Surrendering to the Unknown

There is one person in the world that can make me laugh like no other and it is my cousin Catherine. Truly, I can't explain her to you because words cannot do justice to what time with her is like. She has about 100 voices she can do and is not afraid to use them in any setting. Her laugh is contagious and her spirit is just amazing to be around. When she was in her early 20's, she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. She is now 37 and has been cancer free for more than 10 years. My sisters and I grew up in the "city" as we used to call it and she and her sister grew up in the "country", which was only 10 minutes away. The times that we got to have at her house were memories of cutting paper dolls in an adorable, quaint home in the country where in the morning we headed down to feed the chickens with my uncle. I have fond memories of driving around in an old truck that was my grandfather's with my oldest cousin who allowed me to do this at age 6 or 7. I floored it one time in her lap and ran right over my grandmother's boxwood. Well, as time has gone on, we have carried on the tradition of a different truck, with a new driver. Please listen to my cousin talk about my uncle and the "worrier" that he is. The password is "Greenhill" for all...

Driving lesson 1 from Cole Griffin on Vimeo.

After all the smack talking about my uncle, now please see...

No, Caci isn't stuck... from Cole Griffin on Vimeo.

Now we see her boyfriend has taken over and put a new driver in the seat!

Driving lesson #2 from Cole Griffin on Vimeo.

There is something about the day Dec. 1rst, you just feel Christmas coming on. You are still thinking, whew I have 24 days to get it all done, but you are also knowing that it goes so fast! I love each Christmas season when you hear those new carols that just make you cry in the car. My favorites this year are by Caedmon's Call, "It cam upon a midnight clear" where you hear the children sing the chorus. Anytime I hear children's voices like that, I get emotional. The other one is Amy Grant's, "I need a silent night." Seriously, who doesn't love some Amy Grant! I just keep belting out "I need a Silent Night!". I can picture the quiet at 11 pm with candlelight, picturing how quiet and cold it was on that Bethlehem night, yet how still it was. No texting, no emails, no busyness, no MALLS!!!!

Here are the wreaths I love to make each year that my mom made all the time. They are the easiest recipe and so delicious!

Christmas Corn Flake Wreaths

1/2 c butter
40 regular marshmallows
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp. green food coloring
6 cups corn flakes
red hots

Melt butter in large saucepan. Add marshmallows and cook over low heat, stirring frequently until marshmallows are melted. Remove from heat. Stir in vanilla and food coloring to desired shade of green. Add corn flakes and blend, stirring and mixing gently until all corn flakes are coated. With 2 teaspoons or buttered fingers, shape golf-ball size portions into wreaths on wax paper. Put 3 red cinnamon candies at intervals on each wreath to look like holly berries. Makes about 24. Put on wax paper.

A picture can say 1,000 words. When I think about my childhood, I have more memories of jumping in the leaves as I do just about anything else. The piles of leaves felt so large when I was little and now as an adult, I see those piles completely differently. They are more like mountains that have to be conquered instead of mountains that get to be explored! Hot chocolate is another memory that I can still taste when I think about it. I can remember the exact places we had it, the brand we bought, the fake marshmellows that were in it, and the company beside me. This profile of my Dad and Sydney captures that word we call THANKFULNESS... for both generations!

This clip from Sesame Street is one of my favorites! It just screams "JOY!". Sydney sits in front of our computer and dances to it. The boys watched it the other day for the first time and to watch their eyes as they took it all in. Bobby of course as the oldest appreciated it for what it is. He just doted on Sydney the whole time asking her, "Do you like this video?"

Yiphee!!!!!

This has been an amazing week and a half! The puzzle is MORE than complete. We were able to raise 13,500 in 10 days! (75 extra pieces!) That is truly remarkable... we are so thankful... I cannot say that enough. Thank you to each of you who sacrificed from your family to ours and gave up time to make the donation as well! We are so excited to announce the winners. As you can see in one of the videos, Sydney "picked" a winner... she is always ladylike as you can see. You can also see since we have four children, it would only be appropriate that one piece of the puzzle is missing!

Photo shoot winner...



Hawaii's winner...

Still counting!!!! Still building.... Check back at 6 pm and we will have some winners and totals!

It has been one week since we started the puzzle piece fundraiser.... Look where we are today...



