Buffy again, and Glee

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
commuters and gum-chewers.

26. What was the best book you read?
Day of the Triffids

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJKythlXAIY
(technically 2010, but who is counting? oh, you? ok.)

28. What did you want and get?
A whole mess of time off, a little better at teaching hopefully, perspective.

29. What did you want and not get?
an agent, my own computer.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Paranormal Activity, Time Crimes

31. What did you do on your birthday?
Vomited. Oh.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I don't know? Maybe a vacation? I spent a lot of 2009 in a panic attack, so maybe not doing that would have improved my quality of life.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
"Does this hoodie go with everything? because I am a 12-year-old boy."

34. What kept you sane?
Kittens, improv, tweeters, working out and sleeping.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Oh funny! This used to be my bag and now not at ALL.
Though, Christina Hendricks. while I am not really that gay at all, I would. for that.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health Care reform! YES PLEASE SAYS MY LACK OF A REAL JOB AND VESTED INTEREST IN LIVING

37. Who did you miss?
Outgrabes, bastart, mikegarvey

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Campbell, Siddell, Shepherd. My students.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009
Happiness is a choice.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
from 'third planet'
"your heart felt good
it was dripping pitch and made of wood,
and your hands and knees
felt cold and wet on the grass beneath."

littles, lots and bunches.

Sorry I haven't been posting at all. I haven't had a hell of a lot to say. On easter my sister's friend asked " what's new, what are you doing?" and I said "you know, just being me, full time." and man did I get a look. It's obnoxious, but also true. I don't do much. I've been coaching and teaching and therapizing and working out at the gym, but all of that is boring. I've made some new friends, which I like, I think that is cool. I lost the 10 pounds I gained over Christmas. That's cool. I am worried about money, a little, but not bunches. I talk to the cats a lot. A lot. I have a twitter that I update a lot (@snowak) I've taken to wearing skirts and dresses. I have shows coming up. My cousin is getting married this weekend. I'm still pretty single, and pretty ok with it. Life is pretty good actually, at the moment. I think I am a little afraid to say anything, for fear of screwing it up.

the nice lady at Sarkis dot com had this to say:

So here are a few questions for Sarah. If you could be offered your dream job, what would it be? How did you meet Mike? Have you found anything close to the deliciousness that is a Buffalo wing in your current city?

Nice to meet you!

Dream job-I think I would have to have something to do with performance, either on stage or on tv or in movies or something. Nothing feels as good as rehearsing for a show, getting it ready, putting it up, getting laughs. I do like writing, but it doesn't do the things to me that joking around in front of people does. I'd also like to be a mom, but, you know. We'll see.

I met Mike at Canisius College. Or as my dad called it "Ca-sneezy-us". My boyfriend at the time was all up in the theater department and I never liked hanging out at my school, so i infiltrated the little theater circle of fun and now they can't get rid of me.

Just this past week I had wings twice, weirdly. Once at the place called Bonnie's in Brooklyn, and they were pretty excellent. The sauce was perfect. Then I had them at a restaurant called Houndstooth when I was out with my students. They were really crispy, and hot! So yeah, pretty good. I mean, I'll never have a La Nova barbeque wing anywhere but La Nova. That's pretty true, as far as true things go.

Good questions! yay!

twin elms press

Today we are talking about the blog below us on the Royal Toybox blogroll, and we ask that blogger a question.
Unfortunately, I am in NYC full time and I tend to miss out on meeting the people in ya lives, so I am not certain who Twin Elms is. My guess, based on clues I got skimming the blog, are that it might be Garvey's friend Nick Hoffmann? Maybe?
Other things, from scanning the blog-
He is witty! He likes the fall-thumbs way up there, my friend. This is a funny entry! Hope we can meet one day!

Ok, so here is my question, twin elms press:
Please tell me 3-5 simple things you truly enjoy, that maybe other people don't.

That's more of a demand. Enjoy!

