the subway is a rollercoaster that takes you to work.

From what I've read, Atlanta seems to have a decent comedy scene. Can I say that Janeane Garofalo came to UB last October? Good, because that is our comedy scene. The comedy community in Buffalo is non-existent. You can't swing a dead cat in Buffalo without hitting a comedian, but you'd have to swing it in a really small room with only six people in it. (and you know how I love to swing it in a small room.) Now that there's no more eclectic company, there's nothing funny in this city at all. That's so fucking sad. That's it, I'm going to be the shit starter. I've already got another guy who isn't busy this fall and a few ideas, I even have a cheap space. Half the work is done.
Let it begin with me!!!!!

(And let it begin tomorrow, after dinner.)

This list is not all-inclusive.
Likes:
calling individual people "you guys"
opening a new bar of soap
cold ceramic tile floors
bare legs on jersey sheets
having 'you can have it all' stuck in my head
untying knots
champange jams
hearing and laughing at funny things and thinking up more funny things and laughing at them
Steven Page's voice
the audio on live comedy shows recorded with handheld cameras
when the subway finally shows up
the term "fucknutty"
when good people get together and put on a show

I already regret that last post.
bob and david will be on my steps when I get home tonight.
Great Happiness!

My brother and I are having a birthday party at my parent's house on Sunday. From 2-6, nice and tame. Then some of us are going to see Sloan downtown. Yee.

I'm down to eating fruit, vegetables and broth. Not that it will make a difference. In just two weeks I've somehow put on what feels like ten pounds. I'm perpetually self-conscious about my tummy and about what people think when they see me eating. I know it's what's inside that counts, but tell that to the overweight lady jogging down the street when a car full of abercrombie assholes give her some suggestions on her appearance. They don't care how kind and funny she is. It fucking pains me to think about it. It breaks my heart. I'm not usually a freakshow about my appearance, but it's too much to live with lately. I really don't talk about it in reallife nearly as much as I talk about it here. It would just be easier if it was something I didn't have to think about. I wish I was a guy.
I'm such a hypocrite. I'm always the one to say, "don't diet out of shame! Do it out of love for yourself!!"
Shallow loser, I.

my brother sent me the IQ test as well. I'm a 131. I think they might just be telling everyone that.

I went to see Comedy of Errors last night. It was one of those weird things where we went with a set of friends and decided to bring dinner, but then other friends were there that I wanted to sit with, and there wasn't nearly enough for everybody. So I sat there all rude eating pizza, and I offered some, but, you know . . .wonky.

Oh my. It most certainly was not for the new Jim Carrey movie. I walk in and the guy has the best amvets furniture deptartment has to offer, sheets on the windows instead of curtains and way too many candles. At least I wasn't intimidated. He had a black puppy. (whose name actually changed from "Sam" to "Stuart" in the course of fifteen minutes. Shady.)
He was a nice guy all around, said we gave the best reading he had seen so far, that we were guaranteed speaking parts, and could we help the less experienced actors? Way to ego-stroke. At least it wasn't about vampires. He's an author who is turning one of his novellas into a feature length film. The sides we read weren't really awful and it sounded like he had some money to put into it.
And honestly, it's not like I'm doing anything else.

I keep finding myself saying stupid things and I can't stop myself until it's too late.
I am incapable of complete thoughts and I haven't been funny in about a month.
I blame paint fumes.

On a lighter note, the little thingy on my boob is not life-threatening. And I bought the Mr. Show DVD. I jump on no bandwagons here! I haven't had hbo since I lived with my parents (take that, rigas!), so I've never seen an episode, but based on how much I love them individually, I feel I will really like the show enough to enjoy owning two full seasons on DVD. What?

Lately I've been finding exclamation points hilarious. Hilarious!

I have an audition tonight for a "feature film" being shot in the area. The guy sounded really skeevy on the phone. I guarantee the film is about vampires. If it's shooting in Buffalo it's about vampires.
Unless it's Buffalo 66, which was directed by a vampire.
I see it as an opportunity to audition for new people. It's an opportunity to learn about auditioning, and learning about taking risks and opening myself to . . . new opportunities.

whatever. I'm just hoping it's for the new Jim Carrey movie.

I'm spiritual Madonna, who are you? Madonna Quiz by Turi.

buh. sneh.

Ok, go here. You don't have to read my article, just go to the hall of brains and try to answer the questions. Dave gets all pants-wetty when people he doesn't know read the the site.
Is p funny.

my heart's running round like a chicken with his head cut off
all around the barnyard falling in and out of love
poor thing's blind as a bat gettin up fallin down getting up
who'd fall in love with a chicken with his head cut off?

it ain't pretty.

nine trips to the bathroom and it's only 2:30!!! Yay!!!!!!!

The living room turned out so friggin beautiful. There are no words.

If no one buys me their DVD for my birthday, I am going to buy it myself. That's a promise. Stupid premium channels.

friday 5
1. Where were you born? Buffalo, new york- sisters of charity hospital

2. If you still live there, where would you rather move to? If you don't live there, do you want to move back? Why or why not? I still live here. If here were a better place to live, with better opportunities, I would like to stay. I would rather move to someplace like New York, where there seems to be more theatre and more going on in general. Or Hawaii. mmmm-poi.

3. Where in the world do you feel the safest? Nowhere.

4. Do you feel you are well-traveled? Not even remotely. the farthest south I've been is Missouri, farthest west I've been? Indianapolis. I've never left the continent. I want to go to Peru before I die.

