The Tale of the Sleep-Deprived Husband (or Why You Should Have a Spare Key Somewhere)
<----- See this door. I don't have a spare key to it hidden anywhere. None of our neighbors have one either. And, according to Murphy's Law, that means you're going to get locked out at some point. And that's exactly what happened.
Let me take you back to a cold, winter night that was a little over a month ago (yes, I'm finally getting to the point where this story is almost funny & I feel like I can write it down without breaking out into a nervous sweat.) Our family had gone out to dinner that night. I also had a Relief Society activity at the church that night as well. We were running a little late coming home from dinner, so I just asked Mike to drop me off at the church. He said he was feeling really tired, so he said he would probably just go home, put the kids to bed & then go to sleep himself. I told him that sounded fine & that I would just get a ride home with one of my friends.
After the activity was over, I hitched a ride home with my neighbor, Stephanie. When I got home, I relized that since Mike had just dropped me off, I didn't have any keys to get inside. No worries. I'd just have to wake Mike up for a second to let me in the door. I went up to the front door & knocked. No answer. Mike just probably couldn't hear my knock upstairs. I rang the doorbell. Again, no answer. Stephanie was still waiting on the street for me to get inside. I hollered out to her to go ahead & leave, and I would get in through the garage, using the code on the door. As soon as the garage door started going up, Stephanie took off.
I hurried up the garage stairs & turned the door knob to get inside the house. It wouldn't budge. It was locked too. At this point, I knew that Mike had most likely locked that door out of habit before going to bed. I figured my only option was to go back to the front door & ring the doorbell several times to wake Mike up. I rang the doorbell 5 times in a row. That would surely do the trick. No answer. I rang it 5 more times. No answer. I started ringing it over and over and over again. I must have rung that doorbell over 100 times. I could hear the doorbell myself, so I knew it was working. But, still no answer.
I then started calling. I called the home phone. No answer. I called Mike's cell. No answer. I called Mike's Blackberry. You guessed it, no answer. I walked around to the back of the house & banged on the backdoor. No answer. I started banging on windows. No answer. I went back to the front door & rang it at least 100 more times. Still no answer. At this point, I had been making a racket for at least 10 to 15 minutes with no avail. I was starting to get worried. The Tahoe was in the garage & it was 10:00 at night, so I knew Mike & the kids most likely hadn't gone anywhere. Why weren't any of them waking up? Something had to be wrong.
My mind started thinking of possible situations. It's amazing what your mind can conjure up when you are worried, tired & freezing cold. First, I thought of carbon monoxide poisoning. I frantically rang the doorbell & called all the phones again. Then, I heard a sound from inside the house. Vivvie was crying. In fact, she was crying so loudly that I could hear her out her closed bedroom window that was a floor above where I was standing. This was a good thing, I thought. Vivvie's crying will wake Mike up...it always wakes Mike up. He'll hear her crying & then hear the doorbell and come let me in. But, that didn't happen. Vivvie continued to scream bloody murder & yet no one was responding. At this point, I figured there was no Carbon Monoxide poisoning because it would have affected Vivvie like everyone else, and she was apparently alive & well...and had sufficient lung capacity to continue to scream her guts out.
But, that's when my mind really started going crazy. I started to think of reasons why Vivvie would be okay, but Mike & the boys wouldn't. I thought that maybe there had been a home invasion of some sort & they had shot everyone inside, except Vivvie. Maybe she was asleep in her crib and they didn't know she was there, so they had left her alone. Yes, I think it's obvious that I watch too many crime dramas. But, in the moment, that's the thought that came to my mind & I started to freak out.
By this time, I had been outside for 20-25 minutes trying to wake someone...anyone...up with no luck. Something HAD to be wrong! I called my mom. She was the first person that came to my mind. She answered & I quickly rattled off what had been happening. She said that she & my dad would get there as quickly as they could. But, she also gave me the number for my local police dispatch & told me to call them right away.
