Okay… I was suppose to continue the 9th, 10th, 11th…….. current date. But then again, i finally realise although I have lots of time spend on the phone but still I do not get a lot of peace and rest time.
Today is the 29th November. 52 days (7weeks + 2 days) since Chloe is born. 52 days into motherhood. Motherhood really isn’t easy, but it definitely gets better as the days goes by.
Finally I’m taking over full duties of taking care of Chloe. It’s never easy but I don’t really grumble. I love how I can put her to bed, although it means by letting her lying on my chest. It also means I got tied down and not able to do anything. Everyday have been so challenging. Eating, packing and cleaning become so limited that sometimes I feel that I’ve already becoming a superwoman.
Holding her in my tummy for 40weeks and finally she’s here in the world and continue to carry her in my arms till the day she got sick of hugging me. So from now I shall cherish every little hugs i get.
When Chloe is still 2weeks old, I do honestly feel like giving up breastfeeding although back then my supply were consider good. However look! It’s almost 2months and I’m still breastfeeding Chloe despite that my supply have decreased! Still I’m pressing on, so that she can be fed as Long as possible. Some people might think 2months is nothing, but I struggled through, thinking of giving up because of tiring, pain, swollen and many other emotions involved. Yet now able to still be providing breastmilk for my little one I’m more than happy despite she still get supplement from formula milk at times.
I guess this is what others always say, it’s tough yet rewarding. Thankyou little one for bringing so much joy into mummy’s daddy’s life.
So this is gonna be a really long whiny post, of the birth story of my little gem.
8th Oct
As usual, I couldn’t get to sleep the day before knowing today gonna be the day admitting hospital to evict little gem out of my womb.
So, I woke up early at about 630am and get myself ready! Prepare together with hubby, did last minute preparation like phone charger and spect. Before heading down to the hospital we head over to have my so call last meal, McDonald Hotcake, before I start my confinement food.
Supposingly to be admitted at 8am but we only reached there at 830am. So proceed to head over the observation ward for ctg monitoring. Dr Wong came to visit me at the ward as he’s nearby, checked my cervix and was told it wasn’t open π° not again???? So he insert the first induction pill at 930am and was told to rest for 2 hours first and he will get the Nurses to send me up to the normal ward to rest, it was then about 11+ am! Contractions were ok then, until I arrived at the normal ward. So, manage to have my lunch there, had a hard time and try to endure the pain as it was still bareable at that time. Then after it got more and more intense and the clock ticks! But still I manage to endure for 2 hours, was then 2pm before they send me down to the labour ward. I was really in deep pain and i am already starting to spout nonsense which hubby couldn’t even understand or find it amuse. At last I gave in to epidural, honestly it’s a heaven creation to all pregnant mummies!
Have I mention I do afraid of needles! So it was another hurdles for me. But thank god dr Wong have reserved me a fabulous epidural doctor which totally set me at ease through the administration. It was almost an immediate pain relief after the epidural was administered. & hubby saw a happy wifey thereafter. Just after the epidural was done, dr Wong came by and pay me a visit. As the epidural have not taken effect on my lower body, hence when he tried to do a cervix checked and broke my waterbag at the same time(no, he did not inform me he is gonna break it) I was still able to felt the pain and practically ouching away. Hubby came back into the observation ward to look at me and asked if it was very painful. Definitely, it is painful! Duh! It was then I was about 4-5cm dilated. Not Long after the senior nurse transferred me to the delivery room as there are available room. By the time i had the epidural and pushed into the delivery room it was already close to 5pm!
Was happily resting away, trying to catch some sleep before the time is up, so did hubby! It was a Long labour! Since I was on drip and epidural so the insert the pee tube to help me drain out all the urine. Did another dilation check on the 8pm and was still stucked at 5cm. How horrible can that be. Thinking baby is really gonna be out on the 9th oct, which was what I wanted as well π but still.. there’s nothing much I can do to fasten the dilation so all I could do is to wait!
