Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.: March 2005

Consolation

My new loft bed, new furniture, new accessories. And most importantly, new Powerbook G4 Titanium. Weehoo! Okay, time to make money. Taaa~

Those little things

It's those little things that attracts me most about him. It's the way he pouted his lips.. The way he frowned when he's jealous of something... The way he gazed at me when we are a metre away from each other... The way he sang 'Let me love you' to me.. The way he muttered nothings to himself whenever he teased me.. The way he hugged me tight.. The way he called me baby... And I shall never forget: The day I first laid my eyes on him... The day he told me he was hooked on me... The day we had our first kiss... The day he brought me out with his lovely sisters... Those lonely days I spent when he was away... Those days I spent after he came bk trying to make up for lost time... The day I first got jealous.... The day we had our first argument... And of course, the last day we met. Signing off for the moment. I am keeping myself busy. Goodnight everyone.

You were the biggest mistake of my life. You know who you are. Do you believe in karma? I've got mine. When's yours?

Fork-in

We have done it, yet again. Gallery Hotel has finalised the whole contract. Executive Commitee meeting went well. We thought the directors loved us. Hahahaa...! Well may be an understatement, fantastic describes it best. We were invited to their 32-course meal food tasting lunch after the meeting. Me and Lyn gave up at 16th. Had a minor food allergy prolly because of the oyster i tasted in the 3rd course, yucks. It's been a hectic week. Project at Chokri didn't go as I expected. Darn bloody lasalle equipments. Arrghh I'm tired but happy. Just spent 600 bloody dimes at Ikea. Madness, balls!!! The teeny-weeny accessories, those colourful household decor, those silvery glittery ornaments.. They were all screaming at my money to come outta my purse.. Hahahaha.... And my new loft bed! Yesssss I bought a 'double decker' metal-framed loft bed. Bed on top, workstation at the bottom. Killer i tell ya. And it's arriving on sundayyyyyyy, ooo yeh. I'm stagnant, but happy. On my own :)

Cosi Sunday

On a lazy sunday, 3 lameasses went to town. Had coffee at Cosi Cafe, Scotts.

Hot chocolates for the dude and a pot of peppermint tea for the bitches with the sore throats.

Lazy sunday footwear.

My stoning friend.

People-watching. Ouch. My legs still hurt from all that bumpin' and grindin' last night lah. Geez.

Oh, and not forgettin' the cheap fame me and fi got featured in this new ala-friendster-cum-hotspots site 'Nightlife.sg.

I needed tonight, and I had it...

Ooo I so like this new outfit y'know *grins*

Grandmaster Flash baybeh

Dope! Grandmaster Flash was dope! Mo-fo dope! Spectacular event in Zouk, the best I ever had indeed! The guys were there, you guys rawk! The girls: elni & ida.. you girls are the best r&b dance partners, oo yeh! Check out the pixies... i took secretly from my cellie.. Chris took some pix on his dgcam but it's not wit me yet.. He played bombastic old school tracks from 1971 y'all! all the way to contemporary top 40's. Almost all tracks out there were played, 'cept one, amazingly, which I was glad he didn't: Let me love you. Coz I so wasn't about to be disturbed by that, puh-leez. I needed tonight, and I had it.

Grandmaster Flash

Oo yeah. Grandmaster Flash, here i come!

I had let you love me

I had let you love me I had let you be the one to give me all i want and need Oh yes good love and protection I made you my selection You showed me the way love's supposed to be Baby I have let you love me, love me, love me.. Your status and fame looks so good that it hurts You're a star plus all that glitter I know what you're worth Everywhere you go she stops and stares Cause you're a star and it shows. Whatever.

Oui?

You know how you always wish for something to happen but it never quite came out right? And when you thought you have made the right decision then you find out it's the biggest mistake of your life, and it is too late to change it? And just when you thought people were so nice to you because they are genuinely interested in you, and not for your looks/wealth/status? Have you ever felt cheated and hurt like a dagger stabbed right through your heart? Just when you thought everything was beautiful. You knew something was bound to screw up. And then it did. How do you prepare yourself against being crushed by such turbulence? I have 1001 questions in my head. But never quite got the answers. Seems that one day i'll die a very curious woman (read: gurl).

I barely know you anymore.

How foolish we are when in love. I barely know myself anymore. I have turned from a hard-ass bitch to a soft egoless emotional girl. Maybe I am demanding, and he's hard to please. I don't like this. Not one bit of it. I love him and hate him at the same time. He knows that. He said he loves me, and he knows I don't believe it. And, he's going out with a girl-friend later this afternoon. An old friend, her birthday, he said. But, just the two of them. How'd you feel if you were me? Heck, of course I get jealous. Wtf? Some male friends have asked me out and I declined because I am seeing you, and you only. My time now is reserved only for work, family and you. But sadly I hardly ever exist in your daily agenda. It's always others. You and your various old 'girl friends'. How old? I am 23 fucking years old, with a childhood more colourful than the painting of Jackson Pollock's, have friends from all walks of lives, but I still fucking choose you over them! They say "Values are only measured by the importance it has to you", and I don't seem to be of much value to you. I'm procrastinating.

