My Secret Me

What is the right thing to do?? Is it right to fight for someone but at the same time hurting the ones you love?? Is what you are doing now hurting or helping the ones you love?? Is this what they want you to do?? Are we doing the right thing??

I don't know... i'm feeling so confused right now... hmm... not really confused but more like being at an intersection and not knowing which path to head down... the first road is the path most taken, the path i should take, but also the path that the ones we love may not agree to... the second path is the less-chosen path, it won't cause grief and dread to the ones we love but is this what they really want??

How simple will life be if everyone just speaks their mind... tell me, what do you want?? which path should i take?? then this world will be free of conspiracy, misunderstandings and backstabbings... i would rather everyone tell of my faults straight to my face than to spread rumours behind my back... if you want someone to listen to you, speak up... don't whisper to the person next to you...

If i were to equate today as something, today would be like a really high waterfall... starting at the top, the view was beautiful... absorbing the breathtaking view, taking in the atmosphere, with overflowing confidence and expectations, you jump... then all of it just disappears as you close your eyes, resisting the force of the wind and splashes of water all over your body... there is no turning back... there's only one way you must head - DOWN... seconds, minutes pass... finally pain sears every inch of your skin as you hit the cold, freezing water so hard that you lose your senses for awhile... fully submerged in water, you struggle to get your head above water so you can take that breath you did not manage to take before you hit the water... when you finally gain consciousness, you begin to wonder how that trill of exhilaration at the top ended up as a battle with the forces for your own life...

Today was like that... started the day full of expectations, finally the wait was over, something is going to happen, seven would be one again... instead, seven was still six... that was when the day leaped from the top of the waterfall... it started to go down, and further down when five became two... and further down when two was divided... why does it have to become so complicated?? SEVEN is not six, FIVE is not two... they are all ONE... seven is ONE, five is also ONE... is ONE that hard to count??

Tomorrow... i don't know if i want to look forward to it... i'm scared it would be bad news again... i mean, at this stage, is good news even possible?? we can't defy gravity... we can't suddenly just stop in mid-air and propell ourselves back to the top... or can we?? in my life, everything, or most, usually ends well, no matter how bad it was... but this time, i'm not sure... because it's not up to me... i didn't want to jump... but i had to do it...

Now it makes me wonder... what would i be doing, feeling right now if it wasn't for them?? would i be the person i am today, or that girl from five years ago?? would i be here on my bed typing this, or would i be typing something happier?? something so small can change a person... looking back, if i were to have chosen the roads which i didn't take, i can imagine how different i would become from the person i am now...

Looking back, i chose the roads less chosen, and i do not regret it at all... because they were all my choices, my decisions... like my favourite saying,

RECOGNITION... is it really that important?? must all the work and creation of someone be appreciated and awarded?? should we put pride in our projects??

At first i thought that it doesn't matter if the rest of the world do not like our ideas or project... it doesn't matter as long as we are proud of ourselves, for achieving what we thought was the best we could do... we only have to answer to ourselves and no one else... but the truth is, even if you do not expect recognition, your competitors will expect that you want it too...

But having Recognition taken away is different... tonight i felt that kind of feeling... the feeling of having something which is rightfully yours being taken away... yes... "pat zi ze pat zui"... but still... the feeling of not knowing... is also hard to bear... but, what the heck... i don't know what to feel or do... haih... some people really have thick skin... in this situation, i blame myself for not having thicker skin...

Hmmm... COURAGE... another quality i have to work on then... the courage to confront people... the courage to be humiliated... the courage to stand my ground even if everyone says i'm wrong...

To the people who have given up fighting because of what i have said, i'm sorry... it is me who did not have the courage to stand up and fight for what we thought was right... i persuaded you guys into believing that we were wrong and others were right... next time, we are going to fight till the end... and even if we lose, we lose with our heads held high, satisfied with the war we lost...

Well, it's better to fight the war and lose than to never fight at all... another lesson learned...

Who can ever imagine weekends to be so restless... isn't it supposed to be a time to relax and not think about anything work or school related?? no... the drama just continues... it's never rest time in University... it's just one scene after another and another... again & again & again...

Life's but a walking shadow
a poor player that struts and frets its hour upon the stage
and then is heard no more
it is a tale told by an idiot
full of sound and fury
signifying nothing.

