Well, first, let me say the response to our raffle was great! We raised $161 for Families of SMA but, because Jake and I like things in twos, we're going to round that up to an even $200 donation! Thank you so much for all of your support! The work that FSMA does is amazing!

I know, I know...stop chatting and start spilling the beans!

Ok, the winner is...

#30, Theresa Smith! Yay! Theresa is a mom from the SMA community and I have loved getting to know her through e-mail! Congrats Theresa :)

If you haven't already, don't forget to sing up for our Raffle! There's only one day left until we draw names and announce the big winner! A huge thanks to those of you who have already entered...I'm pretty excited to see who wins this as a certain someone from Pennsylvania keeps increases her chances at winning (I'm side-eyeing you Sara) ha!

Also, stay tuned after Thanksgiving for another exciting FSMA fundraising announcement!

With the holidays fast approaching I'm sure you're all busy thinking of ways to make your home warm and cozy. Well, we're here to help by partnering with CSN Stores. This online collection of over 200 stores offers tons of great products! Need to spruce up the living room? Check out their selection of contemporary coffee tables. Need some help in the baking department? See what their kitchen selection has to offer.

I know you're probably wondering why I'm so passionate about the variety of items CSN Stores has to offer...well, they have teamed up with us to raffle a $50 gift certificate to one lucky winner and all of the proceeds will go to Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy! Here's how this works...just go to Paypal and send a dollar for each raffle ticket you would like to bapritchett[at]gmail.com (you can send more than one dollar at a time, but each dollar will result in one entry). We will run the raffle until 5 p.m. EST on Wednesday, November 17. From there, I will log each entry into a drawing and the winner will receive the $50 gift certificate to CSN Stores!

Enter as often as you like by sending your donations via paypal to bapritchett[at]gmail.com. When choosing how to send the funds, check personal and then gift to make sure Paypal fees aren't deducted!

Don't forget, all funds go to FSMA, which is a great organization that helps families dealing with Spinal Muscular Atrophy!

Things have been pretty busy for us lately, which means I haven't been able to update in quite a while! Thanks to Jess for posting her song below to help keep things updated around here!

I've made a decision...for the last year and a half, this blog has been primarily about grief but, I feel like it needs to take a new direction. I feel like I need to start working more on SMA awareness and support. I just think that changing things up would be the best way to honor the girls.

But, before I get to all of that, I wanted to give an update on what Jake and I have been doing. In August, my wonderful sister nominated me for mother of the Year through the Indiana March of Dimes. I was one of 10 finalists and Jake, me, my family and friends attended a fancy pants dinner where we got to learn all about the 10 finalists and their amazing stories. There were so many inspiring women there and it was very nice to be able to connect with such strong people!

Also in August, Jake and I celebrated the girls' second birthdays by volunteering at Riley Hospital for Children. This hospital is amazing and the experience we had there when the girls were patients was very positive (despite the negative reason for being there). On their birthday, jake and I stayed very busy making puppy pillows that the patients get to take home with them. It is a great comfort measure and we both left feeling so good about hopefully impacting the children in a positive way.

In September, my dad lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. He was such a fighter and an inspiration. It was sad, but interesting, to see him go through his fight...it made me really reflect on the differences in dying and death between him and the girls. While it was heartbreaking to see him go, I am forever thankful for all that he taught me, even in those final days.

And now we're on to November. Things are starting to settle down for us and we're really hoping for an uneventful winter. I know the holidays will be difficult because the girls aren't with us, but we've really learned how to hold onto each other for strength and take each new feeling of sadness and deal with it in a constructive way. Thanks so much for sticking with us and reading along with us as we continue on this journey! We are forever indebted to our family, friends and you for all of the love and support we have received.

I haven't written in a very long time. I am ashamed.

But today has been different somehow. Today, missing the girls hit me like a ton of bricks. It is hard to describe, but all of a sudden, I just felt so lost. I felt so broken. Usually I can pinpoint what sets me off and brings these feelings to me, but today I don't know what has done it. The constant ache that sits in the back of my heart for them somehow jumped to the front and shoved every other thought and feeling out of me. It is consuming me and I just don't know where to go with it.

It's strange; I have gone through over a year of therapy trying to relearn how to live my life and yet these moments still stop me in my tracks. And while it hurts so so bad, there is almost a comfort inside of me too. I'm comforted to know that I'm not forgetting them and that I still miss them and I still hurt for them. But most of all, I still love them.

Jake's grandpa died almost two weeks ago. Richard was a good man. A very good man. He was the quintessential Hoosier. Born and raised on the farm, high school basketball star, married the homecoming queen, and lived a quiet, peaceful, giving life. He was everything the obituary said, and more, but for some reason, those black letters on the paper hurt me again. He was preceded in death by his great-granddaughters, Sydney and Carynne.