Today I was internet chatting with a guy I might have met on a dating website or not, who remembers? And my profile that I might have or not was like "i really enjoy escalators" because I do and he was like, "we should go ride escalators sometime." and I was like, "Yeah! I'd like to find a big one and go up and down."

Sarah Nowak, New York City, single.

Are 2 days happening at a time and I don't know it? I feel like every time I post there are two more topics waiting to be posted.

anyway, who would play me in a movie? erm, me? if that were not allowed, robot-me.
Who would play Garvey in a movie? Three words: Dame, Judy, and Dench.

My first home away from home was this 5 bedroom house in Riverside with some guys from school. I moved in with them having barely known them at all, and that was a bad idea. It was the reason I dropped out of school, lost my two best friends from high school, lost 40 pounds (that doesn't sound bad, but it's generally a symptom of a bad living environment if you aren't actually trying) and moved back in with my parents. It was pretty bad, and I should have thought it over before diving in. My apartments have been up and down since then, with every other place getting better, then worse. I am currently in a good place, having learned my lesson about taking your time and living with someone you know and not just a bunch of horny guys from the theater department.

day 5

today I am supposed to do one of those picture things where you upload a pic and they tell you who you resemle in the world of popular culture, but I don't feel like finding a pic of myself and downloading and then uploading, so just pretend there is a little graphic here with a picture of me, Rosie O'Donnell and Janet Reno.

Last night I did karaoke, and it was fun. I did Brian Wilson, which no one in the group knew, which was sad. I still love that song. I also did Don't Fear the Reaper, which is the worst karaoke song ever, but the best Rock Band song ever, so. Anyway.

Random observation-I watched a little of that Love Doctor show on VH1 where the guy tells the girls why no one loves them and how they should act to catch a man, and he made them walk in front of his friends and then his friends "evaluated them" in the shallowest terms possible, like: "totally slutty" "She looked tore up and divorced" "She was like shamu". Yeah, that's awesome, what can I fundamentally change about myself to impress those guys, host-of-show? I want in. I want to have babies with your shallow misogyny.

day three-(i missed somehow) How to talk to someone Awkward

ok, so i guess i missed a whole day. crazy.

day 3 is about teaching you guys something I know. I will do my best.

So, the past few weeks, months, and years I've been lucky enough to meet a lot of new people, some of those people have been socially awkward, but I have still wanted to include them in the party/pub crawl/karaoke event/ waiting for a show to start conversation. I find that people who aren't necessarily the life of the party and "on" all the time are some of the best, most interesting friends I've made.
That said, there are a thousand people I know who could write books on this, but I will tell you what I know. Here are some ways to make new friends/increase your circle of convo/make things less awkward:

1-use your shoulder
a lot of times, if you are having fun taking to your close friends, someone interesting may approach your circle but be too uncomfortable to just but in to the conversation. I say try to notice these people, and then just slide your shoulder back to let them in to the conversation. Body language is important! DON'T call attention to them right away. Just let them in and let them listen for a few minutes, so that they can get a gauge of what you are talking about and how they can contribute.

2-use eye contact
when you are talking, you can include people in the conversation just by looking at them in the eye, it's not prompting them to respond if they aren't ready, but it does give them an in to respond if they are ready to say something.

3-nod, use your eyes when they talk at you
be positive! reinforce it! Don't be afraid to dog them, with love. People feel way more "in" if you make a gentle jab. Avoiding hurting someone's feelings sometimes makes them feel like more of an outsider.

4. ask questions
have a follow up or two when they talk, ask them about themselves. try to figure ut what they are into, ask them about that. People like to talk about their passions, and their favorites. It's good business, whenever a convo gets beat, to just poll people about their favorite crap. I have a tendency to make everything about me, and I am aware of it (jeeeeeez guys) so I make sure I make it as much about the other person as I can before my ego takes the wheel and I'm all "blah blah".

5. alcohol is a social lubricant
start slow, don't go crazy.