So when the time comes, at about 9-ish dr Wong came back again to check and was told I was 8cm already! π© so he mention he will be back in 2 hours time to check again and left, so I was expecting baby to be out at about 11plus! But after the Dr Wong left, I was started to felt a little bit of the contraction pain hence I was paranoid and wonder what I should do as I don’t want to feel any pain during the active labour. So I told one of the nurse who came by my room and I mention about feeling pain at my lower abdomen. She say ok, and left the room. Another nurse told me the epidural runs out and she can increase the dosage for me. Just when she just increase the dosage for me, the first nurse who I told her about the pain came back into the room and told me doctor say, I can start pushing because I’m already 10cm dilated. What! It was then approximate 1045pm! So the Nurses started preparing, hubby getting ready, off the tv, stay by my side.
Start pushing about 1120pm, so that the nurse can clear my shit as I wasn’t given any medication to clear my bowel, too late when they realised it. Oh yeah, and halfway pushing, I vomited so badly because of the side effect of the epidural. For a moment I tot I gonna die from suffocation because I just couldn’t take in any oxygen, not a single breathe. Thankfully Nurses were there to calm me down by telling me to breathe slowly. *phew*
Dr Wong came about 1140pm took his time, prepare documents, wear his surgical clothes. Got ready, sat infront of me and I was thrown a cloth on my stomach. That when I know things are begin to start. It was then about 12am, yes my little girl decided to come out on the 9th instead. Dr Wong got ready and ask me to start pushing, yeah that’s when the real pushing starts. Dr Wong told the Nurses to help me with the push, hence they were pushing my tummy as well. After the first push I swear I wanted to give up, but after dr Wong said, “aiya, I think cannot deliver already.” The first thing that came to my mind was, “oh shit! The hospital bill gonna cost a bomb!” So after that, I pushed so damn hard for 3 times and pop! Baby is finally out to see us. That moment I knew I’ve safely brought her to the world, the moment then dr Wong put her on my tummy and I touches her limbs. So that alive thingy is finally here to see us. That touching moments, only a Mom will get to experience it. Couldn’t stop tearing upon hearing baby cries, and I couldn’t stop telling hubby, our baby is here. As I pen down this moment I couldn’t help but to have my eyes welled up. ππππ I finally carried this living human being 40weeks in my tummy and safely brought her to the world. All the pain and sacrifices is worth it.
After baby was brought to a corner for cleaning, hubby was asked to go over for phototaking. Dr Wong have already started to stitch me up. Yeah, if you’re wondering why, he cut me open so that the tear won’t be bad. Through the moment baby was brought away or rather way before I kept telling hubby I was in pain, to the extend the nurse couldn’t stand my whining and finally throw me an oxygen mask. Thinking it just helping me to feel better without any medication. I breathe in so quickly that I was knocked out within less than 10 puffs! However, I could still feel the pain and all the voices. But my body felt so weak to even do anything. I was helpless but no one notice me. π© the moment when hubby spotted me I was already knocked out, he was confused hence he asked the nurse what happen to me, where the nurse answered “oh! Just let her sleep”. Oh seriously? But I swear I heard that. Then I forced myself to open my eyes to look at hubby, where he got a shocked again. I refused to have my eyes closed. I bet I was really quite annoying as I couldn’t stop complaining pain ππ©
After cleaning up the baby, the brought the baby to me, but as my body still feels weak I dare not hold baby for Long and asked hubby to took over in case I dropped her. Yknow, I don’t wanna carry her for 40weeks in my tummy and having her out for a few minutes and lost her. I rather to have more energy and then carry her again. I’ve got a lifetime to carry her, I’m not afraid. βΊοΈ but hubby is enjoying looking at our lovely Daughter. She’s indeed cute enough, she seems to recognise our voices when we talk to her. When she wanted to let out a cry and we called out her name she would just stop and looked at us! How adorable.
Time check : 11:33pm 4th October
As the time ticks, as the day past by. I’m left with approx 3-4 more days before I’ll see my little gem!
The kind of mixed feelings, I just don’t know how to explain. I kept telling hubby I have so much emotions/feelings but I do not know how to express them in words.
excited.. fear.. worry.. anxiety..
Beyond all the above, I just want little gem to come out smoothly, and healthy. I am sure u wasn’t asking for too much right?