~William Shakespeare~

Reminds me of this beloved poem we all learned in Form 1... life is but a stage... but every life is a different performance... some are plays, some are musicals, while others may be orchestras or even rock concerts... some are stories that never cease to amaze, some leaves you in tears while some are so unbearable you leave the performance half way through...

If i were to summarize my life as a stage, it would be a orchestra... so many players, sometimes more than ever needed... the pieces keep changing, every one with it's own story to be told... interpretations of every piece may differ from one listener to another, only the composer knows the true meaning behind every note and tune... all controlled by a faceless conductor, intentions unknown...

So that's my life... what is yours?? a rock concert, or a thriller movie?? no matter how bad the story or storyline is written, the story must have an ending... sometimes they say it's already written... but not in this technological era... today, life is not a stage... it's satellite television... you can change the channel anytime... you only have to look for the missing remote control...

Feel the need to clean my bed... can finally sense the urgency to do so... it's in such a horrible, messy, unorganized state i don't even have the words to accurately describe it... argh... when should i do it?? tomorrow morning then... but it would get messy and cluttered again... i wonder what will happen if i don't clean it up... oh yeah... mum will grumble and nag and scold and finally i'm forced to clean it up... what is the difference??

It has been so long since i've updated my blog... been really busy, or just lazy?? a little of both i say... so many things have happened during this time... lawsuit, departure, petitions, protests... not really about me but these things have made an impact on me in a way...

Once again the feeling of missing water after it's gone hit me... made me think if there are anymore people i take for granted, anyone who i am not appreciating enough while they are here... will i miss them after they are gone??

Cherishing and remembering a person after he or she has left... does it matter?? is it already too late?? "i miss you" - these three words... is it that hard to say?? can these three words turn back time and give me a chance of redemption - to repair and renew relationships which were lost and damaged due to the heat of the moment and the passing of time...

If only i had a little more courage... if only...

Uploading pictures taken in Form Six... suddenly i feel that i miss Form 6 so much... things are so much different in university... really wished Form 6 never ended... haih...

I miss sitting beside Chia, my class partner since Form 4...
Thengy who does everything in fast motion...
Yokie's "do you miss me??" every morning...
Honey's scribbling and weird laughter...
The sounds of Shirley's shouts when we get too noisy...
Sue's pale, zombie-like face in the morning...
Mel's robustness...
Mei's blurness...
SieYong's eternal love for Jacky Cheung...

I miss how we always sing in class...
Fangirl about DBSK...
Make so much noise till next block can hear...
How we eat and sleep in class...
The times i rule the library...
How Pn. Ling has been more than a teacher to us...
How Ms. Chan keeps nagging at us to do our assignment...
The way Mr. Teng calls us 'cha bo' or "ey... you so pretty la..." or "yo... lu kao boh sui lo..."
All the class parties we held for no reason...

Haih... they're all gone now... we can't turn back time, nor can time repeat itself... the only thing we can do now is to take a moment and just recall those wonderful times embedded deep within our minds and hearts...

Anyway, check out the album i created just for this purpose... it's on my profile in Facebook...

I really treasure the great times i had in Form Six... to those of you who were there, thank you so much for making that time the best time of my life... MISS you girls so much...

Kamsa hamnida... Saranghae yongwonhi~~

I'm never going to go to any camp again... it's not camp... it's torture... so we took off from USM at 10am on Friday, 7th July 2009... the bus we were assigned was good... a double decker with powerful air-cond... the ride to Kem Belantara Elit was really comfortable... till we reached Alor Setar... when it started to pour... heavily... when we reached Kuala Nerang, the roads were already hidden under muddy flood waters... not a really welcoming sight...


Then, we reached our beloved camp... ran in the rain to the hall... got wet, obviously... at least the facilitators let us wear our slippers... we had quite a comfortable evening, with minimal outdoor activity (only pitched our tent)... i actually slept in a tent... can you believe it?? till after dinner when the ice-breaking session started... some crappy activities which i felt did not really help break the ice... at 12am, we were sent to bed... then i was hit with a dillema... shud i go bathe or not?? the bathrooms were full and there were speculations of a night walk... at last, i just roughly clean myself...


