Three months ago today we were handed a teeny but talkative little girl. Although she was engaging and pleasant at that first meeting, inside she was anxious and frightened and had no idea what was happening to her world. Her brave face couldn't stay forever, and we saw that fear come out as the minutes passed that day, and during the rest of our time in China. She was doing great all things considered, but she would tremble and cry at the drop of a hat and we knew she was grieving and afraid. I am happy to say that the frightened little peanut we met 3 months ago is now a happy, feisty, fun loving little girl. That day was life changing for her and for all of us!
Kate rolled over the two and half year old mark just a couple of weeks ago, and I've been meaning to record some of her habits and changes since she came home. It's been less than 2 months since the last update, but she has changed so much it seems! The biggest change is probably her language and her ability to communicate. I'll be honest and say that was by far our biggest challenge in that first month or so. Although she could speak clearly and was often great at telling us exactly what she wanted, every now and then we would hit a wall where she couldn't say it and we couldn't guess it and we would both be about to explode with frustration. Luckily those times were fairly rare, and when she couldn't say it she at least understood me when I said, "Show me". And really we have felt very fortunate that she can communicate so well. Now she can say just about everything and she for sure understands everything we say. The other night she wanted something, and I went into this whole speech about how Ben was going to have it first and we were going to go change her clothes and then there may not be time for her to have a turn before we had to go to carpool for Anna and Noah. Even as I was saying it, I knew I was saying too much and I had probably lost her. But when I wrapped up my speech, it was clear by her actions that she knew exactly what I had explained. She talks all day long and she has recently started putting little sentences together like, "Mom, look at me and Ben!" when they're playing. Her very favorite thing to say is, "Mom, watch this!" or "Mom, look at me!" or even just "Mom! Mom! Mom!"! Beyond the little sentences and understanding there are just little speech things that I took for granted with the other kids, but that I'm just loving with her. Like when I explain something and she says, "Okay, mama". That first month or so she would just nod to show she understood, so the little "okay" is fun. She says please and thank you and excuse me and sorry in all the right contexts now, and she will yell out a really loud, "Bless you!" if someone sneezes in another room. She is being evaluated for speech therapy in the next few weeks, not so much because we have major concerns, but more because it is a free and really great quality service provided in our city for all kids.It will be great to see what they can help her with if she does qualify.
She didn't like getting a bath at first, but now she LOVES it. She will not only dump water on her head now, but this past week she started laying on her back so that the water is all around her face and she just laughs and laughs. She's definitely learned to love pools and splash parks too. She still calls her bath her, "xĭzăo" (pronounced kind of like shee zow) like we did in China, and now all 4 kids know it's bath time when we start talking about xĭzăo. Kate especially will run up and down the hall yelling it over and over. Hilarious, especially when she's wrapped in her cat face hooded towel.
She is still a great eater, and will eat just about anything, though she for sure has her likes (yogurt) and dislikes (zucchini). She and Anna are my best eaters, Noah in close second, and Ben, well.....let's just say we had a party the other night when he ate one bite of sweet potato. So when Kate will wolf down black beans and rice, roasted broccoli, a bowl of spicy chili, quiche, any kind of soup....this mama is happy!
Sleep continues to be great. She goes to bed easily and sleeps all night. For the first 6 weeks or so at home, she didn't nap. She was sleeping through the night and not acting sleepy mid-day, so we didn't mess with it. We also knew soon I would be doing multiple daily carpool trips and naps would be hard to squeeze in anyway. Plus she was 2 and 4 months, which was about the age both Anna and Ben stopped taking good naps. But as she got more comfortable here, she would show signs that she was sleepy. Luckily naps were just like bed time. We could read her a few stories, rock her for 10 minutes in her chair, and she would be out cold and would sleep for 2 hours or more. Sounds perfect, right? Not so much. Because we quickly noticed on those days that she took a good nap, bedtime took about 5 times as long as it should. Once she was asleep she would still sleep through the night, but rocking for an hour only to have her sit up and laugh and bounce on your lap is a tad maddening. So naps had to go. This is exactly what we did with Noah. He would probably STILL nap if given the chance, but having him wide awake at 10pm just wasn't worth it. So Kate may rub her eyes a bit after lunch, but she doesn't get cranky or sad so we just keep on playing, and she's doing great. It's nice to still have the option to give her a nap if needed, and we've done that a few times, but most days now she just stays up. There's always at least one sibling here for her to play with!
