The Five of Us

I was thinking last night after putting Abby down for bed, how many heart melting moments there are as a mom...obviously there are plenty of "tear your hair out" moments as well...but I think of how much sappier I have become since being a mom.  And when the kiddos are good...they are goood. 
They make you forget about the flying off the couch into the Christmas tree completely disfiguring it, (Hannah)...or the sneaking and consuming so much toothpaste it induced constant vomiting and caused a call to the Poison Control Center (Abby), or the moment they found the teeniest puddle in the backyard and managed to lose their nice church shoes and once white socks down into it (both), or the time-OK, so it makes one momentarily forget those moments.  I suppose just long enough so that when you DO remember them again you can chuckle at them instead of cry.  :)  But man...no one really prepares you for how heart melting these little people will be! 

I've gotten whispered words: "I so much love you mama." (Hannah) or "I ove you!" (Abby) or "Oh!  Mama so bootiful!" (Abby) or "Awhsome mama!" (Abby) or "Mom you are the bestest mom in the whole world." (Hannah) or "You are well loved mama...well loved." (Hannah)  I've gotten massive hugs and snuggles and kisses.  I've been sung to.  I've been snuggled so hard that any time I tried to get up to leave the room I was patted on the head and told to "Lay back mama. No leave." (Abby) I've been given a boost of confidence every time one of them tells me I'm beautiful...or gorgeous or bootiful.  I've gotten a chance to snuggle longer than maybe necessary sometimes...but it seems necessary to both of us at the time.  I've watched their sweet faces finally fall asleep after fighting it so hard or after tears over bedtime because they don't feel good or have had a rough day.   I've watched them comfort each other when the other is sad...grab a tissue for the other and dry tears when one is unhappy.  Have seen kisses and snuggles given to each other in calmer moments.  Have seen their immense enthusiasm over daddy walking through the door.  Have heard them compliment each other on their choice of clothing.  Have heard them call their daddy handsome and the best ever. Have seen the heaping amounts of love they dish out to the ones they love the best....and I love it. 
The other day I caught myself tearing up because I was watching Hannah when she didn't know it and I was overwhelmed suddenly with how tall and beautiful and grownup she looks...and I got a little teary when I noticed that Abby has outgrown yet another pair of pants and at the thought that in a month she is 2...(I told you I'm losin it over here!)  So...I guess I'm sappier that I once was...but it's sure worth it.  and now I shall document this whole blog entry and remember to reread it the next time one of these tiny people flies into the Christmas tree, or gives me a black eye from unnecessary roughness or spills a box of cheerios all over the floor or...well.  You get the idea. 

I have decided to label each year as "The year we..." this way when Adam and I are old and toothless sitting on a porch in our rocking chairs and we go to talk about an event in our past I can say, "remember that year we..." The year 2011 will be known as: The year we turned 30. The year we contracted the plague, the year I successfully planted my first garden by myself and the year of Hermanstorfer family reunion #2.
I remember at the begining of this year thinking I had so many plans before my actual 30th birthday...for example losing more weight.  However, I did not plan on getting so sick and it progressively getting worse.  Not just for me but both the girls as well.  We spent the first half of 2011 constantly sick and confined indoors. (The good news is we got to refine our baking skills). The funny thing is as a result of being so sick I did in fact eventually lose that weight I was hoping to. :)  After some time we jokingly decided we'd contracted the plague. 
This year Hannah turned 4 and Abby had her 1st birthday.  They are a hoot.  They are definitely sisters.  As Abby has become more active and verbal this has been good news...and bad news for Hannah.  It's obvious they love each other (even when I as Mama force their kindness towards each other) and each day is packed full of love and hate moments.  But when I look at how they interact with each other, and with others that make up our dear friends and family I realize I must not be messing up too badly with them, because they are very kind little people and SO full of love for the people that make up our lives.  It is obvious that as both Adam and I have made family and friends that have become family a priority they've picked up on this.  So many of you are all mentioned on a daily basis with so much love.  We are SO blessed to have the families we have and the support we gather on a daily basis from those of you near and far. 