So the nightmare begins... i went to sleep... for 2 hours till we were all awoken by the sound of a siren... stupid... there really is a night walk... haih... here we go... through the rubber estate... over the ex-paddy fields... urgh... i lost count the number of times my foot got stuck in the mud... the number of times i almost tripped... thankfully, the moon was quite bright that night... litted up the sky so at least i could see where we were going... after 3 hours of trekking through rough terrain, it finally ended... and the cleaning began... washing my shoes, pants, and finally myself... waited for the bathroom for like an hour... by the time i entered the bathroom, it was already 6am, Saturday... quickly bathed, and went back to the tent to sleep... for half an hour...

At 6.30am, woke up because of... guess what... the siren of course... did morning excercises which i think was useless in energizing us... breakfast then games... surprisingly, i did not felt as tired as i thought i would have felt... then another nightmare... survival cooking... i can't even cook... how can i survive... but no need to wait till the actual cooking... terror striked when... SURPRISE... the chinese girl in each platoon are supposed to catch the LIVE chicken... WTH!!! uttering all kinds of curses i went forth and just did it... fortunately i did not have to actually run after the chicken... the facilitators just hand the thing over to me... ewww... after that, the whole cooking session have nothing to do with me... just had a little part in helping the guys start the fire... then when the others were cooking, i was just squatting somewhere, tears flowing from my eyes... cause the smoke was unbearable...

Had no part in eating the food too... too scary... gueass what they did to the chicken... my group boil the chicken, marinate then roasted it... erm... did it work... hell NO... so when the food was ready, i was in the tent... sleeping... after the cookout, everything is a blur... i think we had station games... then at night we had a performance... every platoon was really good... humorous and meaningful... except mine... sang some songs, that's all... then off to 'bed' we went...

The next day, spirits were up... we are all going HOME... but not before some boring activities... which were held in the hall... haha... opportunity to sleep... and that was exactly what i did through all the activities on the third day... sleep sleep sleep... our last meal at camp... was the best... the drink did not taste weird and they gave us beef to eat... we were all so happy... finally going home...

Till we went up the bus... disappointment... the bus was so 'lan'... air-cond don't work... so hot... haih... doesn't really matter... slept the whole way back... reached DUP, waited for parents... my mum just told me that she couldn't recognise me that day... i look too horrible... so sad... haih... so glad it's over... i'm so going to pamper myself this holiday... taking the toll physically...

My phone DIED...

Need i say more??

Can one really get to know a person in 30 days? how much time do we need to really get to fully trust someone else? that's why i don't really like changes... i can cope well but it just annoys me sometimes... i'm feeling so messed up now... my heart is beating so fast and it just won't calm down... anxiety about not knowing what will happen tomorrow is just killing me...

I don't know if i've said this before but my coolness comes from my ability to predict what will probably happen in a situation... but when the factors involved are new and unpredictable, i can't see what will happen... it really gets on my nerve when there is something that i do not know... i don't like to be in a situation where i'm caught surprised and have to make a spontaneous decision...

Haih... it's so hard starting a new chapter... especially without those i really truly trust and love here with me... i'm so tired... not physically or mentally but emotionally... feeling so many negative emotions now... the only thing i can predict is that there's going to be more emotional swings coming... to everyone reading this, please be careful when i'm having one of my 'days'... it's going to get very ugly...

Almost forgot...


Haha... i'm officially 19 now... it feels like i have been 18 for so long... i wonder how 19 will feel... as much as i wanna be 21, i don't wanna hit the twenties... very afraid of the 2 in front... haha...

I know this is late but the 23rd of July was really the worst day ever... nothing went right... was so frustrated i wanted to bang my head on the wall... haih... thank god it's over...

Argh... really hate my hostel... INTERNET SUCKS... feel like banging my head on the wall... but that won't make any difference to the line right?? STUPID...

Thengie says she wanna jump off the Singapore bridge... no electricity?? everyone seems to wanna commit suicide... haih... what's happening???

So stupid... i accidently deleted some gadgets and settings in my blog... even my cbox is gone... so irritating... have to go find it back...

Ah... so bored... disappointed that my room has no wifi... but good also, if not, i'll be online 24/7... at the 'garden' near the cafeteria now to online... i think i should go compile my notes now... have medical check up tomorrow at 5pm but class ends at 12pm... i'm asking my mum to take me home first... suggested that i drive my way back for my appointment but as usual, mum don't let... so see how la...

Yesterday was supposed to be my interview to be an Officer Cybersaujana (Computer Room)... unfortunately, they placed the interview somewhere i couldn't find... Bilik Srikandi Saujana... where on earth is that??? i searched around the block for like 15 minutes then gave up and went back to my room...

