almost living

Past two weeks, i finally had some time to fulfill a promised made to myself a while back. This round i did not go anywhere. Waking up every morning at 630am, went for a brisk walk with both my parents. Came back an hour later and we had breakfast together. We would talk about all the stuff in life...about our views on things happening around us; watching tv together. When i got tired, i would sneak up to my room and take a short nap. Waking up to lunch or sometimes tea. Life for the past two weeks have been a life which i have not lived for a long while. It felt really good.

Grandma came to stay with us for a few days, in those few days...i spent alot of time with her. She would sometimes fall asleep in the chair while watching tv in our living room. The weather was cooling for those few days she was with us. Before i went home this round, i bought some paper facial masks from Face Shop, wanting to try them on my grandma...my colleagues laughed and teased saying i'm using her as my 'lab rat', i was just thinking it would be cool to let her try it for once. On a quiet afternoon when everyone else was out, my grandma sat in the living room watching her afternoon drama, i managed to persuade her to try on one. She has never done this in her entire life, and was reluctant intially, but gave in to my persuasion eventually. 20mins later, she looked into her mirror...gently patted her face few times, she asked me how much was the mask :) it seems better than her face cream she said. She wanted me to get her a few more packs when i get back next. I can't help but laugh. I took a picture of her sitting at the chair with the mask on. Showing it quietly behind her back to the rest of my aunts/uncles/parents, they were surprised i managed to convinced her into putting that on.

Aunt came over and fetched us out for breakfast almost every morning. Everyday we will try different places and sometimes we would go for a walk at a nearby mall only coming back in the noon, I've never felt so at home for such a long time.
One morning when we were having breakfast together...grandma suddenly mentioned about her past...she said her sister once asked her when they first came to the city, if they were 'sua-ku' and couldn't catch up with the town-culture; married to my grand uncle and my grandfather; they were from a poor fishing village about an hour drive from the town my grandfather lives, and so happens that my grandfather and my grand uncle were cousins. So both the sisters married into the same family. Life was tough for her back then, having born into a family of 6, being the third daughter she never had a chance to study. She never met my grandfather before the wedding, just like most couples were back then. My grandfather was considered quite well to do back then, having his own sundries shop...business was pretty good. And when my grandma married into the family, she of course would have to help out around the shop...as well as taking care of my great grandmother. My grandma said life begins very early but she was used to the hours having grown up in a fishing village where most people will have to be at sea way before dawn. Back home, she would carry a bucket and a small shovel...and she would follow people to the beach and start digging for shellfish or clams. When she got married and moved to the town, life is alot different. Even the clothes the town people wear are so much different compared to hers. Having no close relatives nearby(my grand aunt stays some distance away), all she has was an unfamiliar guy she has to call husband. These stories she has told me plenty of times, but one thing she never mentioned until that morning...whenever my grandfather wasn't in a good mood or feeling agitated...he would tell my grandma '620 ringgit, we bought you back to do work!'. When she told me this that morning, i can see tears welling up in her eyes. I can almost felt her ache. I never would have thought my grandfather would say such thing...but i guess i will never understand how life and how people view lives back then. Even so, they have been married for 50 over years. When my grandfather died 7 years ago, she still pretended to be strong and tried so hard not to cry in front of us. Whether there have been any love or not, when you've spent so much of your lifetime together, no matter how much the pain has wrought your heart, how little the joy it has been...it will always be a memory that will never been taken away till you hit the grave.

Two weeks went by in a glimpse, I'm already back to my own life. But i will return again, very soon...i want to hear all of the other untold stories.

Sometimes getting a lil incentive for yourself might just perk up some of your days. In my case, i have been struggling to decide if i should get a replacement for my failing laptop. After about a month, i finally decided it's not just quite the time yet...so today at COMEX, i went to get myself a different incentive instead...an LED 23" monitor...perhaps the joy wont be as much as getting a replacement for my lappy...but the sharp display its doing for my WOW and movies from now on...is well worth my drool for now. i'm dualing it up...so i can chat/surf on 1 monitor...while i wow or watch movie on the other one...nice! =D

Ok, its 230 in the morning and i should really get to bed...there's still work to be done, despite the new iphone is already busy restoring itself from the old image...i have yet to shower and tons of ideas that i would want to get them done now...but life sucks when its still a weekday. I guess I'm just gonna hold it down for now and talk about this some other time...

