Surrendering to the Unknown

Andy made them a "zip line" on our front tree I mentioned before so here is a little footage of the monkeys... really safe.

Here is a video of Bobby's soccer team the "Silverbacks" playing with Bobby scoring his first goal... you can see from the footage Mommy got a little excited and shook the camera. Who knew you could get so excited about something for a five year old...

We have had a huge week in the cook family. Lots of milestones. Bobby has learned to read. Thomas learned to ride a bike without training wheels. Andrew was potty trained. Sydney pulled up for the first time. Every time I looked around we had something major to rejoice. Milestones at this age are incredibly rewarding. In the midst of cleaning up spills, wiping boo boos, shopping for groceries, all of these happened.

Today I put Andrew down for a nap and he pointed at the place beside him and said, "Mom, you sleep right here please."... Going from one word answers to sentences to understanding to loving you back is gold.

It is nice to slow to a pace that is a snail's because you stop and smell the roses. That is the theme of my autumn... it is the little things that bring such joy these days. I have so many stories lately that make you snicker when you really think of them.

The best is Andy's 89 year old grandmother; the sweetest lady who poor thing we have confused her more than ever having two black children. Remember she is 89...
for her birthday we went out to dinner and she just stares at Andrew and Sydney with this big grin... She says, "They theirs?" Andy just goes with it and says, "yes, they are theirs"... humm he is thinking not sure where she is going with that one.
Next minute, she looks over and says, "He's black"... "yes, Nana he is." A few minutes later the waitress walks over and she says to her, "Are they yours?"...I had to just giggle. I try to put myself in her shoes and you know growing up in her generation she is thinking, what is going on here.

One more to end on... we tell Bobby to have his best manners for dinner with Nana and he says, "Why because she is old?" We say, "No Bobby we always need to have good manners." He say, "It is because she is old." What if we went around saying these things.... Ha!

How funny is this... Andrew just stared at the cd player yesterday and wanted to dance. He did this for an hour. Bobby and Thomas just watched and laughed.

This is one of my favorites. These are dear friends of ours and we got the privledge of watching them one night recently and the boys wanted to hear the song, "Big girls don't cry". Well they were thinking "oldies"; boy were they in for a treat with their hip friends. As you can see from this video, it was James' song. The last line when he says, "Big girls don't cry".... priceless....

My sister was here visiting for the weekend and there were many moments that can make one smile...

Thomas says to Margaret, "Did you know that my brother and sister are from Ethiopia?" She says, "yes, do you know where that is?" Thomas says, "at the airport." Just when you think they may be connecting the dots as they stare at the map of the world on their placemat... they certainly are not :) How cute is that. He probably thinks we went down the escalator for two weeks and then came up with two children. If only it were that simple.

This weekend was wonderful. I went shopping with my sister for the afternoon and after I was done I just sat on a bench outside and stared off into space. I waited maybe 15 minutes for her and it was incredible. I wasn't rushed for one second. I just sat there listening to a band and felt that crisp sun on my face. I felt sort of numb, but in a good way relaxed. Andy then planned a night out with my sisters and brother-in-law and had dinner and listened to a Jazz band at a bar close by.

Bobby said to me in the car today," Mommy you don't look 30; you look younger than that." Then Thomas says, "yeah, you look 38."...

Andy set up a rope connected to your front tree and a lightpost that the children have played on for two weeks. They play circus, walk on the tightrope, do flips, swing like monkeys, and just PLAY. They usually are over things in three days, but this one has lasted. All the neighbors have been loving it too, despite the danger factor. It has been nice to slow down again and get back to my main focus and not feel so overwhelmed. One night out helps my brain come back into focus and helps me reflect and appreciate versus just trying to breathe.

This picture summarizes so much. Neglect, tiredness... me... I turned 30 this week and at the same time had the biggest break down yet. It is all well and good to see all the beautiful pictures, but behind them was a mommy running on empty. When you hit the end of your rope, watch out... I mean when you can't get any time with the Lord, you crack and you end up acting like a crazy woman. I will spare all the details, but just know that I was in rare form and am so grateful for that day to be over. "His mercies are new every morning"... I kept repeating to myself over and over. This song utters my heart after failing in so many areas.

