Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

What we've been up to at North Bridge.

Summing up the last week of August:

• Fell ill, bad fever - I now sound like a drag queen
• Ikea drove me nuts like everyone else
• Baby started his school term in SMU
• Going very broke - getting an office for your business ain't as gorgeous as it may seem, it places a huge over-my-head burden if ya know what i mean.
• My manjen grandmother is getting frail by the day - i should visit her often.
• My dad is driving my mom nuts with his overly-jealous madness - she can't even leave the house except for work without being questioned by him. I wonder whether he's going through a male menopause.

I'm full of Endorphins - Nabil and chocolates.

Had plenty of plans in my head before friday. Zouk Very Xotic lah. Womad lah. Movie lah. Altivo lah. Simpang lah. But then again, I was too damn sick, and too damn lazy. So I hungout at by's place. Nice boxers, i like. Oh, and then, he asked me to design him a tee, he's crazy about Paris Hilton. It says "I dig Paris Hilton". Whatever lah, as long as you're happy lah kay... <- Version one... <- Version Two Lucky dickhead....

At 1.30pm today, the malay news on Warna 94.2 hit me home. Before, it had always been me sticking out by the TV, radio or newspaper looking for news on Noh Rahman. Today I stuck by the radio to listen to my own name, and then listening to my own voice recording for like 30 seconds. How delighted. Being donned with 'Siswazah (graduate) Lasalle-SIA', where they mentioned I am currently running my own design firm, Fork Concepts. How more proud could I be? But there's a long way to go for me, baby. This is ain't even near the end. The battle must go on... cheyyy.... Oh yeah, I forgot. As of today, I hold a Second Upper Class Honours Bachelor of Interactive Art, Lasalle-SIA College of The Arts. P/S: Another interview in english on NewsRadio 93.8 6pm.

Priceless Taking my very first dump in the toilet in the new office. Relieved Furnitures bought from Ikea. Exciting Murals on some walls in the off, gona be decided, will be done by none other than my favourite artist TRASEONE Very Thankful Another quotation signed and confirmed, and pitching 3 new ones Birthday Elfa's yesterday - Happy birthday darling. Amazing Found out Nabil's mom actually knew I exist, and it was neither Nabil nor his sis cum Fork's strategic alliance partner Juliana who told her about it. Painless Saw Noh's teammate at downstairs office today. Then a galfriend called me up to tell me she saw Noh and his new indonesian love interest. Bereaved Having been deprived of Zouk for a month. Baffled My alma mater Lasalle-SIA called up saying that they are inviting me to do a radio by-phone-interview in MALAY to represent the MALAY graduates in lasalle-sia. A bit salah rite? I'm like the last person they should look for sia.. with all the idiosyncrasies that I so very am against, and all... anyway, okay... will do anything to advertise Fork Concepts.. and make my mom a lil proud? Hahahaha.. VERY SALAH, man..... Disorganised My bedroom looks like a pig sty, haven't really cleaned it since my trip to Phuket. Honest My life ain't that beautiful as how some friends of mine had interpreted from what I write in my blog. I have plenty of ups and downs, my life sucks as much as everyone else's, but I don't pen down everything that I go through. I filter them, resulting to bits and pieces of crummy thoughts and experiences worth remembering. Why am I even explaining in a public blog where I can say 'To hell with everyone' (which I actually did, technically) but I just feel like explaining, for the heck of it. Since a friend actually voiced out what he thinks of my blog... Oh well. Everything ain't really what it seems like...

My body aches from all those scrubbing and scruffing of the paint-stained floor and those dirty dirty louvre windows. My arms are cramped from painting those walls. Green + Yellow. Alamak, sounds like ketupat eh? *giggles* Lotsa shit to settle man. More painting, telephone connections, broadband connections, buy furniture, and still have to run for meetings... wahlau-wey.... It's been so long since I last snogged my man, too busy la... how.... hehehehehe LYNETTE: SAC!!!!!!!!!

Everytime I am behind the wheels with my parents sitting in the vehicle, it is an unspoken rule that we listen to a malay radio station, probably like many of you out there are experiencing as well. This evening especially, he tuned in to some malaysian channel where there was constantly recital of quranic verses, with a melodious voice that really touched me. I realised that I even remember most of the verses! How? Probably from those madrasah days when I was made to to memorise tons of quranic verses, as part of our school curriculum. It's amazing how deep it had touched me, even with all the wrongdoings and vices I have sinned, (and still am). I actually listened to it, after dropping my father off, all the way from Yio Chu Kang to Ikea. God is great.

I have just resetted the hit counter, and it's almost 30 now. I wonder who peeps in here. And how come no one leave me messages, except lenny, dilla, and one-offs from others. Maybe that's how bored people are. Like me.

Fork concepts has forked yet another deal - Resham Melwani's design collaterals. Brochure for her new upcoming campaign, and her website - reshamm.com Excitinggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!! Can't wait to see the signature above those dotted lines.

Awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! After a 2nd viewing in the awesome office that we so love, we are gona sign the lease. Fork in motion!!! Take a peek.