With all the ruskus at work today on the iphone4 launching, i barely have enough time to gather myself for the bigger things to come. After all i did spent an entire hour refreshing the page on singtel trying to get my booking in place for tomorrow...guilty; i know...one of these days i'm gonna have to pay back the price in a much bigger way...i can almost smell it from the air right now.

Today, I got assigned to help out on a much bigger project, one that has grown out of proportion that my colleague alone couldn't handle. I suppose it's time for me to pickup my pace now. Though honeymoon has been over many months ago, somehow...i have not been fully stirred from my slumber yet. I am just hoping for a much calmer weather after the wake up call...for tomorrow; things may start to get a little bumpy.

It could have been just another quiet nite, after coming home from my french class, feeling much more tired than usual...and spending some quiet time chatting with bbfren over msn...just right past midnite, a voucher came in...


Damnnn im so gonna glue myself on my seat tomorrow by 1:50pm!

After having a blast on the volunteer event last weekend, i got this piercing pain in my back when i woke up on wednesday. From that day onwards, everytime i sat for longer than 10mins...when i stood up, i get this numbing pain at my lower back which sometimes require me to wait for a good 10secs or so before i can start walking again. So much for being able to blend into with the 20something last weekend...and barely even a week after, my old bones are already singing the tunes of the opposite.

Though i was feeling rather out of place for the first half of the first night, the volunteers were mostly uni students or old aunties or those that just started working and still doing their probation with their first job. Towards the second half of the night and thereafter...the feeling was no longer there, and in its place i felt a new thrill...something which felt good. I was pretty much reassured later, when they awarded me one of their  'best volunteer' title, yah! they actually had that award...i didnt even know till the end of 2nd night when they gave out a small token of appreciation to those they thought had did a great job ushering the crowd, giving out fans and booklets and giving out friendly information etc. This felt almost as good as a promotion at work :P I know....this may sound a lil lame, but still...it was a good feeling.

Today, though if given a choice, i would have stayed home and try to get some rest that was suppose to be long due...i had to drag myself out of the house again at 10 in the morning. The weather was fine, despite the warning from the met department saying they predict thunderstorms over the weekend (not that i ever listen to them, but just i suppose these people are just paranoid now after the recent floods). I went out to fulfill a commitment i made 2 weeks ago; my rock climbing certification. After enduring 6 gruesome hours of classroom and practical lessons, AND a soon-to-turn blue-black index finger...AND an even more painful back...AND having a pair of hands which does not feel to be mine anymore....i got another plastic card!

The sky's rather gloom this morning, with the drizzling rain this morning...i'm praying for a much more finer weather tonite. This is the night of the festival, an event which i have volunteered for many moons ago. I'm recovering from my cough, hopefully by the time i finish these antibiotics(tomorrow) things would look and feel much better. For tonight and tomorrow, I will have to endure another 7 hours of work from 7pm-2am. Having seen some event previews last night, something within me felt secured...i was still feeling uncertain while waiting at the hall before the briefing last night. As the crowd of volunteers began to gather for the briefing, i noticed a pattern...a pattern that made me feel as if i might have made the wrong decision volunteering for such event. A slight fear. I can count the number of working professionals among the crowd. Most of them are students, teens and some retirees. Though towards a much later time, a few did arrive after work...at least i dont feel that much of an outcast anymore. Perhaps i might feel alot better tonight, since i'm in casual today...and hopefully like bbfren says, i would be able to blend in.

Singapore Night Festival 2010

Sometimes, i say things...and sometimes, for very rare occasions...i say even more things that i end up regretting or thinking i've said alot more than i should (what am i talking about?). Perhaps everyone in this world should learn how to conceal at least some fraction of their feelings instead of having to stand naked in front of people, parading away your ugly assets. Or perhaps everyone else already did, just...i have yet to learn. I have just imparted a small piece of my true self to a friend; a friend which i do not even know if would appreciate it or take it as some hot air venting out of an old air condition shaft-not a decent feeling.

