Baby Girls

Wow, its been almost a month since we had the girls and things are amazing!

It was so hard the day we got home from the hospital. My emotions were a mess. I cried a lot. I didnt understand why I was so sad after going through infertility and ending up with healthy twins. I thought I would just be oozing with happiness, but I wasnt.  My parents helped so much. My mom spent the first week at my house  to make sure I was okay. My mom and I took the night shifts, so Dustin could sleep through the night. Having Dustin fresh and ready to go each day really helped! As the days went on, things got easier. I started to really bond with my babies - and was able to handle the night shift alone w/o my mom here. I also started feeling normal again and the crying stopped.

Today, things are great. Well actually it gets better everyday! I am so in love with my girls. We sent them to my parents house for the day so we could chill out and clean - and I missed them so much!

Rallie is adjusting great as well. The first couple days he wouldnt come near me (which added to my sadness) - but he finally got used to his new family members and loves sniffing their heads. He also sneaks in a few kisses from time to time and is back to being my lil sidekick. 

As parents, we are pretty laid back. We take things as they come and we laugh a lot. We learn new things everyday and we keep the communication as open as possible. Luckily, the girls are pretty mellow. They sleep A LOT and eat A LOT - so the transition into our new life is going smoothly. So far, so good. Don't get me wrong, I still need time for myself - yes, Dustin does drive me crazy as times - but, thats normal, right? :-) We are so thankful to have my parents and his b/c they babysit whenever we need them - which allows us to get away and do whatever we need to do to stay sane. :-)

The girls are still pretty small. They left the hosptial at 5lbs 2oz, and we are thinking they are in the upper 6lb range now. We weighed them on our scale and it said 6lbs 8oz - but that could be off. Our doc told us to take it easy on the outings for the first few months - so as of now - we hang out at the grandparents house and go to parks. I am excited for them to start fitting into all of their clothes and to start showing them off to the world once they grow a little bit more :-)

Pumping is also going good. I get about 5-7oz every 3 hours. I can't build a stash, since the girls eat a lot - so, I am normally about one feeding ahead of them. We have had to supplement with formula a few times - but thats fine. Like, I said - we are pretty laid back and just take things one day at a time. :-)

The next fews days  I am going to start attempting to take their newborn pics. The weather has been crap (dark and gloomy), so I havent been able to get good natural lighting. Come on sunshine. :-)

Pics to come.....
 

My c-section went great! The actual prep was the hardest part. It was a tad awkward laying there half naked as a room full of strangers walked around preparing for surgery. Once we got started though, it was a breeze. I could only feel a little bit of pressure the entire time. Dh was beside me and we just kept talking about how crazy it was to be living in that moment of having our babies delivered. About 15 mins into it, our doc told DH to get the camera ready b/c Baby A was on her way. He snapped a few pics and then Baby B was born a minute later. They both came out screaming. I thought I would be a mess of tears, but DH and I both just started laughing with joy as did the entire room of docs, nurses, med students, etc... It was like a huge celebration.
Baby A - Keira was 5lbs 8oz
Baby B - Ella (whos named we changed last minute - it was going to be Elle) was 5lbs 9oz.
They showed me the babies really quick and then took them to be evaluated. DH kept getting up to snap a few pics of them to show me. They were just so beautiful!  It took awhile for them to finish my c-section after the babies were born, so DH and I just continued to laugh as we listened to them scream. It was great! We were then sent to recovery where DH and I fed them for the first time with formula.
The hospital stay was great. I loved being taken care of 24/7 and loved that the babies were as well. We sent them to the nursery at night, so we could sleep and they could be watched over and fed. The nurses were wonderful, I didnt even mind them changing my underwear and pads when I physically could not. It took me about four days to be able to walk again w/o pain, but the recovery was decent. The pain meds really helped as did all the people taking care of me at the hosptial. I just loved being there. It wasnt until we got home when my emotions went crazy.
The day I got home, I just cried and cried. I missed the hospital so much, and was/am scared of what lies ahead. Its SUCH a HUGE life changer for us.  I don't have any ill feelings towards the babies, I just love being with them. I pump for them and feed them only breast milk - which is what I wanted. But for some reason I can't quit crying. DH and my parents have been wonderful though. They help so much and listen to me cry. My mom spends the night with me so DH can sttn, which is really helping right now. The babies though are pretty low key. They eat, sleep and pee/poop - so we are thankful to have such mellow babies as we adjust to our new life with them.
Their health is also great. The apgars scores were awesome, hearing tests passed, doc visit was good - so all is well with them. Now, if I could just get myself together.