God is so good; so loving, so faithful... He held me in His hand as I allowed the past four months, the experience of getting new siding and a new roof, preparing for a wedding, packing 5 people for 5 different parties, buying a new car, readoptions, retiling of a bathroom, repairing the gas line, dsl line, phone line, and ac lines that were cut during the residing... all of this in one week. You can say breakdown. Four children was just a side to this. There have been times when I have wanted to cry and just quit, but I haven't had time. I have felt like I have had to schedule a time to cry, but it didn't fit in my calendar. My 30th birthday the best gift I was given was my sister coming over and letting me just lose it and cry for 2 hours. She just listened. That is all I needed. As a friend said once, Jesus literally was in the other room playing with our children. They didn't interupt one time in two hours and didn't fight once. He just played with him so I could just cry it out...

What would we do without girlfriends...?...

Grace like rain... I am basking in it; it is the most beautiful thing I experience.

Check out these outfits... they were styling. Bobby's grandmother made his bowtie to match the bridesmaid's sashes. Do you think he felt cool? He is still floating on cloud nine...

Talk about a beautiful bride, Caroline was just glowing. Being 25, Andy's little sister, she was the most mature bride I have yet to see. She and Adam knew what they wanted, what they stood for, what they were after in every sense. The wisdom they have and the bond they have was astonishing. The wedding was a true worship service; it was the first time for me in months I could reflect on my marriage and remember what it was like to walk down the aisle and the man I fell in love with. You could feel the presence of God in every detail of the wedding.

Bobby and Thomas were in the wedding with their cousin Jacob, and they were adorable. They were each so proud of their jobs of carrying the Bible and the garland. Bobby stayed until the end of the reception and danced the night away. It was quite fun to let him loose since all weekend he was told to sit still, don't touch, and stay clean... it was quite a celebration. I couldn't believe I had a child old enough to walk around a reception by himself at times.

It is official now in the U.S. that Andrew and Sydney have gone from Tarekegn and Tarikua to living in Africa to now America. They were readopted last Friday and will have an official birth certificate from America. It was so fun to take them and have 3 hours with just them and think back on how far we have come. The judge knew the story and said it was his favorite part of his job to get to do adoptions. Andrew just smiled and touched everything in sight.

After that, we sprinted off to Andy's sisters wedding and the festivities began.... It was an insane week preparing for it, but we did survive and actually had a ball once we were there. The preparation did me in. I am still recovering.

It amazes me how time can go before I can even reflect... reflection is therapy for me; it makes me appreciate the moments versus complain about the mundane, the same routine, sweeping the floor. These are some pics from Bobby first day of Kindegarten Readiness and Thomas' first day of school. The other one is of our dear friends that came to play one night. They loved putting their hair in pony tails; their time together reminded me of all my childhood memories with your parent's dearest friends and all the things you thought of with their children.

Bobby and Thomas were quite proud needless to say of getting dressed for school. Andrew just went along with the flow thinking he was going to school grabbing any bag he could. It was quite tough on a mommy's heart dropping Bobby off and seeing his nerves yet holding Thomas and Andrew's hands as well as holding Sydney in my arms. I didn't feel like I could meet his little tender needs and giving him that secure hold before I left him. It was yet another moment I was forced to trust in God that He would meet my child's needs when I can't. Those surrendered moments are bittersweet since of course we want to control everything.

He hated his first day, got stung by a bee, and didn't want to go back. The next day he warned Thomas, "you have to wear tennis shoes because there are so many bees". Thomas claims, "I didn't see one." He loves to go of course after the first week.

Time with Andrew and Sydney is precious to me. I finally can relax and focus more. I love the time when they are asleep so then I can be with Bobby. Thomas is still needing that one on one time, but he seems to find it when he falls, yells, and throws tantrums... He is a smart little thing.