Not so long ago, i told someone about expectations. Expectation is something that can kill you. Today, it didn't almost kill me...but at least, it has cut a wound inside me. All this while, i have been telling people about my upcoming volunteer work and people have been very encouraging...supportive and willing to go all out to support the event. Deep down inside, i know some are just doing so out of courtesy...and even deeper down inside...i know some are genuine. But just when you thought the genuine ones are the true friends closer to your heart, you may be surprised to find that...they might be the courteous ones after all. Thats when it hits you, are your true/close friends really so? Or are you just living in your own world that you regard them as they are but in fact, to them...you are just another normal friend? This part; where expectation meets reality; when it collides...someone is bound to get hurt...and usually, it will be the one who's holding the expectation card. Why do i always get caught holding such cards? Maybe it's time i quit playing, i've lost quite a few good hands already.

Sometimes i wonder if it's me or it's just the people i know. If 'mean' is a word you use to describe someone who speaks what they think, what do you call those that have the same thought but just couldn't bring themselves to be true to the people? And instead of facing it they'll try all their might to avoid another confrontation. While I was being easily labelled/and called by those very same people as a 'meanie', the rest of them would still be living in a joyful make-believe world where the people they are uncomfortable with still doesn't know they have been branded. Have our decency knows no border? Do we just blindly give it out at all times and for all occasions? How far can we go breaking ourselves in order to just be 'nice'?

Alot has happen within the two weeks of my non-update.

Most glaring of all, was my feeling over a friend...i was rather upset for a while by how a close friend treated me when he was short on cash. I guess when we're a lil tight in the wallet, we tend to be tight around the neck too...in this case, its the necks of your friends that we are trying on. Some people might have reacted differently given the situation but i guess when we are facing issues...each of us have our own ways of handling them. Some may have done so in a self sustaining way, some...will play it on others and push most of the frustration on; in this case...will always be one of your closer friends. Perhaps to think in a better perspective, it is because of my friendship with this person; if it hasn't been good, he wouldn't have dared to conduct such an act on me. Oh well...i guess life goes on...

Now, apart from having to vent further on the earlier point(i think i have vented enough already)...life hasn't been that bad. E2 starts today. I have moved from doing the same SOLO mundane moves in Wingchun to sparring with a partner now. I think I'm progressing pretty well. I should show those people who thought its a joke that i'm taking WingChun classes. Pffftttt....

Last Saturday's Annual D&D was a blast...despite me having a sore gum and wasn't able to eat much at dinner...and not to mention another year without any luck on the draws (sighs!). A sony laptop, a trip for 2 to shanghai...and not even a 1000$ shopping voucher :( . What was the blast then? I would have thought i may have to escort some aunty home right after dinner, but turned out...me, the aunty and a quite a number of the hot-heads went on to a club right after dinner. 70 floors above. It was no heaven; quite the contrary...there we commited sins. I haven't stayed that long in a club for ages (though i still think the DJ sucks)...it was not till the lights were all on that we realized its time to go home and get some sleep. The next day, i woke up with half my face swollen and a sore butt. And i had to take a day off on Monday. Maybe its time to consider retirement.

Then i have my Night Festival event coming 2 weeks from now. I'm already getting slightly spirited about it. Hopefully its gonna be something fun. This Saturday I'm gonna help Kev shift his place, im just hoping i dont have to sit at the back of a lorry; but then again...it might be a good experience, such thing dont come often anyway...and i have got that 5 clicks Race Against Cancer run on Sunday morning. These days, 5km is like 'eating vege'. I may sound a lil arrogant but hey...if its vege...its vege ok! Robot is expecting me to think of a good b'fast place...obviously to him, the 5km is really nothing to worry about...the b'fast venue would be a bigger headache in this case. I should start getting to know my area more, after all the race is just around where i live...wouldn't wanna end up proposing something like McBreakfast...its gonna look bad.