It's getting closer........

I'm ready to go! Hurry up May 19th! I am very sore and very big. I can't wait to meet them and seeee them! What will they look like? Their u/s showed that they had some hair and I am guessing that its going to be really dark. Oh, I just can't wait.

I am sad to be leaving my pup though during the hospital stay. I wish he could come. Hes my little dude. Hes the one who has been there by my side (literally) throughout this entire long IF journey and pregnancy. He means the world to me and then some - if thats even possible. So many people keep telling me that he will be so jealous and blah blah blah - its really my biggest annoyance. I hate when people talk shit about my dog, lol.  I think he will love these girls and be just fine. He will stay with my parents (who i think he loves more than me) during my 4-ish day stay at the hospital.

I had my last growth scan yesterday and the girls are doing great.

Baby A - 5lbs 6oz
Baby  B - 5lbs 15 oz

I was put on bedrest for high blood pressure which has since gone down - so really I am just taking it easy. I can't really do too much anyways b/c my joints hurt so bad. I am on season 3 of Dexter. Dex has been keeping me entertained. Love the show, although he uses a tad too much spray tan and lip gloss - hah!

I will leave the post with a few blackberry shots of my favorite little boy...

We were going through old pics and I came across two pics of my mom when she was in college (they did college portraits back in her day) and then found some of me in college - I think we really look alike! My dad has really curly hair and since I was such a HUGE Annie fan growing up, I remember always wishing I had his hair - looks like I got my moms. :-) Maybe these girls will get some of those curls I always wanted from my dad.

Here are a few pics we found. Most of my college pics have alcohol in them, which is tacky - so I will spare the blog and put up one w/o - lol.

I had two good appointments yesterday. My NST went great. Baby B is always so hard to find b/c she moves around like crazy.  They eventually caught her heart enough times to see that she is great and passed the test. She is actually laying sideways across my belly this week - crazy girl. Baby A is is the normal position, so as of now - even if I wanted a vag delivery, it wouldnt be happening b/c they are in the form of a cross, lol.

My OB and I had a blast at my other appointment yesterday. I feel like I have been so lucky to have awesome/fun docs on my side. Anyways, we talked all about plastic surgery. She told me tummy tucks are 5-7k and new boobs are 10k - she even said she had some friends in plastics and would recommend me to the best if I need/want anything done. Love it! I am 5'7, so I am not sure how the weight will fall after the girls are here.  She told me all about how the c-section will go, but warned me she will be out of town the weekend before the Wed of my surgery. Yikes! Im glad she was honest, but really hope she is there in the delivery room with me!!! Her and my Peri are good friends, so it would be awesome if I could have them both there.

I am also thankful for the progress I have made throughout this pregnancy.  I complained so much about being sick and had a lot of nights where I would just lay in my bed and cry so hard b/c I felt like shit. Between being scared and sick, I didnt really have much time to be that glowing pregnant girl - but now, as time is almost here - I am so thankful that I have had no major complications.

My body appearance is holding up. I have gained a lot of weight, but its nothing I can't lose. I am a runner, so as soon as I get the green light, I am going to get back into that - seems to be the quickest way for me to lose the pounds along with a healthy diet.  My skin stayed clear - no breakouts ever, ankles or feet didnt swell (although I am aware it could still happen), and my hair stayed the same.

Strollers. We have five strollers and one doesnt fit in either of our cars. We both drive mini SUV type of cars, so our next big purchase is a bigger SUV - that will have to wait until I go back to work this winter though. Here are a few pics of 4 of our strollers - D is modeling a couple. Two of them are still in boxes as I am still a little paranoid to put them together.