Snakes around the temples of salvation part deux

we will purchase a SQ ticket to bali first, then paris. we will see a pot of gold at the end. err but i dont wana have a chat with the leprechaun, you can go ahead wit dat.. and we will walk with them along the rainbow, cohibas (wtf is that) in our hands. everything IS like a dream now. It was our dream since 2 months ago, and it has became a reality. me too, i have a feeling that something is gona screw up. for lyn, could be your health (that's y you should frown less, smile more, and work smart, not hard. heheh) and for me, could be my personal life. heck, what personal life do we have anyway? meetings, classes, mockups after mockups, business networking till i hardly get calls from friends anymore. i shall thank my lord (for lyn, the lady above) for all that fork concepts has achieved for these amazing 2 months, and for granting me a wonderful hard-ass partner like her. fierce and cranky she can be (you know, the stern marketing types) and as close to witnessing me peeing while driving, i love her to death as well. p/s: we will also buy our matching tiffany bracelets, aiiighhht

I'm sweating...

A phone call from lyn this evening flew me to the moon. I got another huge project. Brunei's. Been waiting almost a week after I quoted them. Finally! Then it hit me. I have gota meet the clients in brunei. Which means I wont be able to attend lectures and tutorials. Work: I have to go for meetings after meetings with Gallery Hotel. Meetings with Global Europ/Asialinx, websites to maintain. School: I have collaborations with Chokri, which I have to run around like a mad woman for 3 days. I have a final thesis to write, 2 minor essays, plus one huge project assessment. I have only 2 more months before graduation. Which means helluva things to do and essays to write. Plus The Gallery Hotel project. *Sigh* Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to my lord for granting me these fantastic massive corporation paying huge moolah projects, but I am just afraid of being unable to meet the deadlines... Geez.. Lyn promised she'd be by my side. She'd slit my throat if I decide to defer/drop out of my degree. She will, I tell ya. Moolah = More work + less play, no life.

Fork 1 - Spoon 0

Tiring week. But fruitful, I should say? Clinched a deal with Gallery Hotel. A 5-figure project. When the IT Manager called to inform the good news, I couldn't help but to scream (I know, a bit unprofessional, but I was looking forward to it all day). The first person I called was of course my beloved feminist partner, lyn and both of us were screaming and giggling. Then calls to parents, made them proud, I hope! This IS huge. Gawd, after a gruelling session with 8 members of the exec commitee, this is worth it. We've worked hard for it. My sleepless nights have paid off. Quotation's signed. Cheque's coming in next friday. Work starts tonight. Powerbook G4,iPod Photo, Tiffany bracelet,and a BALI holiday are on the way. My day was great. Dinner with Lyn and her colleagues. Ended with fetching my baby from town, with his lil cuz. Good Heavens, more fun in store, I hope?

Can I just leave?

I am supposed to graduate in 2 months. With an honours degree. But now, I am starting to break into pieces. Work in fork concepts is sucking the daylight out of me. I barely have time to do research on my 8,000 word freaking thesis. I have an upcoming fashion show collaboration in less than 3 weeks, and I still have not confirmed plenty of things. I really am close to fucking my degree now, seriously. I have had enough. I am half dying in singapore, I do not know how I'd fare if I was studying in somewhere else. 2 months to go. And I'll make my parents proud.

I am letting you love me.. again..

I feel: Insecure. Foolish. Lost. Confused. I am SO in love with him. He drives me insane. For 3 fucking days, I was mad coz he was too busy to see me. I got so, so mad. You can't blame me, we're still on our honeymoon period. I feel sorry for him lah, he has lotsa commitments to attend to. *Sigh* Miss his smell, his kisses, his big beary hug, his extreme obsession with hygiene, his everything. Gawd, you drive me crazy.

Huh...

You've changed. In 1 month. If you don't dig me, just go. Don't drive me insane. You said you loved me, but I don't think you feel it. You're the only one I said I love you to since hiro. But you don't seem to appreciate it. As I have said many times over, don't test my patience. It seems that you are.

It's raining again

It's raining again this morning. Alhamdulillah.. Thank you god for having me blessed with: - Understanding family - Caring chick-adees (lynette, yaya, elni, vicki) - Cool friends - Precious design passion, skills and knowledge - Profitable company - Someone to love.. and to love me..

You lifted me high up.. and then you let go...

I have said this before and I am going to say it again. When your career blooms, your personal life sucks. Pitched for a design project with one of the renowned local hotels (not hotel 81, mind you). The estimate for this project is a 5-figure amount which include two phases. I am pretty confident of the confirmation for this one as the hotel manager is a very old friend of mine, sweet. *Grins* Not forgetting a local pool bar which is going to sign with us pretty soon. That's close to a 5-figure amount as well.Fork is flying, yeh. I love lynette babe for the wonderful partnership, and for always being there for me. In this hectic schedule, I am amazed at my ability to juggle with school work. I am not running smoothly, i tell ya. I want to graduate, asap. I can't wait to run the business without anything else distracting me. That fashion show I'm collaborating with Chokri is on 23rd March. 8000-word Thesis is due in april. My exhibition is in may. God forbid, I'll breakdown one of these days... Anyway. My personal life, as I mentioned, is grey. He disappeared yesterday. Think he was angry at me. He switched off his phone the whole day. Justified? I shall put the matter to rest. Will not blabber now as we have made peace. But I am terribly terrified. I wonder how long will he be around? I wonder, when he says "I love you" before we ended the call this evening, did he really mean it?I hope he did. Coz I do.I'm in love, therefore i've fallen too deep i am not sure I can get out safely..

Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Consolation

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Those little things

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Friday, March 25, 2005

Fork-in

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Cosi Sunday

I needed tonight, and I had it...

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Grandmaster Flash

Friday, March 18, 2005

I had let you love me

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Oui?

Sunday, March 13, 2005

I barely know you anymore.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Snakes around the temples of salvation part deux

I'm sweating...

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Fork 1 - Spoon 0

Monday, March 07, 2005

Can I just leave?

I am letting you love me.. again..

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Huh...

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

It's raining again

You lifted me high up.. and then you let go...

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