Our Journey

Well...we had a very nice weekend with Alina. Andy got to spend a good bit of time with her. He carried her everywhere we went: on his shoulders, in arms, or pushed the stroller. Great break for Mommy. It was also good because she got more comfortable with him. She really loves her Daddy. She actually easier on him than me I guess because he's not the primary at this time. We went to church and then drove to Tuscaloosa to see family who haven't been well recently. She was charming and played up a storm. She doesn't go to other people but she's happy to play from Mommy or Daddy's lap. Which I like because she likes people and attention, but isn't indescriminate which is something you should be concerned about with an adoptive child.

I expressed some of my attachment concerns in my last post, well I started doing somethign about it. One website A4everfamily.org give some suggested games and activities to stimulate eye contact which is one of the best attachement builders. It's called the kissing game. She thinks it's a hoot and looks at me when we do it. I stick one of her favorite snacks or anything food related that is interesting...mostly cherrios between my lips. Then I make her take them with her lips...like a little bird. She grins while she does it and grabs with her teeth but I've gottend some drooly slobbery kisses out of it. And she looks directly at me the whole time.

Another interaction is sitting in my lap while we play with a ball. It's just a minor holding time and no eye contact but she likes to play with me and not alone all the time. We send the ball against the couch and it bounces back.

The third thing we started this morning and it's the hardest. We spent almost 45 minutes with her hollering in my lap. I wouldn't let her get out because I wanted her to relax. This technique is called 'holding time' developed by Martha Welch, MD. She was hollering but there were no tears and after a while she finally heaved a big sigh and settled and when I talked to her she would look me right in the eye. When we settled down for her bottle and then I rocked her for a nap. She was much easier to get to relax.

So I'm going to try that everyday.

According to the book and my friends who have used it. They said it gets easier and builds trust. Originally when she would fuss and want to get down we woudl just let her. I still will if she just wants to play, but if I want to cuddle and relax that's something we're going to have to work on. It's not easy, especially when she's such a happy munchkin when you aren't holding her. But I want her to be equally happy when I am.

Her 1st birthday is this Thursday. I'm so excited we got her home in time. We're going to have a shindig with friends and their kids this weekend. I have to shop for that today and get everything together. I hope it goes well and I can do her nap on Saturday enough so she's in a bouncy mood for cake stuffing time.

Love to all.

Well, now that we've been home for three weeks...I have finally settled into the "Mommy" role for the most part. I know how to feed, bathe, and mostly satisfy my daughters basic needs. But now I'm having to start looking at the deeper issues for her long term health and happiness.

She's an adopted child and I'm reading about attachment. Alina shows great signs of starting to attach pretty strongly with me. She turns to me for comfort and I'm able to give it, she prefers me because I'm her primary caregiver, she cries when she's hurt, and she gets upset when I leave the room and then she finds out I'm still in the house but she can't see me. These are good and bad things. Good because it shows attachment, but bad because it's just me. She's more and more comfortable with Andy, but it's a slower road. She sees and spends more time with him on the weekends and about 15-20 minutes in the morning and an hour in the afternoon.

That will change in June when he gets out of school, but then I'm leaving to go back to work and my time with her will change to what he has now. I'm afraid of her feeling abandoned and 'trauma'. This is something that kids who are adopted generally feel. She didn't exhibit a lot of 'loss/trauma' when we took her from her caregivers at the orphanage. And I know she was very fond of them. So is this a bad thing that we haven't seen that grief or are we just not seeing it yet?

Daycare will start sometime in July and that's another concern.

Just venting my worries here loved ones. Hope you comment.

Love to all.

As of yesterday, we have had Alina one month. Seems almost impossible that much time has passed.

I feel like she's been a part of our lives for so long. I'm still getting used Mommyness...but I can't imagine my world without her already. She's gotten to the point that she smiles when we go in to get her up in the morning. Well, let me say only if she was already waking up. My daughter is definately one who has to warm up in the mornings sometimes. But some days, I'll come and say 'Good morning sweetie' and she lights up like a Christmas tree with that big smile.

We're working on the food balancing act and I've come to the conclusion that Alina needs something on the hour every hour. Whether it's just a few cherrios and a sip of water, milk, or juice. Got to have something. Keeps kiddo very happy.

The moving off from formula is easy. She doesn't blink at the difference between Formula and Warm milk at all. She likes both, but we're still supplementing her diet with the formula until it runs out. In the meantime, I'm coming up with creative kid foods to help make my life easier for changeover.

One recipe I found uses ground turkey or ground chicken mixed with carrotts, apples, a pinch of time, pinch of black pepper, bread crumbs, and a very little onion. I made little bit sized meatballs out of that. I'm going to freeze some of them. A friend does that for her son. She likes them. I'm also going to start trying to work our dinner plans around meals that can be used for her. I'm supplementing with Gerber because it's easy...but SOO expensive. We're moving away from that.

