I'm extremely irritated right now!
If you are not okay with it from the beginning, just said so. There's no need to try to act like everything's fine when you are such a terrible actor. I don't expect that we can remain the way we are and you don't have to.
At most I ask, don't be such a temperamental bitch. If you don't like it, say it. I will just stay far far away from you. Don't go all "I have come to term with my ego" facade when the next moment, you are throwing tantrum like a 4-year old kid.
Have I done anything wrong? No. I don't lie to you at all about anything. You don't bother to ask, I don't bother to tell. I told you already from beginning to stop waiting for me because I know this is what gonna happened.
At least now I have seen the other side of you and it ain't so pretty.
Nonetheless, safe trip tomorrow because you used to be somebody that mattered to me.
Love
me
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday, January 23, 2015
Me and him
Do I want to be in love?
Yes, definitely.
Am I in love again?
Maybe not yet.
Am I ready to be in love?
I am not so sure about that.
Is he the right guy?
He could be.
Is he good enough for me?
Yes.
Am I good enough for him?
I hope so.
Will I change him?
For now, no. He's fine the way he is.
Will I change for him?
I am right now, out of my own will.
What do I like about him?
A lot of things.
Such as..?
His smile and his eye.
What I don't prefer about him?
He knows it.
Will I love him?
Always.
Yes, definitely.
Am I in love again?
Maybe not yet.
Am I ready to be in love?
I am not so sure about that.
Is he the right guy?
He could be.
Is he good enough for me?
Yes.
Am I good enough for him?
I hope so.
Will I change him?
For now, no. He's fine the way he is.
Will I change for him?
I am right now, out of my own will.
What do I like about him?
A lot of things.
Such as..?
His smile and his eye.
What I don't prefer about him?
He knows it.
Will I love him?
Always.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Blowing the memories away
It's the middle of the first month of the year, so I'm not exactly really late to wish everyone a happy and eventful year ahead, no matter where u are. New year could signify a new beginning for some which also means it's the end for the others.
2014 was indeed a less eventful year than 2013 but it taught me some useful lessons. It's a year where I learnt that I am capable of loving someone deeply even when it hurts me and at the same time, it taught me to understand just because I'm willing to sacrifice myself for someone doesn't mean he is obliged to do so as well. I have broken promises I made because it was for the best and I will take the guilt with me forever.
Two weeks in, there were some rough patches to be handle and broken heart to be mended. For that, I sincerely apologise to you, C. I don't blame you for blaming me and lashing back at me that night but it's better now than later. History will not repeat itself again this time; I won't keep it going just for the sake of trying when it's clearly won't work out well. Again, I'm sorry.
To Jen, it's time for me to let you go completely and wholly. It has been 2 years and I think it's more than enough time for me to wait. If you choose to appear again, I will be more than glad to continue back from where we left last time. Till then, I wish u all the best and great success for your final year in the US.
To LJ, I will never ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve any. I understand that even if you forgive me one day, you will never forget about it. It's time for you and me to get the peace that we both deserved. After all, you do seems a lot happier now.
To Leo, my birthday wish to you will be the last contact I will ever try to make with you. Honestly, it still sting a bit especially when the reply sounded like you are been forced to do so. I suppose we are back to ground zero and will stay there permanently.
To my D, this is the last time I will featured you in my space. For as long as I remember, I have been with you through thick and thin. Every time you fall down, I was there to catch and pull you back out of the darkness. I know expectation kills but I do expect deep down, hoping that one day you will look at me the way I look at you and realize all along, I will make you the happiest guy if you ever let me but you didn't. I kept trying nonetheless because well, love is blind. Right now, it doesn't matter anymore. Finally, I am tired and exhausted. I will disappear, not physically but emotionally. Every single bit of feeling I ever had for you, all is shredded and burnt. I will still care bout you even if you are in better hand now. Goodbye.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything.
Love
Your past
2014 was indeed a less eventful year than 2013 but it taught me some useful lessons. It's a year where I learnt that I am capable of loving someone deeply even when it hurts me and at the same time, it taught me to understand just because I'm willing to sacrifice myself for someone doesn't mean he is obliged to do so as well. I have broken promises I made because it was for the best and I will take the guilt with me forever.
Two weeks in, there were some rough patches to be handle and broken heart to be mended. For that, I sincerely apologise to you, C. I don't blame you for blaming me and lashing back at me that night but it's better now than later. History will not repeat itself again this time; I won't keep it going just for the sake of trying when it's clearly won't work out well. Again, I'm sorry.
To Jen, it's time for me to let you go completely and wholly. It has been 2 years and I think it's more than enough time for me to wait. If you choose to appear again, I will be more than glad to continue back from where we left last time. Till then, I wish u all the best and great success for your final year in the US.
To LJ, I will never ask for your forgiveness because I don't deserve any. I understand that even if you forgive me one day, you will never forget about it. It's time for you and me to get the peace that we both deserved. After all, you do seems a lot happier now.
To Leo, my birthday wish to you will be the last contact I will ever try to make with you. Honestly, it still sting a bit especially when the reply sounded like you are been forced to do so. I suppose we are back to ground zero and will stay there permanently.
To my D, this is the last time I will featured you in my space. For as long as I remember, I have been with you through thick and thin. Every time you fall down, I was there to catch and pull you back out of the darkness. I know expectation kills but I do expect deep down, hoping that one day you will look at me the way I look at you and realize all along, I will make you the happiest guy if you ever let me but you didn't. I kept trying nonetheless because well, love is blind. Right now, it doesn't matter anymore. Finally, I am tired and exhausted. I will disappear, not physically but emotionally. Every single bit of feeling I ever had for you, all is shredded and burnt. I will still care bout you even if you are in better hand now. Goodbye.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything.
Love
Your past
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