Shots. Prayers. Blood work. invasive procedures. Prayers. Blood work. Shots. Prayers. Blood. Sweat. Shots. tears. Prayers. Family.  It took everything I had, and then I borrowed some from my husband to get through that journey to have Chase. My tiny little lovey. Chase is such light. He was my saving grace. My angel of love and mercy. 

The word 'Mother' is so different to me. I always knew my mom loved me. But, now having my own baby, who looks at me like I can do anything; moving the moon, flying around the world, etc, makes me the happiest person I have been in my whole life. The journey to become a mommy was not easy, Chase as a newborn, did not have it easy. His life was pretty hard for a little while. Sick all the time, with reflux and everything else he managed to catch, he stayed tiny and didn't gain weight. He cried from the pain he didn't know how to deal with. He cried for other things I don't know of. His first 4 months were really hard for him. There were many tears shed in our home. 

But it gave me the opportunity to focus on just him. He didn't want anyone else. He just wanted mom. My husband said that Chase was a special blessing just for his mom, and he has been. Baby Chase is my personal gift form the Lord, and I love him with a strength and depth that is different from any other I've every known. He has made me a mom and made me a better person. Him coming to be in our family healed my heart, restored my hope, and taught me how to give of myself 100%. In the last 9 months, I have given Chase a bath every day. (sometimes 2 or 3 depending on the blowouts or food he eats) I am available to feed or hold him 24 hours a day. Anything he could need, I'm there to give it to him. Chase has been with a babysitter for a total of 6 hours that whole time (we needed to go to the temple). That is was I wanted my whole life. I wanted to be a mom. I wanted to be at his beck and call. Like most mothers, I do not consider it "taking from my time" or a trial. I consider myself blessed to be able to do these things. I am a mom, a wife and the 3rd I am me. This is my life and I am so thankful for it. So happy mothers day to me! And every other woman out there who loves her children with every single ounce of her being. 

Now... my mother. My mother is beautiful. She is gracious. She is kind, compassionate, selfless, hardworking. She is my mother. My mom is a strong lady. She grew up in a family with 1 brother and a baby sister, with parents who were not like mine. My mother didn't get to pick her life, but she made the best of it and it made her strong and taught her what she wanted and didn't want in her life. My mother became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when she was 21. She married my father in the temple and had her babies and raised us to be good people. She is the hardest working woman I know. Mother to 5, grandmother to 4, she is the arms, legs and brains of the hospital she works at, and she is going to school to get her degree in Econ. My mother is an angel. She is a mamma bear. She is my best friend (I have 3 of them.. Chase, Sean and my mom) And I love her with all my heart.  Because of her, I am who I am. I am thankful for her everyday of my life.