Ohhh...and last friday, we met up with this friend of ours...one who we haven't seen for a fair bit of time. She came marching with the new soulmate. Not that we have seen any ex(s) before, but then...knowing this girl...i guess she's all contented with what she has now. After all, its her 'ambition' to get married someday. If you're reading this, yes...i'm talking about u! :P But frankly, we are all very happy for you =) really!!!

It was not too long ago that i bragged about how i'm occupying my Tuesday nights now. Today marks the end of my E1 French. As one of my classmate quotes "It is sad but yet a relief". Coming from someone who had to drag her very soul to class every Tues. I couldn't find any better word for her than a 'relief' indeed. Though i doubt she would miss using the language much, but i guess this is not something which you will find in everyone.

I'm moving on to my E2 next week. My new found ability makes me hunger for more. I'm seeing myself reading more and more; trying to figure out the speech pattern or even try to construct new lines for everyday use. It is tiring, yet enjoyable. Something which i hope i can keep up for a fair bit more.

Ohhh and tonite, there's more! Time to have some fun with my newly downloaded iOS4! Hopefully i dont break this thing till i get my new replacement =)

It's another rainy morning. The weather is getting a lil unpredictable these days. It was all hot and sunny yesterday; it's close to 11am now, the heavy rain clouds are still hanging in the almost mid afternoon sky. Maybe another downpour in the afternoon wouldnt be such a bad thing after all.

I've got a call from the musuem on Monday, a call which i have been waiting for and thought would probably not arrive. I applied to be a volunteer at the musuem's Night Festival event come July two weeks ago. I wrote in with my application form in which i had to admit, i didnt spend alot of effort on. But my hopes were high back then thinking I would probably get it regardless of my lack of effort in answering the questions on the application form. After 2 weeks, when my hopes were dampening and almost diminished to nothingness (esp after i chanced on an article in the papers about volunteer work in musuems over here are overwhelming high); i got a call right after lunch on Monday inviting me over to the national musuem for an interview come Saturday. I was thrilled! And i spent the rest of my afternoon telling colleagues, close friends etc about it. Yah, i realized i'm somewhat of an attention whore. I get excited too quickly and i had to tell everyone i know about it...then after i'm done or ran out of air, I lay flat like a balloon. I dont feel that much of the thrill anymore, not to say i'm not interested...it's just the spark to actually tell people about it has died a little somewhat. I'm still eagerly awaiting for Saturday. It's my first volunteer work of such and i do not know what sort of interview it may be, what questions i would be asked, how should i dress, what is expected of me...and even i'll get selected for the job in the first place. Though most of my friends were saying they have confident i'd get it; at this moment i would rather keep my hopes a litle lower. I know i wouldn't like the disappointment.

Another airport, another feeling. Strangely everytime I manage to have some extra time at the airport I'd think abt those days when I use to travel. The airports that I've seen. The streets and busses heading to the terminal. It puts me at ease. It's a comforting feeling. Not the kind that overwhelms u entirely but a light emotion, just sufficient for you to feel the hint of nostalgia. A feeling which I'd enjoy more with a cup of latte. Maybe not today. I still have half a coke to go and the bones from my mcwings meal. It's only 8pm. Boarding is still 20mins away.

Not so recent ago, my new office bought a Le Cube machine. This tiny machine stirred quite a few conversations in the office after that.
It's a Nespresso coffee machine.

Ever since then, those sitting on the upper levels have been making use of this machine almost every morning and noon. For those of us who aren't really there yet, were hoping we could get a sip of the heavenly taste too. The small lil cubes that you slot into the machine, will make about 1/3 cup of coffee. Different color codes will have different blend and intensity. Last week, after much pestering from my fellow colleagues i finally went over to ION to get a discovery box. This box of 36 cubes cost about 140$ and contains all the colors/blends available for sale. Today, after lunch...we finally break our regime of going for coffee/tea. Like kids with new toy, we came back and spent a good while picking our favourite color. Now after half an hour, i can still smell the aroma from my cup...I guess the box of 36 will not last us very long.