Happy 22nd birthday, to my beloved partner, and friend, Lynette Tan Li-Ling. P/S: Those flippers rock.

From bornmagazine memory: the enemy its nude and worthless body. enters the evening as if on wings smiling and waving a white feather first quiet, then tanked but still a rating of G when it sleeps, its prick hangs against the bedward high the tip rising then dropping then sticking a bit of spank to hold its place the prick long as a sonnet and as thick, with a turn near the end a woman with a beetle in her hair asks if it was awful it wasn't so awful, we watch it sleep then we sleep. by morning it's gone, its print left in the sand just inches from the sharky waters where a lemon-yellow boy glides past in a sailboat.

Kopitiam hopping with Ryan today. We had a 2-hour debate on integrity of religions and the theory of evolution. One shouldn't start convincing an atheist, really. And worse, if he has a head full of questions above that lanky body of his!

I was OUT for 12 hours today: . Morning meeting for Corporate ID Client. . Lunch @ M Nasir Cafe, Liang Seah . Office viewing at Aliwal Street, Jalan Besar, North Bridge Road and Syed Alwi Road . Lyn and I LOVE the North Bridge office . Meeting @ Avila Park It was just insane. 2nd viewing for North Bridge office with Juliana, our strategic alliance, who runs Motion. I want that North Bridge office, badly. Our butts are itching from being home based way too long. Now I need to sleep. BIG Melwani meeting tomorrow. Who says GIRLS ARE KENTOT? *ponders*

... watches NDP Rally? Ans: My boyfriend. It's disturbing.

Cute ain't he? Ggggrrrrr i wana pinnnnnccchhh ilyas' chubby cheeks again *grins* Aight, me and the hotmama elfa finally had our long overdue coffee, with that lil one, who definitely definitely looks none other than his dad... so very the indra face.. heh. Met up with foam in Simpang. Haven't seen them in a while sia. Miss the fellas, only jordan and fi weren't around. Anyway, meeting in erm.. approximately 12 hours, for a 8k project. Crossing my fingersssss. Wooo.. I feel like smelling Nabil.

Lately, I've been getting funny feelings everytime i land my head on the pillows in the wee hours of the morning - I can't explain it. It's like... I'm frightened over something. Nervous about something hideous. Maybe I need to strengthen my pillars of faith again - Start praying. Maybe I should make less love. Maybe I should drink less wine. Maybe I should start going to that long overdue religious classes. Pray I won't be too late. By the way my throat area hurts, when i press it from the surface. Should I worry, or that's just an after-effect of my nasty sleeping habits? I miss someone. But i don't know who.

One critical discussion way overdue. But once done, I know which path I may take. What's in my messed up mind now:Luck. Better luck. Money. Moolahs. Duit. Wang. Fork: Work my ass off more. Decisions: Sacrifices. Passion: Interactive art. Golden opportunities: Once in a lifetime. Retire by 30: Success. Shake leg. Many toyboys. 501: Godsend contacts. Teach: Design. Lecture. Brush-up: Programming. Learn: Processing.

050505 marked the date that I, Farhana, swallowed my own words. I often lamented that I will never ever date/marry an arab/indian. But hell, Nabil's sooooooo bloody cina than most cinas i know, man. Okay, but bottomline, he's arab, so yeah, I was wrong. That, was three months ago.... Well well. I made it.

Big boss of 501 is one friendly, awesome and respectable woman. Sitting beside her in a meeting in her office located in her building greens me with envy. Being acquainted with her is honourable beyond words. She was happy to have learnt something. I was happy to be given opportunities to impart my knowledge. Afterall, she's a graduate of my alma mater. No wonder we get along. Meeting her again tomorrow afternoon, and I shall look forward to it again.

Meetings, and classes to teach. Busy busy week, and I like it. Though my bones are screaming out beggin me to slow down. Mind is full of mad ass stuffs. Problems no one person could ever understand. I'm in a real fix. Hope this clears up. And i hope that the lucky star that has shone on me today will continue to shine and convince ladyluck to smile down on me ;) Keyword: 501. You. Dinner last night was life-saving. Arigato. P/S: Malik/Edi/Rizal: How did u guys get here, man? Mira: Hope you're having loads of fun in your new career.

Happy Birthday, Mohamed Noh Bin Rahman. May god bless you.

Interesting excerpts taken from an ex-flava cutieboy Danial.

1- Miss Feminist This woman postulates that all the ills of society are orchestrated by men and the best thing a man can do to improve himself is cut off his testicles and grow a pair of ovaries. She believes that women are angelic creatures who would make the world a utopia if only the male "patriarchy" would allow them to. Any woman who promotes these absurdities lives in a fantasy world and will have no problem at all treating a man in a way that she would never herself abide by. You can easily identify her by her incessant mantra, "All men think with their penises." Avoid her at all costs.