Really really hope, little gem decides to come out naturally, I mean naturally natural, if you get what I mean.
Every single day, I’m blessed to know what little gem is growing healthily in my tumtum, kicking, punching, turning, stretching, etc…. but then again, little gem really knows how to enjoy life in my tumtum fully utilizing the 40weeks. π© but then again, I hope the whole delivery process will/can be smooth sailing. πͺπ»
I survived almost 40weeks keeping little gem inside, I’m sure there is already nothing I couldn’t defeat right π€
On the brighter side, you can say I’m pretty enthu about updating this little space. Or you can call me bored, for having too much time & not knowing what I better do.
thinking back how far hubby & I have come by. It’s been 4 years going 8 months, and we’ve been married for 3years! Time flies!
Marriage life indeed not an easy one. At least never smooth sailing one for me. Back then hubby was still a soldier, times were hard for us. We hardly spend quality time together. He works till late, weekends got burnt, flying for oversea training. I was so tired of his unintentional neglection. I back then always on the phone texting, finding my own activities to keep myself occupied.
One fine day, he decided to leave the force. I didn’t understand why, I didn’t bother to ask, I didn’t cared. All I care about was how are we going to survive through the day by day expenses. That was all I cared about, Moneyπ΅. I didn’t care for his feelings, and what he was thinking about and why he did that. But slowly I came to realise, he did it because of me. He couldn’t bear to sacrifice his the quality time spend with his Wife. He wouldn’t want to risk his life being in danger. But I didn’t understand him. I felt awfully bad when I think back now.
He always has his way of loving me, pampering me. & I loved it.
He’s definitely a man who is tough on the outside where everyone else sees him as. But to me, he’s a man filled with feelings, I seen his happiest smile, the saddest tears, his angriest moment, depressed moment. & im truly guilty for all the upset & depressed moment because I made him experience them. No matter how strong he is, I felt bad for putting him through what he didn’t has to go through. & I came to realise how much this man here, never never abandon me just because I was playful and being naive. Never loses his patient on me.
Honestly, without him I couldn’t be in any better place now. He built my confidence, & gave me the most truthful advise that anyone else hated.
I’m Glad this little gem is making a huge impact in both our life. I decided to changed for the better. I decided to not let this man whom I call Husband to worry and feel upset because of me. I’m gladly things have turn out pretty well ever since the realisation of little gem.
The journey of this pregnancy haven’t been any easier if wasn’t the man. But luckily I didn’t manage to have any morning sickness, count myself lucky. & I do not have stupid and weird cravings, never at crazy midnight timing. Everything was smooth sailing, just that when I enter the third trimester, tummy gets bigger and heavier I have problem moving about. So hubby will always try to fetch me from work so I do not need to squeeze through the crowd to take a train back home during the peak hours.
Slowly, graduately, I became lazier. More dependent on the hubby. But I’m Glad he is helpful all the time. Always holding me tight just so that I have a support when taking walks and especially the stairs. I see how he changed, to become a more loving man, more fatherly (in preparation to our little gem). Thank you hubby for all your sacrifice to keep this home intact. π
In just less than a week, it will no longer just be the 2 of us, but a little family of 3. I’ve so much more uncertainty, doubt, fear…. but he never fails to keep me calm by ensuring me that we will walk through this together & I’ll never be alone to face any of the shit. (Ok la, actually he never says, but I’m sure I’m feeling it) hehe! Right hubby?
Anyway, he’s not someone who will express much of his feelings to one. So sometimes I just wonder what he’s really thinking at the back of his mind. But whatever it is, I know it’s something good. Sometimes I just love to see his worried face, just so that I know he cares ππ hahah! Oh my.. why I so sick π
Since the day we found out about little gem, he’s been so caring towards me. Thank you for trying to protect this little wifey & little gem that has been growing in my tumtum for the past 39weeks. I love seeing his excited face every time I asked how excited he is to meeting our little gem, how we have create this pretty piece. I love how he would bring me around for good food so that it satisfied me & the little gem & sometimes himself although I might not say anything.