We have every piece of land sponsored! The only thing left is the water (if only someone could put it together with me!). We have raised $7000 so far thanks to all of you who have been willing to sacrifice from your budget to ours! We are in awe of your love and support and in awe of how God has moved in your hearts. Thank you for all of those who don't know us and have participated as well.

We are overwhelmed by the responses of this fundraiser! In two days alone, we have raised 4600 dollars... we had the thought, "Wow, the Lord is good!" and then the second thought was, "Is this illegal because this is amazing?" After doing some google searches about the sheriff’s policies on raffles, ... we are sad to say we are still not sure, but think that you may have to be a non-profit to do a "raffle" and also apply with the county. Since we don’t have time to form a non-profit really quickly and we don’t have time to do all the research, we thought we would end the raffle part in the name of making sure we aren’t taking money in the wrong way to bring our child home!  You are of course welcome to still buy a puzzle piece(s) for $20 with your name on it, but I just can't say, you can win the two items! For those of you who have donated already, we will refund you asap or rip up your check if you would like. We will not be offended at all if you would like your money back! Don't be shy! Please let me know either way. Thank you for your understanding and thanks for your passion and interest in us!  Over a third of our puzzle has names on it!  

So this experience has led me to many more thoughts...

At times we ask ourselves, “What? Why is this happening? This is an odd detour to something so wonderful...” I think it is at these times we are missing it. We are missing the part of the puzzle that God wants us to see each day. Life isn’t about “doing good things” like adoption. It tells us in the Westminster Catechism, question number 1... “What is the chief end of man?”
“Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. “

This comes from some of these Scriptures...

Romans 11:36. For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

1 Corinthians 6:20; 10:31. For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.... Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Revelation 4:11. Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.

If we are to glorify God in all that we do, then the outcome of whatever we are going through is pointless. Pointless... It is a message that gets so mixed up in all of our lives. We believe that the goal is to “be healed” or “to have a child” or “to succeed”, etc... It is counterintuitive to believe the opposite of this. I am sure Christ felt this... it was just counterintuitive for him to come so humbly on a donkey versus come as a royal King. So if the goals aren’t those, then what are they? What does glorifying God really mean?

I think the goal here is to spend time with God, to know Him deeply, to drink deeply from His strength, to do all things through Him, not through us. I am learning this in so many areas of life and I am sure will never master this, but it is a beautiful thing when God reveals to you that this is all about Him and that he uses our weakness, not our strength.

Here was the passage I read in my quiet time today from “ My Utmost for His Highest”...
“Take your son...” Genesis 22:2
It said...
"God’s command is--Take now, not presently. It is extaordinary how we debate! We know a thing is right, but we try to find excuses for not doing it at once... "
It then goes on to say, "Do not confer with flesh and blood, i.e., your own sympathies, your own insight, anything that is not based on your personal relationship with God. These are the things that compete with and hinder obedience to God.”

Then at the end it says, “You must go through the crucible (trial) before you have any right to pronounce a verdict, because in the crucible you learn to know God better. God is working for his highest ends until His purpose and man’s purpose become one.”

This my friends, is what it is all about!

The Cooks are in the process of bringing home a baby girl from Ethiopia! The long Ethiopian adoption process is officially underway, and now we're waiting to see how God will provide the necessary resources. In light of all this, we have purchased a 600 piece puzzle and for every piece you purchase, we will write your name on the back of it. Each piece is $20. We will eventually frame the puzzle and put it in our daughter's room when we bring her home to show her all of the people who partnered with us to bring her home from Ethiopia. In 10 days on Thursday, November 18, we will take a picture of the puzzle to show you the finished product!

As a mother there are times I wake up and think, "How in the world can I get all this done? From couponing, to grocery shopping, to fixing dinner, to keeping the house clean, to deep cleaning, to hugging boo boos, to doing Sydney's hair, etc..." A few days ago, I was beginning to see the ring around all three of my potties and thinking, hummm, it is time. Where can I find the 6 hours to deep clean the house? It was about 8 am in the morning and I hear Sydney scream from upstairs, "Mommy, I see a rainbow!!! I see a rainbow!!!!" I thought, I will go up and "ooh" and "ahh" over it to make her happy. I am assuming she is gazing out the children's bathroom window, when I walk into the kids bathroom and see her staring into the potty at the pinkish/red ring around the potty. She looks right at me and says, "Like Hawaii!!! Two rainbows!" How can I worry over cleaning such a beautiful picture. I then went with Andy Stanley's theme of "Choosing to Cheat", which is where you choose which areas have to go. It is called letting go of the perfectionism and doing just what needs to be done. I cleaned those rings, wiped down a few eye sores and called it a day! No one would ever know about the grime underneath at least for today.

