the subway is a rollercoaster that takes you to work.

Also this sweater don't quite fit.

I'm covered in crumbs. I just am. Also, this shirt I'm wearing has two big boobs sticking out of the top of it. My bad, professionalism!

So, I have this audition tomorrow where I have to do 3 minutes of me being funny. Three minutes. I've been here doing comedy for three years. That's one minute per year. You'd think I'd have at least two in my back pocket. Nopes. I make it up and forget it. I went through a mental inventory of what I could do tomorrow and came up with a character I did a year ago at a solo showcase that my brother pointed out did not result in "belly laughs". It was his polite way of saying it totes didn't hit. It's all I've got, so it will have to do. I guess I should write it down? Just so I seem prepared? Guh? Buh. I don't care too much, I just don't want to look like a butt.

I merged my blogger accounts. I am hoping against hope that this didn't screw up my layout, but trying to swtich back and forth and signing out of gmail and back in in the middle of a chat was getting annoying.

I finished Pride and Prejudice. I am going to read something else by her, because i LOVED it. Probably Sense and Sensibilty, if I know what's good for me. Or maybe Persuasion, because I've heard mixed things about it and I am up for a challenge.

This is a boring post!

More good news, I spelled guarantee correctly on the first try!

I'm going to be on a new show, yo. Neatish. And y'alls can watch it like it's tv. They're going to try to put it on tv; I can hope for but not guarantee that. I'll give you more details when it actually happens. I am really looking forward to it. Beepbop.

i am still eating it, though

My salad tastes like Kaufman's shoe department smells. This thing I say is a true thing.

Music and Lyrics was exactly as you'd expect it would be. Drinking a 32 ouncer of John Smith's Nut Brown Ale (I don't believe in forties. Holler.) made it only slightly less so.

The coffee machine, copy machine and cable in room 322 are all broken. I'm not sure how much more apologizing for something that isn't my fault I can handle before pop goes my fist.

Megan: So, Music and Lyrics, 7:40?
me: sounds good.
Megan: All that's left to do is mix up a cocktail in a nailgene bottle.

My Mid-February Resolution

I spent some time on Friday with a friend of mine who doesn't watch tv. I find that adorable, but keeping up in conversation with someone who has a decent attention span and has read a lot of books is pretty humbling for someone who was born with a remote control in her mouth. I am going to make a serious attempt to stop vegging in front of the television from now on, and if I do watch something it will most definitely be inspiring or educational or I will have to turn it off. Today, so far all I've watched is Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Good Job (inspiring for career purposes). Yesterday, it was The Color Purple and a documentary on either congress or the constitution, I'm not sure as I came in halfway and fell asleep before the end.
Anyway, I am off to a good start!

Did you ever see The Horse Whisperer?

I am the horse.

"I ain't here to fix her. I'm here to make her gentle."

Not even worth going into

I am going to see a play tonight. That is the only thing distracting me from the immeasurable pettiness of this fucking job. It will be nice to go out and do something other than see improv for a night. It will be nice to sass my hair and sass my teef and look really makey-outie for a night. La. Details to follow.

The Scepter

I was bachelorette #2 last night for a live version of the dating game at the pit. Just so you know: the animal I am most like is an owl. "because I stay up late, and I like barns." I didn't get picked, for whatever reason (shocking!) and they gave the losers each sex toys, which was a disconcerting choice. If you know me and Kat at all, you know adult novelties are not the kind of thing we'd even talk about in polite company, so being presented with one from the host in front of an audience was quite an experience. I received an attractive "piece" made of hand-blown glass. I didn't know they made such things out of glass. It's invisible, like Wonder Woman's plane. I have a feeling it will remain in its packaging to keep intact its antique appearance, and also out of fear that at an inopportune moment a confused bird may accidentally fly into it.

Happy Day of love and red sweaters.
I'm adopting an approach of cautious pessimism and eating necco hearts.

Frankenstein on my mind

I spent Saturday re-doing the soundtrack to Lady Frankenstein with some funny people in the hopes of eventually making it a show, or at least, a super fun thing to do on a Saturday.

And then on Sunday I went to see Kevin's band Electric Fiction, the first song they played was totally about Frankenstein and also: adorable. Check them out before they become totally mainstream.

In regards to my new year's resolutions-
-new bed: check
-yoga: no check, but a studio has been chosen.
-losing even a single pound has proven impossible of late. I need to regroup.
-asking out a boy/vaguely accepting offers: check and check. Though, date one of 2007 is yet to be had, I'm not complaining. It's a miracle I've gotten this far.

Sleeping in

My life is pleasantly boring right now. I hope that's cool. I've been retiring to my bed chamber around 8pm at least once a week and I like it bunches. I'm reading Pride and Prejudice. I am trying to stay hydrated. My neck hurts a little. I have no plans for tomorrow night. I'm going to see a rock and roll band on Sunday. Later today I might eat some food.
Yep. Not much going on.
Life is alright and it feels weird.

Any Way That You Want Me

I saw a guy I dated briefly last night on a date with a shorter version of me. I have no feelings regarding that. I just wish guys that I stop dating would not hang out at my regular bar on Wednesdays and also that they would disappear into the ether so that I don't have to make small talk. Or maybe he could just go up into space and not come back. OH SNAP LISA MARIE NOWAK.

Puppy Bowl Champion 2007

Let's not sleep ALL night for no reason. Fun!

I feel a million miles away from everyone I used to be close to. I wish they made a pill for that.

Oh, wait. They do. It's called a donut.

Leigh is doing better. Scary things can suck my dick.

Note to my officemate: If you type something and then ask, "does that make sense?" you are not going to get a satisfying answer from me because I AM ACROSS THE ROOM, NOT INSIDE YOUR BRAIN/IN YOUR LAP.

I give up. I am the lunch monkey from now until the end of time.

I thank god for inventing space heaters, puppies and "Transmission" by Joy Division.
Beepbeep.

Good thoughts for Leigh, please.