First:

James and Jones and I took a road trip to Seattle a couple weekends ago to go to Ashley Strickler's wedding. During the ride we listened to the new Hillsong United CD. (Its a great CD and you can download it for free on Hillsong's website right now.) One of the songs is called "Desert Song" and it is amazing. Ever since my moment with God the last time I wrote, I have loved being connected, in tune, and excited about being a child of God.

Side note: James and I just had a conversation about how silly it is for people to complain that it is impossible to worship to a song they've never heard. Sometimes I am the most moved when it is brand new and fresh.

Anyway, I love that this song is truly about worship. I get frustrated with some of the songs that are on the radio that are so self-centered rather than just worshiping and loving God. I think it has become somewhat of a fad to write songs about how tough times are and to be especially raw and honest about your walk with God. The problem is that most of them don't resolve or give much of a hope message, so it leaves you feeling like you can relate but empty. This song; however, talks about bringing praise no matter what. I love that the verses talk about every area of life: the dry desert, the refining fire, the battle, and the prosperous harvest. Then in the middle of it all the praise just builds and then the best part is that it ends with the words "I know I'm filled to be emptied again, this seed I've received I will sow. " What an amazing charge and responsibility!!!! Listen to it, every single word.

Second:

James has been out of work for several months now and nothing seems to be working out. It has been a great time of faith and soul-searching for both of us. It has been such a great growing experience for us as a couple and as a family. Lately, James has begun to feel a true calling to lead our congregation in worship. Not just plan the Sunday morning worship service, but be a worship leader and teach our people to be worshipers. He is devoted to making this his number one life priority and knows that everything else will work itself out. He is still looking for work, but money is not his driving force anymore. Its pretty crazy and exciting! The most amazing thing about it all is that God has truly provided everything we need! Even though we don't have the income we had before we still have groceries, our bill are paid, and there's still a little money in the bank. The most amazing provision came this afternoon when all of our hospital debt from having a baby was taken care of! I had completely forgotten that I have been paying into an Xpress Flex fund for the past year as part of my benefits package. I got some mail from them a few days ago and decided to look into what they actually covered. We met with a lady today, gave her our claim for and a copy of all our bills and there will be a check in the mail by the end of the week. Done. Paid for. I can't even believe it. God is so good.

Lastly:

We have been on the Early Church planning team for the past couple years. We love our church, but there is a lot of frustration that goes along with being behind the scenes. Recently, our pastor has really challenged the group to re-evaluate how we do things. This is something James and I have been pushing for a long time, so we are so excited to start seeing this forward movement. I am so excited to see where Early Church is headed. There are a ton of things that I'm excited about but I'll only share one. The pastor has challenged the congregation to memorize our benediction, Romans 15:13. As I was reading on Thursday morning I decided to look up the context of the verse. I like to read passages in more than one translation, so I had out The Message and NLT versions. I started with The Message and as I turned to chapter 15 I noticed that I had several underlines on ch.12. I started there and fell in love with it. It is a familiar passage but it sounded so fresh. Don't you love the Living Word of God?! What a powerful mission statement for our leadership team, especially the second half of the chapter. Then I moved on to ch. 15 and loved it too. What a great charge to the congregation and to James as the worship leader. It even talks about being a choir! What a novel idea to have our vision be cast by scripture; to model all of our planning after and measure it against God's word. Sometimes the simplest things are the most mind blowing!

Its one of those verses that we learn as kids and don't think about a whole lot. Its so funny to me when one of these things that has become so simple gets all stirred up and new again. I just had that moment with this verse tonight. I'm in Kansas with Claire and we just had a really great conversation about life. It was one of those conversations where everything I was saying to her was ringing in my own ears. God is so good at pointing out the log in our own eye isn't He?:) I needed to hear those words as much as anyone. Then while I was in the bathroom I accidentally overheard her quote that verse as she talked to Ryan and it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

I have so many things stirring inside me, so I'll only share one thing. This is what the verse is saying to me: It is so simple!!! All of the answers were right there all along!  Trust God with everything in you. Don't worry about what you know or don't know. Don't stress out about what you understand or don't understand. Basically, don't worry about your brains, but in everything that you do acknowledge Him; praise him and give him credit for being there and guiding you. Then once you have done these simple things He will direct your paths! I love that the path part is so short and simple. The path is the least significant part of the verse. Its almost as if its saying, "You leave the path up to me. I've got it taken care of. All I need you to do are these few simple instructions." 