6. be ok with calling it out
from time to time the conversation will get weird, sometimes when you are talking to a group including one or more socially awkward persons, or when things get oddly sexual, or the topic is a little beat, let it be ok to just say "Oh, hey , I've got a new topic, so we don't have to talk about that anymore." no need to point fingers at who made things weird, but if it's obvious, just say "Well, it was Desiree's turn to make things weird tonight." (see above, re: gentle jab) Because come on, we've ALL been there, multiple times, so help a muthertrucker out.

Always: use your better judgment. If you feel like someone is going to edge into your convo to ask for money, or it's someone who puts the hairs on the back of your neck up, listen to that and freeze em out. Taking control of the conversation back from a crazy person is for another post, but yeah, always know that you don't have to be THAT nice, if someone is just crazy, super drunk, weird, or has some kind of agenda, you can be rude to that person. Life is too short.

put me on your team

I think today on bufblopofo we are supposed to talk about something we are good at/proud of, right?

argh.

ok, so all of my false starts at this were bad back-handed compliments to myself (captain Incapable of Losing Weight! Master of finding low objects with my shins!)
but I realize one of my most proud moments isn't that embarrassing, so I'll share.

I am super-good at being in haunted houses. I don't mean houses that are super really haunted, I mean like, a fake crazy haunted house. One of my few experiences with them, I was on Clifton Hill with my boyfriend at the time and several small strangers, and as we went though it was . . . . kind of a freak fest. It was like, ACTUALLY scary, but I got CRAZY protective, and I got everyone behind me and walked through, and I didn't let anything bother me. Seeing other people being scared made me strong, and I just sort of pushed through, rather than letting it effect me at all. I am proud of that. A few years ago I was in Scotland and my friends let me force them to go on a ghost walk, which was the goofiest gooftown (think aboot it!!!) but at the end there was a jump-scare, and instead of pissing myself, I pushed my friends behind me and got REALLY aggressive. I am just proud of my visceral reactions to frightening things, I guess, is my point. I'll take the hit for you.

bufblopofo

ok, so for those of you NYers who don't know why I am posting all of the sudden, once a year a circle of friends from buffalo (buf) do a daily blog (blo) post (po) for one fortnight (fo) and then you get bufblopofo. Sort of like nanowrimo, but instead of just making you feel inadequate for not completing a near impossible task, your google reader fills up with delicious gifts.

ok, on to day two's topic-

best meal, and who it with?

best meal-mrrook.

appetizers would be stuffed banana peppers, and some sort of brie and bread combo.
entrees would be . .geez louise. this is hard! i think i have to go with a perfect filet mignon with bleu cheese, side of bacon whipped potatoes, and yucca. yes, yucca. (though, that beef on weck haunts me. HAUNTS ME.)
dessert-grilled pineapple
to drink-an ice cold lindemann's framboise. Several of them. Or, Grotten beer, if we're really talking perfect world.
also, this meal would take place in Edinburgh Scotland. the guest list is secret! haha!

bufblopofo

ok, so i am 2, 3 days behind? of course. My computer died and my new (used) lovely is having trouble adjusting to my internet for some reason. growing pains. anyway, as i tap this off before i head off to other less interesting things, i will complete my blogpost for today, and then later if i have more time and more bars up in the left hand corner of the screen, i will catch up.

what three important things are going on with you?

1. jobless!
my family of four children is 75% laid off, which is at times awesome, as this is the kind of life a person like me is meant to lead, and at other times really scary, since maybe when my unemployment runs out i will not find another job and fall into chaos and squalor. its all very exciting.

2. careery stuff
i am helping write a script, i'm in a music improv group, a regular and increasingly awesome improv group, and we are remounting the rock show i did before, which is so much more fun this time around, and it was fun last time too.