I called dispatch. The opereator girl was not exactly helpful. I told her what was going on, and she replied with, "Let me get this straight. You're locked out of your house, and so you're calling the police?" I knew she thought I was one of the many crazy people that call the police for various stupid reasons on a daily basis. I listen to police scanners all the time when I'm at work, so I know there are hundreds of stupid calls every hour of the day. I tried to explain the situation to her again & tried to convince her that I wasn't crazy. I just kept telling her that something HAD to be wrong. I told her how Mike was generally a very light sleeper & that there was no way he would sleep through doorbells, ringing phones & a screaming baby. There was just no way! She said that if there was an available officer, she would send them over. I hung up & started ringing the doorbell again.
Then I had the idea to try to set our security alarm off. If Mike had locked all the doors out of habit, then he had probably set the alarm as well. That alarm is loud enough that my neighbors can probably hear it. That would surely wake Mike up. I started trying to wiggle the door as hard as I could. We've learned from personal experience that if you wiggle the door hard enough like you're trying to break through the lock, then the alarm will go off. I tried & tried & tried to bang it as hard as I could. I was literally throwing all 100 pounds of myself as hard as I could at the door, but I couldn't set the alarm off.
I decided to call my mom again. She answered & said that she and my dad were on their way. She also said that she had called my sister & her husband, Kristin & Dan, since they only live a few minutes away from me & they were on their way over as well.
Just a few seconds later, Kristin & Dan pulled up. Kristin jumped out of her car, and after seeing the look of terror on my face, just gave me a big hug & told me everything would be okay. Dan went to work trying to find a way to get into the house. By this point, Viv had stopped crying and had apparently gone back to sleep, or been killed by the intruders for all I knew. Yes, my mind was still going crazy with very unlikely scenarios that seemed totally plausible in that moment.
Kristin had the idea to throw something at the master bedroom window to try to wake Mike up if he was in there. We started with snowballs, but they weren't making enough noise...and lets be honest, we couldn't get any of them up high enough to hit the window. So we started chucking little rocks up there. They made a lot of noise. They would smack the window and then roll down the roof below it. They were making so much noise that I was scared we were going to break the window, but I just didn't care at that point. There was no way Mike could sleep through that. But, no response from inside.
I kept ringing the doorbell and calling the phones. It had been over 45 minutes at this point. Dan came around the corner of the house & told us that he had decided we should break a window to get inside. He had found a basement window that he thought would be the easiest to break & get into. I agreed to it, but decided to call the home phone one last time. After the second ring, I heard a very groggy, "Hello?"
It was Mike. I screamed into the phone, "Mike?!? You're alive!!!!"
He responded with, "Of course I'm alive. Why wouldn't I be alive?"
I then went into the whole narrative of the previous 45 minutes. He said that he had no idea any of this had been going on and had apparently slept through the whole thing. So had the boys. The doorbell, the phones ringing, the banging on the windows and doors, the rocks being thrown at the window...they had all slept through it. I told him to just come open the door because after 45+ minutes of being in 15 degree temperatures, I was frozen to the bone.
And then, guess who showed up. The police. So, when Mike opened the door, he was greeted with his traumatized wife, his sister-in-law & brother-in-law, and two cops. Needless to say, he was a little shocked to see & hear about everything that had gone on while he was asleep. He was really surprised (I think we all were) that he had slept through the whole thing. We chalked it up to Mike's crazy sleep schedule. He usually doesn't go to bed until around 11:00 pm every night and then wakes up at 5:00 am every weekday. He always seems to function quite well on only six hours of sleep, but it had apparently gotten to him & it turned a normally light sleeper into Sleeping Beauty.
After that, everyone left. I walked upstairs and checked in on my soundly-sleeping kids. I was so relieved that they were all okay. After that, I gave Mike a really long hug, and then I punched him in the shoulder for putting me through one of the worst hours of my life.
Needless to say, our neighbors now have a spare key. I just hope they're a little bit easier to wake up. --Lindsay