So, don't worry so much about the path; the end result, just focus on trusting him and praising  him and thanking him for his company, and the rest will fall into place. Thats the adventure! The plan is taken care of. 

Well...the other night I was lying on the couch playing a game on my phone when I really felt nudged to use my time more wisely and get out my Bible. So I closed the game and sat up, but noticed that I had emails. Needless to say, 20 minutes later I had completely forgotten about getting out my Bible. While I was checking email and playing on Facebook there was a commercial on TV to feed starving children in Africa. Unlike the typical commercial of this type, this commercial went more in depth with little kids that were so sick and families so desperate. It just broke my heart and I got all choked up, so I changed the channel. I continued playing online when I got to an email my mom had sent a few days earlier with a video clip called Eliot's 99 Days. I hadn't watched it so I pulled it up. Its a father reading letters he had written to his (first unborn) then newborn son. Eliot had Trisomy 18 which meant he wouldn't live. Each letter talked about how excited they were for each day that Eliot overcame. They celebrated a birthday each day and cherished every single thing this little guy accomplished just by being alive. He lived to be 99 days old and even after his death the letters were so thankful for the time they were blessed with Eliot's life. Needless to say it was a tear-jerker. However, it moved me at a deeper level than just a touching story. My heart was wrenched and I wept. I was overcome with a love that I've never known for my precious baby boy. It can not even be explained. I finally had a spiritual moment where God was able to reach me through the very thing that was distracting me from him. That thought just blew me away. My heart was moved from an email and by babies! Then my sweet husband motioned me to come sit with him and when I got there he was looking through all of the pictures of our life together so far. All I could think was "Why did I get so lucky? Why is mine perfect? I know You have called me to something greater than myself and have reaffirmed that by giving me this perfect child. You have reaffirmed it by giving me my soulmate. You have reaffirmed it by showing me a commercial and instead of wanting to give money I want to move there and fix it." I just found out that two of my friends from school that just announced their pregnancies lost their babies in the same week. That completely tears me apart. Why them? The whole experience was a huge pile of emotion. It was emotion that I needed to feel out loud for once. All of it together was so extremely humbling yet so powerful and so clear. That night I stood by the nursery door and prayed. I prayed real prayers from the bottom of my heart for the first time in a long time. Then I went to bed and fell asleep in a long overdue state of connectedness with God. It has been 4 days since then and I have been able to read my Bible a couple times and spend small chunks of time quietly with the Lord without distraction. Its a start. I have been moved and I love it.

Thanks, God, for doing that.

Claire is flying in tomorrow and I can't wait!! I've been dying for her to get here. James parents are coming on Saturday so that will be fun to have them here too. They have only gotten to meet him on ichat. 

Yesterday we busted out the stroller and walked down to Flying M and the Brass Razoo to meet his Auntie Elise. She was quite maternal with him, I was very impressed! Hopefully, she gets the bug soon!! :) I've been trying to be as active as I can be while still taking it as easy as I can. I feel pretty good, but the stitches are still pretty painful. Its exciting to feel more like my old self and be able to fit better into my old clothes. I'm certainly not back to normal. I probably look like I'm about 5-6 months pregnant. My stomach is hideous! It is all floppy and smooshy. It has gotten considerably smaller in the past week though, so hopefully it will keep heading in that direction. It is a very wierd thing to lose 20 pounds in one day. I'm only 5 pounds away from being the weight I was at my first doctor's appointment. So there is light at the end of the tunnel! 

Well, I'll try to post some pictures here, but there are lots on facebook. Enjoy! 

Well, I wasn't able to avoid the stretch marks. :( They aren't very bad, and I'm really hoping that they kinda go away after the baby comes. Its a pretty big bummer though. 