3. cooking/eating
i've been cooking at home a lot more and eating much healthier. i am trying to keep my calories in a healthy, weightlossy range. its not super easy but i am sticking to it. Except for this weekend. i was homesick and my friend pete took me to Bonnies in brooklyn for wings and a beef on weck, which tasted like heaven and HAUNTS ME. I am also working out 5x a week, but that isn't showing up anywhere but in my soreness. whatevs. we press on.

battery dying. more later!

40% of the time your radio is on a classical station it just sounds like it's off. Am I wrong?

gearing up for boplobomomoflo*

*the blogging fortnight.

Ok, sorry, so, I haven't written anything here.
Basically, its like, my life is like: I wake up late, eff around, eat an egg sandwich, watch dvr, work out, shower and by then the sun has gone down and I have to go do some kind of rehearsal/class/show combo. I've been having a little too much fun, and I think I need to detox or at least manage this lifestyle a little better. I am actually a little tired of TV. Though, there is no way, even at this pace, that I will ever feel "well-rested". Well-rested is not a thing that exists, you guys. I've tried.

Interesting things-I saw Christmas on Mars Friday night. That movie was kind of oddly amazing. It was like a wonderful terrible student film with cardboard sets and pretentious writing and bad acting and I loved it. If the props didn't look like they came from the dollar store I wouldn't have liked it as much. I can't recommend it, but I will say I really enjoyed it, and if it plays where you live, you could do worse things than go see it. Also, before we went to the movie we hung out at a bar that was playing old OLD Gamera movies in the back and I realized that I really REALLY like old Gamera movies. Destroy All Planets! Wonderful. I have horrible taste.

Also! On Thursday, a guy I "met" over the internet about 6 years ago (because I liked his band and he liked my website so we became friends) came in to NY for a few nights and we actually had a few beers together. It was super nice. I spent all of 2003 listening to his album Robots from the Graveyard. It was fun and not at all creepy like the way I always imagine meeting people from the internet might.

bloodeye

I woke up last week with a burst blood vessel in my eye, and at first I was like "omg I am dying" but then it turns out that it can just happen for no reason, and I was ok. Then I started liking it. Now it's going away, and I kind of miss it. Tattoos are boring for you.

I am hung over, hungry, a little depressed and watching Mirrors. Worst flavor combination since peanut butter and eel.

I spent the day with my mom today. I was supposed to go do karaoke with my awesome amazing level one students tonight, but my moms fell on the sidewalk today which is like awesome. Great. She hurt her leg a little and didn't want to going to the city, and I wasn't super into just leaving her. Like, of course you don't leave your mom on behalf of good times. But sometimes she's like "go", but I didn't. also I am exhausted because at 6:30am she was like "I'm up for the day." So, so was I. Zees!

Also, we all sort of live in fear and loathing of my mom falling, because of her physical make up, she isn't really able to brace herself, and her balance is non-existant, so when she goes down she goes down hard and it's fucking scary. She's fine, and of course it's embarrassing for her, and I never want to be a dick about it, but we all spend all of our time reaching out for her and looking for things she could trip on and holding her hand and the one fucking minute I was like "Oh, she's doing great on her own, actually." she eats concrete. And the random weird street dude is all "oh my God." And I'm all "we can't tell dad." and mom's all "I know."

Dear St. Cupid,

One who won't jerk me around.

let us pray.

Yesterday I was on the treadmill and the trainer is like going through the motions and like "you wanna increase your speed to get your heart rate up or you can just do incline" and then he said "you can keep it up and train for a marathon, maybe make that a goal . . . would you like that?" Who knew a dude named Cory with a ponytail and an unhealthy mistrust of doctors could reach into your heart and touch a tender dream?

keeping track of yourself is expensive

I joined my local gym yesterday because even though I have worked hard most days and lost a few pounds, I got sidetracked this month by getting sick and then getting laid off. Strangely, being at work was really the best way for me to manage what I ate. I brought fruit and whole grain bread and kept it in the fridge, logged everything I ate, drank tons of awesome water from the cooler which kept it cool. But now I am home all day, which is amazing, but also it is harder to not just eat fake potatoes with cheese over and over. Or make myself a giant healthy omelet, forget that I did that and make myself a second breakfast. With cheese and crackers for elevensies. Whatever. The point is, I joined the gym because apparently I make too much money. I'm going to try to go a bunch.