If you have any good finger food ideas with good protien for a infant/toddler...post them in the blog comments.

I'm also working this week on finalizing plans for Alina's 1st Birthday. We're going to have a party on May 2nd to celebrate her arrival/B-day. Anyone know ideas for infant/toddler games??

Love to all.

The couple (our new friends) that we stayed with in Moscow in January are finally on their final trip to pick up their son this weekend. I'm so excited for them. It's been a month longer wait for them. We were truly blessed to be able to bring Alina home so quickly. All of the time fell exactly so that I could stay home until Andy gets out of school and then were' going to do daycare after that.

I think in June were going to do one day per week of day care and then later in the month two days. That will help with the transition a little bit.

We're in the process of planning Alina's first birthday shindig. I'm so excited because my Mom finally can come up and meet Alina. She's staying for a week.

We're also going to travel in May to visit grandparents which will be fun, but definately mess with the schedule.

We definately are a good morning napper. No morning nap the rest of the day goes haywire. She was up all day yesterday because we missed the morning nap becuase I had a doctors appointment and then she had a doctors appointment. Not a good combination of activities. But we got a great bill of health for Alina accept for some Anemia, which can be overcome with iron rich vitamins in her milk and/or more meat consumption. She loves meat so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Love to all.

Happy Easter to all my friends and family out there still following our blog.

We had a nice Easter visit with Andy's mother. Alina was so cute in her Easter frock. I couldn't get her to smile for the picture though. But here she is in all her cuteness.




She was due for her morning nap around 10am, but we were in church at 11am. She managed church great by sleeping in my lap. There was a soft snoring coming from the back row of church. I hope they didn't think it was me.

She ate a great big Easter meal today. She's a huge fan of peas because she can pick them up, shreded ham, and mash potatoes.

Happy Easter again and much love to all.

Well....morning naps are doing better than the afternoon ones did for sure. She goes down about 10am and goes for a good two hours. She's in a good mood after that AM nap and makes it pretty well until about 5pm. She's cranky until Dad comes home and then gets reved up when she sees him.

We've had a few transitions for her this week that have worked amazingly well. After working on it for 4 days, we were successful in introducing Sippy cups. Also, I got permission from her pediatritian to start on whole milk so I can supplement the formula a little bit. She's been eating us out of house and home.

I've established something of a feeding scheduled becuase she's always hungry.

6:30-7:00 - Get up--change diaper--get formula bottle
7:00-8:00--play-Maybe change diaper
8:00--Eat cereal-Maybe change diaper
8:00-9:00--play, play, play -- Maybe change diaper
9:00-9:45--play, play, play--Maybe change diaper
10:00 bottle, snuggle, goes to sleep (yeah)

12:00-12:30 - Wakeup- Definately change diaper

Afternoon schedule is usually more messed up because that's when I go shopping or something. We're still working on that. If I can get her to take a nap in the afternoons I will, but she's mostly resisting that.

After 5pm, we get back on a schedule

5pm--feed, maybe change diaper
5:30-Daddy comes home and plays for a while
6:00-play, play, play-maybe change diaper
6:30- bath
7:00-snuggle and work to try and get her to sleep

Other than all of this, that's pretty much what we're doing. Got a cute cute Easter picture made last Sunday at Walmart. If you want a copy, email me.

Love to all.

Well, we've started this week a little rough. We're trying to establish the schedule for Alina...it's actually been harder this week than last week. We tried messing with her nap schedule to see if she would do better with a one nap a day than two naps a day. That's not going so well. She used to sleeping two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon after eating.

That seems to work well for her, but it's also difficult when you have to go to the doctor or anything else. I've tried the late afternoon nap arouund 12:30-3pm for two days. I'm going to try a mid-morning nap tommorrow and then and afternoon one again which is traditional and see how she does. If it works, then it works. We will have to learn to work around it. :)

Much love to all.

Well, we've survived our first week. Been a little rough week for Alina because we had to do time change, give blood at the doctor Wednesday, re-figure food out again, etc. Poor baby has been on an emotional roller coaster. She started the week running for an hour or more with hyper-activity, eating, then getting hyper active again and then collaping into nap time.

Today was much better though. Seems like she's finally getting into a rhythm.

We've gotten off of just formula since Wednesday. We have been trying different foods to see about taste. Formula is a staple for a while to help with her vitamins and catching up developmentally. But she's a hungry little peanut all the time. Seems like she's doing a growth spurt. We had pasta on Wednesday mushed up. She liked that. Takes a while to naw on the noodle...can't do the chicken becuase there's not enough teeth quite yet. This morning was hysterical because we had oatmeal with banana and she likes to take a bite and then stuff her fingers into her mouth. Well...as you can imagine...this ends up going to the forehead, the hair, the lap, everywhere. She uses the shovel method, not delicate at all.

We're doing good though.

Much love to all.