Was really stupid... saved manga and all the USM things into the pendrive but forgot about all my songs... thankfully, my laptop has bluetooth so i transfered all the songs from my phone to my laptop... muahaha... i can't believe i even miss Big Bang...

Anyway, USM is really just a school... unlike SGGS, i feel like that really was my second home... sleep there, bathe there, play there... it's like we rule the place... but here, there's no feeling of 'Home'... even my room just feels like a hostel...

Haih... i really miss everyone and all the things which i took forgranted... you don't miss water till it's gone... it's really true... how long is this going to last?? will i ever find a new 'home'?? ahh...


Wanna have BBQ n go Seoul Garden together... Sushi is not as nice without you guys... Anyway, Bon Odori is the day after tomorrow...

So many empty promises...
So many broken ones...
So many lies...

Modu tta kojimariya
Tta kojimariya
Noui modu tta kojimariya

i miss Form six when i can sleep in class... here got no proper tables and the chairs are uncomfortable... in the Dewan Kuliah some more so cold... it's assignments after assignments... it just never ends... and in my school we have to blog about everything we learn... but then, what really do we learn in just 3 hours of lecture???

back in school, i'm always the last minute person... or i just don't do my homework... but here, everyone seems to leave their work till the very last minute... like everyone is competing to be the last person to start their work...

ah... i miss home, i miss form six, i miss my friends, i miss my car, i miss youtube, i miss DBSK, i miss 2pm, i miss tv... haih... staying in hostel, there's nothing else to do but study...

i can't wait for all this to be over...

It started on the 27th of June when i registered at USM... was about to head for Saujana when my parents realized i forgot my pillow and bedsheet... and so the rushing began...

Orientation week was not bad actually... a lot of pointless talks and LOTS LOTS LOTS of WALKING!!! it's so crazy... from Saujana to DTSP it takes me 30 minutes just to walk there... after the first day, my legs ached already... but by the third day, we became used to it... now my leg hurts no more and my calf have become more solid... hehe...

But honestly, all those talks and walking really made me tired and sleepy... thanks to that, i was able to sleep at night... something i initially thought impossible... no air-con, no bolster, no queen sized bed... when you're sleepy and worn out, you won't even notice if you're sleeping in a garbage dump...

The food i have consumed in my first week in USM was not really praisable... for me, it was just food... for the first time, i made my own mee cup... i've actually never made mee cup before... haih... that's what you get for being too pampered... i really did not want to eat mee cup but had to because of the amount of people at the cafe...

The seniors at USM were really helpful... patiently guiding us and all... kudos to them... other fellow first years were really nice too... doesn't matter who, we can just start a topic like that... orientation week is really a time where you get to mingle with people from the same hostel or students from other schools... after this week, we'll probably be meeting our coursemates more than anyone else...

Yeah... so that's basically my first week in USM... nothing much... i have some pictures but i'm too lazy to upload it now... so next time then...

I really really MISS 2PM and DBSK and EVERYONE else...

Last Friday, since it was still the holidays, my mum decided to bring us all to my grandma's place to help clean her house... it was actually 4th Aunt's idea... so me, along with my mum, 2 brothers, 2nd and 4th Aunt went back to clean grandma's house...

Our main mission was to sell off the newspapers... so we brought it down from upstairs and placed it outside... well, i was stationed outside to bring the newspaper out so that the others do not have to wear shoes and take them off again...

We completed it in around 2 hours... the total weight of newspapers, 930 kg... sold at a total price of RM 205... this is just amazing...


My arm ached after completing everything... and continued to ache for two days after...

Same like all my other post, this one is obviously late again... well, i think there's something wrong with the title because it was not really holiday for me, more for my brothers... anyway, i'll just name it 'Holiday' because i'm out of ideas...

I didn't do much during the holidays because my brothers were hogging the computer... but i hung out at Queens and managed to watch two movies, the first one is Monsters vs Aliens which i watched with my cousin... after the movie we went into Nichii and tried dresses for fun... and i really liked one which i tried.... a gold long dress... i was really nice... made me look 'expensive'... haha... unfortunately, it was a little too short and i did not have any dinners coming up, plus it was a little pricey... so i did not buy it...