This is my second full week unemployed. Though, today is my first full day of not having a reason to go into the city. I am starting to get that feeling of not knowing what day it is, so I am going to get a calendar. Good idea, Sarah.

Also, my immensely immensely talented friend Scott has a cartoon in Vice Magazine. I can't believe I used to read Vice at my old desk job back in Buffalo. The American Apparel ads alone are NSFL.

is this burning, an eternal flaaaaaame

Saturday night and I am home bloggin'. Righteous. Last night I went to a huge going away party for some friends who are breaking my heart by moving to LA to become famous. Boo-urns. I can never figure out why I go to Ace bar all pumped up to play skee-ball when whenever I go it's always to packed to move.

Today I got up late and screwed around, made myself a large breakfast of vegetables and eggs, protein waffles and cherries. It were damn good, you all. Then I checked my email to see when my sister in law's adult relationship-enhancing tools, creams, lotions and books* party started, and it turns out it had started already. Whoops. It was one of those early all day parties. I got there only and hour and a half late, bought some stuff NOTHING GROSS YOU GUYS COME ON. Then we all played Rock Band until I was too tired. It was a truly magical day.

Kristen posted this on our private messageboard. Please, Please, read a few of the 800 comments on this recipe.

*passion party. they are great. really relationship-positive and body positive and I don't have to explain myself to you people.

"Sid Viscous! rocked the house"

Peanut, reacting to Ronnie James Dio's "Holy Diver".

Laid off:day one

I got up at 8:45, effed around, didn't clean, had a long chat with the cats, went to dunkin donuts for an egg white flat, therapy, took myself out to dinner, had class, went for a beers with class, now I am internetting late at night on a weeknight. I have a good few weeks before I need to start looking for something, so I am going to take some time and eff around. I've had the same job since I moved here, and I do have the ability right now to do a little bit of nothing for a while, so I am going to take this quick break before, quite possibly, spending the rest of my good years chained to a desk. I'm not going to go learning a new language or paint the walls in here, but I am going to take a yoga class, see some movies with my laid-off friends and maybe take myself to a museum for once. There is a whole world out there.



(Corrections;retractions
In my last post I was like "I'll be joining a really strong established team, which will be different." I totally didn't meant to say FD wasn't strong or establihsed, I meant more like I'll be joining a team which will be different and also they are strong and established. Anyway. I had my first show with them on Wednesday and it was good. Man, I've been through a lot in the past week.)

I went to Charleston last weekend. I took some pics, to upload tomorrow. I love being in a car for too long, I love road food, not sleeping and I love hour nine when at least one dude is trying to sleep while the rest of us bleat like sheep to Stevie Nicks songs, which is at that moment the funniest thing we have ever heard. It's also kind of wonderful to be in a weird kind of love with your friends. Not an "I'm unna kiss you so get ready" way but like, you can look across the parking lot at a dude scratchin his belly and think "That guy is great. I really love everything about him. It make s me happy just knowing these people." We all spend time exploring our day-to-day rage, but it's nice to take a moment and get sappy. Explore your love a little. Maybe 12 hours in the car is too long and effects my brains, but it's nice to really sit back and enjoy your friends for who they are every minute, just scratchin and slappin their bellies at some gas station in Virginia.

Fancy Dragon's last show ever is tomorrow night. It's a bit of a shock, not a surprise since we kind of knew it was coming, but I've been rehearsing and performing with the same people twice a week for over three years, and enjoying it so much. I don't know how to feel. I know change is the only constant, right? I'll be joining a really strong established team, which will be different. I haven't been the new girl in class in a long time. Changin'.