The Caged Bird Chronicle - The venting machine

Recently, i have gotten fond of reading contemporary stuff. The caged bird recommended Em one of his books. 
I got a glimpse of it and decided to google the name. 16 pages of preview read from Amazon later, turns out i had to agree the japanese author wasn't really that bad after all. 
Contemporary reads can be a killer sometimes. Some author would express things very well at the beginning but somewhere in middle, they would run out of air and go flat all the way to the end. 
The dreadful feeling of having to go through the rest of the books in such a manner...i'd usually give up after half. 
Whenever i look back at those books i'm not able to finish, a sense of regret would washed over me. 
It is not a feeling i enjoy having. Anyway, after lunch yesterday i got my new book-The Wind-up Bird Chronicle...recommended by its caged brethen. How ironic.

Today, we sat down for tea after lunch. T was a lil reluctant at first when our chain-bound friend asked to sit down for tea right after lunch but he obliged anyway, just like how he usually is.
Friend got his tea, and both me and T got barlie instead. Lighter on the stomach and they come in a ready to go plastic cups; in case we need to bail before we can even finish. 
Who would have thought the conversation that followed almost brought us to the bottom of our cups when we're done. Friend was puffing hot air again, this time again, about his rental and how he finds it difficult to rent out his room.
Paying much of his payroll to rental is not something anyone would be happy about. He was again venting off his frustration. Sometimes i wonder, could it be that you only feel frustrated after 2 years of relationship?
Whatever happen to happy ever after? Someone once said i grew up watching too much fairy tale...but if love is not based on fairytales, what else can it be based on?
If you have to apply logic and reasoning to love, do you still call it love? The world is a place full of objectives. Everything that we do, we must justify, quantify and reason.


The Caged Bird Chronicle - The high speed train

The tea sessions are becoming of a routine now. Everyday, well...almost everyday after lunch if we have too much left on the minute hand, we would go sit down by one of the local tea house and have a cuppa and talk about whats bothering us in life. The caged bird, being new to our society has been feeding us with inside news of life within the cage. A life whose previously was unknown to most of us. 

The cage has been exported out of the country over the weekend due to work where she would remain for another week or two. The bird is set free for now, and has been doing alot of chirping outside some estranged trees since the last weekend. I suppose this would go on for another week, or at least till he's back in the cage again. Frankly, i think i'm beginning to 'enjoy' these after lunch sessions that we are having. Perhaps i've grown curious of our newly acquired friend, maybe his shroud of mystery will die out once i've seen through the mists of his clouded life. I'm still not quite sure which would that be, but for now...i'm letting my curiousity drive.

I dont remember exactly if it is out of abruptness that he brought up the topic or perhaps we were even talking along those lines. Anyway, that is of least importance. What is; is the fact that he told us he would get married if it is what makes the other half happy. He is in no means or at least having any feel or rush of tying the knot...but if it is what makes the relationship tick, he will do it - i have to quote the precise words, "If it makes her happy, I will be happy too. If getting married makes her happy, i dont mind doing it". Both myself and T looked at each other for like more than a brief sec, knowing not what to say at first. Then our eyes made a solemn pack and we silently gave up on our friend. Maybe he fell into the rabbit hole when he was growing up. He is in Lala land; a place where the genie plays the harp and grants you wishes and cinderalla still wears her polished glass slippers, happily singing lullabies with her fairy godmother waiting to be engaged to prince charming. Sometimes i thought i could be the only one on earth with all these little 'perfect' relationships in my head-which will probably not come true, but today...i feel so dwarfed over by this guy. The wheels of the train is already in motion, the wedding plan has been set off...there's no turning back but to press on and hope for the best. Or he can jump out of the window now and get all bloody or die, which would be foolish. In this world of over 6 billion people; there are generally 2 types of us...one who get married for the love and company. The other, who get married first then prayed that they would gain the effects after. And there are usually two outcomes; either they pulled through alright and live a full, contented life...or they fail miserably, dragging their days till the end and pray that in the next; they might get luckier. There might be a 3rd outcome where you can sever any knots and start off fresh again, but then again who are we to fool? We would eventually fall into the cycle again.

It's Wednesday. Mid of the week always seem the longest. The dreadful feeling of having to endure another 3 days till the weekend, the joy of already completed half of the weekdays; its a mixed bag of feeling. Confused yet happy. Uncertain yet full of anticipation. 