The second movie i watched was Night At The Museum 2 with Thengie and Shirley... i drove to Queens alone for the first time... haha... there was one interesting thing which happened right before we entered the theater... well, we were all in the toilet and i was in the cubicle doing my business... when i was done, i opened the door and find a guy in front of me... i was so shocked and a hundred thoughts went through my mind... i actually wanted to scold him "if you wanna wait for your girlfriend, please wait outside"... thankfully i didn't... because as i was walking towards the sink, a thought hit me... that the 'guy' is actually a GIRL... duh... i wonder who's problem is it...

Fell ill two days ago... started off with stomach cramp which i thought will go off but didn't... i ended up throwing up everything i ate during the day... didn't even get to sleep because the pain was unbearable...

Was feeling better yesterday but ate only a little (consumed 2 cans of 100 plus... thank god for isotonic drinks...) and slept the whole day because of the lack of sleep during the night...

I'm alright now though... but not daring to eat too much... and still feel like puking every time i swallow something... i wanna eat chocolates badly... haih...

My brothers are on holiday and are hogging the computer...
I feel so lonely and bored without seeing 2PM... i miss them...

Oh no... there's only 1 week more till the USM application results are out... i'm not getting architecture so i can just forget all about it... it is also one month till the UPU results are out... it's kind of definite... i'm leaving Penang... i'm leaving home...

Well, this happened some time back, like a month already but as usual i'm so slow in reporting... i'm just so LAZY and too absorbed with Youtube... so only now, i report my experiences during my interviews at UTM, UKM and USM...

UTM
Ok, so i check online whether i have been called for an interview for the UTM architecture course or not, and found out that i have been called... the interview was to be held in UTM City Campus, KL (thank God it's not the main campus in Johor) on the 21st of April 2009... it was a Tuesday... so i went down to KL on Monday evening (my dad drove) and woke up REALLY early on Tuesday to head downtown... reached the campus fairly early, well before the interview time of 8am... well, once there all i had to do was wait and eavesdrop... it was really interesting listening to other people's conversations... some were informative while others were plain funny... at first, i was a little intimidated... most of the early birds were guys and at one point the ratio of guys and girls attending the interview was hugely imbalanced... it may not be strange to most people but after studying in an all-girls school for so long, i became quite uncomfortable... the other thing was that everyone was speaking in Mandarin... i can understand Mandarin quite well but i cannot converse properly in the language so i ended up standing by myself in a corner while others mixed around...

And so we waited and waited and waited... finally at 9am, exactly an hour late, the interviewers arrived... after some troubles with finding the keys to the rooms and halls, we finally settled down to take our drawing test... at first i was quite confident... i mean i took Art lessons... what could go wrong?.. plus, i overheard one of the guys saying confidently that we are just supposed to draw basic shapes like the sphere or cube... nothing hard... oh how wrong he was... the first question of the test was to draw your favourite street, complete with buildings, vehicles, people and foilage, worth 20 marks... so, skip the first question... hoping the questions will get easier, i attempted the next question... as hard... so were the next and next and next... but fortunately, i managed to finish everything on time, eventhough my answers were definitely WRONG...

After the test we waited for our turns to be interviewed... so i stood at my corner eavesdropping again... there were 2 interview rooms and i was lucky to be one of the firsts to be interviewed... well, actually, the interviews aren't those formal ones we always see on tv... it was kind of like meeting new friends, the interviewers just want to get to know you better... the questions weren't very difficult to answer but i got my tongue tied in knots when they requested me to speak in BM... it's not that i can't but i'm not that fluent and it's a little rusty... i explained the features in my favourite street and the interviewers told me that my drawing was not good enough... they asked me if i could touch up my drawing and i am very happy they gave me the chance to... so after i finished touching up my drawing, i returned it to them and got the hell out of there...

UKM
the interview in UKM was on the same week as the UTM one... on Saturday, in UKM Bangi... as i went home after the UTM interview, i had to travel down KL again for this interview... the UKM interview was scheduled at 10am so i didn't have to wake up that early... at the campus, my dad and i had trouble searching for the entrance to the faculty... we went to the back door... so went i arrived at the registering counter, everyone was already lining up to get into the hall... when everyone was in the hall, the coordinators gave us a short briefing on how the interview was going to be conducted, bla bla bla... and they also commented about our dressing... actually, i was kind of shocked too... during the UTM interview, everyone was formally dressed... even the girls wore office shirts and some of the guys came with ties... the UKM dressing was chaotic, highlighted by two blonde-haired girls wearing fitting t-shirt and skinny jeans, complete with a mini handbag... certainly an outfit fit for the pasar malam...