During Christmas break Claire and my mom got to go to the doctor with me. It was really fun because they got to hear the baby's heart beat. It was really great to have Claire and Ryan home for a little while. We spent a lot of time together and we had a lot of fun. We also had a really good time in Salem with the Austin's. Then we got to spend some time with Nick and Mandy at Bridgeport mall and that was wonderful. 

I'm posting a few more pictures. Don't be alarmed, I'm kinda huge!! I just sort of exploded over the last month or so. I'll put a picture of the nursery too. It still needs a few finishing touches, but its really close. James is working on a bookshelf, I'm making some rugs, and we are going to paint a few things on the walls. 

Probably the next time you hear from me I'll be a mom!! I love you all!

The good news is...

I love my friends and I love my sister; they are amazing!!!!! My wonderful sister came to town for about 14 different reasons and she threw me a shower. So, all of my amazing friends came over and we got to spend the weekend together. It was such a great weekend. I miss my sister so much, and I miss having my friends close. Each moment we got to spend together was priceless. 

Lastly, the nursery is pretty much done! We had to redo the floor, so there has been a week long setback but its pretty much done! I finally got a rocking chair and it is so perfect. Now we just need to start adding a little bit of a personal touch. Kate got me this awesome book of baby sewing projects, so I can't wait to get started on them. 

I think thats all for now. 

I was quite sick for the first 15 weeks or so. It was not fun. Fortunately, I started feeling much better about a week after school started. I think I might not have survived if I'd been sick during school. I still get sick occasionally, but nothing major. The other good thing is that food no longer completely dominates my life. It definitely holds high priority, but nothing compared to the first trimester. I haven't had any real cravings except that I find myself wanting ice cream and sugar more than I ever have before. 

I didn't gain any weight in the first four months, but at my last visit I had gained 6 pounds!! My tummy just popped out over the course of about 2 weeks. Now I definitely look pregnant. Its amazing how just a little change in my size has made me so uncomfortable. I'm not sure I'm looking forward to how uncomfortable I'll be when I'm huge. 

Overall I think I have had a very easy pregnancy so far. I have not dealt with the emotional issues; no mood swings. I haven't had any wild cravings in the middle of the night.  James and I have never been more crazy about each other. The baby has not affected our relationship negatively at all.  I really haven't experienced many of the things that my book says I probably will. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The only thing that is a major bummer is that I have acne like you wouldn't believe! It super sucks!!!! 

Two weeks ago we had our five month ultrasound appointment and found out that we are having a boy! Right away we registered for baby stuff and started the nursery. The nursery is going to be all white except for the green crib and few gray accents on the ceiling and floor. James is going to paint a mural on the ceiling and we are going to paint the hardwood floor gray. I'm hoping to have it at least presentable by the time everyone comes for the shower. 

By the way, James has found a new calling. He has taken up woodworking. He built the crib and its beautiful. He has also made several wooden toys including a phone, car, helicopter, flying pig, and gorgeous top. Now he has several stores downtown that want to carry some of his things. There is a higher-end consignment furniture store that is really interested in his cutting boards and he just finished an awesome kitchen island to sell next week. Cool!!! 

Anyway, I think thats about it. We have decided to keep our name decision a secret for as long as possible. Just for fun! 

Oh yeah, my class has been so much fun during the process. I have one little boy that is absolutely obsessed with my stomach and hugs and kisses it multiple times a day. One day they were asking about whether they would get to come to a baby shower, and I told them that I wasn't in charge of planning the showers so I couldn't decide. Well, they were very concerned about not being invited, so a couple of them decided to plan their own shower. They made invitations and made a big announcement in front of the class. I made sure everyone knew that I had nothing to do with it, and that all questions needed to be directed to the hosts. Well, yesterday I had a huge pile of gifts, cupcakes, snacks, drinks, and balloons all waiting for me. It was so sweet. I was very impressed. 

This probably the longest post ever, but I had a lot of ground to make up. Future posts will not be as long-winded, I hope.