These girls are so blessed to have two sets of grandparents that think the world of them. They both light up at the mere mention of Popsie and Gram or Poppa and Gramma.  We are so very lucky that we have the ability to see all of them on a fairly regular basis.  We also have church family that have become so dear to our little family. And the girls have many Aunties and Uncles that are constantly being mentioned in love!  We are so truly overwhelmed with love on so many sides...and so thankful for all our family. 

This year I find myself overwhelmed with love and thankfulness for this little family I've been blessed with.  Hanah just turned 4 and Abby is almost 2...and it goes so fast.  I find myself watching them and constantly thinking of how very much I love them, and their daddy.  They love each other so much and they care so much for others.  Hannah is always concerned about others.  Her prayer requests right now consist of praying for her Aunt Jen and baby Whitney and for our friend Hillary who is pregnant again. (yay!) She is always bragging about her family members and is full of so much love.  The changes in Hannah have happened in the last few months.  She has struggled almost all year with stomach and illness problems.  We have been in and out of the peditrician's office with vague or limited answers and information.  Answers were few and far between and we were getting nowhere.  At one point we found ourselves in a blood lab so they could check for any elevated levels that might spell out cancer, namely leukemia.  (It was a horrible visit one I don't like to remember, and one where she and I both left in a rare round of tears.) After more questions and getting nowhere, Adam and I decided around October to just remove her from milk/dairy completely on a whim.  She had major problems as a one year old with milk and we thought we'd re-start there. 
The difference in a matter of days was astounding!  First of all she felt much better and her appetite improved, but so did her behavior!  Suddenly the sweet girl I know her to be appeared more often than not.  In the alst couple months we've removed her from a couple other suspicious things and have seen major results.  She's been sleeping better, eating like I have NEVER and I mean NEVER seen her eat, trying foods she would have fought and cried and freaked out about even remotely tasting before...the change is amazing.  She's had an appointment with a naturopath to hopefully more clearly identify triggers and possible allergies or sensitivities...but I think every day for the last several weeks I am astounded by her sudden good nature in regards to foods!
  
And Abby...she is almost 2 and is alll about "Abby do."  She is saying SO many words I can't even list them anymore and talking in phrases and sentences.  I swear she's going to be the child that winds us up in the ER due to her crazy antics and stunts!  She's convinced she's done with the highchair now and wants to do everything big, big Sis does.  She is hilarious and fun and most definitely almost a two year old!  I continually look at her and think of how fast it's gone.  I swear we just had her first birthday party.
And I love them so.  They make my day, even when they make it start at 4:30 a.m....they are charming and lovely and such loving little tiny people that I could not imagine my world without...they have changed me for the better indeed.

"Once upon a time there were two children named Fern and Peter Cottontail. Fern was lonely and bored and so Cottontail decided to buy her a piglet named Wilbur. But ole Papa-lumpagus didn't really like that idea so very much..." -Hannah Grace retelling me the story of Charlotte's Web. ♥

Driving down the road and suddenly Hannah says: "Mom! I KNOW what I am going to be for Halloween next year already!  Yes!  A tap dancing cow that wears a skirt who is running away from the mean coffee scavengers! Doesn't that sound perfect!?"  Who could say no!?

Abby when you tell her no..." Aaaaw.  Fine!  I pouting."

"Aaaw man!  We are getting our butts kicked Mom!" Hannah while playing Wii Mario Kart with her daddy...apparently he's forgotten we're trying to steer her AWAY from the word butt. :)

Today I am thankful for these little ones that I love beyond words...

A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about the quote I use on my own children and have heard many a time among adults and kiddos.  "You Get what you get and you don't get upset." We use this a lot now with Hannah who wants a specifc color of something or wants want another friend has etc...and I was thinking about how this really applies to us grown up peoples too.  :)

