Surrendering to the Unknown

This was our first day with no one in school. I was a bit nervous about it thinking how am I going to do this patiently for 3 months... well, the first day is always deceiving where you take those deep breaths before you say things you didn't want to in a tone not so nice. One day down...! Whew...

The kids played baseball for at least 3-4 hours total today. That is the newest thing they are in to so I am extremely thankful for this interest; there are no messes, no crafts, no spills, and they are OUTSIDE! They asked me for some rock-n-roll music at 8:30 am to play outside while playing, and I am hoping the neighbors still like us. I thought Dave Matthews was mild enough.

Sundays are my favorite day. Before I was a Christian, they were my least favorite; they felt lonely, rainy, and just sad sometimes. I think now that I have a strong relationship with the Lord, I just look forward to slowing down. I think in the past I was scared of slowing down, scared of reflecting, scared of looking at my sin because I didn't know what to do with it other than feel guilt. I think of the verse that says, "in Christ, we are perfectly righteous" and peace just overrides my heart at times. I think it is tempting to focus on all your flaws and all the times you fail, but when you focus on this truth, the mistakes just fall away.

My new prayer for my children is that they will know that God's mercy flows over their lives like a flood and that will know His unending love and amazing grace. Imagine if your children grew up every day being reminded of how wide God's mercy is for their lives; it is still good news when I hear it. Another thought in church was our pastor was talking about when we go through hard things and what to do. His suggestion is to "talk" to your heart, "tell" it the truth. Don't listen to your emotions and feelings, but tell your emotions and feelings the truth in God's word. He gave incredible examples this week of telling yourself what you know. We know that Christ died and we know we are united with him in his death. He then says to present the members of your body to God, your eyes, your touch, your brain, your mouth, and more. I love that illustration of just giving over each thing as you are tempted in your days or when you have already opened your mouth way too wide with terrible things.

It is with this belief plus God's power that changes it all. Isn't it amazing that in everything, you have to get to the point of saying, "I can't do it" when you see God do it. The other example he used was a man who works for our church rides his bike to church each week. He asked the man, "How do you do that each week?" He said, see this little box, it is a motor; I peddle all the places I can and when I am on a touch hill when I can't do it any longer, I turn this on. How similar that is to our lives with God.... we just turn on the motor and He will do it for us.

This is right before Bobby "graduated" from preschool. How funny is that, that they now have another graduation. He sang the cutest songs and just was proud. There is NOTHING like hearing children sing. One off to school next year...I am going to miss that little one. He is my buddy for sure, but I can honestly say, "HE IS READY!"

Thomas is so creative with his fireman costume here: boxer shorts and a cup. Resourceful would be a great adjective for him.

When you are in charge of two kids and you are trying to get some plants in the ground, what is a better way to get it done... just let your child go wild with the hose and the mud. Do we think she had a ball? After the bath, I wiped her down with a towel and the towel was brown by the end AFTER the bath...

You can see from these pictures, this is the ultimate time to have a quiet time with the Lord. A mouth this wide open, you aren't thinking at every line you read, "When are they going to wake up?" Out cold.

Somebody learned how to ride a tiny tiny two wheeler. With his tiny little legs he can go down hill and on flat spaces without training wheels. He is so proud... just trying to keep up with his bros! It is hard to believe a year ago, he couldn't walk up a curb...

How fun is that! I don't remember having days like that at preschool, but then again, do I even remember preschool...

Bobby has talked about this day since January. He was pretty psyched.

Oh Mother's Day... now that is a wondrous hallmark event. I am liking my sleeping in and getting to stay in my room until church. I typically hear all the noise, but this time I didn't hear Sydney after breakfast with all her usual squeals. Andy called for me at 10 am and said, "Do you know why you didn't hear Sydney?" I said, "Yes, I was really wondering." He said, "I left her in her highchair for so long, she fell asleep for 30 minutes...." That is funny.

Thomas says to me today, "You shouldn't of gotten a baby from Ethiopia because then I could play with my marbles."

(as you can imagine, I don't let them play with the marbles when Sydney is awake :))

Go to

http://www.acaciavillage.org/video.htm

This is a video on Acacia Village where our adoption agency is building a facility for the orphans, families who come to get their children, a school, medical facility and more. It is very moving...

Oh what a day! It has been exactly one year since we met Sydney and Andrew, which is incredibly hard to believe. We have remembered our trip and our first moments with each of them and our first moments as the 6 of us. We call it "Gotcha Day", which is adoption lingo for sure, but it is a day to reflect on how we became a family and celebrate the culture and food of where they are from. All week I prepared by researching some recipes and going down to Buford Highway twice to pick up the injera, which is the spongy sourdough bread they eat with all their foods. I met some incredible people; all I would describe as people who would invite you over tomorrow as one did.

We cooked Doro Wat which a chicken stew and Beef Tibs which is a beef stew mixture. We did some sweet potatoes and the traditional salad you would find at an Ethiopian restaurant. I am not a huge fan of Ethiopian food quite yet, but after cooking this, I must say I am an official fan. I exchanged two ingredients for regular butter and red wine instead of the T'ej which is a honey wine of theirs and it was divine if I say so myself. We had each of their god parents over and just celebrated our family.

A lot has happened in one year and I will have to say, I am incredibly thankful to have come out on the otherside having learned more in one year than in an entire life. I wonder where we would be if we had not had two more children; I wonder where Bobby and Thomas would be as people, where we would be. I think the temptation in this life is to just think of this carnal world and not to think of the next one. I think it is too tempting to think we could just acquire more possessions, make our 401K a little bigger, get a more comfortable house, protect us from anything harmful and so forth until you realize, you can't protect yourself from all this stuff. We aren't the ones in control; God is. The finality of that thought, makes you think, why try for all the comfort; let's go for the gold and live each day knowing it is our last and that the one after that goes on for eternity.