I am hanging in there. My joints still hurt and I am getting bigger, but the babies and my blood pressure are great - so that is what's most important to me right now! It's almost impossible to sleep. I even tried going over to my parents house to sleep in my old bed just for the comfort and that didnt work either - so my bed has been our recliner. And speaking of beds, I havent slept in the same bed as D for almost seven months! After going through bad baby sickness and just being uncomfortable in general - he has been giving me my space by sleeping in the guest room - good guy. :-)

We are as prepared as we can be. We have all of our dining paper products ready since we are going to try to avoid doing dishes for awhile. My hospital bag is kind of packed. I still wear clothes I am planning on wearing in the hospital during my 4-5 day visit - so its impossible to pack those right now. The house is also as organized as its going to get. The deep cleaning stuff is done, so I am happy with that. It's amazing how dirty ceiling fans can get!

I read somewhere recently that sometimes insurance won't cover all of the c-section, so I went into freak out mode. I had just figured it would be covered - so I never thought about looking into it. We have paid over 20k to have these babies already - the last thing I need is a surprise c-section bill. Luckily for us though, our insurance covers them 100% - so that is great news!

Other than that, things are fine. I am bored, but thats okay with me. I would rather be bored at home than in the hospital with NICU babies (although, I am still aware that can happen at any moment). Each day is huge progress and am so thankful every time that date moves forward!

Everything is going great! I have been passing all of my non stress tests (NST's) and my blood pressure keeps coming back normal. I am still throwing up, but its no big deal - the babies are doing awesome and thats my focus.

My OB did tell me my weight jumped :-/ - but then again I havent seen her in 3 weeks - so I am using that as my excuse. Also, my dad keeps bringing me my favorite corned beef sandwiches from a ny style deli and it's so hard to turn them down. The $1.00 M.cdonalds caramel sundaes have also been a frequent visitor to my house as well. :-) Oh well, I am going to enjoy these last three weeks and not worry about my body anymore. I can lose the weight soon enough.

Dustin had a surprise work shower, so we were blessed with even more gifts for these baby girls. I was asked to come, but thought it would be better to hang at home to avoid the cold that has been floating around his building. He needed to experience tons of eyes on him while he opened gifts anyways - its hard work. I always get so nervous opening gifts in front of people - and he agreed that there is a lot of pressure to react a certain way to every gift. :-) Of course, we appreciate everything though! There are pictures of the event, but I havent seen them - I will upload them as soon as he brings the camera home that they used.

Other than that, I am just trying to lay low. We got all of the Dexte.r seasons, so I have been watching those to keep my mind off of baby stuff hoping these girls stay put till May 19th!

My peri (high risk doc). I never thought I would grow so attached to a doctor. My RE was cool and I actually cried when I said goodbye to him - but every time I see my peri and he gives me the news that my babies are doing awesome - I just want to hug the guy! He has the best personality and always puts me at ease - even when I tell him how fat I am. :-/ And then last week, I was sitting at my house eating dinner watching the news - and all of the sudden, there he was. He was featured on the news for saving a baby who probably shouldnt have made it. It was awesome and he made me cry. :-) Dustin likes him as well!

Anyways, the girls are doing great. They keep passing their non stress tests and are right on target size wise.

Baby A - 4lbs 6oz
Baby B - 4lbs 10 oz

I am hanging in there. I am still throwing up, not sleeping and my joints really hurt - but of course I am thankful everyday that I am able to experience this. I have one month left (which is probably the last time I will ever be pregnant) - so I am going to do my best to enjoy every minute - even if it is painful.

My doc said if I were to happen to go into labor at 35 weeks, they probably wouldnt stop it - but as of now my c-section is still scheduled for May 19th (36 weeks and 1 day).

My vibrating back massager works wonders when my feet start throbbing. I just plug it in and set my feet right on top. I highly recommend buying one or digging it out of storage like we did when D was tired of squeezing my feet every night. :-)

This is getting harder. My joints are really hurting me, I can't walk around too much and I can't sleep. I have five more weeks and can't wait to meet these girls!

To kill time, I have been babysitting for two elementary school girls. They basically hang out with their friends after school while I lounge around. It's easy and they are family friends, so they asked me if I wanted to do it this month while I am out on leave since they normally use a babysitting service.