How often do we wallow in our own unhappiness, dare I say pout, when we see someone, anyone, with something we want?  Comparing ourselves is natural, but as we've been told time and time again no one is exactly the same, we are all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and that we have all be gifted in different areas in life.  And yet...I wish I was______like______.  ...I do it, however, I find myself lately doing a lot less.  I find myself instead celebrating what the other person has going on and then looking to find the things that I feel like I do ok with.
I have two sisters.  They are twins, so when I say they are both beautiful that seems like an obvious statement but they are two totally different people, and beautiful in completely different ways.  My one sister is currently training to qulaify for the Olympic trials!  And friends, if ever a girl was going to make it, it's her.  Running is her passion.  She does it.  She does it well.  It fuels her.  She is beyond succeeding.  She exudes love and passion.  I used to look at her (and my other sister who runs also) and think: Now why can't I enjoy running?  Why can't I get behind it and do well at it like they can!? I mean let's be honest...if I'm running it's because something (a bee!) is chasing me or it's to work off the goodies I've decided to indulge in.  The answer is...it's not my thing.  My heart is not behind running like it is for either of them.  I am filled with immense pride when I think of what she is accomplishing and when I can make it to a race she has I am so filled with awe and pride in her and what she can do.  But it's not my thing. 
My other sister is a fantastic artist and she's extremely creative.  She has this gorgeous softness about who she is that makes you instantly love her. She has a light up the room smile. She also runs and well and always looks fit and pulled together.  She's currently working on getting her masters in psychology, and it could be so easy for me to get frustrated and think...well I don't have or do any of that!  But those aren't my things. 
We constantly create our own unhappiness by looking at others and other things to try and make our happiness.  In my opinion, there is no such thing as greener pastures...it just appears that way at first.  But once you get to said greener pasture and get settled you realize you are just as unhappy as you were in the pasture before...and now you're just looking elsewhere to find something better. 

I think it's our challenge to live within what we've been given, whether it be money or talents etc. and to make the absolute best of those things.  Not to try to take on other's passions and loves and make them our own, but to use what we've got and work with the things we really love.  For instance, I am not a runner, nor am I an artist, but I love to bake, I love taking pictures, I love to sing, I love my children more than anything.  I've always wanted to be a mama.  How sad if I were to waste this thing that is my passion by comparing myself to other women who aren't moms themselves or even women who are, and fritter away my time being wistful, when I can enjoy what I DO have, when I can teach my children to love what they've been given, and to be happy and content.  I am blessed to be able to stay home and be a mama.  I am blessed to use my love of singing and lead a phenomenal worship team at our current church which includes Adam!  I am blessed that while at home I can bake!  I am blessed that I have been given two adorable children to take pictures of until they get old enough to tell me to stop!

I know of people who claim happiness, but they haven't told their face or their hearts even.  I feel like saying the same thing I say to Hannah when I tell her to adjust her attitude and tone of voice and she insists she's done so...but one look at her tells you she's still very unhappy and upset.  I respond with, "Really?  The unhappiness is gone?  Well you might want to inform your face that you're happy because it doesn't know yet." 
We're all given choices, including to a certain extent the degree of happiness which we will allow ourselves and what it is that will make us happy.  It is not always easy to DO what needs to be done to change the unhappiness within ourselves or a situation or another person, and sometimes it's very hard work.  Sometimes it means reaching out for extra help in being happy, whether it be in counseling or in a trusted friend or whoever it is that can positively help us.  But happiness comes in deciding that continuing being unhappy just isn't going to work for you anymore.  In deciding to be ok with who we are.  In looking at our lives with all honesty and saying, I really am so blessed.  It's not always easy...life happens.  Things try to rob us of our daily joys and a consistent happiness.  But I wonder how often too we let ourselves sink into pouting because it's just easier to.  It's not just me that says this!  Look:
*A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:13
*A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. Proverbs 15:30 
and...
*I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Phillippians 4:12
    The moral of my rant is this...we get what we get and we should not get upset.

