I dreamt of a friend of mine last night.

Quite peculiar as to why my brain singled out that one out of lots of guy friend that I had. He's average looking, has a charming smile, pleasant to be around with. I haven't talk to him for quite some time already. I won't mind to end up with someone like him.

Trying hard to remember now what's the dream is all about.

I think we went out dating somewhere and we chatted about a lot of things, lots of personal stuff that we never talk to each other. I'm sure my mind just made up stuff about him, maybe things that I would like to hear.

I don't really remember how it ended but the dream turned into something else, which is not important/related at all.

I'm still figuring out why him after all these while. Why not someone else that I'm closer with or someone that I miss. Is there any reason why it's him?

hmmmmmmmmmmm.........

Love,
me

Two weeks of total sickness and I'm finally back to normal.

The 1st week was okay, just cough and some minor cold. The 2nd week got worse out of sudden, like serious shit. I have never gotten this sick as far as I remember. The fever hit me so hard this time I can confidently said my temp could have reach 40 degree. 2 nights before it went down again.

Though it didn't stop there this time. Previous year, I would get fever and headache at the same time and recovered from both at same time. Not this year. The fever's gone but the headache chose to linger around longer. 4 sleepless nights, literally sleepless because I kept waking up every hour so the next day, the headache just gotten worse.

Now, I'm seriously bored. At least I got a lot of attention when I was sick XD hahaha

Thinking of going out but where to? and with who? hmmmmmmmm.....

Time to head out alone, again. Been awhile since I have my own outing, I suppose. Looks like must get used to it again =)


Love,
me

The irony~

U can be treated so well by someone, meet up every single week without fail, texting each other every single available minute but the feeling still die off after a while.

On contrary, u might know this one guy that u talk once every now and then, meet up for special occasion only but over time, u grow to like him more and more. He might not show his  interest in u but u have a feeling he does as well.

One is just a fling, the other is more than just friend but less than boyfriend(for now). One out of loneliness, the other is based on genuine feeling.

again, the irony~

Been sick make me 10x grumpier and emotional and dont make me start on my level of crankiness. So, trying my best to write less because I'm scared later I will regret it.

I will leave it as that.

Love,
me

Writing is a way for me to remind myself things that I purposely tried to ignore or put aside just because I can't handle it. So, u will realize that there will be some recurring theme in my post every now and then. Just like tonight.

When u treat someone well, there's no explicit law that requires him to RECIPROCATE. That's the one thing that u must never forget. People tend to forget this simple rule and thought they are entitled to the same treatment.

No, my dear. Sorry to say this but u aren't.

U spend time with him, trying your best to entertain him whenever it is convenient for both of u, make him laugh, make him happy, cheer him up when he's feeling down; those actions are all done because u either like/love/or have a crush on him.

When u are EXPECTING that he will fall all over u just like u did, u are in for a heartbreak. A really bad and shattering break. Unless he also views u in the same light, at most he will be treating u like a friend. But, don't FLINCH or get MOODY or EMO and all these nonsense shit. After all, everything starts with a friend, no? Attraction at the first sight is good but it won't last long. It's better to get to know someone without been clouded by unnecessary emotion.

If in the end it doesn't work out, take it as an EXPERIENCE that will make u grow stronger and tougher to face the next one. U tried your best already and there will be NO REGRET that gonna haunt u with "what if..". Wish him all the best because if your feeling is genuine, what's matter most is his happiness even if it isn't with u.

After all, time's running short. No regret!

Love,
me

We all eager to talk but not to listen(cue the one and only sharifah's video) XD.

We all boast to be a good listener but we are impatient to wait till someone finishes his story first before we throw in our impromptu opinion.

When we open our mouth, it's either to talk good about ourselves or bad about others.

Honesty? Truth? What's that? That's so 90's. It's the era where we spew rubbish and bullshit and make fun of others. It doesn't matter whether what we said is true or not. After all, everyone is doing it. It should be morally correct, right?

If the only voice that u ever administer in ur tiny brain is ur own, it means u never pay attention to others when they talk. U hear but u don't listen.

Or it means u talk way too much. So, zip ur mouth and SHUT UP!

If we really do put effort into listening to others, the world would have been a better place by a bit.

So, do try
to seal ur mouth and open ur ear
u will notice things that have been muffled by ur own voice.

Love,
me

If I have to say
seeing u right now
is the best thing that could happened
would u believe me?

Try as I might
it just won't go away
The thought of u
suffocating me.

Oh! The anguish
come back, come back
the old u, the one that u used to be
Selfish, much? Yes, I am.

But, no!
setting u free
unshackle u from the chain of solitary
I have succeeded and I won't throw u back
into loneliness night.

So my dear
spread your wing
soar through the sky
no longer bound to this land
u will find a place that belongs to u

Till then, take off to a bright future =)

Love,
me

Went to watch 'The Croods' few days ago. Was so bored at lab and kept checking TGV website every now and then =P


one word : FUNNY!

From the start of the movie till the end, I was laughing my ass off. and the cat/dog/hybrid animal was so so so so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttteeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apart from the funny side of it, there are few interesting points from the movie. Human fear change, either for the better or for the worse. They will stick to their comfort zone even though the other side may look nice and beautiful. They fear the risk, the uncertainty.

Don't be afraid, have no fear. Leap off the ledge and fly. Fly off to tomorrow.

Btw, one of the soundtrack for 'The Croods' was sung by Owl City together with Yuna.

If u guys have free time, hit cinema and watch it. U won't regret it =)

Love,
me

U have returned.



Why am I not surprised at all. I have a feeling that u will eventually come back to me.

A closure, maybe.

So now I have one big blue turtle and one small green turtle. Still hugging that green one to sleep nowdays.

Maybe I get the pink, orange and...black I think to make a complete set =D

Love,
me

hunky, slim, chinese, tall, short, fair, round, lean, thai, bald, spiky, raunchy, old, ang moh,  young, bear, chubby...

The list can goes on and on and on, of something we call as preference when looking for partner.

There's one unique, or weird depending on how u see it, trait that can make me attracted to someone. It is disability/illness.

Yup, what u read is correct. I find that a guy with certain disability or afflicted with illness has certain attractiveness to them. No, the feeling is not derived from pity or sympathy.

It could be due to my passion in taking care and providing for someone.

Or it's due to their ability to live a 'normal' life despite the disability that they have. The courage, the strength, the determination, the humility; none that u could find in average, healthy guy.

My weird fetish~ XD hahaha


Love,
me