After the briefing, we changed location to one of the computer labs to start our test... after explaining the questions and arguing over the language used and time limit, we finally begin our test... there were only 2 questions, the first being: draw a building or monument inspired by one or more of these pictures-a tree, a car, dolphins in the sea, a model modeling batik... the second question was just to write all you know about architecture... after all i've been through in UTM, this was far better so i answered with relative ease...

After the test, what else could we do but wait for our names to be called for the interview?.. while i waited, this one guy approached me and we talked... we had met during the UTM interview so that got us discussing about the courses and what happened to each other during the interview... after quite a long wait (i'm not so lucky this time), i went in for the interview... before going into the room, they had us go through a colour blind test... and honestly, i really couldn't see one of it, but managed to pull it out somehow... the interview was not formal again, as expected... but compared to the UTM one, this was far easier... they asked me to present my drawing and just asked straight forward questions... i think the whole interview was just 5 to 10 minutes and it was all over... i got out of the room, bid my new friend goodbye and hit the highway, searching for something to eat...

USM
Unfortunately, or maybe it's just fate, i was called for an interview from USM but not architecture... i got my second choice, interior design... the sms came really last minute, on Friday evening and the interview was on Monday morning... thank God i live in Penang... but as it was already practically a weekend, i couldn't anything and just decide to just go for the interview... on Monday, i woke up early n went to USM... no probable way of getting lost even inside the campus as i am quite familiar with it by now... headed straight for the HBP faculty and there, i met again with the guy from UTM and UKM and also another girl from UTM... so we just hung around waiting for time and found out that i was the only one left out for architecture (sad)...

At 8am, the doors of the halls were opened and we were let in... but not before something caught my eyes... there was this guy standing at a corner who looks really like Kim Hyung Joon from SS501... i was really really shocked... he was so handsome but like all Malaysian guys, there's always something missing... he was not as tall as i liked him to be... oh well... but i found out that he was there for the quantity surveying interview... haih... i hope i get to meet him again... so we entered the hall and the briefing began... there were a few useful information this time like the results of the USM application will be announced on the first week of June...

After the lecture, we were ushered to one of the studios for our drawing test... as the test i did was for interior design, i cannot compare it to the others which i have taken, but it honestly, it was the easiest ever... the question was just to redesign the interior of the room we are sitting in now (the studio)... while we were busily drawing (i can't believe how much my hand trembled when i was drawing... i couldn't even draw a straight line... it wasn't even hard and they gave us plenty of time... why were my hands trembling??), the lectures for the architecture course explained the question for architecture... the question was something like draw a monument on an island with a bridge, bla bla bla... it was though... at that moment, i was thankful i am not the one facing that question...

After the test, we waited AGAIN for the interview session... AGAIN, it was not formal... asked some simple questions and some not so simple ones... i felt the interviewers and i had a pretty good time discussing some stuff... and i found out that they are interested in the Twilight series... hmm... i didn't really take the interview too seriously... the course was not what i wanted... i just feel guilty because the interviewers were really nice... it's easy to hurt the people you hate than hurt the people you love... haih... anyway, my mum's hopes of me staying in Penang is literally over...

Conclusion
Well, there's a week left till the USM results are being announced... i've told my parent that no matter what course USM is offering me, as long as it is not architecture, i'm going to reject it... so now, we're basically getting ready to leave Penang... i'm hoping i get UTM... not because i want to leave home but UTM's architecture course is the only one which is 5 years straight without a break in between... i like that... i don't want to go through the interview process again to continue to Part 2... i HOPE i get UTM...

Phew... it has been one week since my STPM results came out... and perhaps some people may think that i deliberately delay announcing my results (because it's something not to be celebrated about) ... but the truth is that i'm really very lazy... hehe...

So... back to my results... *drumroll*... 1A, 3B+ and 1B-... giving me a CGPA of 3.50... i know my results sound terrible, but if you see it from the CGPA point of view, it really isn't too bad... right?? Anyway, i only managed to ace Pengajian Am... missed out an A in Computing, so it is kind of disappointing (sorry, Mr. Teng... but the paper was really difficult!!!)... i kind of expecting some kind of a B for Physics, so no real surprise... what did shock me was Maths and Arts... i thought i would get a C, or worse, fail... so i'm a little relieved... i was hoping Arts would help me, but obviously it didn't... haih...