Well...it's officially fall.  I really love me some fall colors and sunshine.  It just makes everything seem more brilliant and gorgeous.  And using last year as a guide, I am making sure we get OUTSIDE at every possible opportunity...because as we discovered last year, you never know how long your household will be on lock down due to sickness or weather. 
Nothing too new or exciting is happening for us.  Just the daily stuff...settling back into a routine after summer time fun.  We moved Abby to a big girl bed about a month ago and she is rockin it!  Adam and I were so nervous after the experience with Hannah, (many tears and lost sleep on both mama and Hannah's parts) and just an over all bad experience.  But at that point we didn't have the ability to say, ok ya know what, we'll just put her back in the crib and come back to all this later...  I was very pregnant with Abby and we needed that bed!  And we needed to make sure Hannah didn't feel like new baby was taking the bed away from her...well it just wasn't fun.  I think back on it and I get tired and weepy all over again. 
So Abby is doing great at the big girl bed.  She is putting SO many words together and making sentences and is at this point getting mighty inseperable from big sis.  Whatever Hannah is doing Abby feels she needs to do as well.  And if we give something special to Abby she is always quick to make sure Hannah gets some as well.  They are always together in one of their rooms reading together and looking through books or snuggling in one of their beds all giggly and cute.  Of course as anyone with multiple kiddos knows...one minute all is beautiful and calm and then the next someone is screaming and holding their eye or their hair because the other has taken out their frustration.  So that's always delightful.  Abby is definitely almost 2 though...tantrums are starting to fly over words like, "No," And "Let's not."
 
   Hannah currently has a MASSIVE yellow/black bump on her forehead and a yellow bump near one eye.  After a slippery batch of bath fizzy took her out in the tub causing her to slip and smash her eye, she threw a tantrum and smacked her forehead HARD on the end of her bed.  She of course regrets that now...I cringe everytime I look at it!  She's been really concerned about Aunty Jen and baby Whitney since Sunday, and (Jen) has been wanting to pray for you guys every night to make sure you all are ok.  :) 
Conversations with Hannah have become more hilarious.  Her love of words and her crazy logic have come together in a new way that just makes you giggle.  As in a conversation the other night:
Hannah: Mom, we really need to get a new lightbulb for my lamp.
Me: Ya gotcha.  I know.
Hannah: So tommorow let's go to the store and get one.  ...Well, probably Target because they have all the best deals. (at this point Adam is shaking his head and rolling his eyes. hahaha!  Sorry love!) 
Me: Oh Target huh?
Hannah: Yes.  Well, or Fred Meyer.  I mean they have stuff like that too....but then, no.  Target.  Really Fred Meyer tends to be more expensive than Target so let's just plan on that. 
Me: Ha!  Ok then Target it is.  (Because like I ever need an excuse to visit there and wander!)
Also, I asked Hannah what she learned in Sunday School last week and apparently she learned that setting people on fire or mutilating them in any way is bad.  haha Ooooo-k then.  Good to know.  At least I suppose she's learning life skills there?  haha

So to sum life up the girls are cute and we are in a pretty good rhythm right now.  Once we see that Abby really gets the hang of the sleeping thing I would love to put the girls together in the same room.  Hannah has her last swim lesson of this session next Monday...and then we are taking a break.  She's kind of zoning out in swim right now and really wants to take ballet so I think we are going to sign her up for that and let her take some time away from swimming....she's super excited about ballet so this should be cute.  hehe 
      Also, since removing Hannah from milk about 3 weeks ago it has made a huge difference.  Her attitude has improved drastically Eventually she needs to be tested to figure out the extent of the intolerance or allergy...but our last blood draw test left her in tears so...we've got to work towards that.  It's amazing how removing or changing food/diet can do so much.  I had to do a similar thing earlier in the year and man...it made such a huge difference for me!
We also started a new system of earning priveleges/tv time with coins.  We have a magnetic chore chart but what I didn't like is that it's daily and you can only earn one smiley for each category.  So neither Hannah or I were motivated to really make it work.  But now we have all these gold pirate coins floating around and so I decided to implement a system where we just place coins in the jar for any kind words, compliments, helping activities or good things/attitude we have throughout the day.  For every so many earned she can earn tv time but she has to turn them in.  For every so many earned she could watch a movie instead, but they have to be redeemed.  Or she can choose to save them up to a certain amount and redeem them for a movie out or a special trip somewhere or an actual dollar amount.  This has been working out BEAUTIFULLY.  She has always loved helping out any way but now that she can see a coin or two go into the jar for a good attitude or kind words or for her helping Mama, Daddy or Abby with something or for her taking her own clothes to her room and putting them all where they belong in their drawers etc...she's really been working hard to get things done and have a positive attitude.  This works MUCH better than the chore chart.  I think it's a more tangible way for her to see how her attitude and words and helpfulness add up. 
So there it is....as I said life is boringly good right now.  We're chugging right along.