Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

Pimp 'n Ho Costume Ball... Awesome rnb sounds, but too many kids, balls. We left an hour later for O Bar, splendid.

And for the first time in 5 years (I think)....

On Sunday, when I still had hair... Close buddy wan and dear girlfriend Dila got their Halal stamp, finally =) And then somehow somewhere, BJ Kadir and Hisham got talkin' and dragged me into this portrait... and after the wedding....

Alamak, a lot of work at the mo. Going to shut my eyes, for a couple of hours. Before that... Going toilet. Feel like pooping. Think i got diarrhoea argh.

Coffee with cousins at Coffee Bean... Damn... my powder is too white... fuck.. *lol*

The scars from the minor accident have disappeared, and the pimples have subsided and improved tremendously. Yipppeeeee... Oh, and.. alhamdulillah =)

Why is it so difficult to forget someone? He drops me an sms and everything came crushing down on me. I need solace. Okay I need more work.

3rd meeting with Linda Locke (cited as one of the most powerful women in asian advertising industry) tomorrow afternoon making me nervous. She likes the logo we've finalised, so tomorrow I am going to be super-nice to her and everyone at LB. Suck up suck up, muahaahahaha! Anyways, having dinner with him today, I felt kinda different. It suddenly reminds me how lucky I am to have him caring for me (okay,mushy, yucks). I love seeing him without his dorky glasses that makes him look ahpek.... But anyway my point is, I feel super affectionate today. PMS over liao mah. I need my man and I need my man *hohoho*. We were waiting for a cab at the junction of Haji Lane with our bulging bellies full of shish kebabs, kissing and hugging and poking each other when we saw my dearest ex-boyfriend Nab and his (not so) new gurl friend. Hisham was amazed at how I cannot see people's faces at night yet could recognise Nabil from across the road! Of course, I could single him out in a crowd from a mile away! Or rather, I could tell MOST of my ex-es even from miles away... Okay... looking forward to smell Leo Burnett's office again....

Taxi ride from hell. That was it. This motherfucker jam-braked, and I was pushed to the front, sunglasses I was wearing poked on my nosebridge and right cheek, thus bruising the 2 parts. The wound on the nose bridge was bleeding for a bit, and now leaving ugly marks. Stupid motherfucker blamed me for not wearing seat belt. Yeah right. What luck! Buckle up the next time you hop on a cab, fellas.

I fell on my back, while walking home late at night, in the drizzling rain from meeting Hisham, somewhere in my neighbourhood. No one helped coz there wasn't one soul in the area. I gathered all the strength I had and managed to pull myself back up, and continued walking home shvering and feeling like I wanted to cry. Pasted some warm tiger balm 'koyok' on my lower back and slept. Today it hurts like a bitch. I can still walk alright, but I can feel the strain even when sitting down. Gona go to the doc tomorrow after my meeting, and please, don't say it's a slip disc.

My sleeping pattern has improved tremendously, amidst the piling workload and nearing deadlines. I didn't think it'd come in a package with unhealthy dreams or rather, nightmares. I do not know how many times I have had similar dreams about: Noh. About us parting, meeting again, him marrying that girl, our parents against us being together, etc. Is it a bad or a good omen? Or is it because I've never stopped thinking about him after years of separation? Everyone tells me to let go, I am trying hard to. Even after he told me on my face that he loves that girl more than he loves me with 5 years relationship put together. It isn't easy being me. Hisham better be good at his job (if my fate is sealed with him) or I'll be stuck here forever. An excerpt from Imran's: "Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

My early morning quest for Apong ended in vain, so I settled for my usual nasi sambal goreng, and dropped by my cousin's place down the road for a lil chat while buying thosai for her and her kids. She was horrified to see my nude pimply face and insisted I should stop seeing my dermatologist, a certain Dr. Y & Y, as words are going around that they use steroid in their prescriptions, that's why my zits go away when i stick with em and comes back when I ain't seeing them no more. So yeah, she said she heard bout this new product on warna 94.2 (i so do not listen to that) called Lustre (they even have a website here), and lotsa people who claimed to have used it said it's remarkably good. So I am seeking for opinions, if any of you had ever used, heard or discussed about this Lustre product, gime your two cents' worth.

Ze Grande Entree Ze Workstations Ze Lounge De Chille *Artwork courtesy of our talented art scholar and dear friend Traseone Sabahul Khair! Rising early (and shining), I got in the office by 10 am *giggles* freaking early, innit? I am beginning to think the office is getting a lil too big for FORK (1 person, me) and shared by Motion (Juliana, Zafira & Rina). Oh well, I love it too much to let go (for a erhm, quite a pricetag). My source of inspiration, and working my ass off, for now =)

Amazing iTunes, spectacular functionality, remarkable technology! Discovering podcasts on iTunes quite recently made me feel somewhat of an outdated idiot. I am now glued and proudly subscribed to Photoshop TV & Happy Tree Friends channels =)

Summation of my amusement-filled long weekend:

• Lots of Telly
• Jazz @ Southbridge & Barnone for Juliana's Birthday
• Paul Van Dyk @ Zouk for Vick's Birthday, then Attica.
• Saw an ex-flame at Zouk. How cute lil muffin.

Sunday, Me, Julz, Yin and Param were trippin' in Barnone. Didn't realise the female vox in the band is an ex-schoolmate of mine - Nana. They say she was in Singapore Idol? Anyways, yeah. Was kinda exhilarated to see a familiar face after not going to barnone for ages. Later I met more familiar faces, old friends. How I feel old! On my 22nd birthday, I was at Barnone and felt sooo out of place. But now? Kinda okay, I guess. Oh well. I had to drag my ass out on Monday evening to Zouk even though I was still dazed from the night before... urgh.... Couldn't avoid not going lah.. my #1 (used to be) pimp-ess' birthday, man! Freaking packed it was! There was still a long queue by the time I left for Attica I think, like 2-ish? And... I saw that cute ex-muffin at Phuture, almost got me dead in that heat of the moment! Erm. But didn't say more than five words to him: "Hey!" and "It's Vicki's birthday today.." He was in a close proximity to where I was dancing.... and I kept chanting this in my head "I have a boyfriend, he has a girlfriend......" like gazillion times! Oh man.. that kinda got me messed up for the night. Thinking of how disturbed I felt when I saw him. The point isn't him. It's me. Don't you think that proves how much unfinished business I have in my head, that I should have sorted out before I got myself hooked to someone else? But then again, I was cornered, am I not?