All in all, I’ll never want to imagine my life without you. Thank you for all the sacrifices and contribution you’ve did for me, and our little gem. I really really appreciate it πβ€οΈ love you so much, daddy Chua!
So… I finally understand the meaning of “Mom is the greatest (ε¦ε¦ζ―δΈηδΈζδΌε€§η)” okay. Let me rephrase it, I finally understand it in a whole new/deeper level of it! Only when I embark my journey to become one, I truly know how much sacrifice a Mom can do their child, be it an unborn child.
Hence, I really did restrict myself quite a bit. Don’t laugh at me Hor, I really did!
Prawn
– I don’t used to be a prawn lover, and I hate prawns! But I started eating them about 5 years ago? I won’t say I love eating them, but I actually quite like eating it. So it became a torture when I sees it on the dinner table and I couldn’t eat it! π’
Crabbies
– I swear this is one of my love! I love eating crab, especially Chilli crab. So I have officially stop eating them for a good 10months! In fact I am actually allergy to seafood but I couldn’t care much, but thinking of the fact of having the little one growing inside me, I took extra precautions. I rather stop eating than to risk it!
Fried Prawn Mee noodle
– one of my Favourite. I mean I love it. In the past I would order it without prawn/seafood, and just have the noodle. Okay! I know I’m weird, but who cares really! But because they brew the soup with prawn head/shell and whatever seafood ingredient so hubby say no! Hence it’s been another 10months I have not touch it π honestly I’m depriving of eating my prawn Mee!
Sushi express
– I started love eating it! & I mean sushi express, the one located at 313@somerset. But I afraid I’ll be taking in any semi-raw or uncooked food. So to prevent that from happening, I stop eating sushi. It’s been a few months! But it’s gonna be worth it.
Steamboat
– extra careful when eating it. Ensuring all food are well cooked before I start picking food up from the pot. Not gonna risk a single bit of eating a portion of uncooked food.
Starbucks
– abandon coffee based drinks. I didn’t I grew to love drinking coffee base Starbucks drinks till little one decides to grow in my tumtum. So it’s been another 10months but I still survived! πͺπ» strong mama here!
Cold drinks
– yes, I have cut down a lot more cold drinks. I would proudly say, probably about 90% of cold drinks intake! So proud of myself! πͺπ» call myself timid/coward but no I don’t allow myself to risk anything to put the little one in harm!
Ice cream
– I quite cravings for it, and I really do still eat it on and off. That’s if hubby allows but I still reject any offer or eating it when I can!
Extra careful when taking steps
– I became extra extra careful with steps. Especially that one fall few months back! I become extra slow and careful when climbing up & down. No I wasn’t this cautious in the past, never!
Footwear
– I tried to put on cover shoe when I’m Travelling to work. No, this is just not me! I hate wearing cover shoe, but to be extra careful especially on slippery floor I better be extra safe. I couldnt risk putting little one on the line.
Heavy objects
– I try to seek for help whenever I need to carry or move any objects. Especially they weigh quite a bit. In the past I would just try to drag it, but no not gonna try to act tough/hero and then lead to anything bad!
Slow in motion
– whenever I’m alone especially, I walk Extremely slow, like some old granny. Yeah, I just want to Ensure that I am safe. I mean there isn’t any rush, so why rush?
Manicure
– one of my Favourite. There isn’t a day that I’ll have my nails naked. But because a lot of saying that it is chemical, hence we should avoid it in order not to cause any harm to the baby. Yeah! Probably 6months without any paints! Sobs!
Hairdo
– it’s really tedious to straighten my hair every time! If only I could just visit the salon and get it done once and for all. Sigh, then again because of the chemical! π©
All the things that I’m not used to, and will not do/follow if little one is not growing in my tumtum. I see how little one is slowly changing my life, for the better. Mummy thank god for blessing me such an amazing gift. As you grow in my tumtum, mummy learn too! Thank you for coming into mummy & daddy. π we love you very much! & we really hope to see you soonβ€οΈ
So after the food cravings post. I’m suddenly motivated to actually blog about what I’ve been really eating a lot throughout my pregnancy π€ I don’t know if anyone is keen, but yknow I couldnt care much.
So…..