Potty training starts very soon....as soon as I can force myself to do it. Is that bad to say out loud? I love being a mom, but potty training is definitely not high on my list of favorite things to do with the kids. Kate's orphanage told us that she was completely day trained, but that she would need a diaper if we went out and about. Hmmmmm...interesting. Sure enough we found out that "potty trained" meant that all of the babies were made to sit on little potties and watch TV until they went. Not quite the same as here. So in China we did diapers full time and we have since we've been home. But since the day we met her Kate has told us every single time she has gone and now says, "Mama, change you?" until we do. So I know she's ready. I bought some Pull-Ups this week with ladybugs on them which made her super excited and the little underpants I took to China still hang off of her some, but last night she sat on the potty and went. We threw a huge party of course! I'm still not officially training her, but she may just go ahead without me!
Just like her older sister before her, she sometimes likes to go up to her room and change into new "outfits" when no one is looking. Fancy.
She's grown physically too. Luckily we haven't been to the doctor again since the crazy nose incident, but I can tell by looking at her that she has gained a little more weight. The other night I put her cat pjs on her after her bath. In China those pants were down to the tops of her feet but now they're up near her ankles! She's still teeny - wearing a size 18-24mos mostly - but she's growing. Her hair has grown a ton too. I'm planning to let it grow, but the other day I did have to trim a few stray hairs that were in her eyes. When I walked toward her with the scissors she closed her eyes and tilted her face up to me. She had definitely had a trim before because she knew just what to do!
She's sweet and spunky and friendly. She loves other kids and adults, but she definitely knows who is her family and who isn't. This past week she stayed in the church nursery for a whole service, yahoo! The first month home she sat on our laps and stayed with us the whole time. Then for a month I sat in the nursery with her, leaving for a few minutes each time to see how she did. When she was able to stay without me for 30 minutes I decided to try a whole service, and she did it! She was not happy going in and she cried as I walked out. But our church has 2 way mirror windows on the childcare rooms, so every time I've left I've been able to watch her and see how she's doing. At first she would cry unless someone was holding her, but little by little she began to break off and go play with some of the toys. On that last week I watched her I even saw her dancing around the room with one of the volunteers during the songs! Today was day one of my Bible study, which is 2 hours instead of one like a weekend service. I told them they could call me out if she was too upset, but they never did! She cried when I left, but they said she calmed down after a few minutes and didn't cry again at all! SUCH an answer to prayer, I can't even tell you!! Our social worker said it's okay if she cried going in as long as she's happy to come back to us and knows that I'm her mom, not the volunteers. Well there is no question that she knows I'm mom, so I am thrilled to be able to go to a service again and be a part of my study. And Kate came out today singing the little Bible songs that they teach the kids. Win win!
Took this through the mirror window this past Sunday. You can see me cheesing in the reflection. I was so happy to see her playing that I almost cried!
I'll stop here before this gets any longer, but we are just so proud of how far this little lady has come in the last three months. We still have things that we're working on and we will be for years I'm sure, but she's really doing so well. The other night Kate was already in bed and the older three asked if they could watch the end of a movie, so I sat down behind them and waited for it to go off. I stared at their three little heads, and tried to remember what it was like when they were everything, when looking at three meant they were all here and I could rest easy. But I couldn't get there. Even though she was just down the hall, one of my babies wasn't with me, and no matter how I tried to remember the feeling of only having three, that little fourth was still holding her place in my heart. God broke my heart for her that very first time I saw her photo, and I'm so glad she has moved right into that space now!