I woke up this morning feeling a lil lethargic. I have not get my well deserved rest lately. I wouldn't say its work again. The fact that i have so easily blamed everything on my past job makes me wanna do it again. But even this time i couldnt bring myself to such a lie. I have gotten active on WoW again, and with life kicking in at its never-seen-before force; Wing Chun on Mondays, French on Tuesdays, Gym on Wednesdays and Fridays; i barely have enough time for anything else. And if i pack my weekends with outings, movies and casual dinings; I can be pretty sure the following week, i would have accumulated another bag of puff under my eyes and a set of heavier bones to be dragged across the next week. The tardiness would be doubled by then. I need to work out a balance.

Sel has been gone for more than 2months now, talking to her recently, listening to her new developments and recent changes in life. At times, i admire her courage, her spirit and her determination. Having the guts to throw everything that you ever owned and cared, flew across the pacific; braving the foreign weather looking for a new shelter. One which even for my standard, find hard to achieve. I dont think i would ever whip out such courage. Although the idea would seem tempting at times but certain things would always be just a good-to-have thought. One which perhaps one day when you wake up from your bed and you have a feeling so strong, it suddenly becomes something achievable. But until that day, I'll lock that thought at the back of my head.

I cant say i've seen alot of bad (or good) romances in life, but i guess having enough people around you...sharing their stories about life and all; opens up alot of possibilities to the theme.

NGF has joined our inner circle only recently. At first, i have to admit i was feeling rather reserved towards him. He's making his advancement in the ranks within circle way too fast. And when someone is always too eager to please, i have to cast my biggest doubts on them. Anyway, that should be an entirely different chapter for some unprecedented time.

For once, i felt sorry for him last night. It's our first French class, he looked completely washed-out after. Apparently, he had just shifted to his new flat in the morning, rushed to work...and had to endure the 3hours classroom after. By the time we finished class it was already 930pm, he was fumbling to call 'home' and i overheard him reporting his whereabouts to his fiancé (wooo hooo another french word) and that he is making his way back. I still feel sorry for him, i honestly do. M referred to him as a caged bird. I added; wet. Even if he's let out of the cage at times, i doubt he can fly at all. Such is life. Or in French, they say C'est La Vie.

Today's the day i started my French class. After years of thinking if i should pick up Jap, Italiano etc. I guess partly because of work or the crowd, that I've decided on French...and thus, my next step to mastering another language (i hope!).

Although i may say its been quite a mind-numbing experience. And it's only my first lesson. Having to go through a 3hour classroom after work is not an easy task. Though my french-canadian teacher has been more than accommodating, having conducted the class in a more fun learning experience...but i guess the its the participation that sucks the juice out of most of us.

Today i learn how to say "Bonjour, Je m'apelle Joey", "Jeus Suis Malaisien".
The R is the killer...i almost choke myself with my saliva while practising on the way home. Then there's the count from 1-29...ahhh i would very much like to continue counting but i really lack the mental capacity to do that right now. I guess i should call it an early night and dream about something totally unnecessary. Too bad I didn't learn how to say Good Nite...perhaps some other nights.

I had my rain check birthday lunch with Kev yesterday, after a sumptuous jap at Esplanade we talked about how life used to be when we were young. I told him about the story of Land and the Farmer, and how i wondered humans are so ungrateful most of the time; and he relayed to me a very familiar story of our growing up time.

We weren't from a rich family but i'd say our parents earn enough to bring us up without us having to go through much of painful child labour. When we were young, my mother did not have the luxury to buy us toys whenever we asked for...i think from the very beginning, we know our limits and we hardly even ask for anything. You get toys when adults get you, you dont ask for it. Simple as that.

There's this particular box of Monopoly, my mother kept it on the top shelf of her wardrobe. She would occasionally brought it out for us to play when we did something good or on special occasions. Yeah, it was just a box of Monopoly. It wasnt those in cheap A6 size box where the board was made of paper and you can fold it 4-6times. This box of monopoly would have cost quite a sum back then. Nice cardboard with everything neatly printed. We would always treasure the time when we get to lay our hands on the dice and touch the soft-printed paper money. If the box were given to us right from the beginning, we probably wouldnt treasure it as much anymore...and it would probably get really dirty and most likely we would have gone bored of it after a week or two.