McDonald Hotcake
– suddenly this became one of my Favourite breakfast. π I would have it almost on every other weekend. & the surprising thing is that I could finish the entire set all by myself, which I couldn’t do it even having the little one π€
Apple
– healthy fruit I suppose. So I’m eating this so frequently almost daily. Even until today I’m still eating it Everyday and I’m loving it. I Guess baby is loving it too uh! π but it shall be something good!
Red bean/White Lotus paste pau
– usually I would go for white lotus paste, red bean pau is just a substitute. π I love the one located behind my house! The filling is so much and the bun is so soft! If I did not had McDonald for breakfast, I’ll probably have this! π
Vegetables
– indulging in vegetables! I love it, in fact I would choose vegetables over meats! But still, I don’t take broccoli, lady finger, apasergus….. basically all the vegetables I don’t eat, I still don’t eat now π
Fish
– I love fish a lot, and I think I’ve been eating a lot of fish.. all kinds, steamed and fried. Yums! π
Starbucks
– since I’m not able to drink the cold drinks, I still have hot chocolate. So basically I drank quite a fair bit of hot chocolate throughout this 39 weeks. π loving the thickness in scent and flavour!
KOI
– especially the hazelnut milk tea. For some reason I just kept giving myself excuses to drink it π but really, life’s too short to have too much restriction π
Hot Milo
– because hubby say no to cold drinks, so here I am drinking hot Milo most of the time. I even drank it sometimes before my bedtime. Worst still, I can end up drinking multiple cups of Milo in a day π© so I think I have finished like 2big pack of Milo powder, currently on my 3rd big pack. Yeah, that’s how much I had during my 39weeks. & hubby probably drank like less than 10 cups. So just imagine the number of cups I had π
Cream cracker
– im sure everyone surely have ate it. The ping pong brand…. usually I had this together with my hot milo, at least yknow it filled my tummy quite a bit so I won’t need to go to be feeling hungry. & I finished like 2-3 packs + 1 big tin! Obviously I don’t have it all to myself, I’m not selfish uh!
Okayyyyy. Right now I couldn’t really think of anything much. Probably if I think of it, I’ll just add on? π
Cravings!
Okay la! It’s not exactly cravings, but more of the foods & drinks I wanna have before I start my confinement. πͺπͺπͺ I really really hope to endure that 28-30 days! I’ll continue to count down, just like how I did for the little one.
Yes! I definitely can do it right?? Not so tough right?? I survived carrying the little one in my tummy for 39weeks! So what’s 4 weeks of confinement π€
& then……
I wanna have my……
Char kuey tiao from Bukit Batok central
– tried a mouthful when sil order, I love the taste! & for anyone info, I will, never eat char kuey tiao because I hate the oily-ness. But I’ve already eating it twice through my pregnancy. I doubt I even had it once per year before I got the little one. π€
KOI
– I’m a fan of bubble tea especially KOI & GONGCHA. But then again, I’m having it so frequently through my 39weeks, and FYI I only drink hazelnut milk tea! Which I don’t even drink it way before I had the little one. Weird? Change of taste? Anyway I used to love caramel milk tea, so I bought gongcha caramel milk tea one day because the queue at KOI is horrible and I regretted it badly. So the next day I went to buy KOI hazelnut milk tea π absolutely loving it!
Crepe
– yes! I would frequent visit Bugis Street last time for my manicure and would always buy this crepe at level 2! Nomnom! So….. one fine day, I realise JCube does have one of it stalls!!!!! But I didn’t eat it that day because I kept having sweet tooth and had too much sweet dessert so hubby say no! But I wanna have it before the arrival of the bub! π
Ah balling from golden mile complex
– noms! Another great food to have! In fact it’s both hubby and my Favourite! Sadly, the carpark were so crowded last Friday so we decided to skipped it. But so gonna find a day to go back somewhere this week! π
Starbucks!
– huge fan of Starbucks. In the past I always use to drink White chocolate frap! I think so? It’s been so so Long I have not touch it because it is cold + may contain coffee. So Ive moved to drinking signature hot chocolate. π the hot chocolate are equally nice as well! Something I always my choice when having hot drinks!