2- Miss Take She's out for your money -- pure and simple. Miss Take is the ultimate in high maintenance. She expects a man to finance her entire life just because she is biologically female. To her, a man should pay for drinks, dinners, trips, flowers, and jewelry, while she feels absolutely no guilt or compulsion to reciprocate. She is nothing but a whitewashed prostitute. Miss Take thinks her vagina is plated with gold and is worth a million dollars. She is greed personified. Since she has no concept of someone else's feelings, her only interest is in getting what she wants. And don't be fooled -- some apparently very "nice" girls are the greediest of them all.

On to Miss Romance, Elusive and Angry

3- Miss Romance This type of woman lives in a fantasy world of Lifetime Channel movies and romance novels. Every night she goes home alone to spend hours flipping through her bride magazines, imagining that, at any moment, Prince Charming will ride up on his white horse, sweep her off her feet, and offer her a problem-free existence for the rest of her life. The Miss Romances of the world have been coddled by parents and family, told they are "princesses," and have absolutely no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets. Miss Romance will expect to be taken care of, will be a dud in bed, and will, almost overnight, turn into a shrieking nag. Run.

4- Miss Elusive This woman is closely allied to Miss Romance, but with a dark side. She is usually one of the "walking wounded" -- someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously avoids or sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, as first she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away -- then repeats this cycle over and over again. Miss Elusive is the queen of mixed messages. She will flirt with you and date you, but you'll never get past "friend" status. What you will get is a million excuses for her unavailability, all calculated to deceive herself that she just doesn't have time for a relationship. Save yourself some heartache -- don't get involved with her.

5- Miss Angry Like Miss Feminists, Miss Angrys really don't like men. They scorn the male gender and can rattle off all the wrongs and misdeeds of every man they've ever encountered. To Miss Angry, there's no such thing as a nice guy -- they're all "jerks," "creeps" and "pigs." Many of them have lots of simmering anger at men, which can explode at any moment like an erupting volcano. Unless you're into lots of drama and screaming, stay away.

6- Miss Insecure This woman seems great at the start because she's very nice, accommodating and treats men well. But her inner insecurities don't take long to surface. Pretty soon she's calling you 10 times a day, asking to see "where the relationship is going," or because she "just wants to hear your voice." She needs constant reassurance that she's attractive, and worries incessantly about her makeup, hair and the alignment of her clothes. She's clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that you're going to leave her at any moment for "someone better." This kind of thing can get really creepy really fast.

7- Miss Bitch Miss Bitches are the sulkers, pouters and ball-busters of the female world. They are very unpleasant people who treat their fellow humans poorly, care only about themselves, and aren't concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. Most Miss Bitches qualify as Miss Takes, too. Miss Bitches are usually good-looking and well dressed, and you can easily identify them by the scowls on their faces as they imperiously strut through the world.

On to 5 more women you have to avoid at all costs

8- Miss Me A close relative of Miss Bitch, Miss Me is entirely focused on herself. Miss Me needs to be the constant center of attention no matter what she does or where she goes. She is a selfish, self-indulgent, self-serving narcissist who was raised as "daddy's little girl," and expects the same from you. Unless you enjoy the company of spoiled brats, stay far, far away.

9- Miss Desperate Whether it's her baby clock ticking or she's the last of her girlfriends to trap a man, Miss Desperate wants to get married -- now. She doesn't care who the guy is or what he does -- as long as he's got a penis she can drag him to the altar. Watch out for this one!

10- Miss Jekyll/Hyde She's a conniving little piece of work who's an expert at conning men. Miss Turncoat will tell you exactly what you want to hear until you're hooked deep into the relationship (or married)… and then the truth comes out. Overnight, your sweet little girl turns into a demanding, greedy, mercenary harpy who will browbeat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.

11- Miss Tease Usually, you can spot Miss Teases a mile away because she flirts with anything in pants and flaunt her sexuality at every opportunity. Sometimes she sponges off older men; sometimes she's a ball-buster who enjoys getting men sexually excited and then walking away; and sometimes she just basks in her sexual power by attracting men like bees to honey. No matter how she operates, you can't trust her because she craves male attention and if somebody better comes along, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.

12- Miss Controlling She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat -- everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cut off sex, cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female tactic until you give in and succumb to her demands.

I wonder which do I (want to) fall in? And.. which do YOU fall in?

God knows how much I desperately needed a jumpstart. The pitch this evening went very well indeed (cute client), a sunday very well spent, i'd say. Now that this lazy-ass engine is running, there are agreements to be drawn, proposals to be written, drafts to be designed, quotations to be sent, and the list goes on.... Thank you GOD for blessing us with these opportunities. Fingers are still crossed though, for that huge project tendered last week, and of course, these 2 current pitches. I am happpppppppppppyyyyyyyy.... work ALWAYS keeps me happy... coz when i make money, i can go for another god-damn vacation... yipppeeee.... And spoke to Shu this evening... she's back from OZ pretty much for good... it means I have another addition to my posse to go gallivanting with... when Lyn's busy ravishing her KY and Tammy busy entertaining her long list of suitors... Kay, time to get my ass to work...