Tonight I was talking to Bobby about hurting someone's feelings at school and Sydney asks me if she can play with my hair. She LOVES to play with hair as most girls do! I typically wear a rubber band on my wrist so she is brushing my hair and says, "Can I have your 'silly' band?" This is what she calls my rubber bands. Then she says, "Can you please make a tail?".... for my pony tail.

Sydney said this morning... "Why is it raining?" I said because God is watering the grass and the flowers. She said, "Is Jesus getting wet?"

Study someone. It is a life skill that is incredibly rewarding. Start noticing how someone takes their coffee, their tea, or what they order. Those tiny things people remember touch someones heart. I am so bad at this, but people in my life have been so good at it at times, it has given me great inspiration to start. The most rewarding one could be your spouse. All those times you find it offensive they don't remember how you like your tea.... then they start studying and you are touched. You feel known. Thought for the morning...as I stared at my tea in a quiet house.

Where to begin on all the thoughts I have had on going away for the weekend with my husband. We haven't been away in almost two years and before that another two years. We have tried to go away once a year, but it seems that the past few have been hard to manage that time. It is here... our 10 year college reunion. To go to Lexington, VA where my favorite weather in the world lies gets me excited. I can't wait for the 8 hour drive with just Andy. I am just looking forward to getting bored of conversation and not being in any rush to say anything! To sleep in, to have a beer watching a fun Blue Grass band on a sunny day, to catch up with old friends, and to just reminisce on where I met Andy and where I also became a Christian. Lexington has such rich memories for me, both good and bad, but they are memories that shaped who I am today. I am excited to hear of all that God is doing and has done in people that I went to college with. I just feel incredibly blessed that people are willing to watch my children to give us a weekend away.

It is often difficult to put into words all the tiny whispers of the Lord in your life; of course it isn't necessary to, but people often ask how did you decide to adopt? I never know whether to go into the one minute version or the thirty minute novel in my head. What I am learning right now is that God can call you to anything or he can bring you to anything... whether it be adoption, cancer, death, the lottery, or just the mundane... the call and the circumstance should be irrelevant, but as humans in our eyes it is so different... would if we just saw all of it as an opportunity to walk with Him closer instead of the immediate emotion we feel. I am thankful we feel the ups and downs of each experience or I think life would be quite boring. So often we think we are in control of some things in life, yet we see continuously that we are in control of nothing. The only conclusion I can come up with is that God is with us no matter what we are going through, happy or sad.

Andy and I have decided to heed the voice we have heard for the past six months and we are adopting another child from Ethiopia. This journey has been so different. It is humbling to see how much of myself I saw in it last time, and how this time, it is simply a calling that God presses on your heart. This time like last, I pray for faith each day as we step into the next part of our life's journey. With every big decision, there are days of fear of how will we do this? how will we afford this? how will we have the energy? how will our children get the attention they need? and more? Yet... that still small voice whispers, "I am enough". We have a peace about it, which feels so good when you encounter the challenges and when you think of all the rational reasons why not. It is also humbling to really picture another little tiny human that God has designed for our family out there. I can't quite get my mind around that yet, thankfully in some ways, but to know that we will know another little person as deeply as we know our four makes my heart leap.

Words that I read the other day have just clung to me like a robe. I have thought about in a decision like this you go from point A to point B and like the quote, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. We, as humans, like to go the curvy route and meander down all the roads of fear, doubt, and "do it myself" roads. My hearts desire this time is to go straight... to utter the words to Jesus daily, "I trust you" instead of "what if this" or "what if that". The best place to be is in the center of God's will obeying what he desires. I am constantly struck as an adult of how much God is with me in everyday moments. I certainly don't access Him all the time, but He brings me to the next places... and yes all the bad ones too.