I have had so many thoughts recently on living for the next life; how can we do that more each day. How can we spend our money on eternal things instead of what makes life more comfortable. I am challenged by these thoughts daily now that I actually have some time to think. It makes life far more exciting I will say.

Thomas had his spring performance where he got to sing his four songs and he was so excited UNTIL.... Mommy scared him! It was not good. I told him the only two rules were to 1. have fun and 2. not put his hand in his pants. The look on his face was that I had hurt him for life. We have had this conversation numerous times, but this time it was completely embarassing for him. He asked for a straight hour if he could skip school and broke down crying every 5 minutes. He did make it to school and thankfully sang and smiled the entire time with his hands out! whew... we made through one little bump in the road of mom embarassing him... just wait until he is older...

My oldest never ceases to amaze me with what he wants to do for the day. Many times when I am in a hurry and hear an idea he has, I have to take a deep breath because it always transpires into something huge. He does nothing minimally. Last week, I basically had a tournament at my house. We took them to a track meet and when we got home he told me, "Tomorrow is racing day." I usually am unaware of what this will look like. The next morning at 7 am he says, "It is race day; this is my favorite day ever!". Uh oh is what I say. From 7-9:15, he had already made signs, a finish line, numbers for all the bikes, and was scheming on how to get the course set up. When he came home at 1:45, he didn't even put his backpack down, he went straight outside and got to work.

He convinced my neighbor to help him set up the finish line with cinderblocks. He never asked for my help once... hum... maybe he is learned, I cannot do tournaments daily. He then proceeds to put towels around the wood that he has gotten for the sides of the finish line and got two more cinderblocks for arrows pointing which way to go. By 3, he was making prize bags, putting random legos, screws, and other odds and ends from our junk drawer. He then asked me to pop popcorn for all the neighbors and set up stools for the food. At 3:30, the moment all his friends got off the bus, he invited them to race. He made medals with shoelaces as well.

At 5, when Andy came home, I was wiped out from the party I had just had. Sydney and I had a ball watching them race. It was a memorable day for sure; thankfully I think the Holy Spirit was in me nudging me constantly to do nothing but enjoy my son's creativity. That doesn't happen every day...

In the midst of my still week, my friend Judith who I have shared her story with so many of you lost her baby at close to 20 weeks. You can go to her website, www.mcbabies.com and read their incredible story of children from being infertile for years and years to many adoptions falling through, to adopting 4 children, and now losing their one baby who was a girl, to leaving for Ethiopia yesterday to adopt two more. On Saturday her husband will return with two boys from Ethiopia making her family a family of 6 boys 6 and under. I am certain they would cherish your prayers as they grieve, endure being away from each other, prepare for more, and have to put their faith in God's truths not what they see. It is difficult to understand this side of heaven; I think the entire community is just hurting with them. I can't get them out of my thoughts. I am feeling like I am praying for myself to have faith for them as they face such incredible challenges. I just keep reminding myself, this is not the end of the story... it always gets better, but sometimes we have to wait for heaven. Pray they will be comforted and pray they can endure these long days and have peace when there is no understanding.

Finally I have had a week that I could just sit in the backyard and be still. I think of the first verse I had Bobby memorize, Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." That verse has so much power for such few words. When I am still each day, I am right where God wants me to be. I had so many incredible moments with each of the children.

One highlight was when I took Andrew to the public school assessment to see if he has any delays now that it has been a year they have been home. They evaluate in 5 ares and he did fabulous. I of course got teary on this one as I drove home thinking of where he has come from and where he is today and what he can say and understand. The best line of all was when the lady asked him the 4 or 5 year old level questions... one being, "What would you do if a stranger offered you candy and asked you to get in the car?" Andrew said immediately, "Buckle up!"

I could not stop laughing to think of his confidence in answering the question. Thankfully he wasn't supposed to know that one yet... I may want to keep him inside for another year!

You can see from these pictures that Sydney has some spice!

This was only a month ago and I am not getting it posted... this is sweet Isa who just came home from India to be with her parents and boy is she adorable. You can see Sydney is extra jealous and furious that I put her down in order to take a photograph. They are only a few months apart...

I always laugh when I think of children's sports because I can remember my parents talking about other parents and all the different opinions and ways parents acted when watching their child play sports. I learned quickly which way I did not want to be. Thankfully after soccer this year, I was prepared for my son playing t-ball. Children's sports are definitely as entertaining for the parents as they are for the children.

All I have to say is I try to not show any emotion so my child will not think the way they do anything matters and that all I care that they know is that they are loved. Well, reality sometimes comes into conflict with your ideals and you find yourself cheering very loudly and think, "did I just scream that loudly for a 5 year old?" Who knew we could be so overjoyed when a child slams one... I will confess, it is sort of like when you go to a football game and see the band and the cheerleaders and everyone is cheering... for some reason I sometimes get teary at those events even when I don't know the team or school. I think it is just getting excited all together. I find myself tearing up over a t-ball game at times and that just shocks me. The things you could never predict before you are a parent. It isn't that you are so proud that your child is "good" or that they hit one; it is really you are freezing in time that moment that the sun is shining, your boy is in a cute little uniform on a Saturday morning, hanging out with friends, and thinking.... this is the American dream people talk about sometimes.