5. Where is the most interesting place you've been? Does a Star Wars convention count as a "place"? Other than the mockery from friends and strangers alike, it was a truly unique experience. I liked a lot of it and recommend it to all. It was in Indianapolis, which is a weird city. There are no traffic jams, it's really clean, downtown is empty. It's like a clean, well-run version of Buffalo.

happy belated birthday, man. can I get a yikes?

My birthday's coming soon to an august 6th near you. My wish? Thai food and some flowers. I'm easy to please.
I don't want to go to the doctor. I know it's just a stupid little bump that is easily removed and blah blah blah. It's just embarassing and intimidating. Plus, Todd has to drive me, which I'm sure he's thrilled about. I'm angsty all around.

Mmmmm- noodles.

If you take all of the furniture out of my living room, there is absolutely no place in the entire apartment to put your feet. Even if you put the carpet, the loveseat and the armchair on the curb, it still takes fifteen minutes* to get from the refrigerator to the sink. Threre's a papasan half in my computer room and half in the kitchen that needs to be set on fire, or given to Todd's sister. Even if we finish painting tonight, we have to buy a new carpet before we can move the television back. And then we're going to be sitting on camp chairs until we can afford a couch.
Yay. Outdoorsy.


*exaggeration.

participation positives+

-the summer is all mine to do with as I please.
-I made some really good friends so far this summer.
-I can hang out with Greg for another week before he goes back to new york.
-Tracey is staying until September at least!
-I smell good, but I'm not sure why.
-the new shoes rule. they are low slung Doc Maarten-looking Mary Janes.
-when I get home the living room will be primed. by thursday it will be Venetian red.

It's like camp. I spend eight weeks with the same people fighting and joking around and whining and by the end I never want to say goodbye. The cast party last night was so goofy and weepy and sweet. Everyone exchanged contact information, no one will keep in touch. People paired off. Second murderer and wardrobe assistant, Banquo and a witch. Hecate and Lady Macduff, in their own way. I tried to get something going with the Porter, to no avail*. The guy who played the first murderer proposed to the education director on stage before the show on Friday. So much life these eight weeks.

(I got stung by a golldang bee in the middle of a scene last night. Stupid little emmer- effer. I was more suprised and pissed off than hurt.)


So, what's going on?

*kidding, todd, kidding.

really need to start posting more than a grunt at a time.

hey! According to this, Cory from boing boing reads Tavie everyday. Join the all-inclusive semi-anonymous non-club type club. :P

I only have three shows left. I am so ready to not do this anymore. I am going to miss hanging out every night and the, you know, acting. I really learned a lot, but I need some rest, I need some tv. Someone said in her blog that she was at home, slightly buzzed and about to watch a movie. I was so jealous I wanted to cry.

My article isn't up yet. It's far from inspired, but it's there. I'm tired and achy.
I am wearing the world's cutest shirt which looks really unfortunate on me. It's like a peasant blouse/ baby doll dress. Forty stupid dollars and I look like an American Girl .

dry toast?

toast?

I'm really sorry, I have to get this fixed.
Instead of hanging out here getting pissed off at my ugly temlate, why not read article 2 of the constitution?

This templates looks like shit.
I need to take my boobs off and have a cop of coffee.

this template sucks. will be fixed tomorrow.

happy birthday!!!!

I changed my template, and it didn't take.

I can't wait for this to be over.

Sorry, I've bean a tad busy of late. I can't wait for this play to be over. I love all of these people and am sick of them at the same time. I've lost ten pounds and ran out of cash right before double pay day. I think I've lost my sense of humor entirely.

Speaking of which, remind me to tell you about "The Sugarpants Incident", after the hurt feelings of those involved have healed.

I did watch Blackhawk Down. I liked it, but I still don't understand Josh Hartnett. He's so skeevy.

please don't mistake me encouraging you to speak your mind with supporting harassment of people I dig, you dig?
maka sense, no?

heehee.
went to the dr. for the first time in a long time. have eczema, a stye and a cyst. I'm loveliness on a platter.

do.

ok.
Sarah is now sixteen years old! For those of you who are totally new to the world of Down Syndrome - WELCOME!
Sarah is also on the cover of the magazines In Style and Seventeen.
Sarah is Evil
Sarah is currently on tour with Champions on Ice.
Sarah is new vicar. ...
Sarah is in the swimming pool with her new eye
Sarah is a postcard !!!

My favorite was one to another blog of another sarah who did the exact same thing. ha.

My boyfriend is a perfect blend of Dan Akroyd circe the original Ghostbusters and Steve Page. That movie rules.

I always forget to do it on Fridays.
When was the last time you...
1. ...sent a handwritten letter? Last week I used office supplies to mail Kristen a note at her new apartment. That's exactly what it said. "I am using office supplies to send you a note at your new apartment. Enjoy!"

2. ...baked something from scratch or made something by hand? um, Easter? I think? I made stuffed mushrooms.
3. ...camped in a tent? Garvey Party 2000. The couple in the tent next to us had a huge domestic in which the male of the pair ended up weeping loudly for most of the night.
4. ...volunteered your time to church, school, or community? I'm getting paid about a dollar an hour to act in free outdoor theatre. Not that it counts. Before that, I did a Saturday at United Cerebal Palsy. Helpful! I always wanted to do Habitat for Humanity. Just never got round to't.
5. ...helped a stranger? I don't keep track of these things. Is this designed to make me feel bad about myself?

I feel dumb. I hate that.

One of the other witches has begun making pidgeon noises during a very quiet, intense scene. While I'm not one to judge other people's artistic choices, I think that one deserves a punch in the head.

Fridays and Saturdays are wedding night at the little "casino" by the lake next to Shakepeare Hill. The sound bleeds over. Saturday night Lady MacDuff was being strangled to "I Will Survive".