A favorite quote from my quiet time, "You will get to point B eventually, but you will have lost precious time and energy. The farther you roam along paths of unbelief, the harder it is to remember that I am with you. Anxious thoughts branch off in all directions, taking your farther and farther from awareness of My Presence. " No time to lose precious time and energy in this life...

Trust in me with all your heart, and I will make your paths straight...

Miss Sydney was more than excited to go to school and carry her backpack and lunch box. She was so sad when she met the teacher the week before, but thankfully I clued in and talked her up all weekend. She told me before we left, "I gonna be a big girl, I not gonna cry." Yiphee.... she sprinted in her room and never looked back. When I picked her up, she was on her tummy with legs crossed, and chin in her hands listening to a book. She saw me and ran to me.... melted my heart for sure.

Andrew was pretty quiet, yet had that look of just joy. I think he has watched his brothers go to school for three weeks and thought, am I stuck with mom all day? He ran in as well and made two friends immediately. He said when we got out of the car, "There aren't very many brown people here." Then he saw an Indian boy and said, "Oh there is one." So amazing what they see. He asked me one other time two weeks ago, "Are there going to be a lot of brown people here?" I said, "yes there are" as we were going to meet families who had all adopted. I said "Do you want there to be?" He said, "I don't care; I hope they are rainbow colored, brown, or white."

I am in a consignment shop today and I put Andrew and Sydney in the back corner where the walls are over their heads so they can't climb out with a television. I am thinking, "this rocks, I can shop in peace"... So Sydney says to me, "Mommy I have to go potty." At the same time, the lady at the check out calls me after going through the stuff I brought in and wants to give me my tally. She knew I had to leave by 2:30 so I rushed up there and said, "Hold on Sydney, I will be right back and take you." The lady takes a little extra time, and I wait to pay for my stuff. A few minutes go by and I look at the back of the store down one aisle just day dreaming that I have two children with me, and they are entertained. Great moment.... well, I see out of the corner of my eye, this little girl running through the aisle with her underwear in one hand and her skirt in the other just waving them above her head. I look at the lady and say, "Excuse me just one moment I think my daughter is running around in your store naked." I run back there, and she says, "I did it." She climbed out over the wall and found the bathroom in the back of the store, then ventured to run out with her underwear and skirt. She doesn't know how to put those back on by herself obviously! I knew a girl who was shopping in there, and I just jogged right by her not even glancing up. As I put her skirt back on, my head is tilted down giggling to myself when Sydney pulls my hair up to see if I am laughing. She gives me a huge grin and then shrugs her shoulders like aren't I funny!

I don't think it matters how many children you have, how far apart they are... kindergarten is just a sign of change. Change brings emotion. The hug that I received today from Thomas will be etched in my soul until heaven. He squeezed so hard and then just gave me a huge grin. He then looked back and almost came back for one more, but then jumped out of the car never to look back with his older brother. Whew... hard to believe he is five...

We were in Ingles the other day and I gave her the free bag of popcorn right before dinner. Well I was starving and decided I would just help myself to her bag. She did not like that one bit. I have done this with my boys for 7 years! Sydney is giving me the eye like don't you dare. I reassured her just one more handful. She then exclaims, "No more I said!"

As the mature mother I said, "You have an attitude".... (nice eh?)... She then replies, "No, I happy." All along I am thinking she is two.

The first picture is the view of my sister's condo... she wakes up to this and a rainbow almost every day.

All of them are my favorites...

Leave it to boys to find anything they can to play with and create. Since there weren't many toys in my sisters condo, they found her closet! Sydney had a ball. Her clothes, purses, and shoes were a hit. It was like her own toy closet. After a week or so, the boys followed suit.

There are so many faces to Sydney and each is just as expressive. They can go from the most hilarious face to the I do not like you one bit face in 3 seconds. She is not shy on personality, and the boys all laugh at all of the faces now which doesn't help at all. We were on the elevator the last day and she is moving her arm up and down as if trying to make a tooting noise. The man next to her said, "I know what you are doing..." She just laughed and kept doing it. So feminine.

He is not going to like me when he is older for this one, but isn't it priceless!

We had a new adventure every day. I thought we would go to the beach and have lazy days, but each day we found something new to discover and do. There was so much to do on one tiny island. From dolphin shows, to snorkeling, to hiking, to surfing, to seeing the bays of the North Shore, to Polo matches, to hula festivals, and trying all sorts of new foods.