I don't have my next appointment until next week and I am kind of going crazy. It's nice seeing the girls every two weeks, but these off weeks make me nervous. They are moving around, so that eases my mind a bit - but I really dread night time b/c I never feel like I am sleeping in the right position and am scared of crushing them. So, as of now I have been sleeping in our recliner.

And lastly, I must mention my tulips! I planted these after I just found out I was pregnant (back in October). I remember hoping so badly that by the time they had bloomed, I would still be pregnant. And here I am -  pregnant with two of my own little tulips. It makes me happy every time I go outside and see them. 

It's bad. Meds do nothing. Phenegran (sp?) and Zofran have failed me. I try and not complain too much as going through infertility has made me appreciate every little step of this - but it's really hard waking up to loud dry heaving into my toilet. It's a joke now between D and I. I laugh as I puke. It's really a great method of not getting bummed out over it.  I also can't really sleep, and its not b/c I am uncomfortable - I am just not ever tired. Fatigue is one symptom I wish I had, but never got. I go to bed between 11-1:00am and then wake up between 4-5:00am. Sometimes I will try and take naps, but naps only give me headaches.

As for work - I am done for now. My leave is up in May and I don't plan on returning to this job. I design stores for Ni.ke and its too hard being on my feet all day - plus it requires a lot of driving since I cover a certain amount of stores, which is not ideal for me when babies arrive.  So, my plan is to take about 6 months off to spend with babies and then return to the world of corporate retail where I did my college intership. My dad has offered to babysit when I return to work - which is awesome!


And here are a couple  purchases I couldnt resist. I can't wait to dress these little girls up! Also, the rug I found for the baby room (please ignore the crib sheet that needs ironed in the background). :-)

I had an appointment with my Peri today and everything looks great. The girls were kicking me and each other, so all is well. :-) The ultrasound pics weren't very good except for a decent one of A's profile and I don't have a scanner, so I took a picture of the u/s with my blackberry.  Also, one from the waiting room. Dustin is trying to score points by reading a parents magazine - haha - and yes, hes posing! :-)

Baby A - 2 lbs 14 oz - Heartrate of 153
Baby B - 3 lbs 2 oz - Heartrate of 156

As for me, my m/s is back. I am throwing up again and back on the nausea meds.  Other than that though, I am feeling good. I don't have back pain, I'm not swelling, and I am sleeping fine - so really all is well.

We are pretty much ready for babies. We only have one car seat in the car (im still a little paranoid to set them both up), and only have one crib ready (for the same reason), but other than that - the house is organized, painted and clean.

I made the first goal that my docs wanted me to reach of 28 weeks, and also passed my GD test. So happy.  I had an appointment with my OB today, and everything is going great. She said my ankles are still "skin and bones" (love her), so no swelling yet. A really "nice" lady at work told me my ankles were going to swell and I will get spider veins all over them, bitch - hopefully I can prove her wrong. :-)  The babies heart rates are both in the 150's and measuring right on track. Since I only saw my OB today, I didn't get the heights/weights - I will get those when I see my peri next week. It was a quick appointment and she said she will see me in two weeks!

I can't believe I have made it this far with no major problems. I hope to keep these girls cookin' until May 19th.

Here is the start to the nursery. We moved the guest room furniture into our third bedroom - which is now the den/guest bedroom.

I have one more shower next weekend, so I will bring up all the pink stuff next week once I can organize and see it all together. We also don't have our baby furniture yet - so half of our family room has been invaded with pink (please ignore the mess). :-)

I had my first shower last week (the big one) at a friends house. We had 60 people come to show their support for us! It was so exciting opening baby gifts. I seriously never thought the day would come when it would me MY turn and it felt fabulous. I was almost positive I would be an emotional mess, but I was so overwhelmed with all the people, food and gifts that it never occurred to me to start crying. I admit I did start crying once when my mom surprised me with my two twin cabbage patch dolls from when I was a baby - I had no idea she kept them!

I am also feeling great! My headaches are gone, puking has STOPPED, my rib feels better and most importantly the babies are doing amazingly well.

