Feeling fades. Memory doesn't.
Or else, why would it be so hard for us to move on after things went south?

We keep playing the same memory over and over again in our head, picturing the past and overlap it with the present, thus distorting our view bout the future. We keep thinking it will get back to the way it used to be, we *WANT* to believe that it will.

There's nothing wrong to treasure memory and keep it close to our heart, to reminiscence about it every now and then but it's utterly preposterous to grieve over it day after day after day. Crying helps to soothe ur heart but not to mend the problem.

Yes, it will never be the way it used to be but who said it can't be better? Future is not for us to know, so why u want to paint black when it's still very much untouchable? If u don't move even an inch, nothing will change.

Mending requires a bit of effort from u and a bit more from the external force. They say make urself busy, u would forget about it but it rarely work. When night comes and u are all alone, it will come and haunt u back. So how bout u try something else?

Make new memory.
The reason why u find it so hard to let go of the past because there's nothing to look forward to. If that's so, get up and discover it. Our memory storage is pretty much limited, it's not bottomless. As new memory been created, old one will start to fade ever so slightly. U don't suppress it. It's more like cropping the old one to make space for new one in ur memory.

On a happier note(yes, I'm changing topic now xP), I'm done planning for my birthday for this year. Yeah yeah, mine coming; u can get ur gift ready =P hahahahaha
Looking forward to it. Like I said, making new memory......hoping the old one will fade

Love,
me

Dunbar's number - 150

What this insignificant number means? It signifies the limit one brain has in maintaining stable relationship. In other words, that's the most number of people u be able to keep a stable and inter-relationship with, where u know how everyone relate to everyone and not just simply know their name and very vague details.

To sound a bit more scientific, this limit is imposed by the limited size of our neocortex. It was extrapolated from the neocortex size of other primates and they came to this conclusion that for us human, it ranges between 100 to 200 where 150 is the average number.

Me........I don't think my limit is even at 100. It came to my realization that I like to keep those people that I know and care enough about small, really small. As I hop from one place to another, high school to foundation to degree life, my group of friends always change with each hop.

My close friends from high school - gone
My close friends from foundation - only left one that I really keep in touch with
My close friends from degree life - I don't even make any during my degree

After I'm back here, I made new circle of friends from scratch; people that I don't have any mutual friends to begin with. Friends that I can really go crazy about and with almost similiar interest(well, other than guy xp) even though I seen them less than I used to meet my friends during my previous hops.

Frankly speaking, I don't know how long this will last. Maybe the shift will come again when I finish my master and start working. For once, I hope not. For once, I hope this circle will last for a really long time till I don't even remember when the hell I first met u guys. For once, I want certain people to remain in my life bad enough and never walk away.

First time seeing a live proposal XD

Will it happen?

Love,
me

If the wall could speak
they would sing tale of sorrow and distress
of sleepless night and dried tear

'Why must you lament bout the past' they would ask
'move on and get over it' they would say

But they do not know
nobody know

You are my sun
that brighten me up every single morning
without fail

You are my moon
to whom I seek protection
from the evil of the night

You are my sea
with gentle force
wash away all my worries

You are my star
distant at a time
but always there for me

So tell me
how can I forget you
when nobody can ever ignore
the sky and the heaven

Accept the bitter truth
that I will never possess
the universe itself

Love
me
p/s - A shoutout to u. Happy birthday dearie! I write another post soon to scrutinize u as a commemoration in reaching 30's XD hahahaa

Here comes another 361 days of uncertainty =D

Truth be told, I'm not looking forward to it. Too many insecurities, too many hiccups that I'm not sure I'm well prepared for it or not but then, that's not the purpose I'm writing this time. Just wanna do some small recap of things that matter in 2013.

Friend - Ended the year with more than I started it with; quite a surprise since I didn't really actively engage with much people. The most significant one was adding another dearie to my list, one that I'm truly care for with all my heart. You know who you are =)

Study - This one is going downhill, more like accelerating now >.< Wonder if the path will ever become smooth again

Family - I miss her. Period.

Health - Getting better. Reduced my fat percentage a lot though still in process of putting on some nice shape on my body but...I got sick quite a lot this year. Bad fever twice, inflammation in my ear, stupid STD and.......another complications that I'm treating now

Relationship - The most 'happening' part of my life for the year; L, J and Monkey. I will treasure everything. Nothing beats first love and first heartbreak. Nonetheless, u made me happy again. For that, I thank you

Myself - Become more liberal/open. Went clubbing for first time. Broke all my 'cardinal' laws. Been stupid. Bareback. Went out travel more.

That basically covers my 2013.

Resolution for 2014? Maybe next time.

Ain't he the cutest? I'm meltiiinnggg ^-^

Love,
me