But overall, i'm quite satisfied with my results... i mean, i got what i deserved... my mum keeps nagging because she doesn't think i did my best, and well, i don't think i did too... oh, well... no use crying over spilled milk... and to those out there who are or are going to comment about my results or the examination, if you have not experience this first hand, please do not do so... i'm completely satisfied with my results and have no regrets regarding it at all...

If you do not know me well enough, well, i'm a girl who is strong headed (in other words... STUBBORN) and will not change my decisions, feelings or opinions just because of a few words some people say... let me warn you... DO NOT waste your breath and words on me because it WILL NOT change anything... and worse, if your choice of words or tone is not right, you might even recieve a really painful backlash of words... believe me, for someone whose results do not show much, i have a very sharp tongue... step on my tail and let the war of words begin... and guess what...

Wow... it's so long since i logged in here... too lazy and caught up in watching dramas online... what dramas??? Boys Over Flowers (kkotboda namja 꼿보다 남자) of course...











Well, this drama is actually the korean version of Hana Yori Dango (Japanese Version) and Meteor Garden (Taiwanese Version)... i'm currently watching the recent episodes online and also watching it all over again on kbs world (kbs world on astro is slower than kbs2 in korea)... and i must say that the guys of the Korean F4 are the best looking ones... hahaha... i love Lee MinHo... anyway, since the latest eipsode is not out yet, i'll just satisfy myself with introducing the cast of this drama... haha... EYE CANDY!!! *nosebleed, faints*

First up is Goo Hye Sun as the lead actress Geum Jan Di...














Next is Lee Min Ho as F4 leader and heir of Shinhwa Group, Goo Jun Pyo...















Kim Hyun Joong of SS501 as one of F4's member, Yoon Ji Hoo...















Kim Bum as F4 member and playboy potter, Seo Yi Jung...















Kim Joon as the other F4 playboy member, Song Woo Bin...















Haih... isn't this enough to make people watch this show?? anyway, this drama is really worth watching... good looking actors, great story line, lavish cars and clothes, evil witch, monkey... haha... just go watch the show and you'll know what i'm talking about...

K... that's all for now... can't wait till the final episode but don't want it to end... haih...

Four days till Chinese New Year!!! Really can't wait... making all the preparations... the most major... curling my hair... after having straight hair all my life, i really wanted curly hair for a change... why??... nobody would believe this but actually my reason for wanting curly hair is to look older... haha... funny right??... would a girl ever say that??... but seriously, with my straight hair, i look really young if you only look at my face... and when i speak you would definitely label me childish... so hopefully my new curly hair would make me look more mature... wanna see me now??... here's the before and after pictures...

Before:..................................After:










So... how is it??... it's kinda messy... i think... it really takes a lot of maintenance... and i can't comb my hair anymore (one of my favourite things to do)... but i'm ok with the results... look more mature right??... haha... well... tell me what you think...

We were driving back from Perak last week and it happened to be sunset when we crossed the Penang Bridge... Couldn't help but take a picture...












Afterglow (Picture Of you):

geude wiro to-orun taeyang mankum;
nuni bushini gasumuro kidaryeojun;
shigan mankum neol nega jikyeojulke;
kidohan modun kumi;
ganjeolhan ne hyangiro nama;
uri hyanghe isseo;
More than the air i breathe;

Well, i've been shopping a lot and have bought a lot of clothes for the new year... my wardrobe is filled with pink and red shirts already... but as always, i find getting shoes which fit me a little difficult... (SIZE 9??!! oh sorry we don't have...)

Fortunately for me, i found a pair of Pink sandals at the market yesterday... thank God they had size 40...














# Pink Shoes #

My new Pink Shoes to match my Pink Bag which i bought from the market two weeks ago...











# Pink Bag #

Now, i'm all ready for the new year... haha...

This time, it's my maternal Grandma's Birthday... there isn't much fuss about this, since all my aunts and uncles from my mother's side are staying in Penang... so we just have to go to the restaurant... where else other than Seasons? (again... twice in two weeks... that must have been some record)...