Sembawang white beehoon
– one of my Favourite! Had it only twice during my pregnancy. Probably because it’s like quite inconvenient and far from my house. In the past we can easily drop by there and visit my parents aftermath. π looking for other closer alternatives
Okay la! At the moment just like that. I can’t think of anything that I really really wanna eat it now. So when I think of it then I come back π
It’s been another 3 going 4 months of being away from WordPress
So far baby have been doing really good, being so active always in the morning and late at night! But it’s absolutely fine with me, at least I know she’s doing well in my tumtum.
But then again, since last fri we have visited the doctor for checkups, baby seems to have doing really fine and growing well despite me losing some weight.
Then she started giving me bad cramps at night, waking me up with the pain. From fri, sat and Sunday. So we decided to drop by the hospital for a check to see if everything was okay. Got strapped down because of the ctg scan while hubby head down the counter for admission & condition was on and off and I have no idea why! Over at the hospital, I had my first cervix checked by the nurse with 2cm dilation.
Oh my holy mama! I didn’t expect how it was done and how painful it has gotten me. I swear I was so close to kicking the nurse. So when hubby is back, I couldn’t felt so helpless and the pain is taking over my emotion and then I just suddenly started crying. π
Not Long after I cleaned my face up, doctor came to visit cause he happen to be in the hospital. & then I suppose he notice my reddish eye because he mention “you just cried?” Oh dear so paiseh π¦
Was asked to take more walk in the labour ward corridor lobby so my cervix will further. & I did that but cervix just refused to! So was made to send up to the normal ward for rest until night time, I decided to make a trip back to labour ward as I feel pain.
Then when I arrived back at the labour ward the pain just disappeared but was put on monitoring again. So during the night I was still taking walk around the place hoping that to further increase the dilation, but nope! Nothing changes even after 12hours since 10am in the morning.
So I was so call warded. Doctor came to visit me the next morning for check again, and nope nothing improves. So he decided to send me for ultrasound scan so make sure baby is doing really good and fine in my tummy. & so yes, it happen to be baby doing all fine, enjoying, great in my tumtum. No bad position, no Low in waterbag, perfect weight. apparently she is doing so fine!
Went back to the ward, and Nurses told me that they will fax in the report to my doctor to see what he will suggest. After minutes later, nurse came back and told me doctor suggest me to transfer to normal ward, yes again, and stay for another night. & the thought of the hospital just strike me. So I was telling the nurse if I could just get myself discharge where they aren’t able to do anything without the consent of the doctor. But the nurse is kind enough to dial up my doctor so that I could speak to him over the phone. & what he suggested was to stay over another night and see if the pain is still there and he would really consider inducing labour the next day if needed. I was still in the blur state so I agreed.
Head back to the normal ward to take some rest! Because I only slept for 2 hours the night before! Oh, did I mention doctor asked me to walkkkkkk. & I was told by the nurse that doctor will pay a visit during the night. So after the lunch, I was tired that I fell asleep, and during my sleep doctor pay a visit and caught me sleeping! & the first thing he said was “aren’t you suppose to be walking, why are you sleeping?” Sigh! Doctor you know I very tired not? & ive been walking the whole day, just that you didn’t know/see. But I Guess I was so tired and blur, because I got a shock to see him.
So he popped the question, so you want to go home is it? & I say yup. So he say ok Lor go home. Because there wasn’t any pain at all for the past few hours that’s why I can napped so soundly! We also question why can’t he induce today since he was thinking to induce tomorrow. & his reason was, baby is doing fine and he really didn’t want to induce as it is more painful and suffering for the Mom(me) rather than the baby. So there isn’t a need to do it. Since we also felt that baby is doing fine, I suppose there isn’t a rush to evict the baby out from her comfort zone, so we decided to head home for better rest!
The nurse are good that they didn’t charge me for the 1/2 day as it’s already past 12pm! Thankful for that, but the bill still adds up to approximately $1k for the 1 day stay. π great lesson learnt!
Headed home, and was suppose to take a rest but some work issues popped up. Yup, hubby was unhappy because I was supposed to rest. I see his face full of tiredness, heartache, and helplessness through that few days. & he really wants me to have a good rest.