Such is the way of life...when you get to have something so easily; without much effort or sacrifice...we would grow tired of it very quickly too...so play hard to get when you can, for life is just another game of Monopoly.

A friend of mine recently relate to me a particularly intruguing
story. Of a Farmer and a Land.

Once upon a time, there is a piece of Land. Perhaps during its glorier
days have been pretty captivating.
But as time moves on, the Land began to dry...and the number of
farmers interested in this piece of land has decreased dramatically.
There is one particular Farmer though, for few years have not given up
on this piece of land. This Farmer nurtured the land whenever a chance
is given.
The Land knew the Farmer was interested and keen to acquire it to
start a garden or perhaps grow it into a potato farm, with lotsa small
potatoes.
But the Land being the choosy one chose to keep that Farmer at bay and
rather let no one tend to it instead. Years gone by, not a single new
and potential farmer show up...and the Land grew wearier as it began
to dry up. The price of the Land has dropped significantly. Bidders
were few or none. Except for the particular Farmer who still bid the
Land at its once peak price. In the end, the Land finally accepted
that bid. I would believe the Farmer would have been the most happiest
person. Finally the bid has won the Farmer its prized Land. But will
the prized Land be worth the same land it used to be back then? And
will the Land still be satisfied with the bid price...and produce the
Farmer with equal quality of flowers and potatoes? Will the Farmer be
forever happy although knowing that it is not the Land's first choice
but rather no-choice?
Life is mostly about demand and supply, but in this case...life is
just fascinating! Stay tuned for the next boring episode of the Farmer
and its mundane piece of Land.

All my life...from the moment i started drinking till this day, i have never consume more than 3 cups of gourment coffee per day.
But on this day of my 32nd anniversary i took up a challenge to down 4 in 4 hours. Thats a simple math of 1 cup / hour!
Although i do not need to fork out a single cent, it is not the monetary value that i worry about. What lies ahead...is frightening.
Machiato, Latte, Mocha and Cappucino. The cocktail mixologist in me were screaming when the challenge was thrown, i gulped it down and pressed on.
Its 1630, and i still have the Cappucino and about 1/4 of Mocha to go. I'm feeling rather sick already. I hope I wont throw up in office and make fool in front of my new colleagues.

This is my 2nd week into my 5th or 6th job. I couldnt properly keep track now. Like all the past jobs I've held, the first 6 months to a year...it is all good and jolly...well, most of the jobs at least. This one is no difference and i'm keeping the ball rolling on my own with a few gentle push and tugs.

I've been to the Gym twice now with M, my new staff pass allows me access to Intercontinental's Clark Hatch for free. The first thing among others which i'm glad about. I've made a pact with M, this will be our Thursday evenings from now on.

Next best thing should come in May; and it will most likely occupy my Wednesday nights...but the story will have to wait until then.

This evening, after work... myself and Terrence rushed over to Lavendar eagerly seeking our new thrill. After paying 160$, and 1.5hours later, we both agreed that we would be doing this again for many more times to come. Though we both left feeling alot worse...AND better than before. Worse for the fear of what tomorrow may bring to our fragile and weak body...better for the fact that we are now acolytes of Sifu Chua. We just acquired our Level 1 - 小念头. We can bring some pain to petty thieves now! My new Monday routine for many more months to come; or at least that's what i hope.

That leaves me with only Tuesday and Friday. If all goes according to plan, my Tuesdays will be filled up pretty soon. And I think I'm gonna leave my Fridays for some Happy Hour, just in case ;)

From the thrill and new breath of air when i stepped out of my old company, to my uneventful but relaxed break back home, to the hazy weather and chilly streets of Hanoi. Time has flown by me by 3 weeks or so.