This time was different though... we requested a room with a karaoke set... mostly old songs but it was enough to satisfy my cousins and aunts who keep repeating 'Dancing Queen'... and my uncles who love Jacky Cheung...

We started the night by taking family photographs... caused some confusion among the restaurant staff because nobody wanted to take a seat at the table... we were just running amock and they don't know if they should serve us food already...












# whole family photo - not going to name everybody #

And the prettiest photo taken on that day goes to...











... my Grandma and her twelve grandchildren...
# me (eldest) with ray (youngest) - so cute!!! #

Yup... one week after my Grandpa's Birthday Celebration, my parents, brothers and i set out to Cameron Highlands... i've been there a year ago with my friends and a bunch of other people, but the biggest difference was this time, it was peak period... one year ago i would have never believe that Cameron could get so crowded... and guess what... i found out i have car sickness... the winding roads there just took the fun out of everything...

On the first day, we went to the Boh Tea Plantation via winding roads and had a cup of tea...











Then, we went to the Bee Farm where i almost got into hysteria...














Later, we went to the pasar malam there, got some food and marvelled at the beautiful moon...











The next day, my dad woke us up to watch the sunrise but obviously i continued sleeping...











After breakfast we found this giant pumpkin...











#Hmm... bippiti boppiti boo... haih... nothing happened...#

Then we went to the Boh Tea Factory to see exactly how tea is made... ARGHH... major headache...











# the sight of the award winning building temporarily cured my aching head #












# At the tea making factory #

After that was the Mossy Forest... not for the faint hearted... to my dad's friend who recommended this, you owe me big time...











Back at the hotel, we played pool...












Then tried monkey bars...











# Ow... now not only my head hurts, my arms too... #

Last morning at Cameron...











# Family photo #

What have we gained from this trip:

1. No more trips to Cameron
2. A battered car
3. Car sickness
4. 2 bonsai plants
5. 6 cactuses
6. A whole lot of memories
   

This actually happened on the 6th of December... but being the slowpoke that i am, i'm writing this one month later... hehe... so on the 5th of December, most of my beloved family from KL came to my humble sanctuary in Penang... then we went shopping(Gurney)!!! it seems customary for my aunts to shop in Penang... hmmm...

On day 2 (6th December 2008), it's Queensbay this time but have to rush home for the big dinner... Reached home and stared at the clock stupidly coz i ended up with half an hour to bathe, apply make-up and look stunning... impossible... well, i managed to do everything, except try on my newly bought fake eyelashes... haha... it still needs some experiment...












# me~jun~josey~ #

So we arrived for dinner at Seasons Restaurant... unfortunately, Grandpa had a bout of stomach discomfort... although it did dampen the mood a little with everyone worried about our main cast, we did not cease to enjoy ourselves and the food, which goes wasted every year...












# grandma~grandpa #

Nevertheless, it was still a successful family gathering for the Moey family... Can't WAIT for Chinese New Year!!!

Hmm... well, i was just wondering (ok i'm lying... something really pissed me off)... you know how it's in the morning and it is a custom for everyone to greet everyone else a good morning... but what if you don't feel good that morning? Can you bring yourself to lie and say "Good Morning"??

Well, i don't know about you but i can't lie to myself and wish someone "Good Morning" when actually i don't mean it... seriously, just imagine yourself having to wake up at six in the morning, get ready in half an hour, drive half-awake, and still have to walk five minutes to your final destination... do you call that a good morning? uh-no... not for me, at least...

So knowing my morning, would someone still wish me good morning? well, yes... to that someone, it seems polite... but have that person thought about the insincere, half-hearted reply i was going to give and have given? i guess not...

Well, in the end, my morning had just gotten worse... feeling guilty about giving a meaningless reply... that's just great... next time, ladies and gentlemen, before wishing others a good morning, why not just ask that person how he or she feels first before wishing? not only will it stike up some conversation but maybe you could help them as well...

In conclusion, no more 'Good Mornings'... i don't like it... haha...

Seriously...

Hah!!! STPM is over at last... well, over for a month that is... but i've just been horribly busy (or L.A.Z.Y) to update my blog... now i've really settled into my post-exam mood... the feeling of happiness and relief are fading and now i'm kinda feeling hopeless, like i'm wasting away my time and brain cells watching foreign gameshows and wierd dramas... unfortunately, i love them... haha... there's so much i want to do but all the those things are just for entertainment and are seriously a waste of brain cells... haih...