Baby A - 2.1 lbs
Baby B - 2.2 lbs

They should make their arrival on May 19th at 36 weeks and 1 day! Hang in there babies!

Enjoy the pics, you will notice I am not in a lot of them b/c I am not happy with how I look right now (selfish me). I can't wait to have these babies in my arms and fit back into my cute skinny clothes again. :-)

I always said I would be the girl who never takes pics of my bump. I just dont feel very pretty, although I am sure the little girls making this bump are. :-) But here is one of very few pics so far. I make no promises on any future pics. :-)

I had my monthly visit to my OB yesterday, I see my peri (high risk doc) every two weeks. She said my cervix is wonderful. She said the average is 4 and mine is 5 plus - so as long as my cervix does what it is supposed too as well as the babies - no bed rest for me!

Girls are measuring GREAT!

Baby A is 1lb 2oz
Baby B is 1lb 1 oz

My cervix is holding up fabulous. My u/s tech told me I had the cervix to carry twins. They said as long as my cervix looks great (and the babies), I won't have to go on bed rest - but of course I am taking it easy regardless.

I am stopping work in March. I design Nike stores around Columbus and am on my feet for hours. It's getting more and more uncomfortable. This is going to be a sacrifice financially, but we can make it. We live on one income as it is, so we have been lucky enough to be able to save and have learned how to live at a low cost
(which is far from how i used to spend back in my college years).

I do plan on returning to work as soon as these babies will allow, but for now my focus is them. And if it means cutting waaaay back on everything, then that is what we will do.

We worked so very hard to get pregnant and so far it's been so physically draining on my body. I am now 22 weeks and 4 days and have yet to have one good day. I started off scared of having another miscarraige and then the headaches hit. The all day long sickness came around 8 weeks and hasn't stopped. I have been hit with two very long colds, one even sending me to the ER b/c I felt my rib crack from months of coughing. And speaking of hospital visits, I have been three times - once for dehydration from puking, once from cramping and then my rib injury.

I have been on a number of safe meds, which still doesnt make me happy. I turned into a "green girl" and quit using body products with any sort of parabans or harsh chemicals to feel better about my all around living environment. I wanted to go into this pregnancy as clean as possible, and of course the thought of putting all of these meds into my body was very frustrating for me. :-( So far, I have been on Tylenol for headaches, Zofran and Phenegran for puking, prescription cough syrup for coughing, and finally percocet for my rib injury. :-( I know that all of these meds are safe, but it still makes me so sad that I have to take them. I tried so hard to battle EVERYTHING with home remedies, but that only landed me in the hospital for dehydration from the puking.

So, here I am sitting here at 22 weeks and feel awful. My head is pounding, my rib hurts and I feel sick. :-( I HATE complaining about all of this, and keep telling myself that it's only temporary - but the days are going sooo very slow (esp in this cold month of February with a foot of snow on the ground).

I can't wait to meet these little ladies and look back on this journey knowing every trip to the toilet or pop of a pill was worth it. I can't wait!!!!!!

The girls are doing GREAT!!! We had a small scare yesterday, I was having some cramps that I had never felt before. We went to L&D and I checked out fine. Apparently sometimes cramps just happen and they didnt see anything wrong, so they sent me home. I had a follow up appointment today with my twin doctor and he said the girls are perfect! D was also able to come and it was so fun being able to watch the babies together on the u/s screen. D tried to take a video of the ultrasound, but he got in trouble by the U/S tech. LOL.

They are both weighing 13 oz and everything on their bodies looks very healthy. We were finally able to see the four chambers of their hearts, which we werent ever able to see before (which had me worried), but it was very clear today that they did in fact have FOUR! So, as of now, we have nothing to worry about. They will see me again every two weeks until week 28.

I am still puking. It started around week 8 and has continued ever since. It has eased up a bit, but I had to leave work today to puke yet again. My bad cold I had about week 17 is still hanging on, but I am now only left with a cough - its still very annoying though.

My doctor also told me that since my cervix looks great I can continue all normal activity! I have been so worried about being on bed rest only b/c I still need to work - so this is just great news for D and I!