I've managed to finished the book of souls and left it in the good hands of dylan. The tiring trip to Halong Bay...the dreadful 3.5hours drive from Hanoi to Halong City...the boring boat ride into the bay but splendour cave exploration...and the other dreadful 3.5hours bus ride back to Hanoi...with a drunken German guy bashing away political trash with an American at the back of bus...its all a very tiring 'adventure', and it was just the only beginning. Not to mentioned i've been conned twice by cab drivers...one armed with a fake taxi meter that beats even faster than my old heart could take, the other...a pretentious scumbag who 'mistakenly' took my 100k as 10k, and i only realize it till way after.

On my 3rd day, just when i'm waking up from a late night of watching 'the nottie and the hottie' with dylan till 3am, i was greeted with the news of his father's passing. He was up way earlier than me and was already rushing out of the door right after telling me to make myself at home and to lock up the doors when i leave on Sunday. I was still...striken. The entire day, i couldnt help but to think of the tragedy...a death all so sudden...and it had to happen when i was visiting. Somehow it took a big bite on my mood for the rest of the day. I spent the day wandering the museum and old prison house...and having ice cream...and again, walking by the big lake. I paid a persistent motor driver - Van, 140K for taking me around the few places in his motorbike. Something which i thought would probably help clear my head from the weather, i'm glad it did somewhat. It's another hazy day out, a gray afternoon and it began to drizzle past 6pm just right after i was done with some light souvenir shopping. I decided to flag a cab back and had a quick dinner by the cafe downstairs.

It's 930pm back home...830pm local time. The nights' still new, the streets still bustling with honks and beeps. I just wish tomorrow would come sooner, I'm eager to go back home. I've booked another ticket...one earlier than my supposed flight. One which i've spent a handsome amount on...but the thoughts of having to spend another full day here having to wander town alone in such a mood sort of makes everything worthwhile. I'm only looking forward to go home, spend some time in the company of friends and silently prepare for my 1st new day at work. I hope dylan is pulling through alright, i made a silent prayer at the shrine by the museum earlier. In the hopes that his father would find redemption soon.

Today is 立春. Today is also the day I sign my new employment contract. Today, is the day I resign from my current company. Today is a good day indeed.

This new year, for the past 6 days; i can't say it's been the best the new year i've seen. And yet, it wasn't the worst either. I dont recall having a start which is really that bad to be called worst.

On new year's eve, there was Karaoke with the folks from work. We got early release on that day, so we sang our hearts out at Party World till 8PM. Though i'm still having my stiches over the spot where my right wisdom tooth used to be..i did a couple of oldies to soothe the pain. Then we went over to Cineleisure to catch Avatar in 3D, was a pretty interesting show. My 2nd 3D movie, so far i have not been disappointed in any way. Well worth the price of 13$.

By the time we finish the show it was already 1130ish PM. Almost due for countdown. A few people ran off right after the movie, fearing the crowd after the countdown. I stayed behind with another friend, we rushed over to Marina; was halfway across cityhall by the memorial...when they let off the fireworks. So we just stood by the roadside, spending about 15mins tilting our heads over the lights. Not the most mesmerizing fireworks i've seen, but i suppose its better than watching a pathetic tv box at home.

Got some icecreams from Ah Pek by the road side for 1$ a cup and headed for supper. Called a cab and reached home by 330am. Not a bad one i must say. I'm grateful for the company that i keep.

6 days onwards, i made a decision. Today, i told my boss that i would agree to take up the new post that he offered me the day before the year ended. No, it is not a promotion. It is just a change of role. Someone resigned, i was just offered a chance to fill-in. Judging from the lack of things on my department...i dont suppose i would have alot of 'choice'. I have my dream. But sometimes dream have to give way to reality. Perhaps my dream will have to be on hold till my next slumber. Reality checks are always painful. For now, i guess i'm just gonna have to bear with the pain, grit my teeth and move on. I'm feeling alot restless, hopefully the dust would settle soon. I do not like this feeling, where i'm trying best to gauge, to feel what i'm suppose to be feeling...like finding a missing button in the dark with your eyes close...and not recalling if your button is square or round...this is not a good feeling, it's not easy to get people to share either.

i'm hoping its all gonna turn out better, for a better year and when the year comes to an end, i can relook into this entry and said i've done a pretty good job. Like BBfren use to say, Hope Springs Eternal. I only hope eternal is forever.