(Buffalonians-pick up the latest copy of Greenfern Magazine, I have a lil short story up in there.)

2008-not so great~!

I think 2004 was probably my favorite year, and 2008 is like one of my least favorite. I was not in top form. Some good things happened, I am not going to pretend they didn't, but the first half of 2008, until maybe August, was a pile of no thank you. I moved into a horrible living situation that I hated, family stuff happened, I was depressed! So depressed! I got myself together eventually, which isn't always fun, but that was what 2008 was about. Figuring out what I want from myself and from other people and from my life and getting messy and doing some hard work. It's all good. Gettin' healthy. I think it's working. It's like a process, like it's like always happening, right? like, so deep. Srsly.

I also had a boatload of fun this year. I went to Philly and Baltimore with my friends Sid Viscous! and performed and stayed in hotels and partied like a superstar and lived and loved and did jokes. I went to Providence with Team Fernandez and also had an amazing time, partying with sid! some more. I moved, twice, but I am finally in a homey home that is truly mine with a person I am really happy living with, and two sweet cats who are both on my shins and feet right now. I did sketch shows that were so much hard work and more rewarding than I thought they could have been. I met some people, got closer to people I already knew, had some fun. I didn't go out as much this year, but when I did some non-improv social stuff it was always a blast (chrades! Banangram! Other things!). I wrote and sang a song in front of people, which is a memory I will treasure.


1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Went to therapy! Holy crap you guys! It's so hard! But if you need it, it so helps!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember exactly what they were last year. I think something about keeping my living situation clean and organized and getting my finances in order. I kept both of those. The weight loss thing never kicked in. That's what I am reserving 2008 for. nothing getting in the way, lady. I've had a really good time, but that is all over now.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
See posts below!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
thank the whole universe and everything in it, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
Not this year, but the day I go across the ocean again is coming. I can feel it.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I have everything I need. I would love to be fit, so that is my goal. But outside of me, physically, I couldn't ask for more.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Dec 4, first level one class. I darn near puked.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding happiness, saving some cash, I guess? I unno. some other year I'll have something good to write here.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Making a vow to my gyn that I'd lose weight and then seeing her months later 11 pounds heavier. 11!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
The February Flu was legendary.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I got my sister a GC to a restaurant for xmas, not knowing that the place had changed ownership recently, and when she went to have dinner there she realized it was the same place she and her husband went on their first date. Cool!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Everyone who gave birth or planned a wedding. Blesh yas.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Eh. I unno.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, cheese.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I gave up on falling in love. What a fucking relief!

16. A quick mix that will always remind you of 2008?
The National "Fake Empire" and "Slow Show"
Beruit "postcards from Italy"
Alicia Keys "No one"
Adele "Chasing Pavements"
MGMT "Waiting to Pretend'
the theme song to NCIS, and Peggle


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? more content
b) thinner or fatter? fatter!
c) richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
exercise, spending normal downtime with friends

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Drinking. Beer.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
being awesome

21. How will you be spending New Years?
house party. so dope.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No thanks!


23. How many one-night stands?
fewer than 4, more than 1.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Wire in the Blood

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope!

26. What was the best book you read?
A tree Grows in Brooklyn, hands down!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Explosions in the Sky
Beruit
the National


28. What did you want and get?
kitties, closure, a dvr of my very own!

29. What did you want and not get?
I won NOTHING at the Pit award ceremony! BULLSHIT.
;)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Erm.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
Steak, dranks, fun.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being a little nicer to myself

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
pajama pants

34. What kept you sane?
google reader, gchat, my couch

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Meh.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
November 4th, I was stirred AND SHAKEN!!!! lolololol just serious.

37. Who did you miss?
I have some friends I haven't seen in forever. you know who you are!!!

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Queeftz

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Going to bed early is a good idea


40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Turn the light out say goodnight
no thinking for a little while
lets not try to figure out everything at once