By the time I were to rest it’s almost 530pm! So we were deciding where shall we head to for dinner & popped by my mums place to collect some stuff. Then hubby also suggested to visit IMM for some short shopping trips. Some melted moments, suddenly hubby become extra caring and loving towards me after seeing through the pain I gone through. Despite being tired we went on to IMM to get some necessity. Headed home and decided to KO!
So I replenished my sleepless night with 15hours of quality sleep!
Through these days, I’m more thankful to have him beside me. I would be so lost without him around. Love you my superhero β€οΈ
71 days since the last update on my baby. & no I don’t want to sound like an overly attached Mommy with every single post filled with baby. But then again, I think it’s normal isn’t it π
Before that let me rewind a little, 5th may we had plan for one of the bosses, Levi. Surprise party for him, this year with a way simpler version just cake and present. Glad that he love that LV sunshade we got for him. & it just suits his face. It’s always the thoughts that counts I suppose βΊοΈ
6th May, went on a checkup and hoping to know the baby gender. But to our disappointment, baby refuse to let us know. After waiting for a month and yet we need to wait for another month. But seeing how active baby could get over the ultrasound, I think it’s more than enough to know he/she is doing well. *blessed* meantime, I think I start to feel a little tiny wiggling legs and arms moving. But as the days goes by, I’m more sure that yes, those are the legs and arms moving/kicking/punching my belly. The funny but also happy feelings got me overwhelmed.
Waited patiently for the next checkup which took ages to arrive. Yes both me & the man were excited to find out the baby gender. the whole checkup at Nuh took nearly 30min, the longest time ever we get to look at the little one. & then now we can see the fully formed tiny feets and arms. So tiny and yet so strong. Those kicks and punches that wakes me up Everyday in the morning and in the night.
Specially dedicate this post to the man I’m living with for the past 4years & will continue to for the rest of my life, the Father of my child.
Read this story multiple times during different phrase of my life and still feel emotional each time after reading it.
In just this article, I’m like the Wife and he’s like the Husband. In life, every time I always expect to have some little surprise, a little more romance. While for him, he’s more of a realistic man. No fanciful flowers or presents on special occasions. But he just has got his own ways to always make me feel safe with him around.
Despite many attempts of hurting him in all ways, & I know in someways it could have killed him. Nevertheless, he still stood by stronger each time. Being the pillar of support of mine, giving me the most genuine advices that I always hate to hear because the truth hurts. I salute him being always consistent for doing the things the he love. Perhaps is his never give up attitude that makes me unknowingly rely on him even more.
On days like that, when he’s away for his diving trip, 11 good days. Here I am suddenly feeling all so empty inside. Probably it’s the hormones acting up or probably its really been very Long he wasn’t away for this Long.
Ever since the day he found out about my pregnancy. He became even more caring and helpful in all ways. He is trying to make his logic sounds logical to me, no cold drinks! & I see him quit drinking cold drinks too because it’s never a easy task for me. He prepare breakfast for me Every morning, just so I could take my supplement in the morning so I will not forget not having it when I bring to work. He drove me Everyday he could to the mrt just so I could save the time waiting for bus, and walk lesser. He cook and buy me the food I always wanted to eat without fail, just to satisfied my craving. That’s the small little actions that he does makes me feel like the most blissful woman on earth.
Many times I think to myself, do I really deserve to have someone treating me like how he does even I have hurt him countless times. But no matter how I push him away, no matter how deep the hurt I’ve brought to him, he forgive me, he take me back. Loving me still the same as before, or even more. So that I won’t follow the bad path.
I’m always stubborn in my very own ways, but he respected me at the end of the day. Letting me do the things I want, being with the kind of friends I want. And hereby, right now, all I could do for him right now is to really take care of myself so that our child will be healthy and growing well. the last thing for him to worry about me & the one in my tummy right now.
Thank god for all the small little surprise and gift to me. For letting this man to stay here with me be it rain or shine. For letting me see a clearly view of how much I needed this man every single time to be here to share my joy and happiness. Let’s together build a happy family, for you, me and our future child. π
yesterday 